It was a brand new day on the sunny country of Hawaii. The Rod Man slept peacefully with his Mindslave Rose, seagulls squacked loudly outside the window, and Hawaiiwan Islanders chanted tribal stuff with picket signs in the lobby of their Resort. They desired their leader. Marik rubbed his icky gross eye boogers from his eye and began to scream at the noise. Even though their room was on the tip top floor he could hear those pesky natives all the way from his tower. It was time to cut the bullshit. Rodder jumped out of his comfortable place to take care of the problem. Permanently. Instead of taking the stairs or the elevator to get to the bottom Marik jumped out of the window. The cracking sound of his head hitting the pavement resounded across the land and the music suddenly stopped.
Eventually The Rod woke up. He turned his head to lovingly caress his Mindslave rose as he always did but he felt no mindslave flesh. His eyes opened faster than Bakura opening the door to McDonalds and he realized that he was in a hospital. Of course. The foolish Hawaiian natives had tried to murder him. "I will destroy any vermin in my path who DARES SEPERATE A MAN AND HIS MINDSLAVE!" he screamed and ripped off the needle thing connected to the water stuff in his arm. He would have his revenger. But then the nurse came rushing in after hearing the horrible scream. Marik pointed his rod accusingly. "WHERE IS MY MINDSLAVE ROSE?" He demanded.
"Listen, I understand that all of this is very hard for you...but taking your life is never the answer. You have so much to live for, Marik. Things may be difficult right now but I promise you it gets better." The nurse said in his kind religious voice, Jesus must have spoken to him he was just too wise for his years. "Who the fuck are you and why do you know my name" Rod Guy was on the run for numerous authorities and if he had to kill this beautiful nurse to save his behind then it was a sacrifice that had to be made. "I'm your friend, Aster." Marik did not remember any such dude and got up from his hospital bed to destroy the intruder. "WOAH EASY THERE PAL THE ANGELS ARE WATCHING" Aster said and then it all started coming back to him. He felt a little woozy and sat down criss cross apple sauce on the floor. Rod wished he could forget Aster Pheonix but even though he had a friend up in Heaven, his prayers had not been answered.
But yeah, Aster was here on this cool Hawaiian Island and looking so nice in the fluorescent lighting of the hospital room. There was a dying person on the bed opposite his which made Marik feel a little bit better about being without his Mindslave Rose. He really loved seeing others suffer.
"Listen here Aster I really do not have time to talk. I need to get out of here and get my revenge. The Hawaiian Natives have tried to take my life and now they are probably going to take another. My Mindslave Rose. I need to save him." Marik said very longly and tears streamed down his face. Aster nodded his head in understanding and put his hand on his shoulder. The touch went straight to Marik's rod. "You need to pace yourself, Rod Guy. Right now you are very hurt and you don't want to damage your body any further, and also anyone else's body. Every life is valuable." Aster said all wise and stuff. He was truly an angel. Marik shoved Aster's hand off of him, it was clear what was going on here, and he narrowed his stuff. "Don't you dare try to come on to me Aster Pheonix I will have you know I am a Married Man and will not stand for this. What would my Mindslave think!" he screamed. Uh oh. "NOW UNHAND ME FROM THESE CONFINES BEFORE I UNLEASH THE REAL FURY!" he screamed but louder this time and lifted one of his rod's up high.
Aster started to cry and the water streamed down from his face faster than has ever been seen before. "Please don't. I did not intend for my actions to come across as if I were flirting with you. I swear, that isn't what I meant at all. I'm already in a relationship, Rod Man. That's why I'm here." Aster Pheonix looks sadly over to the other hospital bed where a goth looking guy was sleeping. "Zane needed medical attention." Marik rolled his stuff. It seemed like the sexy nurse really was telling the truth. "Whatever, shut the fuck up and give me some medkits to take with me on my journey. I'm fucking fine."
Aster was kind of frightened of facing the rod's wrath, it was still raised up super high and its looming threat made him feel uncomfortable. "I'll get you what you need." Pheonix was finally being agreeable and left the room to get him his to-go adventure kit. Marik jumped out of the hospital window but released his parachute so he didn't go splat this time around.
