Reasons why NOT to join the Fellowship of the ring

by Elleth of Hidden Lore

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

12. Reason 12

Sorry, my brain hurts, literally, because of the endless strain it has been going through since last weekend, so I really can't think of anything else to say besides thanks to all of you who are reading and those who are reviewing. For all of you who I cannot reply because you are not in an active account when you review, thanks a ton :)

12- They don't have any sense of humor

They should call Middle earth "The land of the dull people." All that your jokes will ever earn you is a good old beating, scowling, glaring and the occasional total rejection. These men have as about as much sense of humor as a rock. Oh wait, I'm sorry, a rock has way more sense of humor than them! I learned that this journey would be a very dull one when I first met the members of the Fellowship in person. Nothing I said would get them to even crack a smile! For instance, try telling a dirty joke. You guys should have seen their faces. They looked at me as if I had grown an extra head and head and a tail. Then Lord Elrond dragged me by the ear like a child and gave me an all-time scowling. He even had the nerve to ground me, ground me! On Middle earth! How does somebody ground someone in Middle earth?! I was stuck cleaning horse dung for weeks! Jesus, these people need to lighten up! No wonder they're so grumpy all the time!

And there was also the time when I was still in Imladris and I was bored so I decided to play spitball. That day I learned a very important lesson: NEVER play spitball with an elf, they will seriously try to murder you. I think it has something to do about elves not wanting their perfect hair being tangled with little balls of paper and saliva. I had to run like hell from Erestor who came after me after I interrupted one of his classes by spitballing right into his open mouth. I admit that was gross, but it was awesome to see the elf choke for a second, but the look he gave me was one full of blood lust. I darted out of the classroom, followed by the hysterical laughter of young elves and by an infuriated Erestor. Though, one good thing came out of this, the elves that were in Erestor's class befriended me after that.

Has any of you tried to read Hamlet in one day because your professor decided that he/she would tell you that he/she wanted to receive an email with an outline with specific quotes and page and line numbers? Because right now I am about to murder someone because of this!

Have a happy life!