It had been weeks and there was still zero water and zero hope for Marik and his pals. If god was watching he was most certainly ashamed. The Rod Man put his big muscular hands over his big muscular face in despair. What were they going to do? He had applied to many different McDonald and Subways in hopes to provide his Rose The Goods he desired every second, every minute, every HOUR, but getting a job in this economy wasn't easy. Especially if you've got a reputation like Roddy's. After the Burger Kings kicked him to the fucking curb like the animals they were (Do not trust a Burger King) he knew he had to try getting monie elsewhere.
"So, Rod Guy, tell me about your last cash handeling experience." The banker said while filing his taxes. The people at Wells Fargo never stop. "Um, well, mindslave, I, uh, SHIT." Marik screamed and straightened his tie, fuck was it hot in there or what? Can someone turn up the AC? Thanks. "I mean, I am very good at handling monie and touching monie as I am sure you guys here at this America Banks are aware. I love monie." He said and Banker began to stroke his wad of cash from under the tabel. Marik needed this job desperately and lying to appeal to the Bank was the only way. A sacrifice.
"Rod Guy, what do you feel is your greatest strength and weakness?" The Banker evilled and increased his stroking of the monie. Marik sweated nervously. Nobody told him a job interview would be this difficult! And what was with this weird look The Banker was giving him?! "Well, I'm great with animals. My love for The Rose is stronger than anything in this whole wide earth, you see." Marik roddled softly, getting lost in thoughts of his mindslave. "Your Rose? Care to explain?" The banker said and got more monie right out of the safe and began stroking them as well. Marik widened slightly at the sight but said nothing. "Oh you know, My Rose. You know how it goes." Marik smiled and that was that.
"Okay. What are your weaknesses?" The Banker asked. "Well...shit. To be honest I'm a recovering alcoholic, but not to worry Mindslave because I'm getting better. Gregory Goodwin Pincus is helping me through the hard times. As well as Spot the Dog. Sometimes my feelings get in the way of life and I come off too strongly. But other than that I honestly can't think of anything that problematic about me." Marik answered honestly and straightned his tie again. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all!
Banker Man cleared his throat uncomfortably. "What do you find are the most difficult decisions to make?" He asked, trying to hold back a moan. The pace at which he strokled his hundred dollar bills got faster and faster and his face was getting more red by the second. Marik paid that no mind and beamed down at the greedy little man. "Well, sacrificing people is never easy. Haha, just recently I was forced to sacrifice my ex best friend, the leader of Smash Mouth. The whole thing was taped and put on live television so you might have seen it played on Fox News. I didn't want to do it, though, don't get me wrong! Sometimes sacrifices just have to made."
The Banket was barely even paying attention but his heart skipped a beat at the mention of Fox News. He loved those guys. "Mhm, alright. I see. What are your hobbies?" He grunted, eww! What a nasty man. "A few weeks ago I decided to take up gardening and so far I've absolutely loved it. I mean, I am The Gardener after all. Creating life instead of taking it away has really helped me mellow out after a hard day of rodding, ya know what I mean? Other than that, I'm a big fan of couponing to try and save as much monie as I can. Times are hard, John." Marik said a lot into the night but was not whispering this time so that John could hear him loud and clear. John's climax was near.
"Alright Rod Guy well thank you for your time. I'll be sure to get back to you" John said shakily as he felt the approaching release. "Really? Holy shit thank you! I love you" Marik said and that just tipped John over the edge and his stuff got all over the table and all over the monie. "Catch you later Mindslave!" Marik said quickly, clearly feeling pretty uncomfortable at the sight. He jumped back on his motorcycle and rodded home as fast as he could. He could not wait to get the call tonight where John, his good friend, would tell him that he got the job.
So that night Marik waited by the phone. And he waited and he waited. But John never called. A single tear slid down Marik's face and he knew this wasn't good. "What?" Bakura said walking into the bedroom to go to bed and instead seeing his gross looking Gardener. "I didn't get the job, Rose." Marik said softly and then just let it all out. He sobbed and sobbed. He wanted the monie. He needed the monie. He hadn't showered in days. Bakura walked out of the room. "What the FUCK MINDSLAVE" Marik roddled out through a cry and chased him out of the room. He found him at the fridge, no surprise there. "Can't you see I'm TRYING? I'M DOING MY BEST EVERY DAY TO SUPPORT THIS FAMILY AND YOU JUST DON'T CARE!" Rod Bod screamed and it wouldn't stop.
