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"Well fucking shit Bakura" Marik said, slamming down his map on the kitchen table with enough force to snap it in half. "That settles it. I'm going camping." And so his journey begins.
Meanwhile In Heaven! Gregory Goodwin Pincus, a valued philosopher and well known inventist of birth control, the device you all know and love, is sitting all pleased with himself on his couch made of clouds. If you were to die now (and if not now, then soon) you too could experience the pleasures of heaven. It's so easy to let yourself slip. But anyways, Gregory Goodwin Pincus is enjoying peace at last and looking so fine in the fluorescent lighting of God's home. Is he watching? Yes. Is he ashamed? Yes.
Ring a ding ding here comes the phone! "What is it now" Gregory Goodwin Pincus said, rolling his stuff. He had just now started to kick back, relax, and look at the living use his birth control through a crystal ball. Not only is Gregory Goodwin Pincus a fine inventor and an angel but also a magician. He is a master of many crafts. "Hello Gregory it's Marik, also known by many as that Rod Guy" Marik said in case his good pal Gregory Goodwin Pincus had forgotten him by now. The time is near.
Gregory had to admit, he totally forgot Marik for a split second until he reminded him that he ALSO was known as that Rod Guy. Greggy heaved a long long long sigh. "Yes Marik it's me Gregory. How have you been doing old chap" Gregory Goodwin Pincus said the words, completely unprepared for the events of what was about to happen.
"I've been doing great! My garden and my rose have been as well. But listen...I've got a preposition for you." Marik roddled into the phone and Gregory cocked his head in confusion. He was especially fearing God at this moment.
"What is it Marik, I'm a very busy man and I don't have all day" he lied. Gregory Goodwin Pincus, famed creator of birth control and savior to both the Rod Man and his Rose was also a horrible fucking liar. Just add him to the list of people who have betrayed Marik, and it grows every day. But anyway, "Come on down to my house. I've got a big surprise for you!" Roddy gurgled with happiness and then hung up the phone. Gregory had NO idea what this was about...but he knew it couldn't be good. With the powers of the birth control powers anything is possible though and he beamed himself down to Domino City and was then infront of the Rod Residence. He looked around in confusion but then out of the corner of his eye he sees it. The Rod Guy himself is decked out in a lifejacket, a fishing hat and a fishing rod all ready to go infront of his parked truck that had tents in the back. "Get yourself packed, Gregory Goodwin Pincus. We're going camping!"
Despite being offered an adventure of a lifetime, Gregory was not going to be convinced so easily. He narrowed at Rod Man cautiously. "And what of first aid? Did you pack medical supplies?" Gregory questioned Roddy, showing off his fine thinking skills. Lacking a first aid kit is the number two leading cause of death by camping in America. Lacking education is the first. Save a life by doing proper research before pitching your tent and remember kids, always use a condom. And Gregory Goodwin Pincus' fine invention, the very own birth control pill. It didn't work very well for his wife though because good old Elizabeth Pincus birthed three whole babies. Don't follow in her footsteps.
Anyways, Marik rodded through a wall and outside to where his motorhome awaited him. "Come on, Gregory! The waters fine! Haha, I'm just joshing with ya. Of course I have first aid!" And it was true. Marik Ishtar would never put Gregory Goodwin Pincus, or anybody else for that matter, in any kind of danger.
Not in a million years.
Gregory took a step back and narrowed his stuff for like the 3rd time that day. "Rod Guy...are you certain this is a good idea?" he asked cautiously, a Gregory always has to be wary. "Of COURSE it is! What could go wrong? Just you, me, and the great outdoors. It will be great!" Marik was widening and widening as the sentence went on, he was just getting so excited! You know what the idea of camping can do to a Rod Guy. And add Gregory Goodwin Pincus into the mix and you KNOW you're gonna be having yourself a party. "Well...alright." The pact had been made, and Gregory had been convinced. The wrath.
