Sorry for the huge delay. Writing time is short but I'm still plugging away whenever I get the chance. Please read and review. For the one reviewer (remaining nameless) who is discontented with the pairings so far, all I can say is it will happen. Be patient, and until then, be nice! This chapter is unbeta'd so the mistakes are my own. Sorry Arabella Whitlock, I have lost your email address. As always, I own nothing but a dirty mind. xxx
And so he stayed. Because I had asked him to.
He put his fingers around mine, lifting them from his chest to his lips. "Lie back down Bells, it's too early to get up." So I rolled back over on my side, relishing having another living soul in my bed. A warm body to fill the emptiness. Jake lay behind me, his arm over my hip and his head on my shoulder.
"I could get used to this," he whispered pulling me to him. I smiled back at him, not wanting to commit to a 'forever' right now, but not wanting to burst the bubble either. I snuggled back harder against Jake whose hand now seemed to have a mind of its own. His tongue began to trace patterns around my neck and ears, while the autonomous hand crept slowly up from my hips to my breast, cupping it gently, his thumb mimicking the patterns of his tongue on my nipple. Taking my soft sigh as a show of consent, his hands wandered further down my naked body, one resting on my hip as the other slid between my legs. He cupped me there, pulling me close as he began to rock his hips slowly against me, setting a gentle yet deliberate rhythm. I quickly met his movements, pushing back against him for his pleasure, then forward into his hand seeking my own. It escalated quickly from there. Jake's fingers slipped between my folds, circling my clit. He groaned when his fingers encountered the wetness evident there.
"Mmmm Jake, that feels sooo good."
"Honey, you are always so wet for me. Open your legs wider."
With that Jake hooked his hand around my thigh, pulling it back and over his hip. I felt exposed and vulnerable, but oh so good when his hand crept back between my legs and his fingers pushed inside of me taking my breath away. Our hips rocked in time with one another, his fingers worked slowly in and out of me and the fire inside burned brighter and brighter. I knew I couldn't take the slow pace for much longer.
"Jake, please ..."
"Please what honey? What do you want?"
I needed him, needed to feel all of him inside of me. But I didn't have the words or the confidence to ask for that. I stammered, " I ... I need ...ooooh," my words disappeared into a groan as Jake, knowing full well what I wanted, pushed slowly inside of me, filling me while his hand continued to rub circles against my clit and his hips continued rocking in time with mine.
"Is that what you wanted babe, for me to be inside you?"
"Unngh, yes Jake,"
"No place I'd rather be," he said, his voice husky, his face now buried in my neck as he pumped harder. I couldn't take it anymore. It felt too good and I felt myself trying to close my legs as my orgasm approached, wanting to ride it out and control it.
"No babe, keep your legs apart for me, just let go when you're ready."
And I was more than ready. His words pushed me over the edge and I could feel every muscle clamping down on him, pulling him deeper in to me and releasing over and over as he too reached his climax. Satisfied, we slept again. A tangle of arms and legs and naked glowing skin.
Even though I had asked Jake to stay, I awoke alone again that morning. I could tell I had not been alone for long - the sheets were still warm and still held Jacob's delicious earthly scent. I heard voices in the kitchen, and knew that the boys had started the morning routine without me again. Perhaps this was the new routine, me lying in bed after a very pleasurable night while the other two corners of my triangle prepared the breakfast. I quickly washed, dressed and joined them.
It seemed that we were still the first to wake, and as such, we were spared the inquisitive glances of our peers who might wonder how Jake came to be in my house so early in the morning. No-one batted an eyelid as they all assumed he had simply shown up for breakfast like Jasper, rather than sharing my bed the night before. Everyone that is, except for Rosalie, who smirked in our general direction at every given opportunity.
The next few days came and went as did a variety of visitors. Charlie and Billy, along with Jasper's folks came up overnight and couldn't believe how much work we had done on the old place. It was feeling more and more like home and I dreaded leaving it, even to go back to Charlie's for a few days. I was not looking forward to leaving for college. It increasingly seemed like a silly idea when all I wanted to do was live out my life in peace on the ranch. I was somewhat mollified with the thought that Jasper would be close by and that Edward of all people would be attending the same institution. At least there would be someone to team up with to travel home at weekends and holidays. Jake had a job lined up and would be doing mechanical work in our home town. He was saving for his own place and had promised to visit.
