I'm surprised you guys lasted this long…. Lmao! HERE YOU Go! Happy faces now? Love me? Oh yes you do!
Quinn Fabray
'No One Gets Left Behind'
It hurts like never before. The pain is only all too real. Why won't it go away? The tears keep falling. I can't breathe. Images flash before my eyes but I can't recognize any of it. The stinging burns like a trail of lava. Time is slow. I'm falling….. Where am I going?
The gym doors open. Dark neon lights flitter across the packed room. I don't remember what all of this is supposed to mean. Everything has changed. I brush by dozens of bodies in a flash. The heavy bass of the music is thudding through my chest. It's as if it's my own personal defibrillator trying to resuscitate me back to life. But it doesn't matter. I know I'm still alive. The pain is a reminder.
The motions go on like a blur. Faces are nameless. The waves are crashing in like there is no tomorrow. Mindlessly I stumble out through a set of doors and out into darkness once again. Another hallway. Where am I? Lockers rush by my line of vision. There is nothing but darkness but somehow I know where to go. My safe haven.
A strong pressure in my stomach blows. Contents spew from the back of my throat and into a toilet. How did I get here? My fingers grasp onto the edge of the toilet. Nothing but air.
Once again I'm surrounded by darkness. There are more lockers blurring by. Why has she done this? Finally the door opens after about a minute of fiddling around it. I'm drenched in more darkness but I'm safe. I throw myself on the nearest bench. My body is shaking uncontrollably, there's no stopping it.
Help!
I'm drowning!
More tears are flowing down my face. I can feel the slick heated moisture as it tumbles down from my broken heart. I hunch over. My cries are becoming erratic and loud. I have never felt this amount of pain before. Not even when I broke my leg five years ago. This is something entirely new. It fucking hurts like hell.
Why?
My fingers grip the edge of the bench as my cries consume the silence. What am I doing? All the emotions I had were slipping from my grasp. What am I doing? I could silently hear the voices in my head mock me. 'Where's your control now?'
But really where is it?
Rachel is swirling around in my head. I know that maybe somewhere deep down, I deserve this. After all that I've done to that poor girl, it's about time she does me in. And can you believe it, this hurts much worse than when she put me in the hospital. A small smile cracks through my breakdown. Who knew that this would be it for me? And by Rachel Berry no less….. Just one big circle.
Oh, the irony! My eyes slam shut as another wrack of tears sends my body rattling. Rachel's words echo through my mind. 'Yeah, you may be the most popular girl in the school, and head cheerleader, but I've had something that you've never had. And that's love. At least I know how to love somebody and have that love returned. You can call me pathetic, and you can feel sorry for me, but it's me that feels sorry for you.She was right all along, only this time I'm the pathetic one. Of course I would finally fall in love. And it had to be with her. Rachel Berry. My first love…
My forehead presses into my knees. I'm praying for dear life. The pain won't stop. I feel like someone has just stomped on me like a crumbled pop can. This is my punishment. This is my pain. It's payback.
What a bitch!
The pain swept through me like a hurricane. The louder I screamed the more I continued falling. I'm drowning. She doesn't want to save me. She doesn't want me. She doesn't love me.
What more could I have done?
The thoughts rush in. I can't make out half the things I want to see. There are so many things I want to say. Why didn't she just let me finish? Why couldn't she just listen? Why couldn't she see me? I look up. And there she is, right before me like an apparition. She looks exactly the same way as when I left. The only difference is that she looks exactly how I feel.
The look in her eyes is heart breaking. It's exactly the way I imagine her looking like. I try not to blink to keep this stunning image with me. But it's no use. You can't stop the inevitable. And the harder that you try to hold on, the harder it is to let go. With that one look, I convey to Rachel everything that I'm feeling. Please, just hear me! Times up.I blink. My eyes stay closed. Once again I unravel. She's gone.
I'm drowning. And no one is here to save me.
Something warm quietly brushes across the edge of my cheek. What is that? My head lifts up. My eyes snap open. Big brown eyes are staring at me like a bright full moon. I blink several times to wash away the tears from my eyes. Is this real?
