Marik roddled sadly to himself, not even having the energy to mwagh anymore. He's doing his be- "Marik I am ho-" Bakura, Marik's most treasured mindslave said and slammed the door open and closed. He walked into the room and he was wearing a cute tiara with real many carrots diamonds. If they sold it they would have enough monie to last them years. Or maybe weeks if you take Bakura's appetite into consideration. "Hi Ro-" Marik said and circled his mindsl- "I see you have been doing some... shoppi-" He said even more when his weakened rod eyes noticed the 20 shopping bags making home at their doorstep. "Hhaa, yeah. I love stealing!" Bakura said and dropped the one single bag he could carry on the floor to clap his ha- What a beautiful day in Domino to slowly starve.
"Listen Rose we need to talk and we need to now. The poverty is getting worse and I need you to start chipping in or else I will fucking die." Marik said in the most serious voice he could. Bakura waddled over to the fridge and screamed. "MARIK WHERE IS THE FOO-" He screamed the words and lifted his fists high to the sky kind of like a toddler. As always, Marik was surrounded by literal childre- "I TOLD YOU ROSE I CAN'T AFFORD FOOD. BUT YOU CERTAINTLY FUCKING CAN. THE JOB SEARCH IS GOING HORRIBLY, JADEN YUKI IS A STRIPPER. WHAT DO I DO?!" Rod God was really dancing now. Bakura rolled away into the bedroom and Marik fell to his knees, mouth opening as if in silent sob. The monie. Where was the mon-
"Wait a minute..." Roddy saided it out loud to himself but it was quiet. "My babies. Where are my BABI-" Holy fucking shit, this was bad. He was the worst father ever. He had left his children unattended, what if something happened to them? He rodded and rodded all the way outside, faster than a Rod Guy with a gallbladder problem. He kept rodding until he had reached it. He sighed in relief. "Ah, yes. My roses." He sai-
His children, his roses, his favorite. Marik took a long roddy sniff of his babies and of course they smelled delicious. He expected no less from an Ishtar, each and every sprout should be proud to carry on that name. At this rate, maybe he'd have grandchildren after all! If you want to get technical Rod Bod already has a grandchild if you count Baby Gramps, who is literally speaking both a grandpa and a child. Eww. From inside the house he heard a weak and feeble scream, somewhere a baby was crying. Marik's literal grandpa baby, speak of the devil!
He'd deal with it later because right here right now he was spending some quality father son bonding with his lovely babies. Roddy didn't get to see them as much as he'd like to since he's been on the hunt for job but you know how it goes. "CAN SOMEONE MAKE BABY GRAMPS SHUT THE FUCK UP? THA-" Marik screamed and stomped his huge muscular feet (they had not deteriorated, his skin is more powerful than anything in your wildest dreams). Silence foll- Marik felt pleasure from deep within his rod, a job well done.
Then it happened. That Jaden Yuki stepped out of the house and walked over to the Rod Guy kneeling by his garden, his love. Jaden was wearing a bathrobe and had a towel in his hair. He was so tired. "Marik, please. I'm so tired. Take care of your kids." Jaden said, cradling the feeble Baby Gramps as well as Hope in his arms. "My what?" Marik roddle- "Your kids. Hope and Destiny need yo-" Jaden said and a single tear slid down his cheek. He didn't mention Mind and Slave because as you know they were by far the weakest of the litter.
"Listen Jaden. I'm trying to provide for this family the best I can. Times are hard and sacrifices need to be made." Marik tore his attention from the garden and ROSE up on his knees to full height. Jaden shiver- "You can't keep living like this Rod Guy you need to find work!" Jaden cried and the babies followed suit. That made made Marik scream loud and proud. "I'M TRYING! BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING!" Marik sobbed and screamed and twisted and shouted. Jaden narrowed his stuff. He dug his hand into his fuzzy pink bathrobe pocket and pulled out some monie. Roddy gurgled instantly at the sigh- "Go to the store and buy the goods. For your rose. For your babies." Jaden said all wise and stuff. Stripping wasn't easy but he was making do with what little he had.
