Pro-Log but Anti-Lumber!

Flapping Like Crazy

"I never thought we'd be the last," Willow said as they stood in an office on top of a crumbling skyscraper and watched the sun rise over the forest that was slowly taking over the LA Basin.

Xander wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her neck. "I always thought we would be, but I always thought we'd go out fighting back to back, not outlive our species."

"Just because they all left Earth doesn't mean they're no longer human," Willow said leaning back into him.

"Man changed when he left the forest and I have no doubt leaving the Earth has changed him as well."

"You could have left with them," Willow said. "I know you always wanted to see the stars. Just because I can't doesn't mean you can't."

"Yes it does," Xander said. "I like being me and there is no Xander without Willow. Besides," Xander ran his hands on her body making her all but purr, "there is no way in hell I'm giving up this!"

Willow giggled and kissed him for a minute before straightening the moss like green dress she wore. "You always know just what to say."

"I speak but the truth. Why rehash things we settled centuries ago? You know I am happy to spend eternity with you. As far as I'm concerned this is the Garden of Eden."

Willow purred loudly.

Xander gestured and a gossamer thread of spider silk shot from his wrist and impacted a heavy granite desk that he pulled towards them like it as made of balsa wood.

There was a flash of light and suddenly a man dressed in clothes that hadn't been seen in millennia was standing there briefly, before a heavy granite desk slammed into him sending them both hurtling off the building and into the air nearly twenty stories above the water below.

"Was that Whistler?" Willow asked in shock as the faint yell of a falling demon ended in a loud splash.

Xander sighed. "I think it was. Damnit, I was planning to have sex with you on that desk and now it's probably twenty feet underwater!"

"We can both breathe water," Willow pointed out.

"Oh, yeah!" Xander perked back up.

"And making love on that desk is more important that finding out why I am here?" a somewhat battered and bruised demon asked as he appeared in the exact same spot again, dripping water on the decaying rug.

"No," Xander replied, causing the demon to nod in satisfaction and Willow to cock an eyebrow knowing he wasn't through. "Making love to Willow is more important."

"Let's find out why he's here first, so we don't have to worry about being distracted by anything," Willow suggested.

"Fine," Xander said with a sigh. "What do you need Whistler?"

"I'm not Whistler, he was my grandfather," the demon replied. "I was named after him though."

"So your name is Whistler?" Willow asked amused.

"Yes, it is," the demon confirmed.

"SO what do you need Whistler?" Xander repeated blandly.

"Willow's been so introspective lately because Gaia is contemplating another ice age. It was decided that since you two have done so much we'd allow you two to just go directly upstairs rather than sleep for a hundred millennia."

"Tired of waiting for us to die and don't want us influencing things?" Xander asked amused.

"The creator likes fresh starts," Whistler assured them. "I believe her and Gaia are thinking about trying dinosaurs again."

"This will require some thought," Xander said solemnly.

"You should probably go fishing off the other side of the building while we discuss this," Willow suggested.

"How long do you need?" Whistler asked.

"Four to six hours, minimum," Xander replied taking Willow's hand as his black loincloth seemed to melt into his skin and her dress flaked off leaving a trail of moss as the approached the edge of the floor.

Whistler watched in shock as Gaia's avatar and her consort leapt off the building shouting, "Cannonball!" Looking up at the sky he took off his hat and said, "Grandfather, I apologize for saying you had to be exaggerating when you told me about them."

And Falling Fast

Sunnydale Kindergarten

Slightly out of phase, the three watched as a young boy gave a red haired girl his yellow crayon. "And pause," Willow said freezing time.

"What are you two planning on doing?" Whistler asked nervously as he glanced around, unused to being in any dimension but his own.

"Thanks to the bio-weapons that were released on Earth, driving off the population, we never had children," Willow explained.

"I thought you guys were immune," Whistler said.

"We are," Xander agreed. "But it would have left our children with no choice for spouses but each other."

"And the problem is?" Whistler asked confused.

"Much like angels, demons don't suffer any problems due to inbreeding," Willow said in understanding.

"Inbreeding affects humans like it does animals," Xander explained to Whistler.

"Oh," the demon said making a face.

"We could alter their DNA exactly to match our own to prevent that problem," Willow admitted, "But making endless clones of ourselves that way seems more narcissistic than anything else."

"Thus we are passing a bit of ourselves onto ourselves and they can have children, preserving our legacy," Xander explained.

Willow touched her younger self's hair causing her eyes to glow green, while Xander let a drip of what looked like mercury drop from his hand to his younger self's head, black threads flickering across both their skin for a moment.

"Aren't they a bit young for children?" Whistler asked.

Xander and Willow shared a laugh. "I meant in a dozen years or so, not now," she said, restarting time.

Young Willow accepted the crayon, but didn't let go of Xander's hand, pulling their him forward their lips met. It was only for a second and then they both scooted their desks together so they could hold hands while they colored.

"A dozen years on a Hellmouth is a long time," Whistler said absently as he watched the two.

The three vanished in a burst of light.

And Learning to Fly

The three appeared in a hospital room where Xander lay, his head wrapped in bandages, missing an eye. Willow sat by his bedside, tears running down her face. Kennedy appeared between them so quickly you'd almost think she was a slayer already. Eyes red with unshed tears she held up a wooden cross with her left hand and held a dagger ready in her right one.

"I never thought she was that fond of me," Xander said.

"Guilt," Willow waved it off. "She found it easier to avoid you rather than deal with her emotions about everything."

"What?" the native Willow stared at them in shock.

"Future selves," Xander explained.

"You-you can't be the first evil, we're both still alive and it's never appeared as more than one person at a time before," Willow said.

"Just because it hasn't doesn't mean it couldn't," Xander corrected, "And there has got to have been dozens of people who could have passed as the twins of everyone we know, so really the 'only appears as the dead' thing it does isn't as big a limitation as it likes to pretend it is."

"Shit!" Kennedy cursed.

"Physical contact is the only way to be sure," Willow said just before she jumped from Xander goosing her.

"Firm and silky smooth, but best to be sure," Xander said solemnly before he pulled Willow to him and they started making out with an excessive amount of groping being involved.

Native Willow and Kennedy just stared.

Whistler groaned. "You two have less self-control than a pair of horny teens."

"Why is he just wearing a black loincloth?" Kennedy asked, weapons hanging lightly from her hands.

"I haven't asked," Whistler admitted. "I was just happy they weren't completely naked."

Xander finally came up for air. "Last two people on Earth for a very long time, why would we have any restraint?"

"The loincloth is because I told him I like the Tarzan look about eighty years ago," Willow explained.

"Coming back in time would destroy the future-" Native Willow began.

"It just causes time to branch off," Willow said interrupting her.

"Why are you here?" Kennedy asked.

"Our time is almost up," Xander said. "And we never got a chance to have children."

"It'd be unfair to the children," Native Xander said blurrily from his hospital bed.

Willow was instantly at his side holding his hand and making sure he was alright, tears running down her face.

"How come I'm seeing double with only half my normal complement of eyes?" Native Xander asked.

Xander laughed. "I've come back in time to improve your sex life."

Native Xander laughed then winced. "Note to self; laughter hurts."

"So noted," Xander agreed.

"I'm pretty sure I could pull off the sexy pirate act," Native Xander said.

"We get real self-conscious about the eye," Xander said shaking his head. "Mostly because of the way our friends react to it. It takes a couple of years before we get over it."

"You can fix him?" Native Willow exclaimed, grabbing her other self's hands, her eyes pleading.

"Yes," Willow agreed. "But Xander is going to fix himself."

"Really?"

"Please tell me I'm not going to cast a spell on myself," Native Xander begged.

"We still don't do magic," Xander assured himself. "What we have is science so advanced it resembles magic. We get along with science. When I begin I need you all to follow what I say even if it seems senseless at the time."

"You're just wearing a loincloth," Kennedy pointed out. "Do I really wanna know where you keep your tools?"

"Nanotech," Xander said. "Now before I begin all the humans in this room except the patient need to be topless. Xander don't look, lay down and keep your eyes shut."

Native Willow's shirt and bra hit the floor before he could finish speaking. Willow brushed off the top half of her dress, the moss it was composed of crumbling at her touch. Kennedy hesitated for less than a heartbeat before undressing.

Xander smiled and looked at the three, while Whistler just shook his head. Holding up a hand, drops of what looked like mercury seemed to leak from his pores and roll up to collect in a ball on the tip of his index finger. Native Xander was lying down with his eye closed when Xander touched his forehead and the metal sank into his skin. Native Xander immediately let out a relived sigh.

"What are you doing?" Native willow asked.

Xander smiled. "Well I've given him a nanite colony and right now he's synching with it and adjusting the personalized settings."

"Like setting up a new computer?" Native Willow asked.

"Exactly like that," Xander agreed. "Right now he is… looking through the multitude of picture's I've taken of my Willow over the centuries."

"What kind of pictures?" Kennedy asked suspiciously.

"The naked kind," Xander said making Native Willow blush to the waist.

"I have a decade of video of Willow sleeping peacefully," Native Xander said in awe.

"That's actually just the file from us camping on Everest," Xander told him. "I have decades of Willow doing just about everything. Thank Gaea for nanite memory storage."

"How long have you two been together?" Native Willow asked Willow.

"Longer than you'd believe," Willow replied. "We were the last two humans on Earth. Mankind had spread to the stars and we stayed to clean up the mess they left behind."

Xander helped his native self sit up. "Now keep your eye closed."

"They… it is shut," Native Xander assured him absently.

"Good, now stop looking at old video footage," Xander ordered as he peeled the bloody bandages off Native Xander's empty socket, " And look at two topless Willows and a topless Kennedy."

Native Xander frowned as Xander had covered his eye, but the empty socket started rapidly filling in as Native Xander grew a new eye. "Whoa!"

"He's healed!" Native Willow cheered hugging Kennedy and her other self.

Willow took advantage of the situation to get in some groping and kisses on the two which made both Xanders smile.

"I've found the record mode," Native Xander said happily.

Whistler groaned reminding everyone he was there. "Ok, can we go now?" You two are overdue for the afterlife."

Both Xanders frowned as it broke the mood and completely derailed what could have been a dream come true. A very perverted dream, but a dream all the same.

"Fine," Xander said. "I suppose we can always go for reincarnation if we want a twin Willow threesome."

"Only if you don't mind being a surfer called Gil," Willow teased.

Xander and Willow laughed as they faded from sight with Whistler leaving the room's three original occupants alone.

"This has been a good day," Xander decided.

Typing by: The Last Primarch!

AN: I also want to see more Xander/Willow stories.