Jason pulled up on his motorcycle in front the Quartermain mansion and was already feeling like the your not welcome sign was on. God did he hate coming here. He didn't mind so much when Lila was alive because she loved and accepted him no matter what but now that she was gone he didn't feel wanted there any more. Which was weird because Monica always made him feel welcome. She was his mother after all but Jason was never able to connect with her in that mother and son way. Monica was important to Jason but more like in a good friend kinda way. He knew that hurt Monica a lot because he was her son not some stranger off the street. Although she had known Jason his whole life, to him he had only met Monica a few years ago so she her status in his life was not as high as it should be. Jason had to give her credit. She never gave up on him coming back to her. He had pushed her to her limits plenty of times by telling her to leave him alone, constantly hurting her by rejecting her as his mother, telling her the son that she knew was dead, then finally shutting her out of his life completely by joining Sonny's organization. Through all the trials and tribulations he put her through she stayed the course and waited for Jason to come to her and when he did she accepted her son anyway she could get him and Jason didn't realize until this very moment how glad he was that she kept trying to reach him.
Jason went to the door and the rang the door bell. A few moments later he was greeted by the always pleasant Alice.
"Well hello there stranger. How are you?" Alice smiled.
"Hey Alice. I'm fine. I'm here to Monica is she here?" Jason said.
"She's waiting for you in the study. Have you been eating you look thin?" Alice said.
Jason laughed. He could be four hundred pounds and Alice would still say Jason looked thin.
"Yes, I've been eating." Jason said as he headed towards the study.
"Dr. Quartermain, Jason's here to see you." Alice said.
"Thank you Alice." Monica said.
"If either of you need anything please let me know. Especially you Jason. I still say you're too thin. Cook would be glad to fix you one of your favorites." Alice said.
"I'll keep that in mind Alice, thanks." Jason said.
"I'll keep my ears open." Alice said then left the study.
Monica was sitting on the couch when Jason walked in the study. She smiled when he walked through the study doors. As she got up to approach him she noticed right away that something was wrong with Jason. There was a look on his face that he used to make when he got upset about something but was trying to hide. Monica knew that look like the back of her hand but hadn't seen it since Jason's accident caused the personality change. It was a welcome and puzzling site.
"Hello Jason. I'm very glad to see you. Now what can I help you out with? You sounded like something was bothering you and I can tell from the look on your face that it's pretty upsetting."Monica said.
Monica went back towards the couch she was sitting on and sat down in the spot she was previously in. She saw Jason was still standing in the same spot. She shook her head then smiled a sad smile. "I won't bite you Jason. You can sit next to me." Monica said as she patted the seat next to her.
"I know. I just never feel comfortable here. It still feels like I don't belong here." Jason said as he took off his jacket then sat close to but not next to Monica on the couch.
"You will always have a place in my house Jason. You are always welcome here." Monica said.
"I know and thank you. Now how did you know somethings bothering me?" Jason asked.
Jason was very surprised that Monica picked up on that something was bothering him. He was usually very good at hiding his emotions from people. Even Elizabeth would have trouble picking up what kind of mood he was in sometimes.
"When you were little, you used to make this face when something got you upset. You would poke your lip out and then look like the weight of the world was on your tiny shoulders. When some asked you if your were ok you'd always say you were fine but then you would eventually tell me or your dad whatever was wrong. You have the same look on our face now. Like something is weighing you down. Minus the poked out lip of course. I haven't seen that look on your face in a long time." Monica said.
"There is something bother me that I hope you can help me out with." Jason said.
"Anything you need I'm here, you know that. So what is it?" Monica said.
Jason wasn't sure if he should open this can of worms with Monica. It may be more trouble than it was worth.
"Jason?" Monica asked.
Here goes nothing Jason thought.
"I need to know about my relationship with Keesha Ward." Jason said.
Monica was blown away by what she just heard that she had to hear it again.
"You need what?" Monica asked.
"I need to know about my relationship with Keesha Ward." Jason said again.
"Alice! Alice!" Monica yelled.
Alice came running towards the study at sound of her name.
"Yes ma'am? Are you alright Dr. Quartermain?" Alice asked out of breath.
"I need a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with hot fudge and nuts sprinkled on top. Now." Monica.
"Oh boy. That bad huh?" Alice said.
"Yes." Monica said.
"Ok. I'll be right back. You just hold on." Alice said then hurried out the door.
Jason gave Monica a confused look.
"Was it something I said?" Jason asked.
"It was everything you said." Monica said.
"Look, I knew it was a loaded question when I asked it and that it might cause you some pain by answering but if what I said bothers you that much then we don't have to talk about it." Jason said.
Jason grabbed his jacket and was about to leave when Monica grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to his seat.
"Jason, it just caught me off guard and for a heavy topic like this I need something just as heavy and since alcohol right now is really out of the question then sugar is the next best thing for me. So just give Alice a moment then we can talk because I have some questions for you two." Monica said.
Jason nodded his head than sat back down and waited with Monica for Alice's return.
A minute later Alice returned with the bowl of ice cream and gave it to a grateful Monica who dug in to the bowl the moment it was placed in her hands.
"Anything else?" Alice asked.
"No Alice, tell cook thank you for making this so quickly and thank you as well for getting this to me in record time." Monica said.
