Chapter sixteen: Dany

The Lannister's fuse was to be replaced. Ned was always known to keep a promise. A ladder was pressed to the side of the house, and Ned climbed it like he would any other day- ignoring the rain with the eldest Lannister boy holding the bottom steady. But for no reason but his own, the boy's hands abandoned the ladder, and the mud below the legs gave away, thrusting a soaked Eddard Stark to instinctively reach out and grip the bare wires. He died before an ambulance was contacted, and his body was left in the barn. Left in that cold, wet barn.

"Joffery?" Robb said, And Dany could see Jon tensing, his breath laboring.

"I should have…" Jon's somewhat calm demeanor was diminished as he threw the kitchen chair to the ground. And all the women jumped. But not Dany, she was use to her brother breaking down this way, and found herself awaiting a beating.

"Jon!" Sansa shouted, closing a pajama clad Arya against her.

"I hate him! I hate Joffery!" This sparked a screaming reaction from the younger girl, shouting from the tops of her lungs, throwing her fists into her sister, "I want him dead!"

"Arya!" Theon growled stoically as Rickon gave a startled sob, and the older boy stood, threatening to remove her from the room. Cat dropped to the table further and Dany rubbed her shoulders and whispered into her hair, letting the older woman wring her pajama top in her fists.

"I will kill him." Arya stated defiantly, speaking what everyone had been trying to push to the back of their minds.

"They just put him in the…. Like he was an animal…" Robb whispered into the palms of his hands, and the room fell silent. "Fucking-"

"Stop…" Cat sobbed, glancing at her children with red PUFFY EYES, stopping on Jon. Dany knew what she was thinking. He was the last to see Ned. He could have said something. It should have never had happened. And Jon reacted exactly as expected.

The boy could feel red-hot anger pulsing through him and poisoning his flesh. Kill. Kill. Kill- it was relentless, it was what he was breathing, feeling, hearing. He should have been there. He should have saved him. Kill. Kill. He was her brother, and everyone was Dany- in the pathway of his wrath.

It took one look, and Dany lunged for his arm, but he was tearing out of the house and out into the mud. "Stop him!" "Jon!" "He's going to kill that boy!" "Robb- grab him!" "JON!" "Kill him!"

Everyone was shouting over one another, and it only increased the rage- his intention to kill. He marched out into the road with his head pounding and his teeth gritted. Dany threw her body in front of him, barefooted, muddy, hands extended.

"Stop it- remember who you are!" She shouted at him, and his fists balled up. He wanted to hit her, hit her with everything he had. Kill her. "Remember?"

"Shut up." He warned under his breath, stepping towards her, but she remained stationary. He wanted to crush her; catch her in his hands and crush her into dust. She was so such stronger that he was. He hated it.

"It's not anyone's fault, these things happen."

"Move, dammit." He hissed at her, but she didn't blink, her purple eyes stared at him with an unreadable intensity. He could see her mouth twitch and her hands reach for him, but he reared back into the mud. "I said fucking move!"

"No! Fuck you!" She shouted, shoving him. And instinctively, he shoved her back.

"Fuck you!"

"Who are you angry at? It's not me or that boy- are you angry at yourself? I think you are- I think you're fucking pissed. It's not your fault."

"Yeah, it is. I should have been there with him." He said with his voice cracking. "I looked him in the eyes and left him."

"What were you going to do?" She asked him, his body relaxed noticeably. "Were you going to kill that child?"

"…I don't know."

"You were going to kill him- leave behind two mourning families, a baby… and me."

"I…"

"You're better than that," she said, and now she could feel hot tears on her cheeks; it was hard for her to be strong for the both of them, "you are so much better than that."

"I'm sorry." He reached for her hand, but this time she was the one to back away.

"I think you need to go to your family… they're hurting really bad, Jon."

"Yeah…"

"You scared them." She sighed.

"Yeah." Jon turned from her, sulking back into the ranch, the rain had picked up again and hid his tears from her. But her hand found his and threatened to never leave it empty again.

She wasn't invited to the funeral, but she went anyways, standing a considerable distance from the Starks. Ned's tombstone was a hundred feet from Viserys, so Dany sat there, watching Jon for any indicators of his rage. But he did nothing. Only dragged himself around like a defeated man with no more tears to shed, receiving no hugs- no embraces that had told him it was alright.

A woman with fiery hair approached the group from the road, stumbling over the curb. Dany watched cautiously as her boyfriend departed from the gravesite to greet her. That must be Ygritte, she thought. They hugged, holding each other long enough to whisper meaningless words. Jon glanced at Dany, who pretended not to notice, standing up to retreat down the road.