As it turned out, Billy knew the old woman who owned the neighbouring property. She too had fences sadly in need of maintenance, but no family of her own to take care of things. Billy quickly brokered a deal which meant we could borrow and ride any of her horses we liked for the duration of our stay. In exchange, her horses would be exercised, and we would mend the fences with the materials she had on hand. Jake, Jasper, Emmett, Rose and I introduced ourselves and after a few days traipsing back and forth between the two properties, we had things looking like new. We had planned to take the whole group of us out to the falls tomorrow before some of them started heading back and had arranged to bring some of the horses back to my stable for the night so we could set out early in the morning, making the most of the daylight. Some of us would need to double still, but with enough capable riders, everyone who chose to would be able to make the journey.
By the morning of our first organized excursion, I had some insight into the growing gap between Jasper and Alice. It was a divide that had started out as a small crack and quickly turned in to a gaping chasm. Jasper was reserved and resigned toward Alice, though it was clear he still cared for her. Alice seemed aloof and cold, though confused, as if she was missing some little piece of a puzzle she could solve if she only thought hard enough about it. Before long, we were all choosing mounts and loading gear into saddle bags for our day trip. Almost everyone had chosen to ride alone and in the end we were only one mount short, so I volunteered to double with Jake as seemed to be our habit. I was eager to climb up and seat myself in that wonderfully safe and secure spot between his legs even though it was rather enticing to feel his body so close to mine in front of all our friends. Especially when most of said friends had no idea just how close I had gotten to Jake or how much I had enjoyed it. Again I bore the smirks of Rosalie with patience, but had to add two more concerns to my list. The raised eyebrows and goofy grin coming from Emmett showed me that the secret may be out again, and the icicle clad gaze of disgust coming from Alice meant that it was indeed time for us to have a conversation about the physical aspect of loving someone.
The ride was peaceful and enjoyable, an easy camaraderie between friends. We tethered the horses in a small clearing not far from the falls. It would allow them some space to roam while avoiding the noise we would no doubt create with our fun and frivolity. We trekked the last few meters to our destination on foot and were soon rewarded with the suitably appreciative murmurs from our friends at our discovery of this beautiful place. We set down the saddle bags in the shade of the trees and proceeded to break up into small groups in varying combinations of swimmers, sunbathers and general conversation. Jake immediately dove into the water and began rough housing with some of the boys. I chose a nice sunny spot near Rosalie and was enjoying the serenity when Emmett approached grinning from ear to ear.
"So Baby Bells...spill!"
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean Emmett," I relied trying in vain to control my own grin.
"Come on honey, this ain't my first rodeo. I saw you up on that horse with Jake and all I can say is - that is not the first time you've ridden with that man. And I mean that both literally and figuratively."
Who knew Emmett could use multi-syllable words!
I just blushed a lovely shade of crimson reminiscent of a bad sun burn. Drawing in a deep breath I decided to play Emmett at his own game answering directly and getting straight to the point. "It's probably not what you think Em. I'm just using him for the sex."
Emmett guffawed loudly while Rosalie looked on in pride. I had learned all my forthrightness from her after all.
"You go for it girl," he chortled, "But remember, if he hurts you, I'll hurt him."
"Well thanks for your concern Brother Bear, but I think I can handle it from here," I retorted, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. I sauntered over to the water close to where Jake stood and dove in, surfacing a fraction too close to him for it to be misconstrued as a platonic gesture. I was seriously contemplating going in for a passionate kiss right there in front of everyone when I felt Alice's frosty glare boring a hole in to my face.
"Hold that thought Jake," I whispered. "It's time the frigid Miss Brandon and I had a little chat about the birds and the bees." I dragged myself back out of the water and scooping up a towel walked towards Alice who had her aloof confused gaze firmly back in place.
I walked over to her and directed her to a quiet spot under the trees, away from any ears that may be interested in our conversation. "Alice, I'm going to get straight to the point. From the looks you've been giving me today, I'm guessing that you have a problem with something I'm doing."
A range of emotions crossed her face in quick succession. She swung from defensive to irritated, speechless, confused and back again before the facade finally gave way and the shy, insecure Alice who had first admired Jasper from afar stood before me.
"How can you stand it?"
"Stand what Alice, I'm not sure what you mean?"
"How can you stand so close to Jacob, sit with him on that horse with his ... you know so close to you. He looks at you like you're something to eat!"
I'm guessing that now is not the time to mention that I enjoy it very much when he treats me like something to eat. His tongue and teeth have been to places there is no way prissy Alice could approve of.
"I like it Alice. I like that he finds me attractive. I think he's sort of beautiful too. It's a nice feeling to have someone be close to you, physically close to you."
"But guys just can't leave it at that can they, being close to you I mean? They want to always touch you. And I don't mean like holding hands or kissing. They want to touch private places, and they want you to touch theirs. It's grotesque!"
Is that seriously what she thinks? She's stuck in an eight year olds mind. No wonder Jasper is so frustrated with her. How can she be like that at our age?
