I owe you the biggest apology in the world. But my exams are done and I will do my best to publish new chapters more often than it happened last few months. I made this chapter as long as possible and also, at the end you'll have a small apology-surprise. ;)

xxx

"Is it true?" Eir managed through gritted teeth, burying her face against Loki's chest. She inhaled deeply, allowing his scent to overtake and calm her; it probably shouldn't.

For the love of the gods, she definitely shouldn't.

"Shhh, love," Loki mumbled. He planted a chaste kiss on the top of her head and hid his face in her soft, red hair. It was… soothing, to hold her so close. Her cheeks were damp and her dress not as fine as she deserved; she smelled of smoke from the kitchens, but felt like satin against his skin. He was startled to realize that he wanted her to have so much more than this. He pushed the thought aside, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the bed. "Come, sit down."

She followed obediently, her gaze locked on the floor, tears slipping down her cheeks. When he pushed her to sit on the bed, she folded gracelessly, like a doll. And still the tears came; it bothered him more than was reasonable.

"Now, now," he murmured, kneeling so their faces were on an equal level. She refused to look at him; instead, she looked down at her lap intently, as if her hands curled around something fascinating, something he couldn't see. He was bewildered to realize that even when her nose was red, her eyes swollen, and her teeth chewing at chapped lips – even then he couldn't imagine anyone more beautiful than she. Loki clenched his jaw, and breathed deeply. He waited for his nerves to steady and gently guided one of her hands to cup his cheek, immersing himself in her calming touch. "Do not cry."

Eir nodded dumbly, still avoiding his eyes. Her touch betrayed her, fingers caressing him willingly, almost desperately. She sniffled and her lips trembled.

"Love," he crooned, kissing the inside of her palm lightly. He was unskilled at comforting women, he knew. He'd never been interested in doing so—until now. "Really, there is no reason to cry like this."

"Is that what you think?" she asked huskily. Loki winced at her tone, carefully neutral but wavering with unspoken pain. She lifted her head abruptly, once lively eyes now sunken and reproachful. "You think I have no reason to cry?"

A beat of silence. She glared as though she hated him, but her fingers still skimmed his face, feather light. As if her body had a mind of its own.

"Of course you don't have a reason," Loki growled, eyes narrowing dangerously. He clenched his jaw, struggling to remain calm. "Next time, perhaps you will ask me before leaping to conclusions."

Confusion and surprise warred within her. She recoiled from him unconsciously, fingers worrying at the rough fabric of her dress. He watched her twist the material in knots until thoughtless words slipped from her tongue.

"Your engagement isn't reason enough?"

Loki's jaw clenched and he jerked to his feet, fists clenching violently at his sides. Eir couldn't find the courage to meet his eye, bowing her head to watch him through wet lashes. She trembled and curled into herself, as if she could disappear if only she tried hard enough.

His chest heaved, his lips pressed thin, his dark eyes shining with anger and something else she couldn't name. Her eyes caught on his chest, admiring the way his robes tightened across ropy muscle to the rhythm of spastic breathing. Liquid heat blossomed low in her belly, so she took a sharp breath and trained her eyes back on her lap.

The weight of his stare across her shoulders made her feel even smaller and more lost than before. His gaze softened the slightest bit, but he was still too furious to bother comforting her.

It hurt.

What does one more wound matter when everything is agony?

When he spoke, his voice shook with rage. It seemed impossible that such quiet words could hold so much emotion.

"Last I checked, I was not promised to anyone. But perhaps you know more about my marital status than I." He paused, watching her as if he expected an answer. When she remained silent, he continued. "Do you think me a monster, after all? Was it a lie, what you told me when I was imprisoned? You wanted to comfort the pitiful, so you lied to me."

His last words were a venomous hiss. Eir hugged herself tightly, as if to shield herself from the accusations. She shook her head frantically, words tripping and stuttering on her tongue. She hated when he was like this. She knew he would never hurt her physically, knew it in her bones. But when he was angered, when he wore his power like a cloak, she was painfully reminded of the horrors he was capable of unleashing. Monster or not, he was damn powerful.

