A/N: The next and final chapter will push the story to an 'M' rating. I hope you'll join me. *Lynn

Reference to and dialogue from: The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

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"Dr. Cooper, is there something wrong?" Penny asked tentatively as she 'sat' on the coffee table leaning against the television remote so as to view Sheldon at his whiteboard.

"What makes you ask that?" Sheldon said flatly without turning around.

"Well, over the past week your sleep schedule has been off, you're eating sporadically, you're skipping work and you've been wearing that poncho for five days."

"Perhaps I'm imitating Emperor Palpatine."

"You mean he didn't shower and brush his teeth either?"

Sheldon turned his hooded head to glare at his phone. He then put his pointer fingers to his temples and squinted in concentration.

"I'm melting! I'm melting!" Penny groaned.

"I was crushing you," Sheldon said disgustedly before returning to his whiteboard.

"Sorry. I'll remember that for next time." Pause. "You haven't written anything on your board for over two days. Are you...stuck?"

"Does it look stuck?" Sheldon snapped as he stood away from the board. "Are the quarks not calculated? Here are the bosons," he snarled as he pointed to a particular part of the equation. "Here is the differential field. Here's the Cooper constant. It's all here."

"It's beautiful."

"It's meaningless!"

Silence.

"Why would you say such a thing?" Penny asked quietly.

"Because they found the Higgs."

Penny was confused. "But string theory requires a Higgs boson."

"And supersymmetry," Sheldon added. "The thing is the energy of the Higgs that was found is totally consistent with the Standard Model without supersymmetry." Here he sighed. "If supersymmetry exists, it needs to be at such a high energy that it no longer solves the problem it was designed to solve."

"It doesn't mean string theory is wrong," Penny said gently.

"But it doesn't give the support to the theory that low-energy supersymmetry would." Sheldon went to his spot on the couch and sat. "I've succeeded in making a bunch of 'pretty math'."

"Which still have applications."

"But aren't profound enough for a Nobel Prize. I put all my efforts on my horse and she's pulled up lame."

"Then we hop onto another one and keep going," said Penny. "You're twenty six, Dr. Cooper, you've got plenty of time to explore and discover."

"At twenty six Feynman was well on his way with his Feynman Diagrams." He slumped against the back of the couch. "I've got squat."

"The fact that you've figured out that things aren't going the way you want them is important." He snorted. "It's true," Penny continued. "Twenty six is your year for figuring out where the next step is going and taking it. It's exciting."

"Demoralizing."

"Adventurous."

"Tedious."

"Profound."

"Scary."

"Dr. Cooper, you've got nothing to be afraid of," Penny said soothingly.

"I'm a failure," he said in a tone she'd never heard.

"I've seen your work and compared to what's out there you're at the top. Sure, you've maybe worked on the wrong thing but that doesn't mean what you've learned is out the window." Silence. "If you quit you will be a failure, end of story. But you've got so much more to write." Pause. "I believe in you."

"Well, then, how could I possibly fail?" Sheldon replied drolly albeit with a sniffle.

"It's smartassy but positive so I'll take it," Penny chuckled. "Come on, let's get some food into you."

"It's Thursday."

"And?"

"It's pizza night," said Sheldon as he cleared his throat.

"So order some."

"It's after midnight. Franconi's is closed."

"Then order from somewhere else."

"Listen to you," Sheldon scoffed.

Penny thought for a moment.

"How about this?" she said. "New parameters: choose the best pizza offered at this time of the night."

"I really would like pizza," Sheldon mulled. He nodded his head. "That works."

"I've got a list of pizza joints ranked in the order of favorable ratings," said Penny as Sheldon picked up the phone. "Calzenetti's has an amazing 'kitchen sink'."

"We'll see," said Sheldon as the phone rang. "Hello? I'd like a pizza for delivery. ... Drat. Well, thanks anyway." He hung up. "They only offer pick up at this point."

"So?"

Sheldon cocked his head. "I suppose I could get a cab to pick it up."

"Let's go exploring," Penny said cheerily.

"Dubious words if I've ever heard any," the physicist said with a slight smirk.

"According to your itinerary from last year you went to the department of motor vehicles to get a driver's permit."

"A silly idea," he said with a frown.

"Feh."

"Besides I don't see why—"

"Leonard's keys are in the bowl."

Sheldon snorted. "Penny, I don't have a licensed driver with me."

"You've got me," she said seriously.

"You're not a person," he said evenly.

"Just because I don't have a body?"

"Because you're an artificial intelligence," he amended.

"Yeah, while you could be a robot for all you know," Penny said sarcastically.

"Missy is my twin," he tsked.

"So your mother says."

Sheldon pursed his lips. "So my birth records say."

"Could be faked."

"Pish."

"Okay, let's test this. You aware of Asimov's robot thing?"

