"Are the photographers here yet?" asked Selina Kyle, entering Poison Ivy's cell.
"Yeah, they're setting up in the Rec Room," replied Ivy, checking her makeup. "What took you so long to get here?"
Selina snorted. "What do you think? I was trying to have a nice lunch with my supposed boyfriend, but the moment he hears about Two-Face robbing the Second National Bank, he's off like a shot, telling me he'll call me."
"Men are such creeps," muttered Ivy, fixing her hair.
"Where's Harley?" asked Selina.
"She's refusing to do the photoshoot," retorted Ivy. "You know her – anything the clown says, she agrees with. And the clown says this is demeaning."
"I think he's just afraid that it might make other guys interested in Harley, and he'll have competition," said Selina, nodding. "He might actually have to put an effort into their so-called relationship after that."
"Don't get me started on the clown-bashing – we'll be here all night," retorted Ivy. "Let's go meet those photographers."
"I hope they're hot," said Selina, following her down the corridor. "Maybe I can invite one to dinner afterward. That'll show Batman."
They entered the Rec Room to see that it had been completely converted into a luxurious looking lounge, with pillows, colorful rugs, and dark curtains.
"Wow, this place looks amazing!" exclaimed Ivy, looking around. "Would you mind leaving it up when you leave?"
"I'm afraid Mr. Hefter insists on having all his property back after every shoot," said the lead photographer, holding out his hand to them. "It's nice to meet you, Miss Ivy, Miss Kyle…where's Miss Quinn?"
"Couldn't make it," retorted Ivy.
"Oh," said the photographer, frowning. "Mr. Hefter did specify that the deal was for all three of the Gotham City Sirens…"
"Are you saying we're not attractive enough to sell magazines without her?" demanded Ivy.
"Yeah, we don't need that dumb blonde," retorted Selina. "What guy would wanna fantasize about a submissive nothing like that, even if she is physically attractive?"
"Of course we're not doing this so men can fantasize about us," said Ivy, firmly. "We're doing this as a bold feminist statement, not to objectify ourselves."
"Ok…I just need to call Mr. Hefter to confirm this," said the photographer. "Why don't you two start getting undressed?"
He headed off into a corner, pulling out his cell phone, as Ivy and Selina removed their clothing. And it was at that moment when the door to Rec Room banged open.
"If you'll just leave him in here, Batman, I urgently need to have a quick word with…" began Dr. Leland, who had her back to the room and was speaking to Batman, who held a struggling Two-Face in handcuffs. But at the look on their faces, and their dropped jaws, she stopped speaking and whirled around to see the situation in the Rec Room.
"Oh…God," she stammered, stunned. And then she grew angry. "Out now!" she snapped at the photographers and crew. "You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, exploiting vulnerable lunatics like this!"
"I'm not a lunatic!" shouted Selina.
"And this isn't exploitation – it's empowerment!" snapped Ivy.
"Pamela, you can do what you want in your own property on your own time," snapped Dr. Leland. "But on my property, you're going to obey my rules! And my rules are no camera crews and no nude pictures! Everybody out now!"
"You're dragging feminism back a hundred years!" shrieked Ivy. "I thought you would understand, Joan!"
"I'm not debating the issue of feminism with you," snapped Dr. Leland. "I'm just telling you this shoot is over. Everybody out, including you, Miss Kyle. You're not a patient here, and visitors aren't allowed in the Rec Room."
"Batman's here," retorted Selina, pulling her clothes back on and glaring at him.
"Well, he's practically a patient here!" chuckled a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see the Joker standing outside the Rec Room, beaming.
"You jerk!" shrieked Ivy. "You told her about this!"
"Me?" said Joker, innocently. "Why would you think that? Just because I coincidentally happen to be standing here…"
Ivy shrieked, racing out the door and leaping on top of Joker. She knocked him to the ground and then began punching him mercilessly until the guards dragged her off to her cell.
"Well, that's certainly not the first time I've been attacked by a naked woman, and it certainly won't be the last!" chuckled Joker, standing up and dusting himself off. "Enjoy the show, Batbrain?" he asked Batman.
"Selina, c'mon," growled Batman, holding out his hand.
"No," snapped Selina. "If you'd rather spend your time chasing down lunatics than out with me, I don't want to have anything more to do with you. You wanna get dinner sometime, handsome?" she asked the photographer.
"Oh, thanks, but…I'm gay," he said.
Selina frowned. "Fine," she snapped, taking Batman's hand and leaving with him.
Joker giggled. "I can see why you still wanna water the weed, Harvey," he chuckled. "I've only ever been beaten up more enthusiastically by a naked woman once. Ah, me and Harley's anniversary can't come soon enough!" he laughed, heading back to his cell.