"Rachel?" I croak out in a low whisper.
The girl in question is kneeling before me, eyes swollen, and mascara running down her hauntingly beautiful face. I don't really believe it. Before I can say another word she lifts up a small napkin. My eyes travel from her then to the napkin. She doesn't say a word. Instead she brings the napkin to the edge of my face and wipes away the tears.
I stare into her face, narrowing my eyes. Is this real?
She wipes around the edge of my jaw then swoops up underneath my left eye. Her movements are cautious yet gentle. Just like feather light touches. I can feel her warm breath splash across my face. Her scent is intoxicating. But this isn't right is it? She's not really here.
I pull back from her touch. Her eyes lock with mine. Once again I'm drowning, only this time it's in a sea of chocolate. This is torture even for me. And selfishly I want to take it all in and cherish every fucking second I have left.
"Just say it." I whisper to the heart of darkness.
Rachel eyes me with confusion. I let out a low shaky breath and close my eyes again. The pain is seeping in and out of me like a blistering wound.
"Say what?" I hear her reply with a light airy tone.
"Just say what you want to say and be done with it. I can't stand this. So please, just get it over with because if you don't I'm afraid I might die." I whimper.
There's a small waft of warm air that splashes across my face. She's close again. I can practically feel the heat radiating off of her. My lungs break for air, waiting for the band-aid to be ripped off. Rachel's fingers lightly play with the wet napkin in her hands. She seems restless and contemplative. I'm trying to hold on for dear life.
Rachel lowers her head into my lap. I feel the pressure as soon as she makes contact. Suddenly her body starts wracking with tears. I open my eyes and look down in shock. I can feel her body shaking and rumbling beneath me. My jaw falls open aimlessly. I can feel her. Another round of tears hit my face. This couldn't be real. Could it?
The crying girl below me shifts, bringing her arms around my waist. She's holding onto me like never before. The pace in my heart starts racing. My breathing picks up. I'm blinking faster now. She's bringing me back. My fingers reach down into the mass of dark hair before me. It's soft to the touch, yet another reminder of this shocking reality. She smells like strawberries and lavender. I close my eyes, inhaling her. The blood in my system is flowing. Breathing is easy.
We are both trekking out from the darkness. My world was being lit up piece by piece. Rachel looks up. I'm completely blown away by the brightness in her eyes. It's breathtaking. I'm once again speechless. There was no more running. We had finally come to the end.
Claps of thunder rattled outside. Rain splattered down against the windows. I blinked once again. She was still here. And she wasn't going away.
"You're real aren't you?" I whispered.
The small diva lets out a soft snort that awakens my soul. And suddenly I'm on fire. Small fingers brush against my forehead, removing the small hairs from my face. Her touch ignites me. I'm still alive. And she is here. She is with me. I can feel the tears break out within me. I can't help it. My arms quickly reach out for her. Her body melds into me as I wrap my arms around her in a tight embrace. My fingers claw into her back desperately holding onto her like a life jacket. Her arms wrap around me. I'm finally home.
Their lips press against each other in a slow and gentle manner. Rachel cries out both in joy and pleasure as Quinn gently lifts her up onto the edge of a large desk. The blonde pulls back, gazing into a haze of brown. Once again she is completely speechless. A few tears fall from her face. Rachel immediately wipes them with the edge of her thumb.
"I love you." Rachel whispers to the teary eyed blonde.
"I love you too." Quinn reiterates with a heavy tone.
This time the tears fall from Rachel as she leans her forehead against the blonde, breathing her in. The moment is pure, raw, and intimate. It's sacred and unlike anything she has ever experienced. Finn didn't compare, because this, was something real. It made her pulse race with madness, made her skin burn to the touch, and lit her soul on fire. At nights it drove her crazy and fueled her days. What started off as misunderstanding and hate had turned into something that was completely unexpected and surprising. It was beautiful and caught her off guard.
The complicated events that unfolded, the drama they endured, had all led up to this moment. They were still breathing, still alive. They didn't need anything else. Words were no longer necessary.
