Bang bang bang! The door was being knocked on super hard by the one and the only, Aster Pheonix. He is a man of his word (and also the word of God, praise him) and came right over to the Ishtar Household as fast as he could. When a friend is in need Aster is speeding through, barelling down the road, to get to the trouble and to eleminate it. Marik was too busy to open the door for Aster because his little mindslave rose was having some contractions and writhing around in pain from them too. Aster open the door himself when he heared the screams from Bakura, but he rushed in too fast and slipped in Mindslave Roses's broken water. The worry on Aster's face was gone in an instant and replaced with disgust.
"ASTER YOU FUCKING BAFFOON YOU ARE AS NIMBLE AS A SNAIL" Marik screamed even though Aster got there in like 5 mins tops. "Sorry." Aster said and bowed before Marik like the mindslave he was, then he got up off the floor and dusted the wet off of him. "Help me" Bakura said. He was lying on the floor and contracting and stuff, which obviously was signifying the onset of labor. Bakura was too lazy to get up out of the wet pool of his broken water so he just kinda flopped around in it like a fish.
"What seems to be the problem here" Aster questioned the Rod Man, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. What could be amiss? Bakura screamed super loud so Marik got 2 pairs of earplugs for himself and Aster.
"CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING BEFORE YOUR OWN VERY EYES? MY ROSE IS IN THE PROCESS OF LABOR YOU FOOL" Rod Bod screamed because of the earplugs and didn't realize how loud his booming voice was. Every day he got stronger. "I see. Thankfully, anything is possible through the will of God."
Aster began digging through his doctor med kit and pulled out a doctor necklace thing and put it to Bakura's tummy. "The birthing will begin soon, I can hear them crying." he explained to Marik who gasped. Life was so beautiful, soon there would be another mindslave who would become heir to the Ishtar name. A single tear slid down his cheek because he was so excited to welcome the child to this world.
Baby Gramps screamed and cried from his cage on wheels, trying to escape. Marik rolled the rods in his eyes and went back to his birthing mindslave. "Marik, please get me my stuff. Bakura's cervix is dilating." Aster said very seriously. Marik widened once more and did as he was told, but don't worry he was no mindslave.
In just one second flat Bakura's cervix was as wide as Marik's whole body. If you didn't know by now, Marik was VERY wide and would not stop growing anytime soon. Right at that moment Marik widened again, he is unstoppable. "EEK!" Bakura said as he kept widening. His little thing hurt so bad. You don't know true pain until your small peen widens its cervix to make room for the baby.
"Geez louise!" Aster exclaimed with a gasp, the head was already on it's way out of the little thing! This was not something you see every day. Live each moment as if it were a treasure, remember, you never know when it will be your last.
The new Ishtar baby was crying inside of Mindslave's little thing but it was muffled by the wee's icky inside skin. So nasty. Aster Pheonix started to cry so much at that beautiful miracle emerging before him right here, right now. He was certain that the two thiefs would make excellent fathers.
With a doctorly heave he pushed the baby out of Bakura's pe and it plopped on the floor... but wait... there's more... Plop! Another baby came out, and another, and another! They kept coming out and it was seemingly endless until Bakura put his hand over the tip top of his head (you know which one) and it was over. Four babies were birthed from Bakura on this day, which was in fact Mother's day. It was truly destiny.
"Rose! Are you alright?" Marik rushed to be by his Mindslave's side. Bakura looked over at Roddy with sweat coming out through every hole in his body and then puked on him and fell asleep. His little body was so exhausted, four little children! "God has definitely blessed you two and your family. They are all happy, healthy children. Congratulations!" Aster said with a bow and a smile and then he was gone.
The babies crawled around the floor, confused and lost. Marik picked up the one that looked cutest and held her in his arms, smiling. "You look like you have so much hope in your eyes, little one. And that's what I'll call you...Hope." Hope opened her eyes and looked at her father for the first time and screamed. It was a moment that dad would remember for years to come. Another baby was crying already and Marik thought of a name for that one too. "Destiny!" he decided with a loud squawk, dropping Hope to the ground so he could flap his arms. He had always thought Destiny was a good name for a girl.
