Master and Commander, Not Really

Harry yawned, sat up in bed, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

He watched as a large green octopus grabbed various black robed figures and flung them around the enormous ballroom lit by three rather large chandeliers. Harry was almost certain he was dreaming as an orange-skinned woman flew past shooting green bolts from her hands and eyes, but the shock of cold black marble of his warm feet dispersed that notion. A man in a red robe then threw balls of crimson energy at a pale-skinned girl with very nice legs, who blocked them with her shadow, that she was manipulating somehow.

Harry sat back down on his bed and pulled his wand out from under his pillow. Ignoring the battle raging around him he cast a warming charm on the floor and stood back up. He sighed in relief as the floor warmed his feet before going to the foot of his bed and opening his trunk to grab toiletries and clean clothes. "Point me bathroom," he commanded and a glowing white arrow appeared in the air in front of him.

"Death, I have made the proper sacrifices and performed the proper rituals!" the red robed figure intoned loudly over the noise of the battle. "I command you, stop them!"

Harry brought out his wand and cast a room wide impediment curse slowing everyone's movements to a crawl. "I'm going to shower and change," Harry called out. "I'll deal with you all when I get back."

To everyone's shock he calmly walked out of the room.

"Raven, can you break the spell?" Robin called out, his staff barely moving towards the jaw of his opponent.

Raven was slowly drifting towards the ground. "I'm not sure, it's strong, but I think it'll wear off in a little while."

"I see that I have to be more exact in my instructions," the red robed man said, as physically immobilized as the heroes attacking him.

"When you gotta go, you gotta go," Beastboy replied, having shifted back to human form and lying in mid-air like he was on the sofa, slowly inching through the air.

"You are claiming death had to 'go to the can'?" Starfire asked, hands outstretched to blast a group of black robed men.

"That's ridiculous," one of the black robed men said lying flat on his back on the floor, Cyborg standing over him.

"I don't know," Cyborg said his left arm slowly morphing into a canon. "He could just enjoy the feeling of pretending to be alive and has the power to indulge himself."

A chorus of agreement came from almost everyone present before everyone fell silent.

"Anyone wanna play 'I Spy'?" Beastboy asked.

"No!" came the near universal chorus.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Harry finished his shower and got dressed in clean robes feeling much more awake. He made a slight detour past the kitchen on his way back to the ballroom. As he entered he saw a man in a gold helm that covered the wearer's face slowly unraveling his spell. "Would you like me to end it?" he asked politely between bites of his BLT.

"I've got it," Dr. Fate said, as the spell dissolved into nothing and everyone on the floor climbed back to their feet, though none of them appeared ready to restart the hostilities yet.

"Milord, Death," the red robed man said smugly.

"He's not Death," Dr. Fate interrupted.

"But the ritual!" The man protested.

"Your translation was inaccurate," Dr. Fate explained. "Instead of 'Death, who I shall be the master of' you summoned 'the master of Death'."

Everyone turned to Harry, who was examining what looked like a small pile of rags and blood at the edge of the summoning circle. "You better have a good explanation for this," he growled out, as the air in the room took on a greasy feel like the air just after a lightning strike.

"I do, I do!" the red robed man squealed.

"I'm listening," Harry said coldly.

"All the sacrifices are just as required, children for whom death is a blessing and would be welcomed with open arms."

"That's horrible," Starfire whispered.

"I agree," the man said. "What they were going through was horrible and if anyone involved had, had any common decency they would have given them an overdose of painkillers and let them go, not kept them alive and in pain!"

Harry rolled a gold coin across his knuckles and a white ghostly shape formed above the tiny wasted corpse. "Hi," the ghost of a little girl said softly. "I don't hurt anymore!" she cheered and spun in place. "I can walk and it doesn't hurt! Do I get to see, grampy now?"

"Yes little one, you're free to see, grampy now," Harry said and the spirit faded away.

The entire room had fallen silent in shock and horror.

Harry turned to the man and nodded. "That's one good deed, let's check the others."

"Killing the child was a good deed?" Robin demanded.

"Be very careful what you say," Harry said coldly, "Because I can arrange for you to never be granted the mercy of death!"

Dr. Fate put a hand on Robin's shoulder and he swallowed what he'd been about to say.