Quinn leans in and brushes her lips against Rachel's. The kiss is full of understanding, trust, and love. Rachel closes her eyes. She can feel herself drifting away into the high that is Quinn Fabray. Soft finger tips brush down against her neck, leaving burn marks. The touches are intoxicating and feel like sweet poison. Rachel leans back on the desk, breaking the kiss. She inhales greedily before scooting herself back. The blonde quickly gets the message and with the help of the other girl gets up. Quinn settles on top of her. Dozens of papers hit the floor. Lips meet once again. And this time, there was no stopping.
Loud pants echoed through the room. Fingernails dug into the back of pale flesh. A loud piercing cry rattled the walls of the large office. Pale fingers worked harder and faster. Rachel was coming undone. Her face was red with heat, sweat dribbling down the side of her face. Quinn trails down Rachel's neck with soft kisses.
Rachel shifts her thigh and Quinn breaks. Hazel eyes meet brown. And together it's enough. They both release and let go, relinquishing to each other. They cry out in both joy and pleasure all while never breaking eye contact. It's real.
They held each other, both staring up at the office ceiling in blissful peace. Small cracks of moonlight break through the blinds of the window, illuminating the room. Hazel eyes glance over at the beautiful girl by her side. Rachel Berry was completely naked, not just physically, but fully. She could see it in her eyes. She could feel it in her heart. Rachel looks over. A small smile crosses her face. There was nothing more beautiful than this.
"What?" Rachel asked in a low whisper.
Quinn smirked and tossed the girl a knowing look. "Do you realize where we are?" she asked.
Rachel looked around a bit confused. Her eyes caught on to the multiple trophies and ribbons around the room. Suddenly her eyes widen, the realization hitting her with full force. She shook her head.
"No way…" she started off.
Quinn breaks out with a giggle. "Yes."
A light blush has brushed across Rachel's cheeks. "This can't-" she pauses. "Words cannot express what I'm feeling right now."
"It's weird right?" The blonde asked, now starting to sober up.
"We just made love in Sue Sylvester's office." Rachel stated.
They both look around then both meet each other's gaze. A second later they both break out. Rachel and Quinn are laughing hysterically like there is no tomorrow. They laugh until their bodies hurt. Rachel wraps her arms around the blonde, never wanting to let go.
A fresh breeze hits their face as Rachel and Quinn walk out the door of McKinley high, hand in hand. The large smiles across their faces light up the world like a big Christmas tree. From up above the moon happily smiled down at its victory.
As they walked down the steps of the school Quinn spotted someone hunched over on the curb, crying. She already knew who it was. With a squeeze of her hand Rachel looked over. Silently they both communicated what needed to be done. Rachel released a long and heavy sigh before facing Quinn. She ran a hand through the girl's blonde mane before leaning in for a kiss.
"Call me."
Quinn smiled. "I will."
Their hands broke apart and begrudgingly, Rachel took off into the night. Quinn slowly approached the crying Latina. Silently she sat down beside the girl. Sensing someone's presence the taller girl looked up and over. Santana rolled her eyes and quickly wiped at her tears.
"Why the fuck are you still here?" She mumbled out.
Quinn shrugged. "I had some unfinished business that I needed to deal with."
Santana couldn't have cared less. "Whatever."
Quinn heaved out a long sigh before running a hand through her tasseled hair. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?"
"Oh, you know me, just enjoying the fucking weather is all." Came the sarcastic reply.
"Will you for once, just stop fucking around and tell me what is going on? And don't give me that bullshit about how this is all because you're drunk. This is something more."
Santana drew her eyes to the student parking lot. She wasn't really looking at anything in particular but it made her feel better knowing that she could be somewhere else. A silent tear escaped from the side of her eye. Who knew that this was how her night was going to end. She had pretty rotten luck. She wished she could take it all back. All of it, and start over from the beginning.
"I told her the truth tonight." Santana croaked out.
"The truth?" Quinn asked with a lift of her brow.
The brunette nodded and closed her eyes as a loud shaky sob escaped. "Yeah. The truth that I had been hiding from her all this time. I finally told her tonight."
Quinn was still confused. What was the truth? "And what is it?"
