"TONIIIIIGHTS I'M GONNA HAVE MYSEEEEELF A REAL GOOD TIME" Marik Ishtar, welder of the rod squacked loud and proud. Right now he was not welding his trusty Mill Rod. though, all he had in his claws was Bleach, and he was gulping it down into his mouth hole by the gallon. "I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out Yeah!
I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time
I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me
I'm burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you" He sang louder and louder until glass in the Walmart doors and windows all shattered. Bleach dribbled down his chin. But he wasn't done yet. During his song and dance number just now, he had only consumed 60 of his 72 canisters of Bleach and his thirst was not quenched. "SIR" Miranda Cosgrove pounded her fists onto his muscular calf from down below. It was as far as she could reach. Marik narrowed. "Pesky" he said and slapped her away.
She flew back at least a speed of 300 miles per hour and slammed into the taco aisle. Marik howled in triumph when he saw them topple to the floor. He took another swig of Bleach and stomped over. The floor was rumbling with every giant step. "DON'T STOP ME now CAUSE IM HAVING A GOOD TIME don't stop me NOW YES I'M HAVING A GOOD TIMe" Marik squinted down at the tacos and raised his rod high in the air in defense. Every taco was vaporized instantly.
"Sir, please calm down and put the Bleach down as well" citizens were pleading, crying for him to have mercy. They loved the tacos. Marik lifted his muzzle to down another canister of Bleach, but no drops arrived on his tongue. "SQUAWK?!" he cried, throwing the thingy onto Miranda Cosgrove's unconcious body. Already, 72 canisters gone, just like that. "Having a good time...having a good time..." The Rod Man was not doing his best and his stomach was definetly not agreeing with all the Bleach consumed.
"INCOMING" he warned before opening his mouth hole as wide as it would go and yuck! Rod Job barfed up all the stuff onto the clean Trader Joes floor. "Better out than in I always say" he gurgled. A Rod Man never cleans up after himself. But it wasn't over yet, and soon the powerful liquids that came out of his powerful stomach began melting, melting melting right through the floor. A job well done for Roddy! He was feeling better already. He turned on huge feet, rodding his way to the exit before he fell and slipped...on a leftover taco. It had avoided his vaporization. "Two hundred degrees that'S WHY THEY CALL ME MR FAHRENHEIT" The Rod was raised in the air again, the screams were back.
Back in the 1600s, the bulbs of tulips symbolized immortality, life, and even love. During that time these flowers were more valuable than gold.
To Rod Guy, it never stopped.
BOOM! The most powerful beam yet shot out of his rod at a speed unseeable by the human eye. It was seeable by Marik though. A Rod Man always sees, much like God. I'd be careful if I were you. But anyways, that taco was dead meat and now rotting in the deep pits of Hell (those pits are almost as deep as the one now in the place where the taco once lay cold) along with all the sinners who consume them. Read the bible. It's the forbidden fruit.
Marik stood up and tried to dust himself off but because there was a lot of blood on his clothes all he did was smear it in more. "I'M TRAVELLING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT" He whipped around to look the few remaining Walmart employees and customers that were left alive. "I WANNA MAKE A SUPERSONIC MAN OUT OF YOU" He announced and with that, he was gone. There was more Bleach clasped tightly in his hands.
Meanwhile at Fred Meyers, the lovely Trader Joes emplyees were doing their versy best to sweep up the taco meat from their floor. Cheerful music played it's heart away in the background, and Francis the dog sat perched on the check out counter. Suddenly, Francis started growling and barking. Something was very wrong. "Francis? What's wrong, can you smell something in the Albertsons store?" Trader Joe asked Francis the Dog. That was all the warning they had. They should have listened, but it was too late.
"SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING" A ROD MAN IS PUMMELING THROUGH THE DOOR! "IN THE LANE, SNOW IS GLISTENING" He sang and sang with all he had in him, one canister of Bleach in his hand and the other currently being guzzled down his huge muscular mouth hole. This was not in the training manual! Stomp! Stomp! Was the sound of the Rod Man barreling his way through the crowed of the friendly employees, stopping for no one.
Domino(Rod) City was in absolute ruin from the Rod Man's wrath. Entire buildings were crushed by his large and powerful foot, bringing an end to all the human lives within them in a split second. "YIP YIP" Said Francis The Dog. "I know, boy. I'm scared too." replied the Trader Joe employee. Francis jumped down from the floor to the counter, his little paws hitting the ground with a faint click because of his cute claws. They were painted pink which was Francis' most favorite color but do not worry because it was non toxic.
"Francis? Francis?" the Trader Joe called out in concern. "Bark... bark woof." Francis the dog said and shook his head. "Woof. Woof. Woof." Francis knew what he had to do, and there was nothing that could stop it. This was the only way. "PLEASE DON'T! I NEED YOU!" The trader joe said. His hand was outstretched to Francis the dog but Francis was already out the door... and his destination was the Rod Man.
The Rod Man's bellows made it easy for Francis to find him, even though his legs were small and so he had very tiny steps compared to the giant Marik Ishtar wreaking havoc on his beloved city. "MWAGH MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" the Rod Man squacked and slapped an airplane right out of the sky with a swish of his pinky finger. Francis couldn't reach him from all the way down here! Uh oh.