More children screamed in the distance, the last two remaining Mindslave Kin were on the run already. Rod Stick caught up to them because they were in the living room tying to escape and once he saw them he narrowed. They were by for the grossest of the bunch.
Rod Stick kicked the two ugly babies into a cage that he had set up ready for their arrival. Around two hours ago he had gone to Petsmart and chosen the biggest, baddest looking cage they had. He was such a good father, he had even gotten a hamster wheel for them to spin around on to their small frail hearts content. Inside of their, they cried instantly.
One of the babies looked like such a nerd, the kind of baby you would shove into a locker in high school if babies went to high school that is. "You... will be called Mind." Marik said and did the baby lion Simba head mark thing on it. He didn't have any paint so he used Mindslave Flesh to do the job. Eww, though, now Roddy touched the nasty kid so he shook off his hand. He narrowed at the last remaining Ishtar, the runt of the litter. "I shall call you Slave." He said, smiling proudly. The gang was all here.
Being a new dad was a lot of hard work so he abandoned those babies as soon as he could and went to go hang with his bros, aka the most trusted mindslaves. Before he could get out the door though Aster Pheonix had grabbed him by his muscular collar, even his clothes are muscular by the way, and pulled him back. "Not so fast!" Aster said and tippity taped his toe on the floor. What did that Rod Man think he was doing? Child abuse is really uncool.
"Um. Leaving?" Roddy said. He didn't see the problem. "Oh. I see. I suppose to go get some child food to feed the babies? I'm fairly certain that Bakura does not have the ability to produce milk from his nipples so breast feeding is out of the question" Aster said. "Shit, were we supposed to be feeding them?" Rod stick screamed, suddenly remembering how skinny Baby Gramps had gotten. His bones were all jutting out and stuff last time he saw him. It was so unbelievably nasty. Marik had kind of assumed that it was just his granpatherly appearance that made him so withered but apparently not. Whatever, Marik opened the door and slammed it in Asters face.
That Rod guy hopped on his motorcycle and rode away into the night to the place he needed to be most: The Pub. Rod Bod had no idea how exhausting it was to be a parent, he was already pooped out. "It's the bar. How can we take your order" the bartender said as Marik sat down at the bar looking pretty glum. "Just get me a scotch" Roddy said all sad. He had given up drinking for a while to raise a family, but he longed for the numbing and pleasure of his senses that he could get only from alcohol. A single tear slid down his cheek. What was he going to do?
"Hey, what seems to be the matter, boy?" Rod widened as he recognized the voice. He looked to the seat next to him which was empty before he sat down but it now contained the forlorn spirit of Yugi's Grandpa. "God damn it you Grandpo! I just wanted to get some peace and quiet for one fucking night!" Marik screamed, throwing his fist down onto the bar and it shattered instantly. The power. That Grandpa just smiled. "It seems to me like you are having some problems. Maybe I can help you." Rod stroked his rod in melancholy. "I doubt it." he said all grossly. "To be honest, I'm...I'm scared Grandpa." The disgusting old man nodded and ordered a margarita.
It took a while for the Bartender to return with the desired liquids and right when he did Marik snatched it from his puny Mindslave fingers and guzzled it in one sip. "I DESIRE MORE!" He pounded his fist into the remaining rubble of the bar, breaking it down even more than it already was. The entire establishment shook at his might. The bartender trembled, but not because of the building wobbling, but out of fear. It was the usual effect Rod Man had on the Mindslaves surrounding him.
Either submit or face the consequences they always say. And submit that bartender did, and returned at once with 10 whoel tequila, which was not Marik's order at all but Roddy let this one slide. He desired the sweet release from his troubles, the release that only those alcohols could provide for him. It had been far too long.
Gramp had been silent for a long while, and let the Rod swallow down the many tequila. Marik Ishtar, welder of the rod, was a literal giant, so it took lots and lots of beverages to get him even a little bit buzzed. After the 10th tequila he started to feel it and his rod leaked. MmMHmM.
