Chapter sixteen: It must have been love

"It must have been love,

But it's over now,

It must have been good

But I lost it somehow

It must have been love

But it's over now

From the moment we touched

'Til the time had run out." - Roxette

Elizabeth woke up with the same feelings she fell asleep with. Pain, misery, grief and lose. Yes, she felt a lose of something and more acurate, someone. Seeing Darcy looking at her in this way, she felt that she had lost him. He did not need to say a word, to confirm her, in fact he did not act at all. He just left. And that was frightening. She knew that they were not going to be together, but she did not want to feel anything bad about her. The truth was, that she did know what he must have felt or thought. All she knew, was that she had to talk to him.

She found him, one hour later, in the library, reading a book. She sat next to him, waiting for him to start speaking, but in vain he did not. He did not even look at her.

"Good Morning" she simply said

"Good morning to you" he replied with his serious voice, still not looking at her.

"I am pleased to find you here" she paused "I wanted to discuss about last night"

He took a deep breath "There is nothing to discuss"

"But I think to clearify the situation. I do not know what you believed..."

"I need to ask you something." She nodded. "Did you welcome his affections?"

"What?" She almost yelled. "I do not understand"

"I asked you a simple question, Elizabeth. Did you welcome his affections, yes or no?" He asked, almost yelling, but still keeping his look on the book. That was the only way, to calm himself. If he would look at her eyes, he knew that he was going to melt.

"No! Of course not"

"Then what did he want in the middle of the night?"

"I know not" she confessed.

Darcy finally turned his face, to look at her. "Do not act the innocent to me!" he screamed. "He knocked the door for a reason"

"I am telling you the truth Fitzwilliam. Do you think me such a wanton?"

"You said it yourself." Elizabeth froze. "I never thought that you could be that kind of woman. For God's sake, you saw him just yesterday." he said, desperately, angry And hateful in the same way. But, just as he heard his words, his heart stopped. No, he could not have said those things to her. No, he knew that she was not that kind of woman. He tried to speak again, take back all those things, but he could not.

Elizabeth looked at her lap, trying not to cry and at the same time, did not let her anger take over her. But that was not possible. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" She yelled "He never gave me any impression beyond friendship nor have I accepted anything"

"Is that so?" He yelled again, but Elizabeth stood up turning her back to him. He immediately grabbed her hand, making her look at him.

"You are hurting me!" She screamed, but Darcy kept pressing her arm. "You are hurting me!"

"I never believed that I trusted you." He paused

"You are being ridiculous" she said and touched his hand "Listen to me..."

"I am hearing..." he laughed ironically

"The truth is I do not know why he knocked the door, but I know that I am not what you are accusing me"

"You found him available and set to marry him for your security, just because I made that promise and I was not available." he paused "But, I told you that I will find a way, why did you not believe me?"

That was it. She slapped him, hard. Darcy got pale, except a part of his cheek, which was pink from the slap. She froze for one second, regretting what she did. Angry, and in love with him, tremendously ashamed, she turned away and left. Darcy stood there, watching her moving away.

Words can be said in bitterness and anger, and often there seems to be an element of truth in the nastiness. And words don't go away, they just echo around. And they kept repeating inside her head, bringing the same scene over and over again, until she could not breathe anymore, from the crying. She was hurt, angry and sad, not knowing if it was possible to feel all those feelings at the same time. How dare he, treat her in that way, speaking in that manner and of course, believing all those dreadful assumptions?

It would not matter anyway, it was over, for good. She should not have started it in the first place. No matter how much she was going to pain, trying not to love him, it would not worth it. It does not worth loving a man, who believes such dreadful things about you, seeing you as an abomination. It was going to be hard, impossible even, trying to forget him, stop loving him... The truth was that she could not stop loving him, the only thing she could do was to love him less than she did before. But, could she?

And then she heard a knock the door. She quickly strained her dress and wiped her eyes, trying to hide the redness.

"Why did you not changed? Did you forgot that today is the picnic?"

Ohh, no. "Georgiana, I have a terrible headache and..."

"But, Elizabeth you promised. Afterall, you are leaving in a few days and I want to spend time with you"

Elizabeth looked at Georgiana and tried not to cry in front of her, not show any emotion rather than sympathy and love, she felt for her. How could she be able to deny her such a simple thing? But, on the other hand, she was going to see Darcy again and she was not prepared to, not for now at least.

"Alright"

It was a lovely day, but to Elizabeth it made no difference at all. Even the sun was shinning bright upon them, even though there was a light breeze, she could not feel anything. She only felt numb, dazzling and hurt. She could feel the pain overwhelming her, she had not the strength to walk, or talk. She just wanted to lay on bed and sleep, forget eveyone and anything.

The two ladies walked down the lake, with Georgiana talking to Elizabeth. The truth was that she did not pay any attention to what she was saying, but she had to seem happy and excited for the picnic, which they both planned for days now. As they were getting closer, see could see both of the gentlemen standing, looking at them. Elizabeth's heart almost stopeed and she could feel her breath becoming heavier. She hated the man!

"Good morning, gentlemen" Georgiana said.

"Good morning to you" Richard replied. "Shall we sit?"

Elizabeth could not feel her legs, but nevertheless she sat down next to Geogiana, away from Darcy, but his sister, who had other plans, asked Elizabeth to switch places, because the sun was distarbing her. Elizabeth with heavy heart, accepted, and sat next to him.

"Will you not go to London today, brother?" his sister asked. Darcy just moved his head negatively, unable to speak.

"Are you alright, Miss Bennet?" Colonel asked. "You do not seem fine"

"Yes, I am thank you. I am just tired" she paused to think some excuse "I did not sleep well last night"

"i can imagine." he paused "I heard some noices coming from your room, I knocked your door to ask you if there was something wrong. But, I suppose you were asleep"

"Probably" she simply said and looked at Darcy, who was turned his face to meet her eyes. It was as simple as that.

"Elizabeth" Georgiana suddenly yelled, full of worry "What is that?"

Elizabeth looked her left arm, just to see a purple bruise. Darcy got paled. He had hurt her, that thing was his fault. She kept repeating that he was hurting her, but his anger did mot let him listen. He could not feel his legs and for sometime, he stopped breathing. How was it possible for him to hurt her, when he loved her so much?

"Ohh, it is an accident" she lied, lookimg down on her lap.

"It must hurt enormously" Georgiana confessed

"A little" she lied again.

But, just then, when Georgiana had occupied Richard, and Elizabeth was looking down, Darcy found the chance to grab her hand and give her something, a piece of paper. Eizabeth immediately looked at his eyes, which were red and black circles were created under them, she gave him back what he just handed her. That was it, enough!

If you have time, listen to the song by Roxette. This is the longest chapter, I have ever written, I believe, it not One of the best thought. But I had no time for confessions and descriptions of their feelings, because I had to build the plot. But, I will potray them in the next chapter. This fight and misfortune, would be the most important of all, because finally we are going to see if Darcy is willing to break the engagement or not. I hope that I did not disappoint you. Review please, it is important.

I wish you a happy easter. I have already written the next chapter, so I may upload it in the late afternoon, if your reviews keep rising! I want to make you understand that with reviewing you give me strength and power to continue, afterall I love hearing from you. Btw, I want to give my love to all of you, who keep reading and reviewing.

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