A huge building that was almost as tall as the Rod Man was right beside him and Francis was swiftly running as fast as those cute little legs of his could carry him to the elevator. He jumped up high and pressed the button. "Woof" said Francis to the people inside of the elevator when it reached his floor and then he was on his way again to the tippity top of the building.
Francis stepped out of the elevator and into the cold night air and looked up into the eyes of the Rod Man. He should have been more scared than he had ever been in his doggy life but... he wasn't. All Francis felt was pity. The Rod Man was dying. "WOOF" said Francis the dog to the Rod Man. Marik looked at the small dog named Francis and visibly softened. "Woof." Said the Rod Man. Finally. His voice had reached him.
"Woof Woof Woof Woof!" said Francis the Dog. "I know." The Rod Man replied, turning his humongous head away so that Francis could not see the tears that were bubbling. "I was doing so good." He was getting weaker, visibly narrowing and narrowing and narrowing with just the mere presence of Francis the Dog. "Woof Woof!" said Francis. And it was true. "Thank you" whispered the Rod Man. And that was that, the clouds floated away and a ray of sun beamed on the Rod Guy and his new friend. "Hmph. Choking" Marik said and rodded his way back home.
"Roses I'm home!" Gee, it sure was good to be home. Rod Job kneeled down into the sweet sweet dirt where his garden lay. "Oh my God Maki-chan have you GROWN?" he squawked with glee, and did a little clap too that kinda reminded him of his Mindslave of course, Bakura. "Nico-chan has a new leaf too, I'm so proud of you girls." Every day his roses never failed to make a smile rod it's way onto his muscular lips. "Everything's going to be ok, I think. I feel it in my fingers." He grabbed his watering can and sprinkled a few delicate drops on Umi-chan's delicate petals. "I feel it in my toes."
Marik looked deeply into the eyes(?) of Nozomi-chan. "I'm sorry I have to cut the reuninion short, roses but... there's something I've gotta do." It was quiet for a long moment in his garden. Roddy sighed deep from in his buff chest. "I can't take you with me, Kotori-chan. Not this time." He patted her on her petals, tenderly stroking each one. This wasn't easy for him but sometimes sacrifices have to be made. "Eli-chan, I'm going to miss you too." A single tear bubbled and ran slowly down his cheek.
"Rin-chan, look after Hanayo-chan... and Honoka-chan?" Marik paused. "Keep up the good work. I'm so proud of you." And with that, it was time to go. He reluctantly lifted himself out of the dirt, giving one last look to the beautiful flowers - no, the beautiful family, that he was leaving behind.
This was goodbye but... not forever. He revved up the motors and put his fire boosters into maximum overdrive. "Yeehaw" Marik said in a serious voice and then tipped his cowboy hat. He arrived at the airport in seconds. When walking through to door, the entire airport went silent. Reasonably so, you never know what you might say to set the Rod Man off but now was not the time.
Marik put his hands into the air where the policemen could see him. "Don't worry guys. Not today. It's time for me to make things right, if you'll let me." he said and cracked a smile. Everyone was still uneasy. "What do you want, Rod Guy? Haven't you done enough?" A policeman said. He was in an entire bodycast from head to toe. It was not a good look.
"Is there a pilot in this airport willing to take me to the Atlantic Ocean?" Marik asked. Silence followed. "IS THERE A FUCKING PILOT IN THIS AIRPORT WILLING TO TAKE ME TO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN?" He said louder this time. More silence. Marik raised his rod but then lowered it, then his head, and started to walk back out the door. "I'll take you" came a voice from the crowed of scared civilians. When Marik turned around he could barely believe the Rods in his eyes. Standing there before him decked out to the nines in full pilot gear was the one, the only... Emma Watson. She was always there when Marik needed her most.
With a little frown, she adjusted her pilot goggles to fit her perfectly sculpted head better. "Are you coming or not?" Emma Watson snapped. She feared no one, not even a Rod Man. "Of course I am Emma Watson!" Roddy gurgled out of his mouth hole. Emma Watson nodded firmly and then led Roddy out to her own plane which she is the pilot of. Marik buckled himself into the co-pilot seat. "Hey. Hi. Hello. How's it goin'?" Rod Job said. Emma Watson put her pilot goggles over her eyes and then plugged in her headphones, thouroughly ignoring Marik completely. She was all business today. Then, they were off!
The duo of Marik and Emma Watson were zooming, flying through the sky at altitudes beyong your wildest dreams. After a lot of that zooming, Marik looked out the window and frowned. "We're here" Emma Watson declared. They were here. The last time Marik had been to this location, a bunch of little islands had been floating around but now it was completely empty.
Marik rodded himself out of the airplane and then dived, deep deep into the sea. It was so dark down there. Who turned out the lights, mindslave? Choking. CHOKING. CHOKING. DROWNING. I CAN'T SEE. But then he is seeing it, he is seeing an island! "ALOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Marik squacked as hard as he could and lots of little bubbles came out of his mouth. With the force of a thousand Rod Men, his screams launched the tiny Hawaii island back up and into the sky where it belonged. The other ones soon followed even though Marik had not done anything to those guys. Roddy swam back up to the surface and climbed onto his brand new beach. Finders keepers. "Surfs up, Emma" Marik said and gave Emma Watson a thumbs up.
The legend of the Rod Bob had begun long ago, it had been a terrible story of a terrible man doing such terrible, terrible things. That man didn't want that legacy, not anymore. It was time for a change.
A new chapter of the Rod Bob's tale was to be written and this time not in blood.