"Woof!" said Rod Man's best friend Spot the Dog and it moved him back into reality. He had been zoning out daydreaming about he and his new family's (he, his mindslave rose, and the big man spot himself) homelife instead of doing what a Rod Man should! Investigating! Marik put on his deerstalker hat and put a pipe in his mouth. "Thanks Spot! For reminding me of my job!" Marik said and patted Spot once on the head. "Yip yap!" said Spot and wiggled his butt and jumped on Marik's detective hat. He is Marik Holmes now and ready to get the job done, and of course Spot is his Watson. They are a duo that cannot be beat this Domino City has no idea whats about to hit them. Marik took to the streets rubbing his chin in perplexment. Spot may have been saved from the burning building but what caused it in the first place? What if there were more cute dogs just like him in danger from the fire starters? Marik could not have that and he most definitely will not allow someone evil enough to harm an animal walking the streets of his city.
He narrowed a little as he passed a fire station, which was also convenitetly the first place to go to question guys. Rod Man was not a fan of his last encounter with those guys and he wasn't looking forward to this one either because chances are it would be equally unpleasant. "BARKL!" Said Spot, shiverring. "Shh, shh. Its ok Spot! I'm here." Marik said and comforted his little friend. Spot was super scared so he hid inside of Marik's hat, which was really big to fit around Marik's huge head. It was super cozy in there and Spot started feeling better already! Rod Man stalked around the sides of the building and peeked through a window. "Oh my god..." Marik said, and reached up to cover Spot's eyes because he had forgotten that he was hidden away in the hat. This was a sight not for little puppies. Currently inside of Seto Kaiba's big firestation... the firemen were all circled around a bloody pentagram. There was a human being nailed onto the floor and Marik understood all too well what was happening. A sacrifice had to be made. How DARE these pieces of fucking shit use Black Magics during their evil fireman rituals while Spot the Dog was nearby? Jesus christ, the animals.
Marik couldn't stand the sight anymore and turned away, feeling like he was about to vomit the rods everywhere. "Yip...yap..." Spot barked sadly. He was crying. "Don't worry Spot, Rod Guy is going to get those nasty fireman back for what they have done to you!" he said comforting Spot as the human from inside screamed in horror. Rod Job just rolled his stuff, cut it out guy the Rod Man is trying to concentrate. "But how are we going to get in there...?" Roddy stroked his mouth hole, really putting on his thinking hat. Not the one that Spot was currently in though, the different one. "Bark Bark Bark!" Spot said. Rod shook his head. "No Spot that would never work! These are no ordinary firemen flesh, we've got some real mindslaves on our hands!" "Yip yip woof woof!" Spot suggested. Marik gasped from his hole. "Spot the Dog you are a genius!" He pulled the doggy down into a loving embrace, petting his little fur. God, that man would be lost without Spot the Dog!
There was a knock knock bam on the door and the firemen groaned. "I'll get it." said one of the Satantits and went to go answer it. "Hello its the Pizza Delivery, can I take your order please" said the Rod Man in disguise. He pulled down his pizza hat to wink to Spot the Dog so that he knew it was just him and that he would not be afraid!
"We'd like a large pepporoni pizza with no mayo" said the fireman satanist at the door. Marik narrowed sinisterly, everything was going according to his plan. They might have the devil on their side but not even the fear of the flames of hell could hold a Rod Man back. After this, both God and Satan would fear him. "Wow lucky for you guys I've got one of those right here!" Marik said and flapped his arm that was carrying a Domino's Pizza box from behind his back. What a genius, that Rod Man is truly a brainiac. Those fucking fools over at Harvard University would regret the day they didn't let him into their school.
Anyways, the satanist nodded his approval to the Box and moved aside so Roddy could get in. "Howdy boys! Hows it going today ya'll?" Marik sqaucked with a smile to the herd of fireman. The poor man looked up to Marik, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. It left when Marik sidestepped around him to put the pizza box on the table. This was not his day. "We're doing pretty good, how about yourself?" A fireman said truthfully, they were about to complete a sacrifice of a lifetime could the Pizza(Rod)man not see that? Of course they were doing good! "Oh haha same here just gotta complete my rounds." Roddy replied but then he felt a shuffling in his hat. SHIT! "Woof!" said Spot, and the firemen all whipped around faster than the Rod Man can jump across the antlantic ocean, which is very fast if you didn't know. Marik coughed loudly and hacked up a furball onto the floor. He had to cover for Spot! "Just my allergies acting up." Rod man said uncomfortably, sweat dripping from his large and muscular face.
