In a funk!
"Where's Xander?" Giles asked.
"I checked his room on the way in," Andrew said. "He's not there."
"His bed look slept in?" Faith asked.
"No, in fact it was completely stripped," Andrew replied.
"I was thinking he might've got lucky, so the bed would have either been not slept in or really messed up," Faith offered. "But missing sheets? Only thing I can think of is he had to disappear a dead hooker."
Muffled snorts and rolled eyes went around the table.
"He's not Ben Affleck," Dawn defended him.
Andrew shrugged. "All I know is his room is dark and the bed is missing everything including his pillow."
Willow's eyes shot open and she quickly turned to Andrew. "His room faces east, why was it dark?"
"He covered his windows in aluminum foil," Andrew replied. "And his light bulb is gone."
Willow groaned.
"What?" asked half a dozen voices.
"Today's the anniversary of something, give me a second," Willow said sorting through dates in her head.
"It's the day he didn't marry Anya," Dawn said.
"How'd you get the answer faster than Willow?" Kennedy asked in surprise.
"She's got a lot more history and dates to keep track of, besides this was an almost great but terrible day in my own history," Dawn said with a sigh. "Mixed emotions across the board."
"Really?" Kennedy asked curiously, having only heard vague rumors about the event.
"Xander almost got married, he was given a magic head trip by one of Anya's past victims, rather than help him deal with having his mind fucked with she dumped him," Dawn said flatly.
"It wasn't…" Willow trailed off. "Yeah, I guess it was like that."
"So I was happy and sad," Dawn continued. "Sad he was sad, happy he was single and pissed that Buffy wouldn't let me comfort him in his hour of need."
"I don't think having you take advantage of him in his weakened state would have helped him any," Buffy said dryly.
"You make it sound like he was a wounded gazelle and I was a lion," Dawn said. "I planned on tripping him and beating him to the floor, not killing and eating him."
"Yeah, that would have been a big help," Willow said sarcastically.
"Actually it would have," Woods spoke up.
"Really?" several voices chorused in shock.
"Really," Giles confirmed. "It would have done no end of good for his mental state to burn off a lot of his confusion and worry. Women have chocolate, men have sex."
"Which doesn't help us figure out where he is now or why his bed is stripped bare," Faith spoke up. "And I got twenty that says he pulled an Affleck."
"He's still in his room," Willow said before any bets could be made.
"But I looked," Andrew argued.
"He's under the bed," Willow said.
The entire room fell silent as they stared at Willow.
"Oh like you guys never do anything childish," Willow said glaring at the group.
"Not that childish," Buffy said.
"So I can throw out any stuffed animals in your room?" Willow asked.
"Don't you touch Mr. Gordo!" Buffy yelled, before blushing and sitting down.
"Most of us aren't that bad," Faith quickly shot out.
"Andrew… too easy," Willow said ignoring his hurt look. "Giles actually has bubble bath and a rubber duck, Faith and Robin made a teepee out of Spike's old duster and told ghost stories to each other while hiding under it."
"My mom used that jacket for that purpose when I was a kid," Robin retorted. "We were simply sharing childhood memories."
"Which doesn't change the fact that it's childish," Willow said. "We all have childish things we do, this is simply one of ours."
"Ours?" Kennedy asked curiously.
"I'm better at hiding it than he is," Willow admitted. "And I haven't done it in years," she quickly added.
"Well I'm not going to let him mope under his bed," Buffy announced standing up. "I'm going to drag him out from under there and cheer him up!"
"This isn't going to end well," Willow groaned before chasing after her, followed by everyone else.
Buffy opened Xander's door and flipped the light switch, remembering a second later that Andrew had said that the bulb was gone.
"I know you're under there Xander!" Buffy announced. "Don't make me drag you out of there!"
"Don't you think you're over-" Willow began just before Buffy announced, "I warned you!" and crawled under the bed vanishing quickly.
"I didn't think there was that much room under there," Kennedy remarked.
A tennis shoe flew out from under the bed. "I'll send you out piece by piece!" Buffy yelled.
A second later one of Buffy's red flats flew out.
Willow sighed as shoes and socks were flung out.
"You'd think being a slayer would be enough to give her the advantage," Kennedy said as Buffy's blouse made an appearance.
"There's an art to it," Willow muttered before dropping to the floor. "Stop it you two," Willow ordered before Xander's pants smacked her in the face. "That's it, I'm coming in!"
Faith moved up next to Kennedy and the two watched as pieces of Willow's clothes joined the pile.
"All three of them are almost naked at this point," Faith pointed out as a bright red bra hit the pile.
Kennedy nodded and waved everyone back. "I think it's best if we just handle getting Xander out of his funk by ourselves, thanks."
Faith raised an eyebrow, getting what Kennedy was implying. "I thought you were gay?"
"I'm a bit curious," Kennedy admitted. "Plus he did get a thumb shoved in his eye saving me, I don't think I'm going to find a guy I feel safer around… ever."
"So you figure it's his turn to insert something in you?" Faith asked amused.
"Close enough," Kennedy said shoving Faith out and locking the door.
"There is no way there is enough room for three people to move around under that bed, much less four," Dawn complained.
Faith held up a book she'd palmed off the nightstand.
Giles took the book and examined it. "Shadow magic, well that explains quite a lot."
"Care to translate for the rest of us?" Woods asked.
"Shadow magic is primarily used for changing boundaries, but requires a great deal of power to function," Giles explained.
Faith and Dawn exchanged confused looks.
"A little simpler please," Woods asked.
"That is as simple as it gets, but I'll explain how it applies here," Giles allowed. "Xander has used magic to expand the space under his bed."
"Doesn't Xander plus magic equal BOOM?" Faith asked.
"Not quite," Giles said. "Some chaotic effects have occurred whenever magic was applied to him, but at times it's proven quite beneficial. For instance, the enjoining spell would normally have required a lot more power and skill to pull off, but Xander's whole hearted assistance made up for my own failings."
"Yoink!" Faith snatched the book from Gile's hand. "Let's see how well this works on leather teepees."
Giles sighed and cleaned his glasses as the two left. "I'm surrounded by children."
"Says the man with a rubber ducky," Dawn replied with a grin.
Typing by: The Last Primarch!
AN: Just a fun little thing I typed up.