Chapter eight: Let the love kill you
"I was young and I did not know how to love."

My dear, find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your renains. For all thing will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it is much more better to be killed by a lover. Falsery yours.

Ten days later…
Elizabeth was in the drawing room, alone and confused. She was alone, because all her family had visited Netherfield as they used to do the last few days and as for the latter, she was confused because she received a proposal. It was from Georgiana Darcy. She invited her to stay a week in Pemberley, claiming that she felt so lonely because all her friends had left her and she needed company. As for her brother, Fitzwilliam Darcy, he had gone to London to take care some business.
Elizabeth stared at the letter, which her friend had written with so much care, for couple of minutes. She fought with herself for the rest of the day, she fought her mind, which was telling her not to go, but her heart, which was aching, won. She was determined to go; she could not let down a friend, and especially her, who had a special place in her heart. Not only like a lovely girl, but as a sister, she was afterall the sister of the man she loved.

Two days later, she was in the garden with Georgiana. They loved to sit next to each other and read poetry, especially Byron. The afternoons, Georgiana played the pianoforte and learned to Elizabeth some new pieces. But that moment, there on the garden, under the hot sun, Elizabeth wished that she could call her sister, because she thought her as one. She wished to spend the rest of her days in that home, sitting on that bench each morning and finally to call such a beautiful estate, home. But most of all, she wished that she was his wife. She wished with all her heart that Darcy could have her in his possession, to love her as he loved himself, or even more.
But that was not possible, or maybe not?

"Elizabeth…" Georgiana almost yelled just to catch her attention. "What are you thinking?"

"It is nothing Georgiana, really" she lied.

"My brother says my exact same thing to me, everytime I ask him, but I do not believe him, just like I do not now."

"I'm telling you the truth." She simply said.

Georgiana smirked. "I should be happy that my brother is getting married" she paused "but somehow I am not"

"What?"

"I thought you knew." She paused again, Elizabeth's heart stopped for one second, she even forgot to breathe "Your sister should have told you, since you are invited. It's a double marriage"

"Georgiana what are you talking about?"

"My brother is getting married the same day your sister does. But honestly…"

"Whom?" Elizabeth almost screamed.

"Our cousin, Anne de Bourg."

"I see" Elizabeth simply said and looked her lap. So, it was really the end. He is getting married in less than a month.

"I'm surprised though, that arranged things so quickly." She paused to think "He asked for her hand, a week ago"

"What are you talking about? Wasn't he engaged to her for years?"

Georgiana touched her hands "No, of course not. Lady Catherine plans this engagement, since he was infant, but I did not believe that he would actually consent."

Elizabeth forgot to breathe. But he was engaged, Lady Catherine told her. How could that be true? "I do not understand"

"I thought…" Georgiana said almost in tears "Do not tell me that is the reason, why.." Elizabeth nodded and Georgiana turned pale. She loved him, she was in love with him the whole time. Elizabeth was in love with her brother, but everything was ruined now. "Do you still love.."

But before she could finish her sentence, Elizabeth nodded. "It is alright Georgiana" she said and took her hand in hers. "Everything will be alright."

But, the truth was that Elizabeth did not believe the things she said. It was not alright, nor will be. There is an odd moment in a person's life that they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. That is the worst moment, when you feel you have lost the desires for all that was most desirable, before you are contented with what you can desire; before you know what is left to be desired, and you go on wishing that you could desire, what desires had left behind. But you cannot understand. How could you understand what is to feel empty?

He was not engaged; all this time he loved her. But she loved her back. He got engaged, just because he thought that she did not have any affection towards him. What she was supposed to do with her life now? She ruined everything. She tried so hard not to cry, but that was a bit pointless. She did, in front of Georgiana. She cried until she could not breathe any longer. Georgiana hugged her tight and Elizabeth finally wiped her tears.
A few times in someone's life, there is absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and the person can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp. And the world seems so fresh as though it had all just come into existence. The person can never make these moments last, because they fade. And that was happening in Elizabeth's case. It is very hard to realize that your life had or will have anything meaning, nor future. The future that every person dreams and stays alive for; a better one. How could that happen when she felt empty? When she was empty, she was indeed. Without him, at least.

Elizabeth was in the drawing room hearing Georgiana's performance, when they both of them stood up when they heard the door opening. But before Elizabeth could face the person, she heard a voice. A very familiar voice, the same voice she could make her shivered. Fitzwilliam's Darcy voice.

"Georgiana" he yelled "I am back!" Georgiana immediately run into his arms and hugged him very tight. But just then, he saw Elizabeth standing in front of him, looking the floor. She was quite red and ashamed.

"I invited Elizabeth, since you were gone and..." his sister said, but before she could continue, he interrupted.

"How are you, Miss Bennet?" he asked with his cold, severe voice. Elizabeth finally looked up at him, just to see him looking her intensively.

"I am very well, thank you" she replied and looked down again.

How could that even be possible? How could she be here, in his home when he was away? How much he would loved to hug her, smell the perfume and stay in her arms forever. And in that peculiar moment, Darcy cursed himself for engaging himself to someone, who did not love. He should have stayed, fought for her love. Make her love him back even if it was in vain. How stupid he had behaved, but he was young and he did not know how to love. But hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. And sometimes it is best if we died, when they did. But we do not.

I know this chapter as the previous one is somehow depressing to some of you. But, I swear that the next one is not. Please comment and tell me what do you think of this chapter and if I should continue. I want to thank once more everyone, who has followed and reviewed my story. You guys, give me power to carry on.
P.S. Tell me what you want to see and maybe I will do it.