"Well I know you don't usual ask for this unless you really need it so I got it to you quick." Alice said.
"I appreciate it. I'll call if I need anything else." Monica said.
"Ok." Alice said then headed back out the study.
Monica took one more spoonful of ice cream into her mouth before she looked back at Jason.
"Ok. Now that I have my fix. I will tell you what you need to know only if you answer my question first." Monica said.
"You want to know why I want to know right?" Jason asked.
"Yes." Monica said.
"It's complicated." Jason said.
"Then take it one step at a time." Monica said.
"You know Keesha is back in town right?" Jason asked.
"Yes, Edward has mentioned it." Monica said.
"Well seeing her again after all these years has really thrown me off." Jason said.
"How so?" Monica asked.
Monica looked at Jason and could see he was having a really hard time talking about this. She had never seen Jason so flustered. He kept trying to start a sentence then would stop like the words he wanted to say where on the tip of his tongue but wouldn't leave his mouth. She placed her hand on his and smiled. Jason turned towards Monica and smiled back at her. He seemed more calm and glad that she wasn't rushing the answers out of him.
"I'm feeling things. Things that I don' understand because they are from another person. Another life. Another me. I need to know why I'm feeling the way I feel when I see her or hear her name." Jason said.
"What are you feeling?" Monica asked.
"Everything. Love. Desire. Attraction. Sadness. Guilt. You name it, it's there. Since I saw her I can't stop thinking about her. She is my every thought and I can't understand why." Jason said.
"Well, Jason you two were very close and with the way things ended between you two I can see why there would be some unresolved feelings left behind." Monica said.
"Yeah but you and Tony both said that the Jason Quartermain part of me was pretty much gone. So, how can I be having feelings from that side of him?" Jason asked.
"I don't know. Maybe we should bring you in for some test." Monica said.
"I don't need test. I just need to know what their relationship was like so I can understand why these emotions are starting to resurface. What was so special about them?" Jason said.
Monica took another spoonful of ice cream before she started her way down memory lane.
"Well, it was love at first sight. Which is a very rare thing. At least it was for you. Yes, you dated girls before but when you met Keesha it was like magic for you. You never met a girl like her before." Monica said.
"How did we meet?" Jason asked.
You met at one of the Nurse's ball. You literally bumped into her. You shared a dance with her and started talking and the attraction grew from there." Monica said.
"Where we together a lot?" Jason asked.
"After a while yes. You see, AJ also liked Keesha very much so it was a slow start to your relationship. You were friends for a long time. And although you were quite shy Jason, you were very persistent and eventually you won her heart." Monica said.
"How were we together? I mean what made us special?" Jason asked.
"You two just clicked. You understood each other and never let things like color or money get in the way of your relationship. No matter how much each family disapproved of you two being together you both found ways around that." Monica said.
"Why did our family disapprove of us being together?" Jason asked.
"At the time there was bad blood between the families because it was believed that Edward had something to do with the death of Bradley Ward Justice's father. We later found out that Bradley was in fact Edward's son and he had nothing to with Bradley's death. Eventually both families put aside their differences and you two were able to date." Monica said.
Monica looked at her son and saw a puzzled look on his face.
"Jason, what's wrong? You have this look on your face like your still trying to figure something out." Monica said.
"I don't know. They don't sound so spectacular to me. They just sound like two regular teenagers." Jason said.
"There's more to it Jason. You and Keesha really cared for each other. It wasn't just puppy love. There was real love there. Not to mention you were each others first." Monica said.
"First what? Boyfriend and girlfriend?" Jason asked.
Monica was trying very hard not to laugh but couldn't hold back.
"No. No. You arraigned to take Keesha to Paris because she had never been there and you wanted to show her all the sights. I don't know all the details and still don't as a mother but what do you think happened? Two teenagers in the most romantic city in the world?" Monica asked.
A look of understanding came across Jason's face and a smile.
"They lost their virginity there." Jason said.
"Yes. When you both came back you were more committed than ever to each other. Things were going so well for you both." Monica said.
Jason saw Monica's face change and she started to look sad. He knew what was next.
"Then I had my accident right?" Jason said.
Monica nodded silently and took another spoonful of ice cream.
"I treated her so bad." Jason said.
"Yes, you did. But in your defense it was a confusing and angry time for you. Everyone including Keesha was trying to get you to be someone you didn't want to be or remember." Monica said.
"If the accident hadn't happened do you think they would still be together?" Jason asked.
"I would like to think so. They were very much in love and like I said it wasn't puppy love. I think they would have gotten married and been very happy together. I have a theory on why this is all happening." Monica said.
"I'm all ears." Jason said.
"The heart wants what it wants Jason." Monica said.
"What?" Jason said.
"What I mean by that is even if you can't remember Keesha, that part of you, the Jason Quartermain part of you still does. She is still very much apart of him and his heart. Seeing her awoke something inside of you that we all thought was dead and gone. I think that missing part of you wants to make peace with Keesha and heal some of the wounds that both of you have." Monica said.
"Yeah, well he's got lousy timing. I'm trying to make a life with Elizabeth and the boys and I need to be on my game with trying to find out who shot Ric. I don't have time to settle High School romances." Jason said.
"Well, you're going to have to make time Jason if you want to live your life. You have to make things right with Keesha... for all three of you."