Genesis

oOo

Though he was already well-shielded from the rain, the arm around his shoulders pulled him closer.

Hiroki twitched irritably. "Do you mind not doing that in public?" Or anywhere at all, for that matter?

"Hey now", said Satou, smooth as ever. "I see you after over a year and this is how you choose to behave? It's good to see you, Kami-kun, but one might think that you're quite unhappy to see me."

That's because I am...? Was he really, though? After so long with only Akihiko

—but not only Akihiko, no—

and his own moody thoughts for company, was he really so unhappy to have found one more familiar face in the gray crowds of the city?

"People might stare, that's all", he muttered. If Satou heard this over the downpour, he did not show it. They walked on in silence for a few minutes, the slap of their wet shoes against the concrete and the crash of rain on Satou's umbrella wafting around them.

Where are we going?

"Where are we going, Satou-san?" Is this the way to his house? He couldn't remember.

"Where would you like to go?" Satou asked calmly.

"Anywhere, I don't really—so does that mean you've been steering me around without an actual destination this whole time?" Hiroki could feel his irritation mounting. It's raining, too. His socks were uncomfortably wet inside his shoes and he had no intention of catching a cold so close to his midterms.

I want my gloves.

"Of course not", Satou smiled in a way that said of course I was. "I was going to take you somewhere to eat, but we could have changed course if you had something in mind."

Stop saying things like that. This isn't a fucking date. I just ran into you and you dragged me along because it was raining and I didn't have an umbrella.

"I'm not hungry", he said at last, trying to smooth his temper away. It's been forever since I met with anyone except that asshole rabbit,

—and the alley cat—

so I might as well be thankful. "I don't really know why you were so happy to see me anyway. I met you all of once, and ages ago at that—it's a wonder you remember me at all—"

"You underestimate the impression that you are capable of leaving on people, Kami-kun."

Hiroki cast him a sideways look, wondering if the rain had distorted the man's words. "Didn't quite catch that."

Satou's chest seemed to heave with something halfway between a sigh and a snort. "It's not important. But you should know that, in any case, I remember every single person I've ever been with."

Unless you've slept with far less people than I was given to understand, I can't really believe that, Satou-san.

He had stopped noticing the gentle weight of the older man's arm around his shoulders.

"Why do you remember them?" he asked absently.

"Well, some of them come back", replied Satou, tilting his head ever so slightly as he gazed out ahead of him into the rain; being allowed to see this idiosyncrasy struck Hiroki as oddly intimate. "Hard to forget somebody you have regular sex with, yes? Others are people I know, so they end up staying in touch even if we don't hook up again. There are those whom I don't hope to see again, of course... those who leave immediately afterwards, even... but I never forget them either. And then there's a fourth kind..."

Hiroki waited for him to continue and cast Satou an inquiring look when he stayed silent. "A fourth kind?"

"Yeah", Satou said shortly; maybe it was the listless afternoon light, but the younger man thought he suddenly looked years older. "The kind that come for favors and repay me with sex. That's the one thing you can't run out of, you see."

"I do see." Hiroki's voice was quiet, his usual growl a mere simmer below the surface.

"That's a nice restaurant right there—not expensive, either, since I know you won't let me pay. Would you like to join me for lunch?"

"I would."

The pause that followed was brief but deafening.

"On second thought..."

"Yes, Kami-kun?" they were almost at the restaurant Satou had indicated; the loud yellow sign above the entrance read "Pandasan". It's a family restaurant, Hiroki thought. Why am I even surprised?

"We can split the bill later", he said, looking determinedly ahead and sighing to himself at the familiar heat crashing into his face. "For now, I'll pay."

The arm lifted from his shoulders to close the umbrella as they stepped under the awning. Still unwilling to look him in the eye, Hiroki thought he heard a smile in his glib voice nonetheless as Satou replied, "If there's any treating to be done, it's on me."

Ah...

"Why do you do it?" he burst out at last, unable to throw the question aside. "Why do you let them—?"

"Why do I let them sell themselves to me, you mean?" There was no hint of a smile on Satou's handsome face now. He's been expecting this question. ...Bastard. "It's not for my sake, as I'm sure you know. It's for theirs."

Leaving Hiroki to wonder about that, he pushed open the door to Pandasan.

oOo

And later, as the rain danced over their heads on their way to Satou's apartment, Hiroki was startled but not really surprised by the sharp turn they took into a deserted alley. Nor was he entirely surprised at the nature of the kiss; rough and impatient and unrestrained. Biting back a small groan of satisfaction—thanks to the midterms, it's been fucking weeks—lest the taller man misinterpret it, he allowed his slim fingers to grip the sleeves of Satou's jacket and leaned forward.

"We could just fuck here, you know", Satou murmured against the student's flushed cheek. "Right here in this alley and nobody would even notice."

If it weren't for this rain, I might even...

But you're wrong, Hiroki thought suddenly. There's always somebody. I've seen the somebody. I've met him.

When had he last seen the boy who called himself an alley cat?

"I can't afford to fall sick in this rain, sorry", he said, the words sharper than he'd intended them to be.

He almost expected Satou to say something egregious, something like I'll take responsibility for your sickness or You won't fall sick if you stick with me, but the man's lips simply curved against Hiroki's skin and lifted, leaving him a little colder than he had been in the stinging rain. "Have it your way."

Hiroki felt absurdly thankful.

You have no idea how much anger I've shut away since I first saw you this afternoon. I have no idea why.

It's just such a relief to be with somebody, anybody but Akihiko... But even so...

"It's good to see you too, Satou-san", he mumbled as he was pulled in for one last kiss before they left the alley, curtained off from the city while, perched on a trashcan in the shadows, a dark-haired boy observed them with thoughtful eyes.

Hiroki did not notice. His own eyes had been shut the whole time.

oOo

And when it was over, when Hiroki had gathered enough feeling in his limbs to prop himself up on his elbows, he whispered, "Satou-san?"

"Trouble sleeping?" Satou looked relaxed and a lot less like himself in the hesitant light of his bedside lamp. His eyes were closed, but he had evidently not been asleep either.

"Be honest", Hiroki said evenly, ignoring the question. You know as well as I do that I won't be here come morning. "Why do you remember every single person you've slept with?"

Green eyes opened and regarded the younger man with lazy amusement. "It's really very simple, Kamijou."

"Is it?" Hiroki muttered as a hand reached out and cupped his chin, the thumb sliding over his bottom lip with the same fiercely uncomfortable tenderness that he had come to associate with everything that Satou ever did. He shivered at the contact—at that maddeningly out-of-place intimacy he would never really get used to—and was given another one of those unreadable smiles.

"Yes. I've loved every single one of them."