And so the Rod Man set out for the local and best place to get some grub, Seto Kaiba's Big Supermarket. He was too tired to walk over to his motorcycle so he crawled, rodding slightly along the ground as he went. When he got to his beautiful bike he hauled himself up on all fours like the animal he truly is on the inside and then backflipped into the air and landed right on top of the seat. Wow! He was up to his rod in poverty but that isn't going to stop him from showing off his sick moves. The crowd (being Jaden and the babies) did not go wild.
When Marik looked behind him as he vroomed away he could see Jaden crying pitifully as he rocked Hope and Destiny to sleep, bringing a temporary end to their misery. He barreled and barreled and rodded too but just a little down the road at a speed of 100mph (which is way past the speed limit in this here Domino City but whats a Rod Guy to do?).
He sees it.
Marik braked down hard on his gas pedal.
He backed up his rad bike, redirecting it right in the middle of the road, ruining many peoples days (lives?) in the process. It was a busy day in Domino City, after all. Killing? Killing? Killing? Traffic. The power. Boom! Crash! He is running his motorcycle, still at the speed of 100mph, right into the walls of Weevil's Flower Shop™. A Rod Man never stops once he has his eye on the prize. Marik sweated as he exited the vehicle, he knew he shouldn't be here- knew that his babies needed formula but... His ro-
"Hello it's Weevil's Flower Shop. Can I take your order please" Said the little Weevil guy himself in all his grossness. Marik would have gurgled at the sight of him but he didn't even have the energy to do that. The poverty was getting worse. "Yes hello I need to buy food for my babies. My roses" Roddy explained weakly and Weevil nodded in understanding. Folks like him lined up at his world renowned flower shop every day. Weevil Underwood LOVED life. "Right this way Rod Guy" he said and led him to the flower food, you know the stuff.
"Tha-" Marik said and began shoving as much of the flower food as he could into his pockets. But something was wrong. The goods were overflowing out of his legs. WHAT THE FUCK?! Roddy opened his mouth as if in silent scream but then he realized. He hadn't eaten in weeks. He was shrinking. That meant that of course his very own pants, his favorite, were shrinking too. "Fucking shi-" Rod Job whispered into the night. He looked at his hands and wondered how God felt at this moment, watching him. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he is seeing them! The ROSES! MORE OF THEM!
His rod bubbled, leaking tears of happiness. The world could see it too because there was now a very noticable wet stain on the crotch of Marik's favorite. Marik was not embarrassed by this though, in fact he couldn't stop himself from thrusting out his hips in the direction of the roses. His babies. His favorite. More tears leaked. "H-How much for those" Marik stammered, reaching out for them with his weakened rod fingers. Oh how they longed for the Rose's touch. "Those roses are gonna cost ya." Weevil evilled, licking his lips. Looking closely on the seed packets reads "Juliet Rose". The most expensive roses in the world. Marik drooled.
"I don't care. Take my monie, take what little I have." Marik had to have them. The roses were calling out to him and he was intoxicated by their touch, their feel, their aroma. He needed the ro- Weevil weevil'd and rubbed his wet sticky hands together. "Alright let's ring you up then, Rod Guy" He led the slightly shivering Rod to the cash register to ring a ling a ding them up. "That will be...all the monie you own" Weevil laughed and Rod Guy just sighed.
Drool was getting all over thr floor because of how badly he desired the goods. He had never in his life desired anything as much as he deried the Juliet Rose. With flower food dripping out of one hand and the Juliet Rose Seeds themselves in the other he made his purchase with every last ounce of Jaden Yuki's hard owned monie. "Sorry, Jaden. But sometimes sacrifices have to be ma-" Marik gurgled weakly but also smiled at what he had done. The roses, his babies, were not only in his posession, but they were going to eat well tonight as well. At least someone he cared for in his life would be happy.
