The Diego Diaries: Telephono 1 (dd3 425)
0-At the bosom of love
"I live here."
"Where is here, darling?" the nice lady in Topeka, Kansas said as she juggled two phones, one to the infant on the line and another to the police trying to trace it to see if she was okay. "Where is your house, angel?" the lady asks.
Hero considered that, then remembered the name. "Autobot City."
Sandy from Topeka took a moment in shocked silence. "Baby … where do you live?"
Hero smiled gigantically. This cell phone actually talked to her with different sentences than the play one from school. "I live at Autobot City. Its on Mars."
Sandy from Topeka considered that as her feverish mind assimilating the news. This baby was either nuts or telling the truth. "What's your ada's name, baby?"
"Ratchet. My ada is Ratchet and my atar is Ironhide. My Other Ada is Ravel. My Other Ada is also Alor." Hero smiled brilliantly waiting for the 'play' phone to do more magic.
A pause happened, then Sandy was back. "Baby, what does it look like around your house … where you are?"
Hero smiled as Spot walked out and licked her face. She laughed. "My dog is here."
"Your dog?" Sandy asked as the door opened and people began to file inside. She considered her presence of mind to do her hair and makeup before getting her coffee that morning as cameras began to focus on her. She smiled, then listened to the baby at the other end. "You have a dog?"
"Spot. Our dog is Spot. He licked my face!" Hero said with a sweet chuckle. "He's the dog of my brother, Sunspot, but he plays with me, too."
"I see. What else is going on, Hero?" Sandy asked.
The tiny voice was quiet a moment, then back again. "Everyone is recharging."
"What is … are you in your house?" Sandy asked.
"I am. I'm here. Everyone is in their bed. I woke up by myself," she said with a giant smile. This phone was having a chat with her. It was awesome. "Do you want to talk to my Other Ada?"
Sandy then guessed. "Okay, baby."
"Hold on," Hero said putting the big phone down. She walked to the door and pulled her little step stool over. Opening it, she stepped down and got her phone. Walking to the door, she walked into the hall and considered the choices possible. "Do you want to see one of them?"
"Who, baby?" Sandy asked with confusion.
"My Other Ada or my Other Ada?" Hero asked.
"Okay. Uh … you choose, baby. Are you safe?" Sandy asked ever the ada herself.
"I am. I'm in the hall," Hero said.
"The hall?" Sandy asked with a touch of foreboding.
"Yes, I'm in the hall. Wait a minute," she said walking to the door closest. She rapped on it and waited. "No one is coming."
"Baby, maybe you better go back to your own house," Sandy said with a bit of concern.
"I hear someone," Hero said.
The sound of a door opening was heard over the speaker phone as everyone listened, reporter, newscaster and police included. "Hero?" Sandy asked with concern. They heard a voice talking with surprise in a language no one understood.
"Other Ada, there's someone on my phone," Hero was heard to say. "Do you want to talk to them?"
The sound of a hand taking the phone could be heard, then a voice asked something in a language Sandy didn't know. Sandy then answered. "Hello?"
A moment's pause ensued, then a male sounding voice with a sweet tone answered. "Hello? Who's this please?"
"My name is Sandy. Hero called me." Sandy waited.
"Oh. Oh my," the sweet male voice replied. "Um, wait a moment please. Hero," the voice said as another could be heard in the background, another male voice. "Infant, go see Grandatar. I'll get ada."
"I like my phone, Other Ada. Do you want to talk a while?" Hero could be heard saying.
"I will, baby. Go with Grandatar," the voice said. It was muffled a moment, then the voice was back. "Hello?"
"Hi. I'm Sandy."
"I'm Ravel. If you can wait a moment, I'll have my son speak to you. Can you wait a moment?" Ravel asked with a bit of uncertainty.
"I can," Sandy said nodding. "I'd love to speak to him."
Ravel considered that. "Alright." Then he walked to the door of the apartment which was open. Spot was standing in the middle of it watching Hero. He moved forward to enter Ravel's apartment after her.