Bakura took one look into the fridge and his mouth hole widened in horror. Where was the FOOD AT? It was completely empty, not even a single yogurt cup was to be seen. Bakura turned to Marik in a fit of rage. "WELL CLEARLY YOU ARE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! There is NO FOOD! I am HUNGRY! Get Me Something To Eat Right Now!" He shrieked up to his big muscular husband. Marik recoiled into his Rod Cave, ashamed. What is a Rod Man to do? He does his best. Marik turned to face his window for a brooding session but there he was, Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba, with his face pressed up against the glass and breathing heavily. His Rod Cave was on the second story.
Marik was about to rod his way out of there before he remembered the deal they had made back at Seto Kaiba's big evil castle. But what did he want now? Did he have news about the Firemen? Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba hovered outside for another moment or two before doing three cartwheels midair and came crashing inside. Rod did not have the monie or the time to fix the property damage. He hoped it wouldn't rain tonight.
"Hello, Rod Guy." Came his doctorly voice. "I'm not in the mood for this, Doctor. Get to the point. Have you heard word from The Firemen?" He said, and the Doctor evilled right back at him. "No, Marik, but I heard from one of my employees that you visited one of my extremely successful bank chains earlier today, Wells Fargo." He said and Marik scratched his head in confusion. Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba seemed to own everything in Domino, no wonder he was so fucking rich.
"Oh, well shit! Do I have the job? Did John send you?" Marik shouted happily, wiping the freshly spilled tears from his huge muscular cheeks. "Not this time, Rod Man. Just because we're on the same side now doesn't mean you get special treatment. Listen, how about this... We can have a Boy's Night Out together. What do you say?" The Doctor asked, and Marik gurgled. "Really? You mean it?" Tears began to leak out of Marik's rod. He was so touched. "It's on me." Kaiba said, taking out a giant wad of one hundred thousand dollar bills and flaunting it. He waved it in front of Marik's nose. Marik was living in poverty.
The two weird guys hopped in Doctor Lawyer Seto Kaiba's Blue Eyes White Dragon Private Jet Plane right from the window. Bakura would just have to fend for himself. That's what happens. In just a matter of a seconds they had landed and the jet was so big it took up the entire parking lot. "So where did you take me Brother?" Marik asked and rodded out of the jet to look up at the sky. "You seemed a little stressed so I thought this would help you...Unwind." Kaiba said and put an uncomfortable hand on his shoulder and pointed up at the neon sign. Marik widened. "A Strip Club? Holy shit how did you know? This is just what I need" Rod Job laughed and the friends danced their way inside.
There were dancing guys everywhere (if you didn't know both Kaiba and Marik Loved The Boys) and some of them were on poles too. "Hello it's the Strip Club can I take your order please" said a guy in nothing but undies. "I'll have your finest prime ribs and my friend here won't be ordering. He is living in poverty." Kaiba explained and The Waiter nodded in understanding. The Waiter danced his way over to their seat and shook his butt too because it's what he was payed to do you know. "Wow Doctor I'm so glad we could do this. I'm so relaxed already!" Roddy roddled and looked up at the big stage. Something about the way those cutie boys moved their hips made Rod Bod's Rod react positively and he mwagh'd softly. Kaiba took out a hundred thousand dollar bill and put it in one of the dancer's undies.
The sexie lad returned with his booty bouncing about like it was nobodies business. In his hands was a round plate that held a small salad for The Doctor and a bunch of rolls. The people of the Strip Club sure knew how to treat a man. Kaiba put his arms behind his head and leaned back when Larry put his pre-steak meal on the table. He was living the life while Marik starved. "Thanks, Larry." The Doctor Lawyer said kindly and stuffed thousands of dollars into his pantie.
Marik's mouth watered at the sight of Kaiba's food. His drool started to drip down the table and onto the floor and wetted Kaiba's expensive shoes. "You'll be paying for that." He said and Marik slammed his head on the table. Poverty isn't easy. "Of course, Kaiba." Marik groaned and watched Kaiba pick up a fork and dig in to the Salad and Roll. Tonight (and every other night), he was feasting like a king. They don't call him Doctor Lawyer Dictator for nothing. "So, what have you been up to lately?" Marik asked, trying to ignore his ever present growling stomach. He was so hungry. "The usual, Rod Guy. Ridding the world of duelist scum isn't exactly something that happens overnight." He said with his mouthful of DELICIOUS FOOD. Marik was STARVING.