The second body was a third of the way around the circle and half again as large as the last one and though still heartrendingly small.

Harry flipped the coin in the air and a young girl just about Hogwarts age formed out of white vapor. "Hi!"

"Hello," Harry said kindly. "How have you been?"

"Not so good," the girl admitted sadly. "It's been getting harder and harder and Mommy's been crying a lot. It feels like it's time for something, but they keep me in a bed and won't let me go."

"You can go now," Harry promised.

"Really?!"

"Really."

Ghostly lips met his for a moment before vanishing with a giggle.

"Most people get noisy ghosts, I get hormonal ones," he said with a sigh. "Two good deeds."

"They might have cured her," Robin argued.

"And monkeys might fly out of my butt," Harry replied with a shrug. "I don't expect perfection from people. That little girl was fading and her parents had just discovered her baby brother had the same thing, but it was caught early enough to be dealt with in his case. Unfortunately they were having a hard time coming up with the money to keep her alive and treat her little brother, and she knew it."

"How do you know all this?" Robin demanded.

"Because I do," Harry said. "I know quite a lot about death and things closely connected to it."

"You are the master of Death," Dr. Fate said with a slight nod.

"That's my title," Harry agreed, "but it's kinda like calling a janitor a sanitation engineer. When it comes right down to it I'm more the servant of death than her master."

"Her?" Beastboy asked.

"Yes her," Harry agreed as he came to the final body a girl in her teens who was heavily scarred and missing a leg from the knee down and both arms.

"I guessed with her," the red robed man admitted. "Car accident, combined with half a dozen serious problems. Her spinal cord was partially severed paralyzing her but leaving her able to feel pain. I can't think of anything worse than lying in pain unable to move while waiting to die."

Harry flipped the gold coin a few times while white vapor seeped from the corpse until it formed a truly pissed young woman. "You bastard!"

"What!" the man asked in shock as the ghost shot towards Raven only to be blocked by her shadow. Stymied it grabbed the nearest body which just happened to be Beastboy.

"Two out of three isn't bad," Harry said thoughtfully, as Beastboy's form shifted into a red haired girl in her late teens.

"Murderer!" she cried out, turning into a black wolf and stalking forward.

Raven quickly trapped her in chains of black energy that kept her from attacking the red robed man.

Changing back into a red haired young woman she called out, "Let me go! He deserves to die!"

"B-but you were going to die anyway!" the red robed man exclaimed. "All I did was end your pain!"

"Yes, but it was my pain!" she yelled. "It let me know I was still alive and that I had something to fight for!"

"But it was hopeless!"

"I don't care!"

"A little help here," Raven suggested.

Harry flipped the coin high in the air, its every turn reeling the ghost back towards him and out of Beastboy's body.

"I cry vengeance!" she pleaded with Harry.

"How about I just restore you to life?" Harry asked.

"You can do that?!" half a dozen people demanded.

"I'm a chick!" Beastboy exclaimed in shock noticing he was still a well built redhead.

"Have you tried to change back?" Raven asked concerned.

Beastboy shifted back to his usual green-skinned self and stuck his hand down his pants, sighing in relief at what he found.

"There are many states of dead and you are one I can fix," Harry promised.

"Only mostly dead," she asked raising a ghostly eyebrow as she quoted Billy Crystal.

"No you're fully dead," Harry said missing the connection. "But there's a difference between dead and gone, and here and dead."

"Necromancy-" Dr. Fate began.

"Is solely the province of death," Harry interrupted him, "or her staff. A being of order such as yourself can hardly argue with that."

"True," Dr. Fate acknowledged.

Harry levitated her corpse, banishing the bloody rags covering it and revealing it in all its damaged glory.

"The world really did a number on me," she said.

"You're proud of that fact," Raven said in surprise.

"I withstood all life did to me."

"Until you died," Raven pointed out.

"No one gets out of this plane of existence alive," the red haired ghost replied, "Life kills everyone in the end, hell it can kill me, but it can't break me!"

"Amen," Cyborg said with a wide smile, reminding everyone of what he'd been through to become the man he was today. "I'll make you replacements for the missing bits."

"Got it covered," Harry said summoning a goblet from his trunk. "Beastboy, can I borrow a glass?"

"Of what?" Beastboy said suspiciously.

"Guess," Harry replied.