You barely knew the man, but fuck- you could at least cry for him. It wasn't as if he were someone you hated- he wasn't someone like Viserys. He was a decent man, and you should fucking sob and scream for him, because there's a lack of decent men. Was it real? Did he really die? Is someone going to appear with a smile and say it was a joke? He really wasn't dead and there's no reason for your boyfriend to be heartbroken and clinging to the will of living. Where's that person? Where's that fucker?

Dany's thoughts distracted her in a way that was maddening. Her hands went to press on her head, as if she could crush them and find peace. But there was no silence. And part of her wanted to go to Jon, tell him that she's sorry and she understands- but she really didn't, and although he'd thank her, he'd know it was secretly bullshit. No one could possibly understand another's demons.

She lifted her phone with aching arms, finding it hard to walk to Missie's house without texting anyone. Not Jon, he was at a funeral. But not Missie either, she was in class. She just wanted to be near someone. Anyone.

"Daenerys?"

"Oh-ah." She stopped herself from stumbling into Mr. Jorah Mormont, who at this moment was exiting a coffee shop in casual clothes, "I'm sorry, I-"

"Are you okay? You're crying." The concern was genuine, but she was too perplexed to care, reaching to the wet patch beneath her eye.

"I am?"

"I heard about Ned Stark, that's something terrible- you know, that your friend lost his dad."

"Boyfriend…" she corrected quietly, wiping black smudges onto her sleeve. Why was she crying?

"Oh." He said with clear disappointment in his voice, "sorry for your loss."

"I didn't know him- I mean- I only met him several days ago… then he… yeah." She finally looked to him and his brow was lowered, almost angrily, and as if he disregarded her previous sentence.

"Your boyfriend treats you right, right? Not like your brother?"

"Wha- no. No- of course not." He nodded as if he understood, adjusting himself on the curb.

"You two aren't having unprotected sex, right?"

Her stomach churned and the hair on her neck stood, "I- I don't think that's any of your business, Mr. Jorah… excuse me."

His body moved to block her, "I just don't want you catching any diseases- or getting pregnant with a bastard's bastard; your brother would turn in his grave."

"Please move-"

"You didn't deny it," he stepped towards her, and she hopped back with her phone clutched tightly in her fingers. His hand extended to her hair, twisting it in his hands. "I wish you hadn't dyed your hair."

"Please- you're scaring me."

"You're so beautiful."

"Stop it." She warned as his hands found her waist, digging his digits into her sweater.

"I wish I could have taken you away that night. saved you from him-"

"I'm not yours to save," Dany yelped as tears welled in her lilac eyes, pushing his hand aside with her own trembling one. "I'll never be yours."

A truck pulled along the curb, and their attention was drawn to it immediately. After a van had passed, the passenger door opened up and relief flushed all over Dany's body.

"Dany," Jon said with a dull voice, watching the older man intently until he dropped her brown locks, "…come here..."

She obeyed immediately, rushing around the front of the truck to reach him. When her arms went to his neck, a reaction was torn from Jorah, and he shouted to them, "don't demand things of her- she's special. She needs to be treated like a Queen."

"I'm not your Queen," Dany called with a sharp voice, pushing her way into the crowded truck, followed by Jon- who didn't need to ask about what he had just interrupted. He knew.

"Are you okay?" Robb asked her past the steering wheel and a scrunched Theon, not hesitating to speed away from the scene, leaving Jorah a tiny speck.

"No… but it's okay now." She didn't like being the focus of attention, and instead she craned her neck to look at Jon, "how are you?"

"I'm okay." He nodded, and smiled pitifully when she gave his knee a squeeze.

"Hey, don't go getting fresh." Theon teased. It was nice to see the funeral hadn't wavered his humor.

"Is there a reason you guys came after me?"

"Just in the neighborhood," Jon lied with a chuckle. It was sad to communicate with just the shell the funeral had left behind.

"Don't lie to me, babe, you don't even live in that direction." She laughed as if they were the only people in the car. Normally it would be okay to talk to one another like that, but they had an audience today.

"Babe?" Robb scoffed in a teasing manner, slowing for a crooked stop sign. Dany realized how ridiculous the term was as it was leaving her lips, and his brother's jesting made her face grow red with embarrassment.

"There's a present for you." Jon interjected, quickly adding, "at the Ranch."

"A present? Why?"

"Isn't your birthday in, like- a week?" Theon guessed as he wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

"Oh. I guess I forgot." She said to herself, and she had forgotten, because she never actually celebrated her name day. "It's been a busy week."

