Reasons why NOT to join the Fellowship of the ring

by Elleth of Hidden Lore

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

5. Reason 5

Windy-san and I want to thank all you guys for all your support. We are thrilled this fic has been so liked.

*NOTE: I wanted to clear some things so that you may enjoy the fic better. First, it is meant to be a personal narration that the character, Alexandra, (I forgot to name her at first but now you can see it in the first chapter) is personally telling, so it is meant to be informal, according to her personality. Second, there is no specific timeline for this fic. It does follow a certain order, which is the manner in which her reasons increase in craziness so to speak, but it will randomly go back and forth at times, especially since not all examples of the reason she is explaining happened on the same place and time.

5- You don't bathe in days

Middle earth really needs to get itself a hygiene and health's department. It comes to the point where you start to believe that you skin has always been this odd brownish color and that your hair will forever be a hard mix of dirt, sweat and dry orc blood. I remember when I used to take two baths per day at the least, but now I take one bath per week if I get lucky, and it is not a hot bath in a tub where you could relax for an hour or two, letting your tense muscles revive from the harsh treating they receive in this dammed journey, no, it is a five minute bath in freezing cold rivers and streams. And because I am the only girl I am sent to the far parts of the river and, to add insult to injury, one of the members, mainly Aragorn or Legolas, will be very close by to make sure I don't get into trouble, though I think they were secretly wishing the river would suddenly rise and wash me away. It actually scares me to think that the real reason they do this might be to sneak a little peek at my womanly parts, because even if they are supposedly honorable men, they are all still men who travel alone… with no women… just me… oh God…

Once again we would like to say that we welcome any ideas since there is always things we do not realize that some of you might. If you wish you can leave it in the review or a PM and your name will be mentioned at the beginning of the chapter if you will allow it.