The Latina's brown eyes glazed over. Suddenly she shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes snapped open and looked up at the sky. The stars burned bright, just like she felt. "I didn't mean to tell her though. She- She was just being so damn fucking stubborn! She- followed me out here after I left. She wouldn't leave me alone. She kept pressing me, knowing which buttons to hit. And finally- I cracked!"
"S…." Quinn spoke softly.
More tears escaped from the Latina as she finally looked over at her best friend. After a few more agonizing seconds she took a breath. Her hands balled up into a tight fist. "I-I have stage two pancreatic cancer."
Quinn's eye rose. Her body paralyzed with shock. "What?"she asked breathlessly.
Santana couldn't say anymore but quickly looked away just as her body started wracking with tears. Freezing cold water was dunked over Quinn's head. The pain in her heart is back once again, this time for a different reason.
"How? But- WHY didn't you say anything?" Quinn blurted out quickly, her heart rate rising.
The other girl wasn't responding. Quinn's tears were at bay. And here she thought there would be no more tears tonight. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a cracking tone.
Santana looked over at the blonde. She sobbed out loud before wrapping her arms around the blonde. Quinn was shocked by the action but nevertheless clung onto the girl tightly.
"I never meant to hurt anyone. I just I couldn't tell anyone. There wasn't a point." Santana heaved out. "I couldn't stand the pity looks that people were going to give me. I-I I was trying to keep it down low. When I got the news it was pretty devastating. I got scared! Brittany shouldn't have to deal with it. With this. With me. I wanted her to be happy! I just- I needed her to be happy."
"What did she do when you told her?"
Santana pulled back, a large smile breaking out across her face. Her body was shaking. "She-She slashed my tires. She was really fucking angry at me."
Quinn shook her head and wiped away her tears. "I didn't know Brittany had it in her."
The Latina laughed a little. "She's dated me for too long."
They both let out a heavy breath once things calmed down a little. Hazel eyes traveled over to her friend. "What are you doing to do?"
Santana drew out a breath. "After graduation I'm moving to Mexico with my family to get treatment."
"What about Brittany? You're just going to leave her?" Quinn asked incredulously.
"I don't have a choice. She can't even look at me. And when she left, she was in tears. She was mad. I betrayed her."
Quinn bit her lip and wiped at the remainder of her tears. She sucked in a big breath and quickly stood up. Her face changed into her former self. Her shoulders straightened, head posed, hips cocked, and arms angled on her hips. "You are a fucking dumbass." Quinn stated in a firm tone.
Immediately brown eyes latch on to her. "What the fuck did you just say?"
Deep down the blonde was smiling. Slowly she could see the fire start to form. "You heard me. I didn't stutter."
Santana looks at the other girl incredulously. "I tell you I have cancer and this is what you say to me?"
"Get over it! So what? These kinds of things happen! But you know what? IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! You said so yourself, you're getting treatment. You're going to make it out of this because you are Santana fucking Lopez. You are MY best friend. And I'm not going to let you sit here and whine about something that hasn't even happened. You're an idiot! You fucked up because that girl is all that you've ever loved and you let her go. I'm not letting you walk away from this. So you're going to get up off your fucking ass and march over there to that girl and apologize."
"But-"
"NO! No more excuses! I don't care how scared it makes you feel. I don't care how mad she is. I don't care if you think it's not going to work. I almost lost something that I loved tonight. And I can tell you first hand that if you give up, and let her go, it will rip you apart. GET OFF THAT FAT ASS LOPEZ!"
A large smile broke out across Santana's face as tears tumbled down her face. "You are my best friend aren't you?"
"The one and only." Quinn replied with a light smile.
Santana slowly stood to her feet, a fire blazing behind brown. "Thanks Q."
"What are best friends for?" The other girl replied back.
The other girl shook her head and wiped away her tears. Without another word she quietly took off her heels and threw them into the grass. "Tell Rachel I said hi." Santana stated just before she took off by foot into the dead of night.
Wow! Blackmail does work! Glad you guys enjoyed. Next chapter will come up shortly. Comments, reviews, concerns? Let me know! Love you guys, and thanks for the patience.