Contracts
"Naruto Uzumaki, the council finds your actions against the Uchiha heir deplorable. You were sent on a simple rescue mission and yet when you arrived the Uchiha had a significant number of injuries, not from the enemy nin trying to kidnap him but from your own hands!" Homura announced causing an angry stir among the council.
"Simple rescue mission?" Naruto asked sarcastically. "I didn't know simple rescue missions involved fighting the Sound Four who helped Orochimaru kill the Third Hokage or having to fight the person you're rescuing because Orochimaru's curse seal drove him nuts as well as making him much more powerful."
The mutterings from the council grew, but sounded more confused than angry.
"Those were declared A-rank secrets!" Homura exclaimed with a heated glare. "I'll have your head for this!"
"You'd have to notify me of that first," Naruto said flatly. "And since I've been unconscious for a week while regrowing my right lung from where the Uchiha stuck a chidori through me it's pretty obvious I didn't get told."
"It's every nin's duty to attend a mission debriefing as soon as they are physically able," Homura retorted. "It's not our fault you haven't done your duty so you can still be charged!"
"Actually it is your fault," Tsunade broke in. "You ordered for him to be dressed and brought in as soon as he was conscious, despite doctor's orders that he not be stressed and should be sedated for another three days."
"Fine," Homura snorted, realizing she'd just have to be happy with what they'd already managed to do to Naruto. "Naruto Uzumaki for your actions on your last mission…"
"Which I haven't been debriefed on or even discussed yet, leaving your only source of info someone whose been under the influence of Orochimaru's curse seal," Naruto interrupted, glad Granny had coached him on all of this.
"The council's decision is final!" she barked out. "Naruto Uzumaki, you are hereby banished from the Leaf village. You have twenty four hours to comply or be executed!"
As she finished speaking the seal on Naruto's stomach flared, setting his shirt and jacket on fire, which he quickly ripped off revealing his heavily bandaged chest that was slowly being soaked through with blood.
"What the hell was that!" Naruto exclaimed suddenly finding it a lot harder to suppress his chakra.
Jiraya quickly examined Naruto. "The seal's gone!"
"Shouldn't that mean a giant fox rips its way out of me like Chouji in a vat of pudding?" Naruto asked nervously.
Jiraya didn't answer as he cast several diagnostic jutsu on Naruto and after several terse minutes waved Tsunade over to check his results.
"The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife until Tsunade spoke, "The fox is gone, you don't have any demonic energy in your system at all."
"Which is lucky for you because the seal is gone as well and I don't know why," Jiraya added.
The council milled around in confusion not knowing what to make of this development.
"So this is what freedom feels like," Naruto said slowly, beginning to smile. Sure he'd dreamed of becoming Hokage, but he'd also dreamed of getting rid of the fox. "I think I'll visit Tazuna first."
"How is the fox gone when Uzumaki is still here?" one of the civilian councilors exclaimed.
"Naruto is not the fox, he was just the prison keeping it locked away," Jiraya said. "The seal…"
"You've thought of something?" Tsunade asked.
"Yeah," Jiraya said. "Minato's last words. Minato said we must treat Naruto like a hero. At the time I thought he was just saying what he wished to happen but now I think he was giving us an order. Any seal that deals with a spiritual being is referred to as a contract because there are rules each side is bound to follow. When the council banished Naruto from the village they broke the contract with the Shinigami."
"And the Shinigami took the fox?" Naruto turned to the council and gave them a huge smile. "Banishing me is the best thing you guys ever did, thanks!"
"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Jiraya said. "We won't know the full effects of breaking the contract until a year is up. The contract is simply being held in abeyance at this point."
"So I could explode this time next year?!" Naruto screamed.
"It's possible," Jiraya admitted. "But more likely the fox will simply reform where he was sealed and you'll be fine."
"Glad I won't be Hokage when that happens," Tsunade said shaking her head.
"What?!" over half the council demanded.
"I only became Hokage because Naruto asked me to," Tsunade replied with a shrug. "Since he's being banished I have no reason to stay here."
"Danzo can take over as Hokage," Homura said. "Jiraya we'll need you to stay so if the fox returns you can seal it away."
"Not a chance," Jiraya said shaking his head. "And it wouldn't work again anyway."
"Why not?" Homura demanded.
"Because I'm not sacrificing my soul for a village that banished my godson and the fox would poison and kill any baby you stick it in anyway."
"Then how did Uzumaki survive?"
"Naruto survived because he's an Uzumaki and has their bloodline, which seems to be tailored to keeping the fox locked up. His chakra is the perfect counter to the fox's and he has a regenerative ability that counters its poisonous nature. No, we have no newborn Uzumaki to contain the fox and I'm not about to sacrifice my soul for you bastards."
"We have a year!" one of the councilors burst out. "That's more than enough time to make Naruto produce a child to cage the fox!"
"Not a chance in hell," Naruto said flatly. "The Fourth actually thought you people were worth protecting, but then he also thought you'd obey his last wishes and treat me like a human being. I know what you people are actually like and I ain't about to let you abuse one of my kids!"
"As a citizen of…" Homura trailed off.