"Well then what are you waiting for? Hop in!" Marik was really sqwaking now. But the happy kind, you know the one. Marik rodded into the motorhome and kept on rodding until he was in the front seat, his trusty first aid kid never leaving his side. Gregory walked (read my lips, walked, not rodded) into the seat next to Rod Job and looked out the window solemnly as Marik pulled out of the driveway. "See ya Rose, see ya Spot! Next stop, Lake Destiny!" Roddy yodeled out with a little honk of his horn.
Out they go! Up up and away they went and went down Domino City's streets, rodding past carolers instead of through them. Was it on purpose or just a happy coincidence? You never know with a Rod Man. "The weather's looking fine today and the skies are clear! Thanks god" Marik said and Greory Goodwin Pincus whipped his head around at the mention of the Lord's name. He SEES. He HEARS.
"At this rate we should get there before dark." Marik said but louder this time. A Rod Man never loses faith, or hope, or destiny, and most definitely never their roses. In fact, right now strapped to the tip top of his motorhome were a bunch of flowerpots containing his babies. He is never without them. Petals, Roddy's favorite Rose, is buckled up for maximum safety measures in the seat next to him. Gregory is in that seat too but he is a ghost and can pass through Petals easily. You know how it goes.
"NIGHT HAS FALLEN" Marik announced. "But we have not yet arrived at our destination" Gregory said all wisely. "Guess we'll have to stop for the night, eh guys?" Marik gurgled and tried to nudge Gregory with his large and powerful elbow but Gregory phased through it ghostly. Marik mwagh'd and brought his motorhome slowly to a hault. If only he had gone faster than 10mph they would have long since been at Lake Destiny but Marik was not going to take any chances with his babies on board. Car safety is important and a Rod Man's gotta do what a Rod Man's gotta do to protect his family. The roses, his family, his favorite.
Little did Roddy know that stopping your motorhome for the night in the middle of the highway is frowned upon in most cultures. Behind him the cars were piling up and honking honking honking while others crashed into one another due to the obstacle of Marik's huge motorhome blocking the path. "Marik is this such a good idea? Look at the destruction you are causing." Gregory gestured outside to a car on fire but Roddy didn't see the problem as per usual. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay. We've got a big day ahead of us! Night Gregory." Marik saided it and then reclined back in his chair, closing his eyes and falling asleep immidietly. Nothing could be done about the traffic jam, that's just the way life is sometimes. Sorry.
Gregory Goodwin Pincus looked at the stars. What did he think about this, he wondered. From all the way up there, watching them. Gregory couldn't say for sure, but he knew one thing. This was a trip he wouldn't ever forget.
The next morning sun had fallen and it was time to really get things rolling! "Top of the morning to ya!" Gregory awoke to the sound of The Rod Man's horrible voice in his ears and the smell of veggie bacon sizzling. But wait a minute...what was it cooking on?
Marik looked Gregory Goodwin Pincus directly in his eye holes as he slowly picked veggie bacon up and shoved it into his mouth, chewing slowly so he could truly appreciate each and every bite. The Rod Man hadn't eaten in weeks. Poverty is unforgiveable.
"And some water for you too, Petals." Marik said and took out a sprinkler and got to work on Petals. Petals was quickly refreshed and now Marik was ready to start the day. "Want some, Gregory?" Marik offered out the sprinkler. "No, I'm- uh. I'm good" Gregory mumbled, not really sure what to say. Marik shrugged a big Rod Man shrug. "Suit yourself." He said and lifted his sprinkler to the heavens and let it freely rain down on him. It was the closest thing to a shower Roddy could get. There was a Knight's Inn only a block away. Sprinkling was the only option.
Marik finished his little sprinkle while Gregory Goodwin Pincus looked vaguely disinterested and then it was time to hit the road! A huge muscular hand flicked on the radio and Marik was really dancing now. He'd never not get his groove on to a Britney Spears song. He put the pedal to the metal as hard as he could (but not before making sure his babies were strapped in safely to the top of his vehicle) and off they went! "Marik Ishtar you are as nimble as a snail" Gregory Goodwin Pincus groaned, letting his ghostly face press against the car window. This was going to be a long night (morning).