He landed on the ground gracefully and it was time to go. He began to run as fast as he could which was around 100 mph to get back to his honeymoon resort. He ran through the door and greeted Adam Sandler, who was reading a book in the lobby. It was only a brief greeting because right now his Mindslave was his priority. He loved him. Up the stairs he ran, stomping on many smaller Hawaiians as he went. He opened the door but Bakura was not in the bed and the window was open and the curtains were blowing in the wind. Marik knew this would happen. He dropped to his knees and screamed. First the Hawaiian Natives tried to murder him, and now they have stolen from him his most valuable treasure. He did not have time to cry, he had a job to do. He threw down his smoke bomb and in an instant he was gone. Then he appeared outside of the hotel and he began looking around furiously for any Native Traces. There were two pairs of footprints on the ground in the sand because this was Hawaii after all. He leaned down and sniffed the ground. "My Mindslave!" he gasped. He recognized his scent. He was on his way.
Rod kept his nose close to the ground in order to follow his Rose as accurately as humanly possible. Everything about Marik was powerful. Thanks to the powers bestowed upon him by the mill. rod it granted him super strength in aspects beyond your wildest dreams. The tracks lead all the way to a mystery cavern and by the time Rod made his arrival the day had closed. He narrowed outside of there and took out his rod which shot out a brilliant beam of light that lit up his path. He entered the shadowy cave with only a rod as his comapanion. Marik had nothing left to lose. He walked and walked and walked until... "Hello, duelist scum." Marik widened again at the sound of that filthy insect. "DOCTOR SETO KAIBA!?" Marik screamed. The swine had returned, and the Doctor smirked. Behind him was an army.
"It's been a while, Rod Guy. Tell me, how have you been doing? I've been doing great, my plan is going 100% according to plan. All of the foolish Hawaiian Natives are able and at my command. You're next." he said in the most evil way you could possibly imagine. "Enough with the bullshit Doctor. Where have you taken my mindslave? You know he is all I care about" Marik said cautiously, very aware of the angry looking army of natives behind him. They looked ready to attack at any given moment, just like any army is. End war. Doctor Seto Kaiba just laughed evilly mwahaha. "As if I would tell you just like that, you insolent scum. If you should ever hope to find your precious mindslave then you will have to defeat my army, first." he laughed the sentence even louder and the Hawaiians raised their pitchforks and guns. Marik gasped. It was one rod against the world.
With the intensity and might of 1000 mindslave minions he struck the first enemy down with laser beams shooting from his rod pew pew pew. Even though he was just a single man, his muscle was more than these fucking idiots bargained for. Fear was in their eyes and Marik relished in it. "It's not too late to back down, Rod Man." The Doctor was above him now, sitting on a throne made of diamonds. There was only one light and it was coming from his Rod, and because of that the hostile attackers pushed him back. They were all ganging up on him. It must have been revenge for Ekelakawaka. There could be no other reason.
The footing beneath Marik gave way and he fell down into a deep pit, but the hole closed up quickly. Rod heard crunchy sounds coming from beside him that sounded like his Rose biting down into a hard shell taco. "MY ROSE!?" He flopped towards the noise like a beached whale and kinda sounded like one too. "Oh my god can you shut up" That was definitely his beautiful Mindslave Rose without question. No one sounded as cute as him when he was annoyed. Rod Man had fallen into a trap door. The Doctor had not planned for this.
But right now the only thing on his mind was his mindslave, he had found him at long last. It had been years. He reached out to touch his beautiful skin and that confirmed it. "I saved you!" he screamed and began to cry. Bakura rolled his eyes and said "Ewww." because Marik was getting his gross Rod tears all over his beautiful body. He shoved him off. "Mindslave rose we need to get you out of here and out of Hawaii itself. I knew the natives could not be trusted." he said after the tears had ceased. "Where am I?" Bakura asked confused. Marik laughed happily. Once a Mindslave always a Mindslave they always say. Some things never change. He kissed him because he just couldn't help it he looked too beautiful in the fluorescent lighting of the cave and Bakura screamed. "Ok seriously Mindslave let's get out of here." he instructed and began getting rope from hid rod storage.
He threw it and it hit the top with a happy little tinkle sound. Rod and Rose changed out of their clothes real quick into their old spy suits. There was a huge patch over where Marik's rod part had been ripped to stick it in the ring. That was a fun time, but the cost had been too great. Stealing the gem for the blasted Doctor was Marik's one single regret in his whole life. Everything else he had done was completely necessary. Bakura the Rose climbed up on top of his Gardener's back because there was no way he was going to climb all the way up there on the ladder. That was way too much work. Rod Man climbed quietly like a spider on the wall even though he carried the extra weight of Bakura. Don't forget, Marik is a strong man. He reached the top and shoved off the hole cover stuff and popped his head out. What greeted him was 20 million islander residents seeking blood.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHh!" Rod Man screamed and hoisted himself and Bakura out and made a run for the cave entrance. He outstreched his rod to show him the right direction to go in. It never failed him. "Can we stop for some McDonalds" Bakura asked and Rod Man just kept screaming. After a long tiring marathon he finally escaped. The morning rays shined upon him, and in the middle of them was Adam Sandler floating down from above like an angel. "Stop right there" Adam karate kicked Marik backwards. "Adam...?" Marik questioned, looking up at Adam Sandler with tears in his eyes. He had been double crossed again.
