Cross Pollination

"Hello Grandpa," Ranma said, startling Yosho, who'd thought he was impossible to sneak up on. Ranma leaned back just enough to let the bokken pass through where her throat had been before straightening up. "Good reflexes for an old guy."

"And you are?" Yosho asked.

"Ranma Saotome," she said bluntly. "A dryad told me to come here."

"Saotome," he said thoughtfully before his eyes narrowed. "You would be Genma Saotome's child then?"

"As well as Nodoka's," Ranma pointed out. "The daughter you drove away."

"I did not drive her away," Yosho defended himself. "I blame her mother."

"Uh huh, sure," Ranma agreed in a tone that said she didn't.

"So why are you here?" Yasho asked his face as still as stone.

"I told you, a dryad told me to come here."

"A dryad?" Yasho asked doubtfully.

"Yes, a female tree spirit," Ranma said, completely unbothered by Yosho's tone. "Depending on the tree and season they usually have hair colors that range from green to red, but this was the first one I've seen with blue hair."

"Excuse me?"

"A blue haired female tree spirit told me to come here," Ranma explained slowly as if talking to a small child. "Otherwise I wouldn't bother as you're a worse father than Genma and that takes some doing."

Yosho froze like he'd been run through.

"I mean, sure the old panda may have put me through some things that are so far beyond child abuse they deserve individual mention in the Geneva Convention, but at least he never simply abandoned me because it was too much trouble to raise me." Without waiting for a reply she turned and left.

Ranma bounced down the steps leading from the shrine to the lake like she hadn't a care in the world, but then she was used to hiding her true thoughts and feelings… from strangers anyway. Something about those she considered friends or family just cut through all her defenses most of the time. Reaching the bottom of the stairs she took a look around. There was a good sized lake next to the house with a small dock, which seemed pointless as there weren't any boats attached to it. The house itself looked well cared for, a two story building with plenty of space. Ranma was at a loss as to why there were so many carrot patches, unless it was a big cash crop locally it seemed a waste.

The large tree that the shrine was known for and was rumored to have healing powers, felt like a Ki bonfire to her senses, but she supposed that was what a dryad's main tree looked like. They usually went to such great lengths to hide and protect their main tree that Ranma didn't think it was worth the effort to find one just to sate her curiosity. Continuing to the house she heard the muffled sounds of fighting coming through the door. Ignoring it she rang the bell. The sounds of fighting ceased instantly and it sounded like a lot of high speed straightening was going on. Less than a minute later a familiar face answered the door, "Hello, I'm Sasami. How can I help you?"

"An older version of you sent me here," Ranma said, noting her aura and matching it to the blue haired dryad he'd met earlier. The rabbit like creature on her head wasn't even worth noting. It was a little unusual, but she knew less than nothing about Dryad saplings. For all she knew that little creature was the typical sapling headgear, specifically bred to eat termites or chase off squirrels.

"Really?" Sasami asked, waving her inside. "What did she say?"

"She said I needed a vacation and it'd give me a chance to meet some of the more sane members of my family."

"Who's your family?" a woman with cyan colored hair and eyes like a snake asked intently, bringing Ranma's attention to the rest of the house's inhabitants. There was a girl with red hair that looked to be about a third of her mass, and somehow managed to have double D breasts despite looking 12, who was scanning Ranma with something, while a blond woman with a deep tan and slightly pointed ears looked over her shoulder.

Something about the blond both attracted and repelled him. She wasn't sure what it was, but decided he could figure it out later.

"The old man at the shrine is my grandfather," Ranma replied.

"Really?" a black haired boy with his hair in a pig tail asked in shock.

"Yep."

The boy quickly rushed over to introduce himself but caught his toe on something and started to fall forward towards Ranma's cleavage. Having half expected something like this Ranma quickly switched herself with the woman with snake eyes, much to her enjoyment as she wrapped her arms around him and kept his face in her cleavage."

"How did you do that and where did your shirt go?" a purple haired woman demanded, that had been behind the boy and hadn't noticed it was now on the person with the eyes like a snake.

"It's called Kawari and for some reason I always lose my shirt while doing it," Ranma replied, her hand darting out and filching the shirt back and putting it on without unbuttoning it… somehow.

"You can let Lord Tenchi loose, she has her shirt on again," the purple haired woman said irritably.

The snake eyed woman reluctantly released Tenchi's head.

The red faced boy cleared his throat and took a couple of deep breaths. "Sorry about that."

"Don't sweat it," Ranma replied. "It happens enough that I'm not sure it's not another curse I picked up somewhere."

"Introductions?" the purple haired woman suggested firmly.

"I'm Ranma Saotome, grandchild of the priest from his daughter Nodoka's."

"I'm Tenchi Misaki, grandson of the priest from his daughter, Achika."

"I am Washu Hakubi, the greatest scientist in the universe!" the little red head cackled, a small puppet version of himself appearing on each shoulder and throwing confetti while holding up little signs reading 'Washu #1'.

"Remind me to get a set of those puppets," Ranma said, thinking of how cool she'd look and how much it would piss Ryoga off if Ranma had a pair that'd pop up proclaiming him the world's greatest martial artist.

