Hello to all. Well, this will be a bit longer than the normal chapters, and I think quite funny.
This idea was inspired by vanecool and AA - MamaBirdCat
10- That time of the month
After I received Lord Elrond's news about my forced joining to the Fellowship, I was a wreck. My body became a mess; I could not keep food down, I had major mood swings and my period went out of balance. So the time came and we left Rivendell, but I had not given thought to having my period again. I don't know why, maybe it's because I was trying to keep in mind that perfect picture that fangirls have about joining the Fellowship. So we were at the start of our second week since we left and I was walking beside the hobbits in the back and got tired of hearing their constant chatter so I decided to move closer to the frontline. I was passing by Aragorn and Legolas when I hear Legolas' musical voice whispering at Aragorn in elvish. I heard Aragorn chuckle and a few seconds later I felt Aragorn's strong hand on my shoulder. I slowed my pace but didn't stop. At that moment, Aragorn bent to whisper into my ear and said "You might wish to take care of that big, red stain on you lower posterior." It took me a moment to realize what he meant. Suddenly the truth hit me like a giant iron hammer. I stopped abruptly and was rooted to the floor. It was as if though I'd become a statue. Aragorn chuckled and continued to walk ahead of me. I saw Legolas pass by me and heard him laugh.
Behind me were the hobbits. They passed by me and it was Pippin who made the comment: "Hey Alexandra, you have a huge red stain on your rear end." the hobbit was about to continue on his merry way when he stopped abruptly and looked at me, his cute blue eyes wide with concern. He looked at me and said: "I smell blood. Are you wounded Alexandra? Gandalf, Gandalf, Alexandra is wounded! She is bleeding from her posterior!" at that moment I snapped out of my stunned state and was about to ask Pippin to shut up, but the damage was done. The entire Fellowship had stopped walking and were staring at me now. Aragorn was biting his lower trying to hold his laughter, and Legolas simply smirked at my misery. At that moment my whole world went downhill. I just wanted a meteor to fall on me.
After that, well, you can imagine my pain. After that it was six days of using little pieces of cloth as Pads and using my canteen water to wash myself. Oh, and let's not forget the absence of pain killer pills added to the mood swings and stomach turns. And something I didn't know or even thought possible is that, since it is blood, it tends to attract dangerous animals, so the Fellowship left in the rear for six days, since one night a wolf came into the encampment sniffing for my blood, and another time a small fox actually sneaked up on me and bit my butt!
Now, this was all really one big pain in the butt, literally. Both Aragorn and Legolas are healers, but Aragorn is the busy, plus the elf would rather chop his own hand off before treating my wounded posterior, so it was up to Aragorn to see about that bite on my butt. I can honestly say that having everyone realize that I was on my period thanks to Pippin, plus adding to have Aragorn tend a bite wound on my butt cheek, made that the worst day of my existence. Aragorn was a complete gentleman and a professional when he tended to me, but the members of the Fellowship were not at all happy that we had to stop for a few minutes so that Aragorn could tend to me. Seriously, the lack of compassion these people have for me!
At least some good things came out of this whole ordeal, Aragorn gave me some herbs to help with the pain, and I got a fox scarf for winter. Poor little fox, it didn't expect the violence a woman in her period is capable of. All I can say is that it died quickly, before it even had the chance to see the knife that sliced its throat.
Can't talk now. Have a test and three other things to finish for tomorrow.
My friend, who is in her period right now, says: "Right now in modern civilization this hurts like a bitch (being in her period) I would not tolerate this if I was in the Fellowship no matter how much the sexiness of Legolas would sooth me, I would kill him if it meant the pain would go away. Probably many fans will seek me out to kill me, but… Prussia is best." (She's a Hetalia fangirl)
And this was just a random conversation that was happening just now so we decided to put it just for the heck of it.