Adam Sandler looked down at him like he was an puny insect and laughed evilly. "Yes it's true, I never cared for you at all...Rod Guy." he said super evilly. Marik was in complete shock at how this could happen. "But...But why?! I trusted you! And you-" "Have been working for Doctor Seto Kaiba the whole time." Adam finished for him and Marik gasped. "Adam...you're my idol...I love you." Marik said and tears began to fall, he just couldn't help feeling like this. His heart was truly breaking, this was without a doubt the worst moment in his life by far. Adam Sandler had betrayed him. "Me and the Doctor have only one goal. Together, working with the gem we will rid the world of all duelists to create our utopia, a world that is truly beautiful. And that means we will destroy anyone in our path who dares defy us. And that includes you and your rose, Marik." Adam said longly and Bakura fell asleep because he got bored. Rod Bod's fists shook with rage and he looked down at the tears that had fallen. "I can't let you do that, Adam." he whispered into the night. "I can't let you destroy the world when there is still good left in it and people worth fighting for!" he said but louder and glanced at Bakura.
"There's nothing in this world but filth as far as the eye can see, Marik. The only way to make the world a better place is to first clean up the mess our predecessors have made. Have you ever squashed an insect? I guarantee you have. That's just what we're doing, we're exterminating pests. If you would just open your eyes to the truth then maybe our Doctor would consider allowing you into our organization." Rod Bob raised his head to the heavens confidently. "Never." Rod hissed and spit at Adam's face. Eww. Adam made a grossed out looking expression and took out a hanky and wiped it off. "The little value your life held is gone. There's no going back from that, Marik. People like you need to be taught that there are consequences to insubordination." Adam Sandler spoke calmly. He never loses his cool. "SHUT THE FUCK UP ADAM SANDLER YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A DISGRACE!" Marik was screaming again just like usual.
Adam Sandler took out his wizard wand and hat at the same time as Marik raised his rod and beams were shooting out of both of them. Adam's magic beam was red because it was the color of evil which that man certainly was and Marik's beam was purple because that was his fav. The war waging between their cool rods lasted awhile and it seemed like their powers were equal. Adam cheated and drank a potion to make him stronger and then his beam was almost at the end of Rod Man's. All hope seemed to be lost.
"You say that we're the Mindslaves...but Marik... I'm going to let you in on a little secret." Adam Sandler said and moved closer to Marik so he could hear his very important words properly. "You were the mindslave all along."
Marik screamed and shoved Adam's wand out of his hand and grabbed ahold of his throat and began to strangle him. Adam Sandler made gargled sounds and Marik got some earplugs but then started bashing his head into the ground many many many times. Eventually, he grew silent but Rod Job kept going. Bakura woke up and clapped his hands in glee! "YAY!" That rose said. The gore was plentiful.
Blood splattered across the ground and Adam's organs soon followed. Marik's clothes were covered with carnage and that was just the way he liked it. He continued bashing his skull in and then switched to kicking him. More blood spilled and the scent of copper was so pungent it was all that Marik could smell. Adam's life had long slipped, but Roddy would not stop the massacre. Soon, he dropped the cold corpse to the ground with a thud. The job was done. He glared bitterly at the glazed face of Adam Sandler, the actor's unseeing eyes forever contorted with fear.
Marik closed his eyes, resigned to what he had done and turned to face Bakura. "Oh my god I love it!" Bakura said and did a lil clap once more. Marik laughed and hugged his mindslave rose. "Wow I'm sure fucking glad that's over!" he said and started walking away with his Rose by the hip. He turned around one last time to look at Adam.
"See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya mindslave." he said to him and then kept walking ahead. He pulled out his night vision goggles from his spy storage that he kept handy at all times and found the entrance to the cave. "Come on, Rose! I can smell the ocean!" he screamed but this time not of fear but true bliss.
With the smell of the ocean temporarily overpowering the memory of bloodlust, it was easy to forget Adam's words, but a storm was brewing on the horizon— one not so easily forgotten.