This is our longest chapter by a long shot, but we swear, this has to make you laugh at some point or you have no humor streak in you whatsoever! *Clears throat* Anyways, Windy-san and I were laughing our butts off when we wrote this. Just picturing the scene that is about to unfold here makes me giggle so I hope it makes you giggle too :) This is our most definitely FAVORITE chapter of all times!

Sorry for not replying to most of you yesterday. it's been a bit hectic trying to keep up with College, but I thank you all, especially those who said I was or should stop being an idiot for thinking that way. No better moment to be called idiot, right? XD

27- Curiosity killed the cat

Before I tell you why curiosity killed the cat, first I must tell you a little "incident" I had a few nights before, that led to a string of unfortunate events…

It was nightfall when I was making my way around the woods, gathering some plants that Aragorn had taught me were eatable. Suddenly I hear this deep, manly moan, and I felt this ticklish sensation run through me, and for some reason my human instincts took over. Before I knew it, my feet were making their way towards the source of the alluring sound. Slowly and as silently as possible, I made my way towards the edge of the river. I saw movement behind the bushes near the edge, so I crouched down and crawled the rest of the way towards the edge, making sure I was not seen by these figures. And through a narrow gap between some branches, I could clearly see what I thought I would never see here in Middle earth, for it was none other than noble Aragorn giving Boromir what seemed like… a back massage in the river? But not just that, they were both stark naked, their bodies glistering under the moon light, droplets of water glittering on their muscly skin. Holy moly! My heart was beating quicker than the wings of a humming bird. I could see now that the moans were coming from Boromir, who seemed to really enjoy the massage he was receiving from Aragorn. My God were those moans doing wonders to me! Who would have thought Boromir had such a sexy voice? I knew that Aragorn is a healer, and that men giving these types of massages to each other was really nothing more than a simple act of brotherly love, but my mind kept going in strange directions. Now I get why the fangirls go gaga about pairing these two.

I was so lost in thought over these two splendidly gorgeous men, that it wasn't until he was literally hovering over me, that I noticed his presence.

"What do you think you are doing?"

His voice was like an ice blizzard that froze my entire body. Slowly I looked up and I felt my soul leave my body at the sight of the coldest, cerulean eyes, staring down at me like I was an insignificant bug that he was about to squash.

"H-h-hi Legolas… what brings you here?"

Big mistake. Without warning he grabbed me by the ear and literally hauled me by it, dragging me back to the camp with a hand over my mouth to avoid my screams of pain that would have alerted the men of our presence. At least he had that decency of saving their dignity… and mine, to a certain point. It took a lot of explaining from my part to let the elf see that it had not been my intention to come across the men in the first place, and even though it took a while, I finally convinced him that it really was an accident. Though that doesn't mean I didn't receive some sort of punishment, like having to do everything he told me to for a week, under the threat that he would tell on me if I didn't.

But I was not that easily discouraged! If there's something I'm proud about myself is that I'm stubborn as a mule. Sure Legolas was an inconvenience, for the next week he didn't let me out of his sight for long, but with time he mellowed down. Ha ha! Never underestimate the patience and will of a woman! I searched for the perfect opportunity to spy on those lovely bodies once more. So one night when Legolas was hunting, I took this opportunity to wait until everybody else left to take a bath on the river and planned it out. I followed Aragorn and Borimir from a distance, but while making sure to stay far from their ear or eye shot, I lost sight of them. So I did the only logical thing and walked straight towards the river, hoping that I would encounter them once more. Now as I was nearing the edge, I heard a splash and making sure, once more, to be very careful, I crouched down and hid behind the bushes. My heart kept thumping against my chest as I was about to see that beautiful scene again. Everything was perfect, the light of the moon, the silence of the forest, the gentle splashing sounds. And finally, as my head peeked through the branches, I saw what could only be describes as the most horrific thing I had ever seen in my entire life… There was a naked man alright, but it was NOT who I had expected. My eyes nearly blew out of their sockets as I saw none other than Gimli the (big, hairy) dwarf. I had to bite down my tongue to avoid screaming in horror. Oh God, so much hair, hair everywhere! It took every ounce of my self control not to jump from the bush and run away, but somehow I managed to slip away and wretch my stomach out.

When I came back to camp, I found Legolas sitting with Aragorn and Boromir. When I see them, I stop dead in my tracks, asking myself what they were doing here when they were supposed to be bathing and Legolas hunting. Said elf was tinkering with one of his arrows, and without looking up, said to me:

"So, had a lovely stroll by the river, Alexandra?"

He raised his face to me, and the biggest, most evil smirk plastered across his face while his eyes shone with knowing malice. I was stunned to my core. Boromir and Aragorn were looking at me with pissed expressions, their arms crossed over their chests. I couldn't believe it, the little son of a b*tch! He tricked me! The sleaze, scheming, devil, son of a half troll! I was so freaking furious (although later on I would admit I sort of deserved it, but that was a very long time after) I stomped away, cursing the most foul profanities I could think of, while imagining murdering him a thousand different ways. I was still crossing the campsite just as Gimli returned. He was completely oblivious to what had happened, so he merrily stopped as I approached him and said:

"Hi lassie, why so flushed?"

"Shut the hell hole up! It's all your fault!"

And after that I ran away crying into the forest, with Legolas' laugh haunting me in the background. Thus the cat learned her lesson, and never, EVER, spied on them again.

Windy-san and I were laughing our asses off as we wrote this chapter. We can't help but love how bad-ass Legolas is in our story. This is by far our favorite chapter! We hope you enjoyed it as well!