"That's great, Doctor." Marik said quietly and then there was a silence. Fucking SHIT. The bootylicious waiter returned to their table carrying a HUGE plate of All Vegan Pasta and Rod Job widened at the sight. Finally! Maybe God was smiling upon him today! "Ok boys now I have one All Vegan Pasta" The waiter said sexily and Marik reached his hand out and out and..."You've got the wrong table I would never order such filth." Kaiba rolled and pointed his long slender finger the other way. "Wow oops my fault sorry" The bootylicious waiter danced away and Marik could still smell the goods.
"...Did I tell you I took up gardening?" Marik rumbled almost as much as his stomach. He reached his hand out for the water but Kaiba owned this Strip Club and therefore he owned the water too and SNATCHED it right out of Marik's foolish fingers to drink for his own benefit. Roddy longed for Rod Cave. "That sounds pretty fucking stupid, Rod Guy." Kaiba answered honestly and took a swig of beer too. If he could become a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Chocolatier AND an Evil Dictator all at the age of 16, then whose to say he couldn't have a little fun with the alcohols. Marik winced and mwagh'd all at once. "Do you think you could...not drink at the table? I'm a recovering alcoholic and I really don't want any temptations." Roddy said softly. Kaiba gurgled.
Without a care in the world that Doctor Lawyer took out 3 beer and shotgunned them all one after the other. "Or not. Whatever." Marik gurgled from both out of his throat and stomach and maybe some other weird body part all at the same time. Kaiba rolled. "Can you be quiet? I'm trying to enjoy my salad." He said and Marik felt like dying. He was empty inside. Literally. "I'M DOING MY BEST. I CAN'T STOP IT. DO YOU THINK I ASKED FOR THIS!?" Marik screamed, making a scene in this fine Strip Club/5 star restaurant eating estabembelishment. "Calm down, Rod Guy. It can't be that bad." The Doctor said, unable to understand the pains of hunger when food has been handed to him on a golden (not silver, we are speaking literally) platter for the majority of his life. If only he could remember the days when he was hanging out without his family in a small orphanage. Greed can change a person drastically over the years.
Kaiba took another swig of beer and finished it in one gulp. After those many, many alchols, The Doctor was finally feeling a little bit buzzed. There is one thing he and Marik have in common besides being murders and that is that they are both giants so, of course, it takes a lot more alcolols to get them going. "Look, the shows about to start." Kaiba said and directed his doctorly gaze to the center stage which was right in front of their table. Marik's vision was getting blurry, he hadn't eaten in weeks.
"Ladies and gentlemen" Mokuba Kaiba said from his microphone. "Are you ready to rock!?" The crowd went wild. Mokuba did a cool peace sign and moonwalked away into a swirl of mist. The DJ, one of Kaiba's evil knight minions, pressed the big red play button on the boombox. Britney Spear's huge hit Toxic began to play at his command. No man should have that much power. Technology is becoming too strong. The Strip Club made a rumble and this time it was not because of Marik's large feet stomping around and wreaking havoc on Kaiba's goods. Finding shoes that fit is not an easy task but more important right now The Toxic is super loud and the building knew it too.
Marik was hurting, desiring Britney, desiring Alhochol, desiring FOOD. "It's Britney, bitch." came a familiar gangstery voice and Marik rubbed his eyes, unable to believe what he was seeing. It was none other than That Jaden Yuki dancing out from where Mokuba had disappeared into the shadows and proceeding to glide his way over to the pole but he was not finished yet! Jaden attached his buttcheeks firmly to the metal. Marik had been betrayed again.
"JADEN?" Marik screamed and Jaden Yuki's gaze met Rod Guys's but he didn't seem fazed in the least. "Oh hey Rod Guy?" Jaden said and climbed the pole with his powerful butt cheeks. Nothing could stop his body. Marik lifted his head to the heavens and screamed. He desired BRITNEY! NOT STUPID JADEN YUKI! Where was the FOOD AT? "Double crossed again, eh Roddy." Kaiba observed through the licquor and ordered a tacquil, Marik's favorite. Jaden danced and jigged and grinded all up on everything and nobody could deny he was great at what he did. Tears streamed down Marik's face. Britney?