He loved Spot the Dog more than anything, but he was causing him some huge trouble! "Oh yeah, that happens to me too. I'm actually really allergic to dogs." said one of the fireman comfortingly and Marik widened. He turned to face that particular guy and it was just who he thought he was! The sinister looking fireman from the night before! Marik did not like the way he made him feel last night and did not like the way he made him feel now. "Allergic to dogs, huh... What a shame, Bill. I love those guys." Roddy laughed awkwardly, trying not to blow his cover. "I hate dogs. Ever since I was born those guys have been nothing but trouble to me. I just want them gone." Evil Fireman Bill said super evilly and did a little laugh too. Rod Stick slowly rodded his way to the couch, taking a seat. He felt like he was going to fall over from shock. Who the fucking SHIT could hate dogs? A look flitted through Roddy's eyes and something within him changed. Uh oh. "I'm sorry to hear that, man. What's a mindslave to do? I mean, what's a pizza guy to do? That's me." Shit, things were getting a little hard, in more ways than one. Suddenly the sinister pizza guy let out the grossest looking sneeze anyone ever did see. Marik grabbed a tissue from rod storage and handed it to him but that fucking asshole just screamed and fell to the ground. Fireman Bill was on the edge. "THERE'S A DOG IN HERE, I SMELL IT" he shouted, raising his Satinist knife. Oh no! "N-N-No there isn't! Why would I ever betray you? I love you." Rod Job said quickly. Sweat was pouring out of his rod. But then it happened. Spot barked. Fireman Bill yodeled in rage and charged towards Marik, but that Rod Guy acted quick and used the sacrifice on the floor to shield him and Spot.
Fireman Bill began to rise all the way to the ceiling, long skeletal bat wings erupting from his backside. Just as Marik suspected, all dog haters were quite literally demonic. "Listen up, Bill, put your hands where I can see them because you're going to have to come in to the station with me for some questioning." Rod Man said, ugh, he fucking hated this dude more than anything in the world, no, the GALAXY, but he had to ask him about what happened that night. Marik took out a little notepad and jotted down "Fireman Bill: prime suspect" on it because um being a demon who hates dogs automatically makes you suspiscious. Especially if the crime is AGAINST dogs! It all made sense, and Roddy is not one to jump to conclusions, but you know how it goes.
Fireman Bill was no threat to Rod God, he was chilling out on the ceiling and using his mouth to blow fireballs at Marik instead of trying to continue the conversation they were having. What an asshole. "BILL! EITHER COME WITH ME WILLINGLY OR..." Marik said, and started to rod his way up there, and pounded one fist into his palm trying to be threatening. "I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU BY FORCE!" He screamed, and pounced on Demon Fireman Bill, tackling him to the ground. It looked exactly like King Kong vs Godzilla, no exaggeration. "MWRAGHGHH!" Roddy rodded more and more and the other firemen scattered. Marik took out his cuffs and put em on Bill, and walked him to his police car. "Fuck you." Bill said and spat in Marik's face. Rod Man shoved him into the police car.
"Yeah yeah save it for the judge, tough guy" Rod Job replied and safely buckled Spot the Dog into the passenger's seat and then drove them to the office for questioning. He put Bill into a dimly lit room and tied him to the chair, shining a lamp on him. "Now listen mindslave we're gonna make things nice and easy for you. Just tell me why you did it." Marik said calmly, a Rod Guy never loses his cool. "Go fuck yourself, I'll never tell!" Bill screamed. Roddy slapped him across the face. "Really, Billy? That's how we're gonna play it?" he whispered, wiping the gross fireman blood that got on his palm in Bill's gross and greasy hair. Being a demon from Hell and also a Satanist he didn't have time for cleansliness, of fucking course. Spot growled threateningly to emphasize the Rod's point. "I didn't do it I swear" Bill started crying. "Mhm. I'm sure." Marik started jotting down his observations in his handy dandy notebook. "Well, I mean I- I didn't mean to! It was Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba!" Bill screamed. Rod Stick dropped the notebook to the floor. Of course, how could he have been so blind? The Doctor was a vile and vehement man, filled with filthy ideals and values. Of course he would hate dogs. Marik lowered his hat solemnly to cover his eyes.
The Doctor had really fucking done it this time. Becoming an evil dictator slaughtering billions was one thing, and putting a puppy in harms way was another. There was nothing that could save him now. "Come on, Spot." Roddy said, and hastily made his way out of the jail cell. Spot, as usual, was right on his heels and wagging his tail. So cute! "Woof!" said Spot the Dog. "Shit, sorry Spot. I just wanna get to to that Dasterdly Doctor as fast as I can." Marik said, feeling like crying because he had troubled Spot the Dog. He picked him right up into his arms. "Let's go!" Marik said, and onwards they went to Seto Kaiba's Big Mansion. When he neared the gates, he had to stop to take it all in. Just when it looked like it couldn't have gotten any bigger, it defied all odds, and it had. Now it was more like a castle, black and expansive and it had a mote. Marik wondered if maybe it had crocodiles in it and gulped. He didn't want to find out.