"I don't think I could fill that cup in less than a month," Beastboy said, clearly misreading Harry's request.

Raven groaned. "Never tell him to guess again."

"Blood," Harry said flatly.

"Oh, thank god," the ghost muttered.

"The whole thing?!" he whined.

"Just a quarter or so," Harry promised.

"I suppose," he agreed grudgingly.

"Good," Harry said. "Melvin, get over here."

The red robed mage approached looking at the ghost nervously.

"I'm going to need a sacrifice on your part," Harry said.

"I… I deserve it," the man admitted his shoulders slumping.

Harry started chanting and wisps of blood flowed from the two dead little girls into the teen's floating corpse.

"That's evil!" Raven exclaimed.

"Only because it requires freshly dead children," Harry argued as the redhead's body quickly filled in, scars fading, limbs restored, skin blemish free.

"I never looked that good when I was alive," the ghost said in wonder.

"Your breasts were bigger when you were me," Beastboy said.

"It was an idealized version of herself," Raven explained.

"Hold the cup," Harry said, handing it to Beastboy before turning back to the ghost. "We'll start you off as lesser undead and work our way up. Possess your corpse and think zombie."

"This is wrong on so many levels," Raven said.

"Normally this is all handled at the way station between life and death," Harry admitted, "but since I'm here we might as well handle it here."

"C-cold," the corpse complained the temperature in the area dropping as frost formed in her hair.

"The cup," Harry requested.

Beastboy looked in it in shock as Harry took it. "How'd you fill it without me noticing?"

"Magic," Harry replied as he helped the zombie drink the goblet of blood. "Vampire," he intoned as color returned to her cheeks and her body gained curves that caused Beastboy to drool until Raven smacked him in the back of the head.

"Give her your wrist, Melvin," Harry ordered.

Melvin rolled up his sleeve and offered his right arm, which she promptly sank her teeth into.

"Magic in the blood, Melvin," Harry ordered.

An aura of energy quickly sprung up around him and visibly was drawn into the neo-vamp. When the aura of red was completely gone from Melvin, Harry nodded. "Enough, Alice. Dhampire," he intoned.

Alice kept sucking in a world of her own, until Harry conjured a two by four and broke it over her head.

"Ow!" she screeched, holding her head.

"How do you feel?" Harry asked.

"Like someone just broke a 2x4 over my head!" she complained.

"Other than that," Harry said rolling his eyes.

"I feel… alive! I'm alive!" she cheered.

"So am I," Melvin said dizzily. "How'd that happen?"

"I told you two out of three wasn't bad," Harry said, "Now why were you summoning Death?"

"Probably money or power," Robin said, "that's the usual reason for most criminals."

"I'd fall under power," Melvin admitted. "I want the power to prevent the children under my care from dying when they don't need to. Do you know what it's like to operate on a five year old boy for over twenty hours only to watch him die for no reason you can name?"

"And you guys?" Harry asked rather than let the awkward silence stretch on.

"Six of one, half a dozen of the other," one of the black robed thugs admitted. "He's paying us, but we're working cheap because we thought he could do it."

"I… I do not feel good about bagging this bad guy," Starfire admitted.

"I hate morally ambiguous cases like this," Robin admitted. "But doing evil to do good, is still evil."

"Actually he was attempting to do good that appeared evil to do good," Harry pointed out cheerfully.

"Regardless we have the bodies of two little girls and someone has to take the fall for that," Robin said.

"What bodies?" Harry asked.

Everyone looked around but the bodies were gone.

"Alice was injured enough that it took everything to heal her," Harry admitted, "so no bodies."

"Just families heartbroken their children have died," Beastboy said.

"In this case they'll be relieved," Raven corrected him. "They'll feel horrible for feeling relieved, but it allows them to move on and in one case save her little brother."

"We can testify about what we've seen," Dr. Fate pointed out.

"But is that in the interest of justice?" Harry asked. "Melvin meant well, was right in two out of three cases and we've fixed the third."

"Did more than just fix me," Alice said before noticing something. "Hey, I can fly!"

"Speaking of consequences," Harry said. "Melvin, I'm going to grant your wish."

"Really?" He asked, looking a bit pale from blood loss.

"Yeah," Harry agreed, "but it's as much curse as blessing. You aren't the first that's requested something like this."