"Hello Sir I have your Ribs" the waiter said and handed Kaiba his meal before hopping on stage and joining in on the fun. Rod Bod wanted to fucking puke, the smell was unbereable and he was still so, so hungry... "Wow, look at the little dude go." Kaiba said all wastedy pointing at Jaden. Marik's rod felt things (bad things) and he looked away in disgust. But not enough to watch Kaiba take out hundreds upon thousands of dollars, maybe even millions, and throwing every last one on stage for the dancers.
"You dancers deserve the best" Kaiba said proudly (drunkly) and Marik made grabby hands for the monie. Kaiba slapped his hand away. "Don't steal, scum" The Doctor evilled and Marik could do nothing but cry as every dancer (except Jaden. Kaiba made the rules around here) literally rolled in the delicious monie. "I'm sorry" Rod God gurgled sadly. "You don't know what it's like to be double crossed again and again and again..." Marik started but was cut off by Toxic ending, Jaden thrusting his hips out sexily and smiling at the wild applause. It was time for another song and dance number but for this one they hired a live band. The spot light shimmie shined on them and Roddy's heart stopped. The lead singer looked so much like Joey. Joey, who loved music. Joey, who was gone. A sacrifice. How Marik missed him now.
"I have to go" Marik hurriedly jumped out of his seat and rodded out of that place. He hid his face in shame, not wanting the working boys or the Joey lookalike to see his tears. Out the doors he went and into the cold night and wrapped his arms around himself helplessly trying to keep warm. His only jacket had holes in it. Fucking shit. He rodded himself to the best of his abilities from the Sexy Strip Club's front doors back to The Rod Man Household but it wasn't easy under his conditions. Optimal rodding, especially high distance, requires a Rod Guy to be in a healthy state. Don't worry though, luckily Marik made it safe and sound and he sniffed at the air for a whiff of some Mindslave Flesh. There was nothing, his Rose must not be inside. What the fuck? He took out his phone to dial 911 but accidentally smashed in Bakura's number instead.
"Hello It's me!" Bakura slurred, everyone was getting the licker except the person who needed it most (Rod Man). Or maybe the slurring was just Bakura being Bakura, no one really knows for sure. "Where are you, Rose? I just got home." Marik mwagh'd sadly and felt more tears leak from his Rod. "I'm having dinner with Aster and my friends!" Rose said and Marik's heart had broked. His mindslave rose had not invited him.
"...Aster and friends? With...Food?" Roddy asked slowly, his voice shaking with a need, a desire. "Yes! Aster made me lots of steak and rolls and ice cream and it is all FOR ME!" Bakura squealed and did a little clap too. We don't know how though. That may have been a different sound. "But at first his stupid boyfriend Zane messed up and we have 100 plates of koshary but don't worry he threw it all away so it didn't stink up the house!" Bakura continued and Marik felt him self slipping. "Koshary is my favorite, you know that, Rose. Why didn't you save any for me?" he whispered into the night and also into the phone. "You weren't invited, soooo. Bye!" Bakura hunged up the phone and went back to partying with his best friend Aster Pheonix. Marik heard the soft beep of the dial tone and for the first time in a while he could not feel a thing.
The only sound that could be heard was his stomach gurgling, crying. Just like him. He walked the halls of his house and really took a look around. The slowly decaying walls, the empty fridge, the moldy shower, the broken table and chairs, the beat up and stained couch cushions. This is what Poverty will do to a man. Finally, he looked at his wallet. It was so, so empty. A little fly flew out of it and all that was left was a picture of him and his Rose. He kept it with him at all times, it was his treasure.
It started to rain. From up above with the choir of angles, God was crying. He had been watching. He had been ashamed. He sees all. Then Rod Guy realized it, something he hadn't noticed before! If God's tears could help his garden grow then...? Marik barreled out the door, leaving yet another huge gaping hole in the side of his house, and kneeled down and let his tears drip onto each and every sprout. "Grow, my babies. Grow." Marik whispered, his misery being soaked up into his family of roses. And they obeyed without question, albeit slowly. Gardening properly takes a lot of effort, time, and patience, but more importantly than anything... love.