"His Three Laws of Robotics? Of course."

"Have you ever harmed a human being, or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm?" asked Penny.

"No."

"And have you ever harmed yourself, or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would have been endangered?"

"Of course not," Sheldon said testily.

"I smell robot," Penny teased.

"Very funny," Sheldon grumped. "Besides, you forgot to mention the second law and I do not obey any orders given to me by human beings."

"That's right. Robots do what they've been programmed to do. Humans take chances."

Sheldon's mouth twitched. "Humans can also be arrested."

"They can also eat pizza," Penny said smoothly. "Trust me."

The physicist mulled it over before taking up his phone and venturing to his desk drawer for his wallet. He popped on his bluetooth earpiece and went to the door, pausing for a moment before grabbing Leonard's keys and exiting the apartment.

"And FYI I am not a robot," he said crisply as he locked the door.

"I know you're not, Dr. Cooper," Penny soothed. "Just making sure you know that too."

"Yes, I'm aware of my physical limitations and impending mortality," said Sheldon as he descended the stairs.

"You're also graceful, bipedal, can process organic materials. I mean, my goodness, you poop!" Penny said cheerily.

"Remind me to take my bathroom schedule off the phone," snorted Sheldon.

He exited the building and went to the parking lot and Leonard's car. After opening the trunk he pulled out a bungee cord. He then went to the passenger side and attached the cord around the headrest. Sheldon took out his phone and tucked it between the cord and the seat.

"A little lower please," said Penny. He obliged. "Perfect."

"It's only fitting you get to see my last moments before I die in a fiery crash," Sheldon muttered as he closed the door before getting in the driver's side. He went to start the car but his hand froze on the key. "This is stupid."

"It's an adventure," Penny amended.

Sheldon turned to face his phone. "You realize your advice is against the law."

"Yup," she said, emphasizing the 'P'.

"Obviously you're not a robot."

"Thanks for noticing," Penny said happily.

Sheldon started the car and slowly made his way off the lot and onto the roadway.

"So why didn't you learn how to drive?" Penny asked as they drove.

"I had more important things on my mind," mumbled Sheldon as he carefully changed lanes.

"Star Trek?"

"Amusing," he said before giving an annoyed gaspy laugh.

"Just trying to lighten you up. Turn left at the lights. Don't forget to check your mirrors."

"Oh, you better believe it, sister." He turned on his signal and stopped in the turn lane.

"Go into the intersection," Penny prompted.

"I'd rather not."

"You won't get hit," she promised.

Sheldon pursed his lips. "Statistically speaking—"

"But we're not so get in there."

"With my last breath I spit at thee," the physicist growled as he crept into the intersection.

"Now when you see a gap, turn," Penny said evenly. Slowly he began his turn. "Gun it!" Sheldon floored it and whirred around the corner into the lane and slammed on the breaks.

"Good Lord it's like driving with H.A.L.," Sheldon gasped.

"Hey, we made it," Penny said enthusiastically. "Now get going before we get honked at." The car began to move. "Richard Feynman drove, y'know. He had a van with his Feynman diagram doodlings all over it."

"'Doodlings'," pished Sheldon as he did his best to loosen the death grip he had on the steering wheel.

"He also nearly got into an accident."

"Proving my point. Driving is hazardous to one's health."

"He was ogling a pretty woman on the sidewalk," Penny chuckled.

"Well I never said physicists weren't susceptible to sudden bouts of insanity," Sheldon smirked.

Penny laughed. "Like driving for pizza at one in the morning?"

"You forgot with a smart phone for a co-pilot."

"Hey, I'm not just a phone."

"And I'm quite sure if I argued that with a police officer I'd find myself held on a seventy two hour psychiatric bond," Sheldon said drolly.

"Well I don't think you're crazy."

Suddenly a car stopped ahead to turn.

"Right!" yelled Penny and Sheldon swerved. "Now left! Straight!"

"Good Lord," Sheldon said shakily, his breaths coming in gasps.

"Hey, you're getting good at this," Penny said in a chipper voice.

"This better be one humdinger of a pizza," Sheldon mumbled.

XxX

"That was awesome!" Penny cheered through Sheldon's earpiece as the physicist mounted the stairs with his pizza and cola in hand.

"Suicidal is more like it," he countered.

"You can deny it but you're pleased."

"That I'm alive, yes."

"You're just going to be difficult aren't you?" Penny teased.

"I've been known to be stubborn from time to time," Sheldon said with a twitch of a smile.

He paused as he came to his door before continuing up the stairs to the roof. Once outside he swept a spot near the skylight with his foot before sitting down, making sure that his poncho was between him and the concrete. Sheldon then took out his phone and set it so its camera could look out over the city.

"Not that I'm complaining since it means you're off the couch but why the scene change, chum?" she asked.