There were two big guards with spikey armor standing in front of where he desperatley needed to get through- the door. He approached those dudes cautiously, with his rod at the ready if he needed it. "Who goes there?" said the guys in unison, maybe they had rehearsed this before? "It is I, Marik Ishtar, also known by many as that Rod guy! You have probably heard of me." Marik said. "Woof!" Spot said, and Marik was quick to translate for him. "And Spot the dog." said Marik. Spot licked his face. They were an intimating duo for sure. "To get past us you have to solve our riddle." The two guys said. "Alright lay it on us!" Marik said, not too worried at all. He comes from Egypt and was hailed an expert riddle solver. "What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?" the guys said, and Marik stopped in his tracks. Bakura popped up out of the bushes and screamed "ROD!" A huge crowd of people all appeared around them wearing party hats and clapping their hands. "Congratulations! You are correct!" They said to Bakura, sprayed their confetti, and then he was swept away. "THANK YOU MINDSLAVE ROSE!" Marik called to him, and then Seto Kaiba's big gates opened in a beam of blinding white light.
"Onwards, Spot!" Roddy said as he barreled down the big bridge to get inside of the huge castle. Once he was inside he took a good look around. There were pictures of Yugi everywhere. Some things never did change, really. "DOCTOR!" Marik screamed into the night. "SHOW YOURSELF!" he screamed more into the night. "Rod Guy...I've been expecting you." he heard that horrible voice and gasped. The one and only Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba was slowly walking down the huge stair case. In all honesty that Doctor hadn't really and didn't know what the heck that Rod was doing in his castle. Especially after all this new security he payed for. "Enough of the bullshit, Doctor! I know it was you! You, who tried to murder my best friend Spot the Dog!" Marik's hands curled into fists and they shook a little too. "And I can't forgive you for that." It was super quiet for a while but then the Doctor said "Come, Rod Guy. I have much to tell you." As you all know, Marik was no mindslave but he did what that Doctor Kaiba said and followed him up the stairs until they were in a room with bright red walls and carpet and furniture with a huge picture of The King of Games hanged over the fireplace. "Sit on thingy, scum" Doctor Seto Kaiba said, pointing and Roddy did so with a little mwagh. "I suspect that you have talked to Fireman Bill. Is that how you came to that conclusion?" The Doctor asked, stroking the pictures on his wall. It was getting really hard. His hand reached down to stroke the pant point and Rod Guy almost fucking puked right then and there. Some people had no manners. "Y-yes, actually! He told me that you-" "He lies! Never trust a word that comes out of that fireman scum's mouth." Doctor Seto Kaiba yelled. Spot whimpered and hid under Marik's huge arms.
Doctor Lawyer Evil Dictator Seto Kaiba had lied and betrayed him time and time again. Marik narrowed. "Why the FUCK should I trust what you say over him!?" Marik screamed, getting a little unhinged. The Doctor had a way of bringing out the worst in him, like the time he was forced to sacrifice his previous bff Joey Wheeler. "I can understand why you'd think that, Rod Guy, really I do. We don't exactly have the best... history with each other, but why would I lie about this? Look around you, Marik. I love dogs." Kaiba said, and Marik looked around at all the Yugi pictures. Holy shit, Kaiba was right.
"And also, detective, I've been having a little 'investigation' of my own." Kaiba said more and got up out of his king throne and into a smaller room filled with a chart on the wall. When Marik looked closer it had a bunch of pictures of the Firemen he had seen earlier and indecipherable scribbles. The scribbles were obviously intended to be words but it's a universal fact of life that Doctor's have shit handwriting. Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba was no exception to that rule. "Well shit maybe you are telling the truth..." Rod Man said, looking to the floor. "We can work together to get rid of the fireman scum, detective. It would be mutually beneficial." Kaiba said, and spread his arms wide. "What exactly are you suggesting?" Marik said, narrowing more by the second. "I'm saying that we have a common enemy. An enemy that needs to be dealt with. We can't have animal abusers walking the streets of our city now can we?" Kaiba said. He was making some very good points. "Well.. I suppose you're right." Roddy said, and reached out to take Kaiba's outstretched hand. They shook hands and the pact had been made. The pact had been made. The pact had been made.
"Just don't fucking even CONSIDER DOUBLE CROSSING ME AGAIN!" Marik shouted, the bird in him was showing. The Doctor chuckled. "Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of it." he said. "Oh well alright then." Marik had been convinced.