Reasons why NOT to join the Fellowship of the ring

by Elleth of Hidden Lore

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

6. Reason 6

*NOTE from cowriter: Hello my fellow readers! ^^ Windy-san here 0w0/ Just passing through and letting yall know that I'm really happy that you like this little fic so much! =3 It's definitely a pleasure reading all your comments, it motivates us to write more and better =w= I can't wait 'till we get to the reeeaaaally crazy ones, I assure you, they are hilarious ^w^ till next time! Windy out! ^w~

6- You're around sweaty, sticky men

Like I said before, we only get to bathe once or twice per week, so when you're walking from dusk till dawn, you sweat and you begin to smell. Some of you would think that being around sweaty, handsome men is not that bad, well try smelling them for a change and see if it's such as turn on as you would think!

I did my best to keep fresh. I would use my canteen water to secretly wash myself at nights as well as I could, but the rest of the nine men around me seemed to care little about the pungent smell they emitted. Seriously, orcs could track us down if they tried to sniff the company out! Only Legolas seemed as fresh and fragrant as a rose in the morning every second of the day, which is highly annoying.

Once, when Gandalf gave us one of those once in a million breaks, I sat down on the grass and Gimli came over and, standing an inch beside me, decided to open his arms and stretch. Oh God the horror! The stench that came from under his arms struck me like and orc's fist! I could see his sweat dripping from his pits like a waterfall! I remember throwing up before passing out.

Hey all! She elf here, the picture that is now the cover for this story was drawn by Windy-san so you can have an idea of how Alexandra is. Though as the chapters go by you should imagine her hair all messed up and her clothes all raggedy, some dirt and stuff. Later on Windy-san will do another cover with her the way I explained before so you can see it and laugh.