"Exactly. I'm a no longer a citizen of the Leaf, but I am a citizen of the land of Fire, which means not only do you have no authority over me, you cannot touch me with without committing treason. Now if you'll excuse me I plan on packing and getting something to eat before I go."
Tsunade left with Naruto while the council erupted in arguments as Homura's manipulations and their disastrous results were made plain.
Naruto and Tsunade walked to Ichiraku's ramen stand with a lightness in their step that hadn't been seen in a while as their responsibilities had weighed on them.
"So what's the plan Granny?"
"How about not calling me Granny until you've healed enough to survive my response?" Tsunade suggested with a grin.
Naruto chuckled. "Give me enough ramen and I'll be right as rain."
"I'm not sure you should be walking around in your condition but the point's rather moot as you have to leave shortly anyway."
"I heal faster when I can move around and get some decent food in me," Naruto replied.
"Probably has something to do with your bloodline," she replied absently. "I know your mother was much the same."
"I'm still a bit shocked at who my parents were," Naruto said, shaking his head.
"This was the first chance we had to tell you about them since you proved you were mature enough to know by passing the Chunin exams, even if you weren't promoted."
Naruto just nodded as his favorite place in the entire village came into sight.
"We need to proceed one step at a time," Shibi Aburame, suggested pushing his sunglasses up with a finger. "First we need to know what clause of the contract was broken."
"We can summon the Shinigami and respectfully request a copy," Jiraya said.
"How big a sacrifice does that require?" one of the councilors asked nervously.
"Depends," Jiraya replied enjoying their fear and knowing you could actually get by with a soft boiled egg and eight cc's of mouse blood.
"Are you ok?" Ayame asked anxiously as she fussed over Naruto.
"I'll be better once I have some ramen in me."
"Let me get some," the ramen waitress said rushing off.
"Are you really going to be okay?" Teuchi asked while his daughter prepared half a dozen bowls for Naruto.
"My right lung is almost completely regrown," Naruto assured him. "I just need some food in me."
"Give Ayame a week or two to fatten you up a bit and you'll be fine I'm sure."
"Unfortunately I've been banished for bruising the council's precious Uchiha while bringing him back, so this time tomorrow I have to be gone."
"What!?"
Jiraya slammed his hands down on the seal causing lines of blue fire to race along it till they all met up in the center in an explosion of blue fire that was suddenly swallowed up by the black cloaked figure that appeared.
"Why have you summoned me?" a feminine voice asked. "Not that I don't already know."
"You're the shinigami?" Jiraya burst out.
She pulled back her hood revealing a pale young woman with black hair and a diamond on her forehead similar to Tsunade's. "My name is Raven and I'm filling in for the local Shinigami while he undergoes his quarterly review."
"Oh," Jiraya said a bit shocked that the afterlife had the same things he'd dealt with as a chunin.
"So what was the purpose of this summons?"
"We'd like to respectfully request a copy of the contract binding the Kyuubi to Naruto Uzumaki," Jiraya said.
"I can tell you that off the top of my head. Rather than a formal contract as such it was set up as a bet between Naruto's father the Fourth Hokage and the local Shinigami; Earl Slackmyer."
Homura winced as she could feel the civilians on the council glaring at her and concocting plans to ruin her life.
"The bet was simple. Minato bet that the citizens of the Leaf Village were honorable decent people who would treat his son, Naruto Uzumaki, the Jailor of the Kyuubi, like the hero he was. Earl bet they were morons who would blame the infant that protected them."
Half the council was smacking themselves in the head at this point.
"Earl was nice enough to allow a lot of leeway saying that it only mattered how Naruto was perceived at the end of his life as a member of the Leaf Village. If it was up to Minato, he'd have released the seal before Naruto was a year old. I have rarely seen anyone more disillusioned with humanity."
"And since Naruto is no longer a member of the Leaf Village, nor can he be one again, the bet was lost," Jiraya said, putting things together.
"Exactly."
"So what happens now?"
"How can you let them do this?" Ayame demanded. Tsunade sighed. "Between the Third's death and my taking up the mantel, they had weeks to screw with the laws. Somehow the civilian council has the right to banish any nin that has proven himself a threat to his fellow nin and it cannot be overturned or countermanded. Naruto's banishment is legal, so I'm resigning as Hokage and following him into exile."
Naruto paused and swallowed his mouthful of noodles. "That's a lot more than you told me."
"We didn't have a whole lot of time between your waking up and getting to the meeting," Tsunade said.
"Yeah, I get that," Naruto agreed. "But still 'the council are dicks'?"
"Did I really need to say any more at that time?"
"No I guess not," he replied and returned to his ramen.
"Dad, as soon as Naruto's finished we need to pack and sell everything we aren't taking with us," Ayame told her father. "The council has banished Naruto."
"I'll contact the realtor. I know of a couple that made generous offers because they didn't want Naruto eating in public. I'll gouge them for a lot of ryo while you prepare the traveling cart."
"Thanks dad!" Ayame beamed.
Naruto just stared stunned.
"What? You really thought I'd stay where my best customer wasn't welcome? Any place you are not welcome isn't a place I'm going to raise my daughter!"
Typing by: The Last Primarch!
AN: Just my thoughts on a more entertaining version of the Naruto gets banished challenge.