Reasons why NOT to join the Fellowship of the ring

by Elleth of Hidden Lore

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

2. Reason 2

I am glad people are into the idea of this fic! I hope you continue to like it as more reasons, both reasonable and weird, come up.

This goes to Random reader I could not reply to through PM. Thank a lot for being my first reviewer! You will be surprised for the many that will appear. If you ever want to make suggestions you can either put them in a review or PM me.

If anyone has a reason they would like to share you are most welcome to put in in the review or PM.

2- Not enough sleep.

It is as plain and simple as that. Gandalf does not seem to realize that not all of us are accustomed to sleep three to four hours per day! So that was when the trouble really started for me. When someone came to wake me up I would just ignore them and try to continue sleeping. Of course try to sleep when at least five men are yelling at you to get up. One time Boromir emptied his canteen on me, but I simply pretended I was not annoyed and that I had been looking forward for a bath and this was as close as it got. When I said "Well I did want to take a bath. How kind of you to help me bathe, though I would prefer you did it somewhere more private instead of in front of everyone," the man's face exploded in red. It is just too easy to make these men get embarrassed and blush. He left mumbling a curse, which is nothing new to me.

Once, Gimli was the one who tried to wake me up by shaking me violently. I got up, grabbed his hand and bit his index finger. Don't ever bite a dwarf's finger! They are hairy, smelly, sweathy since they are in leather gloves all day, and they taste like old pig meat! It took me two days to completely get rid of the awful flavor. One day they decided they've had enough of me so when refused to get up they decided to tie a rope at my feet and between Aragorn and Boromir I was dragged through half of Middle earth. I was screaming and cursing so they gaged so that my screams would not call the attention of an enemy, and because the profanities that I was yelling were "Death pain" worthy. Poor hobbits, they were truly shaken by the words that left my mouth that day. After that they threatened to do it again if I ever refused to get up.

I will try to update daily since most of it is already done and they are not long. Like I said before, anyone who wishes to give ideas is welcome by review or PM.