All rights to Veronica Roth…I own nothing.
"TRIS!" I yell at her , " TRIS OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AT ME! TRIS IT'S TOBIAS! TOBIAS!"
She stops flailing about with her arms over her face. Her breath is heavy and I can feel her heart is racing through the pulse in her arms. Slowly, so slowly it hurts, she lowers her arms. Suddenly her eyes meet mine for the first time. A pang of pain surges through my body. I go so dizzy I'm afraid of fainting but I hold on to her. Looking her right in the eyes. I have to give her time.
Her eyebrows squish together like she is examining me. She brings one of her arms towards my face and I let go. Ever so gently she reaches up and touches my lip. I flash back to doing the same thing after I had rescued her from Peter, Al and Drew. I smile and she pulls back opening her eyes as wide as she can.
" Tobias?" she croaks.
I feel a smile grow straight across my mouth and fill my face, "That a girl!" I say, " There you are!"
She cups her hands to my face and just stares at me. She swallows hard, " You look different… "
I can't tell her of course I look different. My muscle tone is basically gone now and I have a thinner frame. She takes one of her hands and slides it down my face. Her eyes follow her hand and she watching my breathing for a few minutes, completely silent. I lean down and put my mouth to her gently. I have missed kissing her so much that I feel tears streaming down my cheeks.
A beep goes off somewhere in the room and I know it's my timer. Matthew gave me strict instructions on giving the drugs to her in such a way that she comes off of them. I kiss her hands and stand getting the injection ready. Suddenly I hear a gasp. I turn and she's holding her belly and staring wildly.
" Tris?" I ask, getting the needle ready, " What's wrong?"
As I cross the room back to her she starts to hyperventilate.
" Where is it? Where did it go?" she cries out
" Where did what go?" She has me panicked now. Did I forget to get something at the lab?
" The baby? Where did the baby go?" She frantically strips the bedding from her body and pulls her shirt up. " Where is it?"
" Tris what baby? There is no baby!"
"Our baby!" She cries, " Our baby! It was right here; you were touching it! Where is it?"
Suddenly, I'm flooded by several different thoughts. Abe had told me that while in the tank she was under simulation and that it wasn't a fear one. Her simulation was our lives together! We were making a family. I feel my face get hot again. This is what Matthew was afraid of. She woke up from her simulation, the only thing she knew for 2 years, thinking that it had been real life. I can feel my heart breaking. I have to act quickly.
" Tris!" I shake her, " Listen. I need you to sleep! Don't worry, I'll take care of the baby but I need you to sleep!"
She still screams so I have to hold her down and give her an injection. I stretch her neck out and place the metal to her skin, and plunge the needle into her. I've done this so many times to her I could do this blind folded at this point. Within seconds I see her eyes start to close and she grows still.
" Tobias..." she whispers.
" I'm right here Tris!" I reassure her, " I'm going to be right here when you wake up I promise!"
The next 24 hours are touch and go for us. She wakes up every so often. Some times she is screaming and fighting me, and some times she caresses my face and tells me she loves me. When I see her awaken, I don't know who I am going to meet. This lasts well into the night and the next morning. The drug injection she gets at 11 am puts her down for a few hours. I decide it's best I eat something.
I walk into the kitchen and start to cook for myself. I'm not really good at it, but I'm learning. I find myself stuck somewhere between common Dauntless meals and simple abnegation food. I cook myself some plain chicken and some hot rice. I sit at the table and take my first bite, when there's a quiet knock on the door. I peak in on Beatrice to make sure she's resting peacefully first. Peering though the peephole, I see Matthew outside. I wipe my hand off on my jeans and open the door.
I see him smiling and I know it's a friendly visit.
" How's it going?" I ask as he enters.
" I was just about to ask the same thing!" He jokes. " How is she?"
" Exactly as you suspected." I tell him. I make a nod to the table and he follows, sitting across from me. I take a bite and make a gesture for him to have some but he shakes his head.
" Well she woke up for starters. " I say, chewing.
" And?" He pries, " how did that go?"
" She seemed animalistic at first. Disorientated. Then she calmed a bit."
" Did she..." He quiets himself, " Did she recognize you?"
" Once I calmed her down. I think the first few minutes she was within her own head still." I can tell what he's about to ask and answer first, " She was happy to see me. She touched me, let me kiss her."
Saying that lifts a weight off of my chest. It's a little easier to breathe now. I shovel in the last bite of my chicken into my mouth. I probably ate too quickly, but I want to be prepared if she wakes up.
"Is that it?" Matthew asks, getting up and grabbing a bottle of beer out of the fridge for both of us. He cracks them open and hands me one. I nod in thanks.
" Yeah. You were right about the simulation. She freaked the fuck out. Started grabbing at her stomach. " I tell him, taking a sip and looking across the room, " She kept asking where the baby went…"
I hear my voice carry off at the end of that sentence.
He thinks for a second, his fingers to his mouth. " Well," He says, " Abe DID say the simulation would be perfect for her. It was what she would never have with you. A future."
My heart aches. But before I can dwell I hear a noise in the other room. I jump up and run to the door. She's tossing in her sleep. I take my place next to her on the bed and wait. She brings her hand to her face and turns over, falling back asleep.
I stay for a minute or two, watching her then I get up and rejoin Matthew.
" She'll be okay!' He reassures me. " Just stick the regiment I gave you. Today you have to drop down 10mg. You are going to do this every day until their gone."
" Yeah, yeah." I tell him, " I remember."
Writer's notes: I don't want anyone to think i'm brushing over her detoxification. A real drug detox o this magnitude would take quite a while, but for the sake of the story i'm shortening it. otherwise it would just be 5 chapters of Tobias sitting by a bed, trapped in his own head with his thoughts. Sounds fun, but daunting. anywho, enjoy!