Adam and Ruby stood a few paces across from their opponent- they had followed him down the road until he stopped outside of the town, in the middle of the open desert. He then folded his arms across his chest and proceeded to tap his shoe against the ground impatiently.
"Do you know when Shadow is going to get here?"
"I believe Ryuko is preoccupied," answered Adam.
"But we could totally be replacement Ryukos!" squealed Ruby. She slung Crescent Rose off of her back, transformed it into its scythe mode, and set it over her shoulder. "Grr, I'm really grumpy! I like lemons! Grr, you wanna fight, bub?"
Adam scratched his head. "Does Ryuko really sound like that? I do not think she does."
"Then again, maybe I could fight you while I wait. Since you're not as fast as me, it'll only take a second," mused Sonic. "Okay, you're on. Don't blink!"
"Adam, why shouldn't we blink?" Ruby asked, before a sneaker-shaped depression appeared on her cheek.
"Eeek!" she yelped, grabbing her own face in pain. A dust cloud rose a few meters away as a blue hedgehog came to rest at the end of it.
"Just try and keep up!"
"Wait, you kicked me?!" gasped Ruby.
The hedgehog disappeared again, this time leaving two similar imprints on Adam's chest. The artificial man flinched, but otherwise remained unmoved by the attack. Sonic reappeared behind another dust cloud.
"Ok, you're a tough one, big guy," Sonic smirked. "But that just means I have to deal with Little Red first."
He blasted off towards his original target again, shoving the laws of physics aside as he hurtled towards his top speed. He had to calculate his actions very carefully at such speeds- for example, if he jumped a microsecond too soon, he'd end up leaping over her; too late, and he'd be brought to an embarrassing halt on a leg or arm or something. It wouldn't be pretty, either way. He executed his jump with the necessary precision, performed his requisite mid-air somersault, and extended his leg outward into a kick. With all of these ducks in their row, he was quite surprised that he came to the embarrassing halt he had sought to avoid. His foot had struck something much harder than a soft body, and far more difficult to spring off from. Looking down, he found himself balanced on the flat edge of the girl's massive scythe.
"I want a better nickname," she said sternly.
Sonic hopped off the blade backwards and landed back on his feet. "You could block my attack?"
"Well, I really just waved Crescent Rose around really fast and hoped I'd get you, but yeah, I guess so."
"You must have been swinging that really fast."
"Well, going fast is what I do," giggled Ruby.
"Now, hold on a Sonic Second! I'm the Fastest Thing Alive! Going fast is what I do!"
"Perhaps it would be wise to not encroach upon his livelihood," warned Adam.
"Aw, don't worry. I'm sure he doesn't get paid for going fast. Do you get paid for going fast?"
"N-no," mumbled the hedgehog.
"Then, it's just fine!"
"If you insist, Ruby."
"Whatever! You might be fast, but you're not faster than me, no way, no how!"
Sonic shot forward again, ducking under the scythe to punch an unsuspecting Ruby in the gut. He bounced off of her stomach, hit the ground, and scraped along the dirt to a stop.
"See? You're not faste-uwaaaa!" Sonic gasped as a large hand clamped shut around his head and hoisted him into the air, twisting him to face the massive, stitched-together man.
"Ruby may not be faster than you, but you are not faster than both of us."
Adam flung Sonic overhand toward Ruby, who spun Crescent Rose like a baton and again deflected the hedgehog's approach. He bounced off of the blade and fell onto the dirt, quickly springing to his feet.
"Heh. Not bad," he chuckled. "But you've got a ways to go until you're as fast as me!"
"We'll see about that," smiled Ruby.
Sonic took off again, still focusing his attention on Ruby. Again, the flat of the scythe stopped him, and again he was forced back. His reflexes allowed him to observe his failure in the finest of detail, the girl slowly adjusting her fingers along the weapon's snath as she spun it back over her shoulder.
There- if I don't wait to land, I can hit her while she's open. A Homing Attack will do the trick!
He curled his small body into a ball, using his incredible speed to turn a somersault into a whirling orb of torque. With a particular jolt, he transformed that torque into forward motion, diving past Ruby's arms to strike her defenseless stomach again. Sonic bounded away, but made sure to stay out of Adam's reach.
"See, I'm so fast I can attack twice in a row!"
Ruby lowered the end of Crescent Rose towards the hedgehog, who recognized the familiar hollow shape of a barrel.
"Funny, I can do ten," she smirked, pulling the weapon's trigger. A Dust-propelled round flew through the space which Sonic's head had occupied moments before, coming to rest with a small explosion in the dirt. Sonic had screeched a few feet to his left, and not a moment too soon.
"Wait, that thing's also a-"
Ruby fired again, the ground giving way below her boots. The hedgehog was forced to move instead of finish his sentence.
"It's also a-"
Another pull of the trigger sent Sonic jumping further back.
"It's also a gun?!"
Sonic felt familiar, large fingers close around his small chest and lift him into the air.
"Yes, it is," grunted Adam, slamming the blue, spiky creature into the ground. The spines dug into his hand, but they did not deter him from forcing Sonic into the same patch of dirt again, or for a third time, or a fourth. They did persuade him to avoid a fifth attack, so he placed him into the crater he was beginning to form and decided to repeat the process with his foot.
. Again the huge man's foot collided with his head, his eyes spinning in their sockets. Sonic's body was used to stress, but rarely anything as brutal as this- he had to escape. The pauses between each stomp, which would have once been an eternity for him at speed, now were painfully brief glimpses of freedom.
C'mon, Sonic! You can't give up! You've gotta win this! For everyone back home!
His gloved fingers tightened over the loose dirt. As soon as he felt the jarring impact of the foot against his head, he kicked his body into motion, staggering with super-speed up and out of what could have been an early grave. His unsteady footing caused him to plow into the ground at fifty miles per hour, but the sharp rocks scraping across his face were a gentle breeze compared to the abuse he had just taken.
"Jeez," he gasped. "You- urk- guys… are… freakin'… brutal!"
"Duh," scoffed Ruby. "We want to win and teach your boss a lesson!"
Sonic wiped a trickle of blood out of his eyes. "I… guess… that makes sense."
Ruby centered her sights on the hedgehog again, but he held up an open hand, and the girl respectfully did not shoot him while he caught his breath.
"Th-that's kinda weird…" he coughed, pointing up. "Am I just… seein' things?"
"Yeah, I'm not turning around to let you get away. That's the oldest trick in the-"
"He's right, Ruby. Look at the moon."
Reluctantly, Ruby turned around. Far above, a silver-grey disc loomed in the center of the midday sky.
"I've seen the moon out at daytime," she whispered. "But it was never that big."
"Good to know it's not the brain damage talking," chuckled Sonic, utilizing humor to ignore the pain of his injuries. "The moon might be nice to look at, but you're still here to deal with me, until Shadow shows up. So come on, step it up!"
Ruby turned back to the hedgehog, and loaded a fresh magazine into Crescent Rose.