"Yeah." Everyone agreed.

All of them clambered from the truck, Jon went to his pocket in search for a cigarette, and nobody appeared eager enough to stop him. Dany went about handing out kisses and hugs to the other brothers, apologizing for their pain.

"That was nice," Jon murmured past the length of the cigarette, watching the two boys sulk into the depths of the house. Dany's arms snaked around the width of his stomach and her nose pressed to his collarbone.

"I'm sorry that happened."

"It's okay."

"It's not, though."

"…come on." He demanded again, but she knew he was hurting too much to care about it, and she was far too loyal to him. They walked towards a freshly repaired fence, and it was drizzling when they had reached it. " ' see that colt?"

"That little black one over there?"

"Yeah, he's yours." When she lifted her brow to him, he turned from her and looked down, as if he found the ground more interesting. "My father wanted you to have him."

"He's beautiful." She smiled, searching the field for the black smudge because now she was struck with possessive urges. But Jon was quieter than before, almost as if his breathing had stopped completely. "What's wrong?"

"Um…" he started, rubbing his neck with urgency, "I talked to Ygritte today, and she told me that she wanted me back."

"Oh."

"I said no," he said hastily, as if he were trying to stop the damage, "but then… she- uh. She told me that she was going to terminate the pregnancy as soon as she was positive it was there, because she just can't- won't- do it by herself. And I thought I'd be happy… but I'm not… I'm kind of upset. I kind of wanted the baby, you know? I just don't think that's fair…"

She couldn't find a response, rubbing his shoulder with the breath hitched in her throat. She wanted the baby too; desperate to hold them and let them know that she loved them, even if she was just a stranger. "Well… perhaps there won't be a baby… then everything will be fine… right?"

"But it's like- there's this little piece of me…" he choked out, bending over so that his arms rested on the edge, leaning all of his weight on the fence, "a piece of me that could have done something great with its life… and now, it's dead before it can."

"I bet Ygritte's scared," Dany said, and the name felt limp in her mouth. She didn't know her, but she applied feelings to the red-headed mystery woman, because she was an actual human being and not just a name. "She's probably feeling helpless and like this is the only way out… she's probably feeling alone…"

"Yeah… I guess you're right. Maybe there won't be a baby…"

Dany leaned to whisper into his ear, her hair curtaining around them. "We could have one… we could name it after your father."

"I think it's too early for us to be playing God like that," he whispered back, but he could not hide the sliver of eagerness that drowned in his words.

"I want one… before you leave for the Army."

"I'd never see them grow…" Jon spoke as if it was beyond a consideration, it was now a fact. "Why the fuck did I do that? Why did I sign up that day? I wish I could back out of it."

"Me too," she laughed away any tears, because they were both trapped in the result of that day. "But can you imagine… I could have a home waiting for you, and no one would ever dismiss you for what you are- we'll make love to music every night, and raise our baby during the day- you'll return to work and we'll start over the next time."

"But it's not just returning to work… it's pure separation. People change. I'll change, you'll change." His head pressed to hers but his face was turned, "what if you won't love me anymore… because you won't recognize me?"

"I don't think that's possible. I think I'll always love you. Even if you told me that you hated me, beat me, and tried to abandon me," she smiled into his hair, and her hand gripped his with desperation," I'm just so obsessed with you. Obsessed with the smiles you share with me, how you lose control when you fuck up, and the way you breathe, kiss, and speak. If you think being together isn't right, then I'm alright with being wrong. We were never right in the first place- and hasn't it been great?"

"Yeah…" he laughed with satisfaction, and lifted her hand to press to his mouth. "I think I might be obsessed with you, too. You always know what to say, and you're stronger than I am."

"Are we soulmates?" She asked, fighting the embarrassment that ensued, because only babes believe in that. People are so quick to deny its existence, that when it finally happens nobody has enough faith to believe it- let it pass them by.

"Yeah- love at first sight probably."

"Can we buy a flat and have some babies?" She asked with a childlike delight, twisting his arm so he could face her. "Even if you're only around for a little while- it's what I want. I really want it."

"Sure."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"We'll have sex on all of our cheap furniture-"

"None of the decorating will get done, we'll be too busy-All of our walls will be half painted."

"You can smoke all the ciggies you want and we'll make terrible dinners together." She giggled.

"But what about when I leave?" His voice crumbled with realization.

"I'll use your shirt like it was a pillow case, and dream about you."

"I'll keep your photo in my pocket, and dream about you."

"Okay," she quietly whispered, her lips curling up.

"Okay," he agreed. "Let's buy a flat."