"Alright Gregory I'm gonna show you some of my favorite tunes. I think you'll really take a shining to this one." Marik said and held out a cassette tape to show Gregory Goodwin Pincus he wasn't FUCKING around. He popped the tape in and Kiss from a Rose started to play, Marik's favorite song. "Youuuu remain, my POWER my PLEASURE my PAIN" Marik sung along to the extremely relatable lyrics and just let it all out. Gregory rolled his stuff. "Your music taste is below average, Marik. Let me show you some real music." The fabled inventist grumbled and took out his own music and ripped Marik's out without any regard for his feelings. Britney Spears was a horrible artist in Gregory's eyes.
"What the- come on Gregory this isn't cool. What is this? Bethoven?" Marik roddled in bewilderment and Gregory sighed. "This is Mozart, Marik. It's real music." Rod Bod narrowed. "I want to listen to Britney, Gregory. We are going to have to compromise." Gregory Goodwin Pincus crossed his arms, refuding to remove his little tape. Marik didn't want to resort to this, but Greg left him with no choice. Roddy slowly rose his sprinkler.
Gregory Goodwin Pincus felt no fear, he backs down to no one. "What would Petals think about this? You might run out of water for her if you waste it on the likes of me" Gregory wised, looking at that very Petals as he spoke. "Lower it" That Pincus said and Marik was no mindslave but he obeyed without question. For Petals.
Roddy crossed his arms (he is driving) and puffed out his muscular chest. "Listen to your stupid Van Gogh! I don't care anymore. I heard that classical music can stimulate rose growth anyways." Marik noted and put his hands back on the wheel and slammed on a brake just before they veered off the road and into a neverending chasm. Make no mistake, the road to Lake Destiny was fucking dangerous and not a place for children or for those with chronic heart problems. Marik did not like putting his roses lives in jeopardy by putting them through this but you don't always get what you want.
They did not crash though and the great composer, Mozart, continued his little piano song. With his music to set the 10mph mood, Roddy and friends were on their way. "Good heavens" Gregory Goodwin Pincus said and he looked out the window and there it was. The pub. Marik swallowed nervously when his eyes found the paper thing that was taped on the windows that said "Buy 1 get 1 free! Today!"
...
Tequil?
...
Boom! Crash! Marik is jumping out the motorhome window and is now inside of the pub. Gregory Goodwin Pincus facepalmed. Would his roses be ashamed? God certainly was.
"Marik, don't!" Gregory pleaded with his arms outstretched, hoping to that very God that his arms would reach all the way to the pub where Marik awaited, but he didn't have Rod Guy's weird biology. Instead he rolled his way inside the pub and barreled over to Marik who was just about to engulf every single Tecuil in the resturant.
"You don't want to do this, Marik." Gregory said it and Marik gave a short gurgle of shock. "But...the alcohols...I desire them, Gregory Goodwin Pincus." Marik mwagh'd softly but he was also still holding the goods. Greggy shook his head. "You don't need this. Don't you remember Alcoholics Anonymous? You and I both know what it feels like but if I can overcome it then so can you. Please. For your roses, old chap." To be honest Rod Stick wasn't listening to a thing Gregory Goodwin Pincus was saying until his roses were brought up. How could Rod be so blind? For his roses, his babies...he would do anything. A single tear slid down Marik's cheeks and he slowly put the shots down.
"Petals..." he whispered into the night and everyone in that pub was just about as uncomfortable as you can imagine. Shit. Marik put his arms up high high high to the sky and did a short wiggle before hugging Gregory, his treasure.
"Top of the morning to ya, bartender!" Marik said and hatted off to the guy. Rick did not hat back to him. "I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to ask you to leave" Rick said, crossing his arms threateningly and some bodyguards appeared behind him. How cute. These pathetic mindslaves really thought that they could defeat a Rod Guy. Marik laughed and put his hands up. "Okay, okay. You got me. I was on my way out anyways."
He dropped the taqil on the floor, shattering the glass on impact. Rick made a move for Marik and Pincus but slid on Marik's taqi! Tequile, his oldest and dearest friend, never failed him. It believes in you and so do I. Marik sidestepped over the fallen and bleeding Rick and out the door he goes and back into his motorhome.