Weevil's eyes glowed red with evilness as Marik crawled out the door. Weevil picked up the phone and dialed 911. "Hey its the police, can we take your order please?" Said Steven, eating a donut. Delicious. Buy one from Krispy Kreme. "Hello Steven." Weevil said, greeting Steven. "Lovely weather we're having today." Steven said, admiring the view out of his donut hole. Weevil nodded, a perfect day for gardening indeed. "It appears that my flowers... my Juliet Roses... have been stolen." Weevil Underwood evilled, rubbing his hands together like an evil fly, which he pretty much was already. Steven gasped. "911 EMERGENCY" he screamed and every single officer in the station rushed for their Emergency Pole, sliding down as quickly as they could. Wee woo wee woo! The Juliet Roses were worth over 15 million monie.
Back with the Rod Man himself he was riding riding riding down the high way. But in his weakened state he was as nimble as a snail and kind of looked like one too. "I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the graaay" Marik sung quietly to himself as he did what he could to get back to his garden. But then lights and sirens, wee woo wee woo!
"ROD MAN PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM" Steven screamed from the police car behind him with his little megaphone. His mouth was still filled to the brim with donuts, you know how those police men are. The government are not as strong as you think they are. Do not trust them. "OH FUCK" Marik shou- He parkled bike and nervously rose his arms high to the sky and wiggled a bit for them too. "What seems to be the problem officer? I was just making my way back to my garden, my babies." Rod Job explained nervously as the police men (more like police MEAN am I right?) began surrounding hi- "ON THE GROUND NOW ROD MAN" Steven shrieked. He was not about to put up with a Juliet Rose Thief.
Marik gulped. These men meant business and the rod felt it in its bone if you know what I mean. "E-easy now officer. Seriously, whats up guys?" Rod Man asked, shaking. Was it out of fear or from the lack of nutrience any healthy Rod Guy needs to survive? We don't know. Steven took out two guns from his pocket and pointed them right at Marik. One wrong move and Rod Guy would be Rod Gone.
"I SAID DOWN ON THE GROUND" Steven said and ducked down quickly to pick up a donut with his teeth since his hands were busy with gun. Violence is never the answer. Marik, even with the failing Rod's in his eyes, could see a weakness in the police's formation. Slowly but surely, he obeyed and lowered his body gently to the ground. "It's really too bad that you guys have to arrest me." Marik said, it was now or never. "Krispy kreme is giving away free donuts." Every police in the area froze up, drool dripping swiftly from their mouth holes. Steven panted like a dog. "Did you say... Krispy Kreme?" Steven said. "Yep, sure did." Marik grinned widely at Steven.
The police department is useless. They will not protect you. Don't tru- Steven looked over at his men, then back at Marik, and then off into the distance where surely a Krispy Kreme rested. With that, a decision was made. Policeman Steven and his men hightailed it as swiftly as humanly possible for Krispy Kreme. They never failed him. In Krispy Kreme, Steven trusts. Amen.
"Well shit, glad that's over with." Rod God commented on a job well done and wiped a huge drop of sweat from his forhea- "Come on, my babies. Let's get you home" he cooed and crawled back to his bike. "I've got a beautiful home waiting just for yo-" he cut himself off in shock. He should have seen this coming. The roses, his very own Juliet Roses were gone, stolen right from his grasp.
"ROSE? ROSE?!" He screamed, looking every which way frantically but they were no where to be found. Gone like the wind like they say. We warned you about the government. "STEVEN!" Marik roddled as loud as he could muster and it could be heard from all across the land. Where Steven was rushing to the nearest Krispy Kreme, in his hands he held the very own Juliet Rose and was evilling softly to himself. Now they were his for the taking. The Juliet Rose was worth 15 million dollars. If he sold it, he could buy around 15 million Krispy Kreme donuts, maybe even more. "Toodaloo, Rod Guy." he whispered to the nigh-
Success is in the soil.