"Instead of drowning out the issues that you have with alchohol, maybe you should seek help in other places." Big gramps said wisely, but Marik did not listen and jumped over the counter. "Hey you can't do that-" The bartender started to say but Marik was already smashing the beer bottles open with his bear fists and then pouring them into his mouth. More and more he drank, cleaning out the bar of every single alchohol imaginable instantly. They went entirely bankrupt that night because Rod Man never paid for anything, instead getting his way with brute force. Policemen arrived at the scene of the crime and Marik took one of the broken bottles and slung it at his head, shattering his skull on impact. Bye, policeman Jim.
"Oh my God!" The bartender screamed in horror. The bar that he had worked so hard to keep going his whole life was in shambles, all thanks to the Rod Man. "MYAAAAAAGH!" he screeched and raised his rod high. The people fled the sight as the helicopters vroom vroomed up ahead. They had him surrounded. "We have you surrounded!" the government called from up above, they had finally caught up the Rod Man. But not for long. The alcohol was coursing through his veins and he felt even more powerful than ever before.
He ran through the streets, slaughtering whoever stood in his path, despite the desperate pleas from Yugi's Grandpa. "PLEASE, STOP!" a guy named Rick cried as his limbs were detatched from his arm. He had a wife and two kids and he would never see them again. "I WILL NOT BE CONTAINED ANY FURTHER!" Rod Bod screamed and nobody knew what he meant. He was completely unhinged.
Finally the old gramps managed to get The Rod into his car and drive away from the scene of crime. He was on old spirit know and he had powers that were beyond your wildest dreams. Not just anyone could contain the Rod. You had to be either special, or his Mindslave Rose. "You have a problem, Marik." The spirit said wisely and began driving them back to the Rod Job's apartment. Marik didn't respond because now he was just completely wasted. He opened his mouth hole to talk but only puke came out of his huge body. There was so much that it filled up the car instantly, pouring out the windows and opening the door so he flew out and landed on the high way. "Remember, Marik! Remember!" The grandpa called after him as he kept driving away.
Roddy wandered the streets, stumbling as taquila began to make its leave from his muscular body. It left from every hole, his eyes, his mouth, his ears, his noses, the only one exempt was his roddy butthole because it hadnt made it that far yet. His rod hole leaked too but it was a different kind of fluid coming out of there.
Somehow he made it home but fucking shit he didn't have any keys on him. His vision was too blurry to fumble in his pockets to check but he assumed there weren't any but who knows. He powered up his fist by whirling it around super quick and then boom! It connected with the window and glass went flying everywhere.
"MEEWWAGH" Marik cried out into the house but no one answered him. "MWEEYAAAGH!" He said one more time, and then began wandering the hallways, searching for his Rose. When he reached the kitchen, his goals changed. Nothing could quench his thirst, and the tequil was still seeping out of his cool holes but he still longed for more. In a jiffy, Rod Man dropped to his knees and smashed open the fridge and took out every beer and swigged em down.
Power streamed through his very soul, so much of it that it overtook his completely and he started punching everything in sight. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" A frightened lady in her cute pj's cried, she was very frightened. "IT IS MY HOUSE NOW!" Marik said, and puked beer on her. She liquified instantly. Everything about Marik was powerful, and so of course his vomit was acidic.
He raised his arms high in the air and yodeled his victory cry. He had won, for now. With renewed vigor from the alcohol he broke through the window of the ladie's cute car and jacked it, driving all the way home. Drinking while driving is never a good idea, though. He crushed several civilians over his massive Wheels and sped at least 100 mph over the speed limit. Nothing could stop him. He finally made it back to his quaint little home, covered in blood and carnage as usual. "Honey I'm home!" he laughed, back to his good ol Rod Guy self.
The alcohol had left his body for now, but it would always be back. Addiction is a powerful thing. Bakura awoke from his slumber and saw peed a little on Roddy and laughed. The horrible after effects of birth seemed to have ended for his Rose as well. As their children screamed from their cage, Darkness loomed just outside their doors, it's best never to fall into false security— even rod men have their weaknesses.