Ravel entered and walked quietly to the berth room where Ratchet and Ironhide lay sleeping oblivious to everything. Ravel touched Ratchet's shoulder, the big bot slowly coming to sentience. :Ratchet?:
Ratchet looked up with a bit of surprise. :Ada?:
:Can you come here a moment?: Ravel asked, then turned to the door.
Ratchet rose and followed swiftly. Ravel was going into the hallway so Ratchet followed filled with concern. Ravel closed the door, then held up the phone. "Hero came to our door with this. She's talking to someone. I think, son, that she's talking to a human somehow. They say they're called Sandy."
Ratchet blinked, then took the phone. He gathered himself, then said, "Hello?"
"Hi. Who are you? I'm Sandy."
"Uh, hi, Sandy. I'm Ratchet."
There was a pause, then an excited voice came back on. "Are you the Autobot Ambassador? That Ratchet? Am I talking to Martians?"
Ratchet considered that, then grinned slightly. "Yes, you are. But how?"
"I was standing here getting my coffee when the phone rang. There was a little baby on the other line and we talked. I was concerned that she was alone and then left her house. Is she alright?" Sandy asked, ever the grandmother as well.
Ratchet glanced at Ravel who nodded. "She's with Tie."
"She is, Sandy. Thank you," Ratchet replied. "My parents live next door to us and she was headed there. Where are you actually?"
"I live in Topeka. In Kansas on Earth. In the United States. Uh, Campbell Road to be precise." Sandy was nearly hyperventilating with excitement.
"Oh. I'm surprised that Hero was able to call out that far." Ratchet glanced at the doorway. Hero was in Tie Down's arms smiling brilliantly as she listened. "She has a toy phone and probably thought this was the same thing."
"I think she's wonderful. You know, I have a trip planned to Autobot City in less than a month. Would it be possible to see her when we come? I'd love to hug her. I can imagine she's beyond adorable," Sandy said with excitement.
Ratchet chuckled. "You won't get any disagreements from me. I'm bookmarking your number. I'll send you a picture of Hero. When are you coming to the city for the tour?"
"September 19th," Sandy said with excitement. "We've been on the list for almost a year. We can't wait. I'm coming with my husband, my two kids and their families. I'd love to see her and you as well. I never miss the shows and I watch your appearances as an ambassador. By the way, we're all on your side in our family. Thank you and your people for helping us be safe."
Ratchet grinned. "It's our honor and duty, Sandy. We'll be looking for your arrival. I'll also make sure that Hero plays with the right phone, too."
"I would hope she calls again. I bet she's adorable," Sandy said. "I'm a mother and grandmother myself. There's nothing like a baby in the family. I hear that you have a new one."
Ratchet grinned. "Prowler is new. We have five of dependent age."
"You have more courage than me. I have three grandchildren and when they go home at night I'm worn out," Sandy said with a chuckle. "Lucky you."
"I think so. Seven of my own, three grandchildren. Life is good."
"I think so," Sandy said.
"Thank you for being a sport, Sandy. Please give my regards to all your family and we'll look for you on the 19th."
"It was my great pleasure I assure you, Ambassador," Sandy said. Then they hung up. Sandy turned to the dozens of observers crammed into her kitchen with a smile. "I JUST HAD A CHAT WITH ALIENS!"
-0-On Mars
Ratchet stared at the device, then looked at his daughter who grinned with an almost impossibly wide grin. "Hero, you are a caution."
"I talked to the phone, Ada. It talked to me," she said with great happiness.
"You sure did," Ratchet said with a chuckle.
-0-At the meeting
"Oh Primus. She talked to a human?" Prowl asked aghast. "How?"
"I don't know. I told the Exchange and they said they'd get on it," Ratchet said sitting back with a huge grin. "That little femme is going to be the death of me."
"I thought Orion was," Jazz said grinning himself.
"He is, too," Ironhide said. "He and Han got into it and tried to bury themselves in the outside sand box when they weren't hitting each other on the helm with their shovels."
A great deal of laughter met that.
"Tell me again why sparking is our patriotic duty," Springer said with a grin.
