Reasons why NOT to join the Fellowship of the ring

by Elleth of Hidden Lore

Have you ever wanted to join the Fellowship of the Ring? Do you have a thirst for adventure, magic and glorious battles? Well, think again. Do you really think being in the Fellowship is that easy? Would you survive months without a bed, bathrooms, toilet paper, and internet? No, of course not. Join Alexandra as she goes though the adventure she never wanted to have. T for language

21. Reason 21

Reason number 21! Yay! Windy-san here =w=/ (I have taken over She elf's place for this chapter! Bwahaha!) Firstly, this reason was one of the first few we wrote, but we decided to put it now ^^ personally, it's one of my favorites since I'm all for comedy and making people uncomfortable (especially fictional characters, so much fun to tease XD) Anowhooselles! Have fun reading and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it with She Elf! Byebye

21- One does not simply shut Boromir up!

Seriously, that man does not shut up! He's getting on my last nerves! First it was him complaining about not destroying the Ring and using it, then he began to complain because he didn't want me in the Fellowship. (which I completely agreed with) That was all in Rivendell, and ever since we set foot outside the Valley, the man has not closed his mouth unless he's asleep, and even then he will talk! I once slammed my backpack on him when his nighttime rambling was not letting me sleep. Anyways, as I was saying, he complains about virtually everything. He complains because he thinks that the best path is to go to his city, he complains because he still believes the rings should not be destroyed, he complains because a woman in the group will only slow them down. Remind me again how does my being a female suddenly makes the legs of the rest of the members of the fellowship walk slower! He also continues to try to persuade Frodo to let him use the Ring.

I know that deep, deep, like hell deep inside, the man is just worried for his people, but he's getting on the nerves of every member of the fellowship.

Even if one does not simply shut Boromir up, there are a few tricks I learned from the few elves I befriended in Inmadris. For example: I learned of a few herbs you can use to make the tongue swollen, so I spiked his water with a few. It worked for that day, but Legolas just had to know the remedy. Blasted elf! So that was it for plan A. Plan B was trying to persuade Gandalf to use a spell or something to seal his mouth. The wizard looked tempted, but the big wussy decided to just bear with it. So one day when he was especially loud, I finally snapped and did the only thing a woman can do to shut a man up: I flashed him my twins.

Turns out, that was the perfect solution! The man could not even look at me in the eye for the next few days and he avoided me like the plague, and I didn't even need to show him that much since anything under three inches beneath the neck is like porn to these men. These are the moments when I'm glad I'm a woman.

(Laughing her butt off) *sigh* I love writing this =^w^= I have my mind set on watching the LOTR trilogy now, maybe I'll get some new ideas. Thank you so much for liking this and commenting, you have no idea how happy I am that you guys like it and have fun reading it ^^ Hugs and Kisses!

-Windy-san out!