"I'm Ryoko Hakubi," the woman with the snake eyes said before wrapping herself around Tenchi. "Tenchi's intended."

"What?!" the purple haired woman growled tiny logs appearing in the air around her, sparkling with power, until an elbow to the side from the young dryad brought her back to herself and they suddenly vanished. "I'm Ayeka Jurai, Tenchi's intended!"

Ranma started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Ryoko demanded.

"It's genetic. I'm here to escape my fiancées for a while myself," Ranma explained. "My father engaged me to a number of girls and I have others who are chasing me as well."

"He didn't engage you to any men?" Ayeka asked confused.

"He's tried before, but I think I've got him trained out of that. Now if I could get him to take responsibility for engaging me to so many girls while insisting I just marry one of them…" Ranma sighed. "MY life would be a lot less stressful."

"Not interested in guys huh?" Washu asked.

"Not remotely," Ranma said firmly. "And there are times when the girls are such a handful I'm even off them for a bit."

"Mihoshi Kuramitsu," Mihoshi introduced herself, "Galaxy Police Officer."

"She means private detective," Tenchi quickly said. "She's really into cosplay."

Before Mihoshi could say anything Washu moved so fast she practically teleported in front of Ranma. "Would you mind running some tests for me? I'll cook you lots of yummy food!" Washu fluttered her eyebrows and gripped her arm tightly.

"Awww," Ranma said falling for her cute attack. "Sure I will Washu-chan, but I have to warn you I eat like a sumo wrestler on a good day and on days where I have to exert myself I eat even more."

"So as long as I provide a lot of food you'll be my guinea pig?" Washu squealed excitedly.

Ranma ignored the horrified expressions of the people around the room. "As long as it's food you don't mind eating as well."

"Excellent clause," Washu said. "My daughter can't cook to save her life. She has no taste buds, so I'm at least partially at fault though."

Ranma examined Washu carefully and everyone froze thinking she'd given the game away with her unthinking comment. "Deaged?" Ranma asked to which Washu grudgingly nodded. "I had the same thing happen to me. I was stuck for almost two days as a five year old. Fortunately I took precautions against it happening again!"

Washu opened her mouth to say something, but Ranma pulled a mushroom out of nowhere and popped it in her mouth. Washu's eyes widened as she felt herself involuntarily shifting into an older form.

"I have a hard time getting the mushrooms to grow much past sixteen," she said apologetically, "but at least now you don't have to go through twelve to sixteen again."

Washu examined herself, thankful her clothes were her special Washu brand shape shifting clothes, and found she was physically sixteen again, albeit with curves that mirrored Mihoshi's. Her sixteen year old self wasn't normally blessed with her current measurements, but she'd altered her twelve year old form to annoy her daughter and this appeared to be a natural development from those stats.

"I-I'm speechless," Ayeka faintly said, as everyone stared in shock.

"That Ranma could hide a sixteen centimeter mushroom on her with no bulge or that Washu could swallow one at age twelve with no trouble?" Mihoshi asked curiously, causing nearly everyone to turn red, the only exceptions being Ranma and Sasami who didn't get what the others were thinking and causing Ayeka to sputter.

Washu recovered her composure. "That was amazing! Do you have any more of those?"

"Yes, but they're not all that large and I don't want to uproot them."

"I'll have to see about building a place to plant some," Washu said thoughtfully. "But first I must get you into my lab!"

Tenchi gave off a loud fake laugh. "She means she has to get her equipment from the closet she stores them in," he said nervously.

Washu sighed. "Yes, that is exactly what I meant."

"So, how long are you staying?"

"The dryad didn't say, but presumably until I've recovered enough that I stop breaking people's arms for attacking me," Ranma said absently.

"Breaking arms?" Sasami asked.

"Yes. I get attacked four or five time a day by guys who claim they love the girls chasing after me and normally I'm fine with that, but yesterday their reckless attacks almost hurt an innocent bystander, so I broke the right arm of both Ryoga and Mousse!"

"How do you know the bystander was innocent?" Ryoko asked cynically.

"It was a twelve year old girl who'd thrown herself over a five year old boy to protect him from harm."

"Sounds like you did the right thing to me," Ryoko said.

"Of course then Kuno showed up, to declare his love for me by trying to grab me, so I broke his arm as well. I don't take kindly to people who don't know the meaning of the world no and think my breasts are convenient handholds."

"Sounds reasonable," Ryoko agreed, still not seeing any problems.

"I thought that as well," Ranma agreed. "So I headed home. When I got home, one of my fiancées yells at me for picking on Pig-boy and rips the mail box out of the ground to hit me with it. So naturally…"

"Broke her arm?" Washu guessed.

"Of course. Then both our fathers pop up and start yelling at me and attempt to make me marry her on the spot and apologize for defending myself."

"Broke their arms?" Tenchi guessed.

"Legs actually, both of them. I really don't need them following me around and harping on honor while attacking me for not obeying their wishes."

"I'm still not seeing a problem," Ryoko said.

"Neither did I," Ranma said with a shrug. "However, Nabiki, Akane's older sister starts tearing into me about how she's going to make my life a living hell."

"Broken arm?" Ayeka asked.

"No, I simply called the police and had her arrested for her numerous crimes. She likes to make money off me and doesn't care how, so between the illegal betting ring she set up and the photos she took of me while I slept, she was easy to get rid of."

"And they didn't arrest you for breaking arms?" Mihoshi asked.

"It was self-defense each time," Ranma replied. "Of course the fact that I was then attacked by Pig-boy and Akane in sight of the police really helped clear up any lingering doubts."

"Yeah, that'd do it," Ryoko agreed.

"Then Kasumi, Akane's eldest sister came out and insisted I eat some of her imported chocolate and drink some peppermint tea. I dislike being told what to do, but Kasumi is a very kind and gentle person, so I gave her a swat on the ass and then a great big hug and told her how much I appreciate all she does for me."

Ryoko grinned. "Huge blush and stuttering with a tiny smile?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Domestic types tend to want a strong hand," Ryoko explained "Being forced to be strong for everyone else, means they need someone they can be weak with. That swat on the ass probably made her week."

"Oh!" Ranma said in understanding, while everyone else's eyes turned to Sasami.

Sasami stood there with a frown on her face as Ryoki had covered her ears with her paws and her eyes with her ears. Sasami took Ryoki off her head. "What was that for?"

Ryoki moved and licked her nose.

"Silly Ryoki," Sasami said fondly cuddling the cabbit.

"So what happened then?" Mihoshi asked.

"Then Kasumi invited my mother and Shampoo's Grandmother over for dinner along with my fiancée Ukyo and my Amazon wife Shampoo."

"Amazon wife?" chorused the household.

"Defeat an Amazon in battle as a woman and they'll hunt you to the end of the earth to kill you and regain their honor, do it as a man and they are considered married to you by their laws," Ranma explained.

"Oh," came the chorus as they decided that a lesbian counted as a man to an Amazon.

"It was a peaceful dinner for once, lots of polite conversation, Shampoo didn't get too grabby, though her grandmother had to whack her in the head with her cane a few times to keep it that way. Mom said I needed a vacation and she'd talk to her mother about the best way to go about it. The next day Sasami's future self rose from the koi pond and told me arrangements had been made and I was to stay at my dead beat Grandfather's place, so here I am. Well, me and Konatsu."

"Konatsu?" Sasami asked.

"Konatsu," Ranma called out and suddenly a female ninja was kneeling at her feet.

The household jumped displaying various defensive positions that Ranma made a note of and ignored.

"Konatsu is the greatest Kunoichi of his generation," Ranma said matter of factly. "He's trained his whole life to serve though I'm not sure why he's following me."

"Ukyo-sama thought you might find use for me in keeping others away while you relaxed Ranma-dono."

"Thank you, Konatsu-chan, that's very thoughtful of you."

"I live but to serve," Konatsu said before fading from sight while kneeling in place, shocking the locals.

"He?" Tenchi asked while Ryoko waved her hand through the space Konatsu had been kneeling at.

"Bit of a tragic tale," Ranma explained. "He actually had an evil step mother and evil stepsisters like in Cinderella, and they raised him to be a female ninja. Me and Uk-chan rescued him, earning his eternal loyalty. I generally have no need for a personal retainer while he's a big help to Ukyo in running her okonomiyaki restaurant so he stays with her."

"You've led a very interesting life, haven't you?" Washu asked fascinated.

"Magic, mayhem and martial arts," Ranma said. "I've apparently had a bit too much excitement and so here we are."

"We may have to rearrange everyone so you have your own room," Sasami said thoughtfully.

"She can stay with me," Mihoshi quickly spoke up.

"Are you sure?" Ranma asked. "I have made my preferences quite clear so I don't cause any confusion."

"Of course I'm sure," Mihoshi said brightly. "I've been a bit lonely and would love the company."

"And my father hasn't engaged me to you and you're not looking for a husband?" Ranma asked intently.

"I'm way too young to marry," Mihoshi waved it off. "Maybe in another forty years."

"Ok," Ranma said cheerfully.

Not being able to put her in with Tenchi, for the disaster it would no doubt cause, or ditto his father, there weren't many options left. Ryoko still slept on a beam in the ceiling and Washu in her lab, while Sasami and Ayeka shared a room. Mihoshi was the last person to put her with.

Washu stood up. "Well I'm going to oil the door to Mihoshi's room real quick," she said before dashing off.

"I guess I should help," Mihoshi said wondering why Washu would need to oil a door on her ship in orbit, since she'd been using a personal teleporter to commute back and forth so she wouldn't crash into the lake anymore.

"Probably a good idea to straighten up a bit as well since you'll have a guest," Ayeka said quickly, figuring Washu was going to build a room real quick to accommodate Ranma and keep her from discovering their secrets until they could find out from Kashuto what was going on.

"So tell me about your greatest battle," Ryoko asked doing her part to help distract Ranma.

"As in most property damage done or greatest number of people involved?" Ranma asked, more than willing to talk about martial arts.

Typing by: The Last Primarch