"Tell me what you were doing on Earth, Springer," Ratchet asked leaning back in his chair as he folded his arms over his chassis, smirk firmly in place. "Details, mech."
Springer grinned at his secret ada and shrugged. "We met up with Michael Bay and had a heart to spark chat."
Optimus snorted as he sat on his chair holding Prowler who he ordered out of carry hold when 'good of the order' came around.
Ironhide had slid him over and the two were communing about a colorful detail on Prime's chassis in between guffaws over Hero and Orion. "Details, Springer. Consider that an order if you need one."
"He'd do it for love, right, Springer? Former missus and all," Jazz interjected to enormous laughter.
Springer tossed a half eaten donut at Jazz, then turned to Prime with a grin. "I flew myself and Drift over. We relieved him of his cars and took their places. Then we had a not so satisfying conversation about respect."
"He doesn't have any. HE KILLED ME! IRONHIDE! CHAOS BRINGER OF THE AUTOBOTS! ALL AROUND SLAYER OF SLAGGERS! COSMIC RUST! WHAT THE FRAG IS COSMIC RUST!?" Ironhide said in his usual manner.
Alor leaned over holding out his thumb. "Go ahead. You know you want to."
Guffaws certain to be heard on Io by frustrated would-be lovers of winged younglings erupted as Alor sat back with a satisfied grin.
"No wonder I'm a slagger with an Ada like you," Ironhide said with a grin.
"Awww," Optimus said sitting Prowler up on his chassis. The baby looked at him, then the others with a giant smile. "Your atar is a doofus. Live with me."
"Fat chance, Prime. Spark that old mech of yours and get your own," Ironhide said with a grin.
"You're both crybabies," Blackjack said glancing at Prime and Ironhide both. "Spark yourself."
"Spark yourself," Ironhide countered.
"You don't think I won't?" Blackjack countered.
Ironhide looked at him with fear and loathing a moment, recognizing the expression on his father's face. "Uh, no. That's alright, Atar. Sir."
Snorts and smirks went around the room, then Prime vented a sigh. "Hero. Aptly named little femme."
"I thought so. Sunspot is a smart little mech naming her that," Ratchet said proudly.
"So we have to put on a show when Sandy and her crew get here?" Jazz asked.
"I think it would be great," Ratchet said. "We can invite her and the family for a special side trip before she goes back. Least we can do for little femme getting her up so early."
Ironhide nodded. "I prefer doing the least we can do."
"What else is new," Blackjack said eyeing his son with a gimlet optic. "Ratchet does all the work."
"You got him conned," Ironhide said glancing at Ratchet. "If he knew ya like I did-"
"Ratchet does no wrong," Blackjack said giving Ratchet a wink. "Remember that, Ironhide."
Flint on screen snickered. "That's a truism if I ever heard one."
"Now tell my genitors that then," Ratchet said to utter and loudly held scorn and derision.
Percy who was watching the show shook his helm.
"What, Perceptor?" Wheeljack asked with a grin.
"I really don't see how a conversation where we want to find out about Bay becomes a chat about sparking, tattling and outright fantasies about Ratchet's infallibility."
The place burst into laughter as a slight smirk appeared on Perceptor's handsome face. He glanced at Ratchet who nodded to him as he laughed. "Good one, Percy."
"I know," he sniffed bringing another round of slag to the room.
Prime who was guffawing looked at Springer. "Continue, Mrs. Prime."
A slap from Prowl and a guffaw from the room settled, then Springer shrugged again. "Drift and I planned a few things for Bay to let him know we're interested in his movie for something more than artistic reasons."
"On please," Jetta said with a giant smile. "Do tell."
"Do any of you know what anchovies are?" Drift asked with a grin.
-0-On a set in Detroit, Michigan, Earth
"WHAT THE FRAG DO YOU *MEAN* I ORDERED 300 ANCHOVY AND JALAPENO PIZZAS!?" -Bay
"Uh, sir," the craft services person began. "We have the invoice here. You paid for it by card.
"WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* I PAID FOR IT BY CARD!?" -Bay
If Bay had really listened he could have heard the laughter from Mars.
-0-TBC September 7, 2013 7-28-19