"Hello, Petals." Marik greeted, petting her softly. "Sorry about that." He said more to her. The last thing Marik wanted was to worry Petals. Gregory Goodwin Pincus floated slowly out the pub and Marik was tapping his toe impatiently. "GET A MOVE ON, PINCUS" Marik warned but Gregory continued on at the same pace, imitating Roddy's driving. Now maybe Marik would know how it feels.
Eventually Pincy did make it in but by that time Marik was rolling the rods in his eyes and now he was rolling the rods in the motorhome. "YEEEEEEEHAW" Marik said and tippity tapped on the pedals and they were very slowly off. Bye, pub. Or soon it would be bye, pub because right now the pub was still very much there but whatever. It's the thought that counts.
"Um, Marik. If you do not mind me asking, how much longer until we arrive at Lake Destiny?" Grego asked kindly and Marik took out the map. He was still driving. "Well from where we are now we've got a couple more miles to go." Marik saided it and Gregory gulped. "That didn't answer my question" he said but Marik had already put the map back away in rod storage. It's futile, Gregory Goodwin Pincus.
He sighed long and big, it looked like it was going to be an even longer trip than he thought. But wait, in the distance? What could it be? "Rod Guy what is that?" He gestured to the thing and Marik yodeled in shock, slamming on the brakes. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Rod Job screamed so loud it could be heard all across the land because right here, right now, Roddy was seeing it. There in the road, an injured flower, desperate and lost and dying.
"I...I can't just stand here, Gregory!" Marik cried out and PUMMELED through the door of his motorhome without opening the door while Gregory Goodwin Pincus could do nothing but watch from the sidelines. All around them cars were crashing into each other a lot like last night because Marik still hadn't learned his lesson about parking in the middle of a highway. But can you blame him? If a flower is in trouble he will do anything to save them. Anything, I tell you.
Things beyong your wildest dreams.
In a jiffy he had her, cradling her droopy petals (but not Petals) in his hands. "It's okay" Marik crooned. "I'm here now. You don't have to be scared anymore." And he picked her up, the most beautiful daisy he had ever seen in his life. Quickly Marik hurried back into the minivan, sheilding her from any further harm.
Being an expert gardener like Marik is, he knew just what to do and took out one of his extra flowerpots with soil already installed and put her in. "I will call you... Faith" he said and there was no turning back. The bond between Marik and his flowers was something unbreakable, unbelievable, unchangable. Something that goes deep, much like Marik's rod can. Roddy picked up the speed slightly, he needed to get Faith medical attention. Currently the motorhome was going a little over 12mph. The speed limit was 55.
Marik knew what he had to do. He grabbed his phone and dialed 911. "HELLO POLICE I'VE GOT A FLOWER IN DANGER. FAITH, MY DAISY, SHE NEEDS HELP!" Marik screamed. The police hanged up the phone. They were familiar with the Rod Man and of course wanted no part of this. "HELP ME!" Rod screamed it again into the dead line. Soon his DAISY was going to be a dead line, minus the line part! What the FUCKING SHIT was he going to do?!
"Marik, calm down. Don't you remember? You have something that the hospital doesn't." Gregory wised and put a hand on Marik's shoulder. Rod Stick looked up at him with rods in his eyes and heart as well. But it looked like he didn't understand so Gregy sighed and handed him the sprinkler. "Her life is in your hands now." He said and Marik widened. "Again...again and again Gregory saves me." he whispered to the night as for the second time Gregory Goodwin Pincus knows exactly the words to say. Marik grabbed his sprinkler and sprayed his liquid all over Faith. "Grow, darling. Grow." And grow she did, the powerful fluids were sucked up by her chlorophyll stuff and made her wounds disappear. It was truly a sight to be seen and one of God's finest miracles. "We did it! By gosh, we did it Marik." Greggo looked at the flower fondly as Rod cradled her in his arms.
Faith had healed now but... what kind of disgusting human could fucking do something like that to a beautiful flower like her? Marik's grip on the wheel tightened.
Someone would pay for this.