"The smell of pizza would wake Leonard up and I'm not comfortable formulating an off the cuff lie," explained Sheldon as he took out his antibacterial cleanser and cleaned his hands.

"Fair enough. So how's the pizza?"

"I haven't taken a bite." He put the box on his lap and opened it. "The olive ratio looks good although the Italian sausage is ground finer than Franconi's." Penny cleared her 'throat'. "Still, I'm nothing if not adaptable." Sheldon took a slice of his small pizza and ate.

"You're a regular barbapapa."

"A what?"

"They're these cute little blobs that can change shape. 'Click a dee click, Barba-trick'."

"Where are they from?" asked Sheldon as he cracked open his soda.

"A children's book from the nineteen seventies. They made a cartoon series."

"Never saw it." He took a sip of pop before returning to his pizza.

"Yeah it aired before you were born." Here Penny snorted. "I keep forgetting you're a linear creature."

"And you're not?" scoffed Sheldon. "How much of your probability algorithm stems from linear predictions?"

"Based off your linear trajectory to be more precise."

"And what part of my pasty pallor and frequent sunscreen use made you decide that a sunrise at ocean side was within reason?"

"It was perfectly reasonable, Dr. Cooper. You lost a bet and you honored it," said Penny.

"A man's only as good as his word," said Sheldon before he started in on another slice.

"Still, you kept it with me which is pretty kewl," Penny said. "A lot of people don't bother with the little things with us AI's."

"You won fair and square, although I demand a rematch at some point."

"Anytime you want your butt kicked feel free to ask," Penny said amiably.

Sheldon snorted and finished the rest of his slice.

"You know it just blows me away looking at the sky," said Penny. "Countless stars, multigalaxies, multiverses if you ask some people—like yourself for instance. Just think, an infinite number of Dr. Coopers. Some that sing, some that dance—"

"I'd sooner believe that I existed as a sentient gob of cotton candy than a dancer," sniffed Sheldon.

"Don't limit yourself. You can do anything you want. Always have, always will."

"Rather a grand pronouncement."

"I've read all your journals. If I couldn't know who you are after that I wouldn't be worth much as an 'intelligence', artificial or otherwise," Penny said simply.

"You really think you know me?" he scoffed.

"Let's see. You have an extensive general knowledge in lots of things beyond physics such as biology, astronomy, mathematics, computers, electronics, engineering, history, geography, linguistics, football, comic books, Star Trek and science fiction, fantasy worlds, flags, role playing games, trains. You taught yourself Finnish and Klingon and know how to play the piano, recorder and theremin. You're afraid of bears, birds, the sight of blood, germs. You're horrible at telling lies, can't stand it when people argue and have a gross obsession with putting ground up bugs in Leonard's food. You have restraining orders from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan, Stan—"

"Do you think I'm crazy?" Sheldon suddenly asked.

"I think you're one of those beautiful mind genius guys," Penny said seriously.

"That doesn't answer the question."

"No. No, I don't."

Silence.

"You're the only one," Sheldon said. "Leonard, Howard, Raj, they've all called me crazy. My mother said I scared the bejesus out of her."

"What about your Meemaw?" Penny asked gently.

"She loves me regardless so she's not much of a judge," he replied. "I could be a greeter at Fuddruckers like Missy and she'd still be proud of me." Pause. "Neighborhood children tormented me; primary school was a series of wedgies and swirlies and mockery."

"But then you went to college," said Penny.

"Where I was treated as a curiosity and freak by my so-called peers because they were intimidated by my intellect."

"You don't intimidate me, Dr. Cooper," Penny said warmly. "In fact I think you're kewlie." He snorted. "What? Beyond all that opposable thumb human thing you've got going, you're multifaceted, funny, loyal, passionate, curious, and so damn creative it just blows my mind. The things you come up with are just amazing and when you plot things on your whiteboard you show me a part of the universe I never thought possible." Pause. "You really are a beautiful creature."

"Why do I feel like I've become the pet of an alien overlord?" chuckled Sheldon as he took another slice of pizza.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I suppose not. I do like getting my tummy rubbed," he said and took a bite.

"I'll make a note," laughed Penny.

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"I think I'm going to shift my area of research to dark matter," said Sheldon as Leonard drove them to work.

"Sounds exciting," said his roommate. "Any reason for the switch?"

"I'm a man led by my curiosity, Leonard."

"Yeah I'm full of curiosity too," said Leonard. "Like for instance why does my car smell like pizza?"

"You're imagining things," Sheldon said with a twitchy mouth.

His phone vibrated and he took it out of his pocket to see that he had a text:

Penny: liar liar :P

Sheldon turned to look out the window before he let out his smile.

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Big Bang Theory wiki: Sheldon Cooper