Chapter six: Farewell, my love

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting. - J.M Barrie

Darcy could not feel his arm, so with effort he tried to open his eyes. Elizabeth had laid next to him on the couch, she was sleeping. They must have slept,while he was reading. He looked the big clock in front of him, it was still night. He looked down on Elizabeth again, she looked so peaceful, so beautiful, so tempting. How much he wanted to wake up like that for the rest of his life.

He tried to move, but he could not. Elizabeth's head was touching his arm, if he was about to move, he could wake her up. He tried to move again a little bit, when he heard her voice "Do not move, please" Darcy immediately froze and stood still. Gently, he touched her hand, and she squeezed it a little. He smiled.

Elizabeth immediately opened her eyes as she realized, where she was. They had fallen asleep, while Mr. Darcy was reading poerty. She looked up at him just to see him looking back at her, smiling. She instantly stood up.

"Oh my god, Mr. Darcy. I had no intention to sleep, I..." She paused "I am so sorry, I should not have..." She blushed.

"Do not make yourself uneasy, I just woke up as well" he smiled a little

"I am so ashamed" she said an looked down on her lap

"Do not be! It is really no importance"

But before he could continue, she interrupted him "I should probably go to my chambers". She stood up, but she immediately fell back on the couch, she could not walk at all. "...Or maybe not"

"Can you not walk at all?" She nodded. "Let me.." He said and touched her hands

"No." she almost yelled. No, she did not want to lift her, she did not even want to touch her, it was too much for her. She could not put herself into that kind of situation, where she could not get out. She already knew that she was in love with him, but touching her, hugging her, feeling his body so close to her, no, that would not do. She was not going to forget him that easily and that should not happen. He was engaged, for god sake!

"The servants are gone to bed and I will make sure that your sister will not hear us."

"She is a very light sleeper." she hesitated. "Ill wait here, until she wakes up. I am sure that would not be a problem."

"If you insist upon it then, as you wish." he stood up "But please, at least laid down"

Elizabeth laid down and opened the book, trying to read it "Goodnight."

Darcy sat on the desk, taking out some papers "Oh no, I am not going anywhere, if you do not mind."

She smiled. Why he should be so kind and caring? Why he should be so lovable? After a minute of silence, when she stopped reading, she finally said "Mr. Darcy.." She paused until he turned his look at her "I thank you"

He smiled and without saying anything at all he returned to the letter, he was writing.

The next two days passed quite dull, at least for Elizabeth. She was forced to be in her room, when everyone else was out, enjoying the weather. The maid, who used to take care of her, when Jane was not, came into Elizabeth's chambers to inform her that the dinner would be soon served and she gave her a letter that Mr Darcy gave her before he went out to give to her. She said that she found it under the sofa and that Elizabeth's name was written on it, so she took the liberty of giving it to her. Elizabeth thanked her and she put the letter in the open book, that she was reading. But when the maid was about to leave, Jane came in.

"How are you this morning, Lizzy?"

"Bored Jane, I cannot longer stay locked up in here"

Her sister sat next to her, taking the book away from her hands and put it on the desk "Do not be unjust, sister, mama and Lydia were here yesterday to keep you company"

They both laughed. "Where did you go?"

"We take a walk near the neighborhood, but Mr. Darcy said that he had to take care some business. He left."

Elizabeth froze. "Why?"

"He said that he had to go to London, but I do not know why" she paused as she touched her sister's hand "Will you miss him?"

"Yes." she admitted "But I suppose it is for the best."

"For whom?"

"For both of us, Jane. We cannot suffer anymore, knowing that we will not be together"

"But, Lizzy he loves you and you love him back. Why do you make things complicated?"

Elizabeth laughed ironically "Because they are, Jane they are" she yelled. She let some tears fall down her cheeks "He's engaged and I am not going to ruin his life"

Jane hugged her, just to calm her down and when Elizabeth finally stopped crying, Jane sang to her a night song that it helped them fall asleep, when they were little. And they actually did.

It was dinner time, when Elizabeth woke up again. She was alone in the room, which was expected. She opened the book, which she was previously reading, when she found his letter. She had totally forget about it. But there it was, waiting for her to be opened. So she did.

Dearest,

everyone are long retired and to sleep. Now, the night far advanced, the house silent, I alone remain awake, at last free to speak to you as I choose. But do not be alarmed, this would be my last letter, at least a letter of this kind. Yes, I'm willing to say it again! Heart of mine, I crave your bold glance, I long for the tender warmth of you look; I welcome your advency, and prize it. You have touched me more profoundly than I thought I could ever be touched. The important thing is I do not want to be without you for the next twenty years, or fourty ot however may there are. I've gotten very used to being near you. And I wish, from the bottom of my heart that you wish that too, me and you, together, for an eternity. Because, I know that I'll never be happy with anyone else, as long as you walk the earth, my dear.

The reason of confessing those feelings again is that I am confused. You letter, which I received weeks ago, permited me to think and hope something I did not allowed myself before. But, days ago, when I asked you to let me into your room, I found the door shut. You were ill and I suppose that you must be sleeping. At least, that is what I hope, it happened.

I beg you to give me this time a clear answer, but please do before I am gone. My sister is ill and I must go to her, but I will come back for you, if you ask me to. For I beg to know expressly your intentions towards the love between us. Necessity comples me to obtain this answer, for I am more than a year wounded by the dart of love. And, I am not yet sure whether I shall fail or find a place in your affections. But if not, I swear to you, my love, that I shall never bring up those sentiments again, I will bury the, deep down in my heart, I swear.

She could barely breathe, as she finished the letter. She was crying again. Because she knew, that was the very end.

So, here is the letter I've promised you. Tell me what do you think about it. And of course, tell me if you liked this chapter. Review please!

P.S Check out the previous one, if you have not yet, because I am not sure If you did. Only two of you actually reviewed, which is depressing. But, if in this chapter your opinions, remain the same on number, I will stop my story. Because it is pointless to write, if no one is reading.