"It's not grotesque Alice. It's natural and normal. When you both want to be with each other it feels good to touch, even if it is in a private place. There is something really special about sharing yourself with someone that way."
"You can't be serious! How could you ever want someone to see you that way? It's completely obscene. Jasper tried to make me touch his, you know, once... it was so hard! That can't be right. There can't be anything pleasurable in that. It's perverted."
This girl has some serious issues!
"Ummm, you know where babies come from right Alice? You know like, umm, what bits go where right?"
"I'm not an imbecile Bella! Of course I know about sex. But sex is for making babies. It's a wife's duty to let her husband do that in the marriage bed for procreation. It's not a game. It's a duty and a sacrifice."
"Oh sweetie, it's so much more than that. It's an expression of love between two consenting adults. It's not a duty and if you do it right it feels incredible, and you want to do it again and again."
"Well I never want to do it. No perverted man is going to stick his thing in me until I'm ready for children and hopefully I won't have to do it too much then."
"Do you think that's what Jasper wants?"
"I thought Jasper would be different. I thought he would understand - he seems to get that I'm uncomfortable with people and he was okay with not being physical at first, but he's just like all the others. He only wants one thing. It's over. I'm not wasting any more time with someone who can only think about what's happening between their legs."
"I'm sorry you feel that way Alice. Jasper's a good guy. He loves you. Wanting to be with you that way is a natural progression."
"There's nothing natural about it. I told you. It's over; he just hasn't got that through his head yet."
I reached over and squeezed her shoulder (she flinched even at that small amount of contact) and went back to the water's edge. I was lost in my thoughts when Jasper swam over and dumped his dripping body in the sun next to mine.
"So Miss Scarlett, did you finally get the low down from the infamous Miss Brandon?" he drawled.
"Oh Jasper, what can I say? I thought that maybe you needed to be patient with her or something and that she'd come around, but I never expected anything like that."
"But what did I do to her? What did I say to make her like that?" he whispered. His sorrowful puppy dog eyes would be my undoing.
"Oh honey no...," I said to him. I moved to sit behind him, wrapping my arms and legs around him as if I could cushion the blow by keeping him safely encircled with my body. "Listen to me Jasper. Nothing you said or did has made Alice this way. From the things she told me today, she has some real psychological issues with sex. It's nothing that you did or didn't do. I don't think she's been in a situation before where she had to think about it. I think she was in denial that you would want that sort of relationship with her."
"Maybe if I tried harder, put the physical side of things on hold for longer, maybe she'd come around ..."
"Jasper, I'm going to come right out and say this, even though I know it's going to hurt you. It's not going to work between you no matter how hard you try. You can't be what she wants. I don't know if there is any man on earth who can! You need physical contact from your partners, hell you're one of the sexiest men I know. You can't just bury that side of yourself to be with her. She may never come around and it's killing you. I don't like how withdrawn and unsure of yourself you've become since this whole thing with her started. You need to be yourself now and see what comes of it."
"I know. I know it's over; it just hasn't sunk in yet. I didn't think it would end like this..." his voice trailed off, leaving us sitting in a silence that seemed at once to be intimate and too vastly empty to deal with.
We had been sitting for a while, me wrapped around him while he stared vacantly, when Jake discretely walked past, catching my eye. Immediately a million thoughts tumbled through my brain. It's not what it looks like! I haven't chosen him, he needs me, don't be jealous...
His face showed only concern, no judgement or accusation. He nodded towards Jasper and mouthed the words "he okay?" I gently shook my head trying not to draw any attention to Jake's presence in this quiet moment. Jake simply smiled at me and whispered "Stay with him," before continuing on his way. Eventually Jasper came back to himself a little, and seeing to draw some strength from somewhere, smiled and hugged me. "Don't know what I'd do without you Scarlett," he murmured. "But let's get off the pity train and get these campers fed." With that he began to round up all our hungry companions and started sorting through the provisions we had bought along while Emmett lit a small cooking fire. Once we were all fed and resuming our activities, I sought out Jake.
"Thanks for understanding that back there before."
"What's to understand? I don't own you; you can have whatever friends you want and Jasper looked like he was in a very dark place. Has he finally worked out that Alice can't handle his manliness?" he stated stifling a giggle.
"Back off Jake. Things were so much worse than we realised. I think you might have known a bit of what was happening, but I had no idea how serious a problem it was. She's completely nuts. She thinks sex is only for 'procreation in the marriage bed' and is a 'duty and a sacrifice'. Jasper feels totally rejected and is wondering how he made Alice that way, as if he had anything to do with it."
"I didn't mean to make light of it. I knew something was really wrong there. You know he'll come looking for you now don't you. You were always his plan B."
"I'm his friend Jake. I'll be there when he comes looking for me. I'm going to help him through this."
"That's not what I meant and we both know it." He looked at me for the longest time, as if willing me to say something. But what was there to say? Jake shook his head and walked away.
The afternoon proceeded to be a good one, even with the underlying tone of anxiety I had about what the next few days would bring. We all enjoyed each other's company as well as our beautiful surroundings. We ate, drank and made merry until the shadows grew long and it was time to head back. I rode double with Jake as I had on the way out. It was hard to miss the desperate glance that Jasper shot my way when he saw me safely ensconced in Jacob's arms. Would he really use me as his rebound to wash away the horror of Alice? And hadn't I wanted to be with him all this time? What had changed? I knew that Jake had changed it. He had changed me. He had allowed me to be who I wanted and have what I wanted with no strings. But it was suddenly time to pay the price and decide for real what I needed from each of them.
Jake kept Samson to a slow pace and before long we had dropped behind the rest of the bunch, just enough to be out of ear shot. He pulled his arms tighter around me and rested his chin on my shoulder letting out a sigh.
"What's on your mind Jake?"
"Nothing much. Just enjoying being close to you while I can."
"Do you think everything will change now that Jasper and Alice have decided to give up?"
"I hope not. But I know that you wanted him, even though he treated you badly. I know he wanted you once he knew how you felt, but that you weren't available then."
"And am I available now?"
"Well honey that's completely up to you. I've said before, you can have as much or as little of me as you like. You don't have to choose to be with me. But he may not feel the same, and believe me, he is coming for you. It might not be any time soon, but it will happen. You need to know what you want when he does."
"Jake, for the first time in a long time, I'm happy. I like what we have and I don't care who knows it. I just don't want to be flaunting it in Jasper's face right now when he's going through his break up."
"That makes sense I guess. I like being with you two, more than I expected."
We rode on in silence for a little while longer. When we arrived back at the ranch we were nominated to feed and organise the horses for the night while the others went about the evening chores. We completed our tasks, dancing around each other then coming together in a gentle brush of hands or bodies until our work was finished. After first checking that we were indeed alone in the barn (seems as if he'd learned from experience), Jake pushed me into a dark corner kissing me with gusto. I responded to him quickly, the flame that always lurked just beneath the surface igniting instantly. His lips trailed down my neck to my shoulder, nipping softly as he pulled away, the moment passing.
"Someday very soon, when all the rabble have returned home, I'm going to bring you in here and fuck you. I want my memories to be about me with you in here, not him." It was the only time I had ever heard even the trace of jealousy from Jake. He always seemed so accepting of the things that had happened to date. I blanched feeling guilty, as if I had purposely hurt him.
"You're pale tonight Bells, and stressed. You need a good night's sleep." He kissed me again gentle and then walked on out of the barn as if nothing had happened. I felt emotionally exhausted from the day. Two guys, with two egos, and one who was now bordering on despair and blaming himself for everything that had happened. How could I ever cope with it all?
After dinner, I studiously avoided both the guys, spending my time instead with Rosie and Emmett, drinking some and saying little.
"What's got you down tonight Belly Bean?" asked Emmett.
"She's firmly entrenched in a very messy little love triangle, even though she's been trying to avoid it," replied Rosalie, straight to the point as always.
"Triangle? What the...? What am I missing here?" Emmett was confused. I, however, was wondering just where Rose was going with this. "I thought you were joking when you said you were just using him for sex!"
"Oh Em you big lummox! Open your eyes and add up the numbers. Baby Bella here fell in love with our Jasper about two years ago. He's been leading her on and sneaking stolen kisses all the while professing to be in love with Alice. Bells finally got her shit together and decided to take life by the horns. Jake's been teaching her a few things in that regard and she's blossomed. But now Jazz is single again, she's not committed to Jake although she definitely has a soft spot for him, or at least parts of him, and all three of them are wondering what's next and how it's going to work."
Emmett sat with his mouth hanging open, his head swivelling back and forth between Rosalie and I waiting to see what amazing fact would come next. I think he was waiting for me to deny it all, but I just didn't have any fight left in me.
"Yep, that's pretty much it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my third of the triangle and going to bed. I'm exhausted. See you tomorrow."
I left a concerned looking Rosalie and a clearly gobsmacked Emmett and took myself to bed, straight to bed, do not pass go, do not collect $200. I did not seek out either of the boys before retiring, just took my sorry weary self off alone. Stripping down to my t-shirt and panties I fell in to bed, seconds from sleep. My last remaining thought was to vaguely wonder if Jake would come tonight as had been his habit of late, even though I hadn't expressly invited him, but I was too tired to remedy that now.
As it turned out, I did have a visitor that night.
It wasn't Jake.