"So we won," one of the black robed minions asked.

"Yes," Harry replied. "You helped to free two souls in pain, heal another, and get Melvin the power he needed to help save the lives of the children in his care."

"None of this sits right with me," Robin said.

"Nor should it," Dr. Fate said. "Mortals are not supposed to witness much of what you've seen this day."

The thugs shed their robes and left them a pile, each shaking Melvin's hand before leaving.

"I guess we go home now?" Beastboy said questioningly.

"I'll give you something to ease your minds first," Dr. Fate said, opening an ankh shaped gate to his home that they all walked through leaving Melvin behind.

The group looked around what appeared to be a large library with torches on the rough stone walls and smooth black marble floors.

"If you'll all wait here, I'll be right back," Dr. Fate said.

"The minions are already forgetting what they witnessed," Harry explained. "The average human mind tends to glass over these types of events and frankly none of them were Einstein."

"What about Melvin?" the floating redhead asked.

"Nightmares and a fear of the dark," Harry said. "It's part of the price he paid, not that it matters."

"What do you mean by that?" Robin asked intently.

"I mean he'll likely be dead in a couple of months."

"What?!" the Titans chorused in concern.

"Listen," Harry explained, "the power to hold death back is no light matter. He asked out of concern for the children under his care, which means he will likely overuse the ability despite what it costs him."

"I… Shit! Now I feel bad for him and he killed me," the red haired girl said with a sigh.

"Don't feel sorry for him," Harry said. "He knew exactly what he was getting into and when he dies I'll see about getting him a job watching over children."

"Servant of Death?" Raven asked eying Harry.

"More like chief of staff," Harry admitted. "I wear quite a few hats."

"Why are you still here?" Raven asked. "I'd think you'd have more important things to do."

"I have to help Alice get used to her new form and abilities," Harry replied. "It'd be rude to make her a Dhampir with no one around to teach her."

"What is a Dhampir?" Alice asked enjoying floating in the air.

"A half vampire," Raven said.

"Not quite but close," Harry said seeing the concerned looks. "You're a living vampire."

"What's the difference?" she asked.

"Well for one thing you don't have to drink blood it's just an option."

"Garlic?"

"Horrible gas."

"Stake in the heart?"

"Would kill everyone here," Harry replied.

"Decapitation?"

"Likewise."

"Fire?" she asked.

"No more than anyone else."

"Holy water and crosses?"

"Mild allergy if used by a true believer and symbols of death or eternity such as an ankh like Dr. Fate uses actually comforts and helps you heal."

"Thresholds?" Beastboy jumped in.

"Can feel them and tell something about the house's inhabitants but won't prevent entry. However you'll never sleep easy in a place you're not invited in."

"Counting things!" Cyborg jumped in.

"What?" Alice asked.

"Humans don't always adapt well to immortality," Harry explained, "OCD is pretty common in older vampires. People could escape some vamps by throwing things like a bag of beans on the ground because they'd be compelled to stop and count them."

"I'm not going to do that, am I?" she asked worriedly.

"Only if you decide to stick around a couple hundred years," Harry assured her. "As a living vamp you can control your age so you can grow old and die or stay young for centuries."

"Can she be photographed and does she cast a reflection?" Beastboy asked.

"Shouldn't she be asking the questions?" Raven asked.

"Sounds like they know what to ask better than I do," Alice replied.

"Reflections are tricky things," Harry said shaking his head. "I asked mine to stop moving things left and right and he had a hissy fit and mooned me. After a week of that I ate a carrot in front of the mirror and he's been hiding ever since."

Everyone just stared at him.

"OK, bad example," Harry admitted. "Your reflection and image will have a lot more animation than normal people, but I'll explain that while training you."

"Cross running water?" Beastboy offered.

"Water's no problem, but no walking on it, as it offends a lot of people."

"How about all the cool vampire powers?" Cyborg asked.

"Like what?" Alice asked curiously.

"Flight for one," Beastboy pointed out.

"That's a check," Harry agreed.

"Superhuman strength, speed, and toughness?" Robin asked.

"Varies, but yes," Harry agreed. "Anyway I'll be training her, not providing the paranoid a list of her powers."

Dr. Fate chose that minute to return bearing a tray covered in what appeared to be mugs of coco.

Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai