Naruto's great escape
AN: Rorschach wrote a Naruto version of my HP based fic 'The Ultimate Escape Artist'. I was going to add this to it, but didn't get it written up in time.
"Someone has kidnapped my daughter!" Hiashi said angrily bursting into the Hokage's office.
The Hokage signaled his hidden ANBU guard and two of them vanished. "Take me there," he ordered.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Naruto checked his two patsys erm… teammates to make sure he hadn't used too much of the potent sleep agent on the senbon he'd tagged them with. Fortunately they were both breathing easily and just had a small green dot to show where they were hit.
Switching clothes with Sasuke he slapped an illusion over a forced henge so Sasuke looked like Sasuke dressed as Naruto until someone dispelled the illusion whereupon he'd look like Naruto dressed like Naruto until they thought to dispel the forced henge making him look like he had at the start.
A quick henge making him look like a random kid and Naruto was off to one of the parks near the outer wall where he'd discovered a hidden tunnel during one of this weekly exit checks last week.
It was the work of seconds to disarm the traps protecting the tunnel and rearm them behind him, but a sudden noise made him freeze.
"Stop struggling you little bitch!" a voice growled.
"Just knock her out already," another voice replied. "Once we remove her eyes she'll be docile enough to breed regardless of how you treat her now."
"I paralyzed her," the first voice said calming down. "That'll keep her quiet until we get the hell out of here and leave here aware of what's going on."
"You're a cruel bastard."
"It's why I'm so good at my job."
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"What did you find?" the Hokage demanded as med-nin looked over the two unconscious branch members.
"Someone activated their Caged Bird seals to knock them out," the med-nin reported.
"Betrayal!" Hiashi growled.
"Possibly but not necessarily," the Hokage replied as his eyes scanned the park for clues.
"What do you mean?" Hiashi asked.
"There are only so many handseals that an hour or two of trial and error would easily allow someone to discover the key."
"But you couldn't be sure which one knocked them out and which one killed them," Hiashi argued.
"Since the point of what they were doing was just to get them out of the way it hardly matters," the Hokage said before spotting a cat staring at him.
"Is that Tora?" Hiashi asked, buried memories of chasing that demon as a genin flashing through his mind.
"Not quite," the Hokage replied as the cat pawed at the ground once it had his attention.
"Danger trap?" Hiashi read before the cat poofed away.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
Naruto hurried off carrying the girl who couldn't have been more than eight, as fast as he could go. He probably should have returned her, but he just couldn't bring himself to willingly return to the village.
He decided to compromise and not muddy his trail so much as he headed for the circus.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"We have them trapped Hokage-sama," the cow masked ANBU reported.
"Where?" Hiashi demanded.
"A dead end canyon about five miles from here," the ANBU responded after the Hokage nodded.
"Take us there!" Hiashi ordered, wishing he could bring some of his clan guards and mentally cursing the fact that they were all sealed.
A couple of minutes later…
"Ex rain nin?" Hiashi asked seeing the slashed protectors the two criminals wore.
"Unlikely," one of the ANBU reported. "Their tactics and jutsu are Cloud, they are simply giving Cloud plausible deniability.
"Release the girl," the Hokage demanded, stepping forward.
"We'll kill her!" one of the nin warned, putting a little more pressure on the blade at her throat, perhaps thinking that a couple of drops of blood would prove their intentions. The girl vanished in a poof of smoke as soon as the kunai cut her skin. The two froze in shock for a moment allowing the Hokage more than enough time to knock them out.
"What happened? Where is my daughter?!" Hiashi demanded confused.
"Already rescued and replaced with a shadow clone," the Hokage said with a chuckle. "And that along with the earlier warning about traps means that only one person could have been responsible."
"Naruto," the ANBU chorused.
"What?"
"Naruto Uzumaki, who is well known for his escapes and inventive use of shadow clones, rescued your daughter while on his way out of the village," the Hokage said with a sigh.
"What would he want with my daughter?!"
"Nothing, but he can't abandon a young girl on her own either, so he'll take her along with him."
"Where would he go?"
"The circus or a carnival most likely," Sarutobi said unconcerned.
"I…see," Hiashi said clearly now more confused than ever.
"Uzumaki hunt?" Squirrel asked eagerly.
"Uzumaki hunt," the Hokage agreed.
"I got a thousand that says over a month," Squirrel said eagerly.
"I'll take that bet," Mouse said. "He's got a tag-along, that should not only slow him down, but should also make him easy to find."
Hiashi looked around feeling more and more out of his depth as bets were exchanged with even the Hokage taking part.
"Bets are finalized, no more betting!" the Hokage announced, writing down all the bets and pocketing a notebook.
"Don't forget you guys are going to be working with a handicap," Squirrel teased. "Cause I'll be with Ibiki working on these two."
The curses from the rest of the ANBU were loud and varied before they vanished in all directions leaving Squirrel to carry off the two prisoners.
"They tracked and located two experienced nin in less time than I thought possible, why then would it take over a month to find my daughter and Uzumaki?" Hiashi asked.
"They are so adept at tracking because they get a lot of practice tracking down Naruto, but his ability to shake them grows at an even greater rate, it's only the fact that he will always join a circus or carnival that guarantees they'll always find him."
"Then why the bet of longer than a month? Surely you can have the circuses notify you when he joins."
"Not likely," the Hokage snorted. "They consider him one of them. If we requested the information it would just give him another tool to spread disinformation with."
"And he was dead last in the academy?" Hiashi asked, knowing Naruto had been placed on a team with the last Uchiha who had been Rookie of the Year."
"He considers tests…"
"A tool to spread disinformation?" Hiashi asked.
"Yes, but to be fair he'd probably fail any tests on history and things of that nature, as he could care less about anything taught that isn't practical, like classes that cover our history and traditions."
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
As soon as she awoke Hanabi pawed at her face to make sure her eyes were still in her head.
"I got you away from there, relax," Naruto said offering her a bowl of stew.
Hanabi looked around and saw she was on a bedroll next to a campfire with a blond boy. She accepted the bowl, her stomach growling at the smell. "Thank you."
"It's no problem, kiddo," Naruto said.
"I am Hyuuga Hanabi," she said firmly. "Not kiddo. Hyuuga-sama isn't out of line, though Hyuuga-san will suffice."
Naruto grinned. "We're out of the village, you don't have to do none of that noble stuff. Plus, we need to change your looks and manner before we join a caravan so we can lose the ninja still tracking us."
"We're still being followed?!" she asked worriedly.
"In a month, two at the latest Leaf ANBU will find us and take us back," Naruto said thoughtfully. "In the meantime, we need disguises so we don't get snatched early."
Hanabi listened as she ate the stew, figuring that Naruto was a Leaf nin sent to rescue, protect and hide her, until ANBU could escort them home. She wasn't sure why they had to hide out, but obviously it was for political reasons, so for the good of the clan she dare not fail!
"It'll be hard to hide your eyes, so I figure we'd snag you a cane and pretend you're blind. If we do that and dye your hair red, no one will believe you're the missing Hanabi Hyuuga."
"I-I don't know how to pretend to be blind," Hanabi admitted.
"It's easy," Naruto promised her. "Give me a week and I will teach you how to trick the rubes and take their cash like candy from a baby."
"Really?" Hanabi asked curiously, amazed at how talented a trainer Naruto must be to trust his ability to teach her to be a spy that quickly, misunderstanding what he was saying.
A week later…
"Ranko!" the red haired boy called out, worry in his voice as he peered around the crowd.
"Big brother!" a blind little girl with identical red hair answered back, tapping her cane on the ground as she bumped into people hurrying to find her brother.
He swept her up in a hug, noting she'd gained about ten pounds in purses and jewelry in her rush through the crowd. "Don't wander off like that, you worry your big brother so!" he scolded as they vanished around a corner.
"Did we get enough now?" she asked.
"That's up to you," he replied. "I'd say we have more than enough, but it's your call."
"Maybe one more run through," she said grinning evilly.
"Don't get greedy now," he cautioned her, amused.
"OK, but it's hard," she said with a sigh. "They're just so easy!"
He laughed. Hanabi had taken to life on the road faster than even he had.
Typing by: The Last Primarch!