"Slower and louder," he commanded. His anger was still palpable, arrogance born from years living as a prince in the palace evident in his posture, though he spoke evenly.

"I do not," Eir whispered, flicking her eyes to his as a sign of her honesty before bowing her head once more. Surely, she would melt under the intensity of his gaze.

"You do not what?" The way he spoke sent shivers down her spine and she gulped for air. She would almost prefer yelling. She pulled her legs up, ignoring the fact that she was dirtying his bedding with her shoes as she scooted away from him until the far wall pressed against her back, cold even through the fabric of her dress.

"I don't think you're a monster," she breathed, quivering. She didn't want to think about why she was reacting this way.

Privately, she could admit that it was the overpowering mixture of magic and rage. She couldn't be sure if Loki was acting deliberately, but she suspected that he knew very well the effect he had on her.

"Then why are you frightened?" His eyes pinned her in place, words hanging in the air like insidious smoke. When she didn't answer, he pursed his lips and crawled onto the bed, kneeling next to her. She flinched away from him, but there was nowhere left to go; his mood soured further at her reaction.

Perhaps he should not; perhaps this wasn't… right. He crushed the errant thought. She was lying to him; everything she did put the lie to her words…

And it hurt.

"I asked you a question," he hissed through clenched teeth, his heart beating unsteadily. "And I demand an answer."

"You're doing this to me," she mumbled. She was rooted in place, wanting the comfort of his body pressed against hers but fearing what he might do if he got too close. She squared her jaw and met his eye. "You're acting like this to frighten me."

Loki inhaled slowly, dropping his gaze. He shifted to sit next to her, back to the wall as weariness replaced arrogance. He shut his eyes, head resting against the wall and arms on his knees. "I do not mean to."

Eir turned to watch him, inhaling sharply. He opened his eyes and stared at nothing, empty of all emotion.

"Loki," she whispered, shifting until she was touching his arm. He tensed at her touch, but didn't so much as look at her. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. "I'm sorry."

Silence. She pulled herself closer, kneeling by his side and rubbing at the material of her dress. Tears threatened again, but she pursed her lips and blinked them away stubbornly. She reached out cautiously, as if he were a wild animal, and ran her fingers through his hair. He pulled away immediately, as if her touch burned him.

"Leave me," he snarled. "Don't waste your touch on a monster."

She winced, but didn't speak. Instead, she skimmed her fingertips across his cheek lovingly. He groaned and shuddered, but she didn't move away.

She'd been an irrational fool. The thoughts of leaving him; the worry of his marriage with Princess Cecilia; the fear that she was nothing more than a toy for him to play with—none of it mattered, now. She wouldn't give up so easily, she knew that now. But her heart sank at seeing him so; he'd lost himself again. He was the lonely prince, Queen Frigga's wayward son. This was the Loki she'd come to know in the prison, her friend and bright light, now dimmed.

"He isn't evil, Eir, I know it; he has simply lost his way… my wayward son."

"Loki," she sighed, tracing his jawline with her fingers. She found herself wondering, as she often had, why Thor kept so much… hair on his face while Loki's was smooth as a babe's. He flinched, but didn't move away as before. Emboldened, she moved closer, pressing herself into his side.

"I thought I was something more to you," he confessed, finally meeting her eye. He was paler than usual, a feat in and of itself. "I thought- When you said I was not a monster- I wanted to believe that you meant it."

"I did." She rested her forehead against his arm. "I do."

"No. I am a monster." He massaged his temples roughly, as if he was trying to physically push away some unwanted thought.

Cold bled through the thick material of his robe, making Eir shiver. She pulled away to see Loki wearing the form of a Frost Giant. His skin was covered in darker raised designs and crimson eyes stared at her damningly. She leaned toward him with a sigh, ignoring the chill running down her spine as she kissed his cheek.

"No, Loki. You aren't." She squirmed her way into his arms, making a place for herself between his legs. She shivered from toes to crown, but she settled against his chest, pressing herself as close as possible to him and resting her hand near his heart. It beat slowly, too slowly for her liking. She wondered if it had something to do with the Frost Giants unique biology before pushing her curiosity aside.

"Leave me," he mumbled. Still, he did not push her away. He let his head fall forward, taking a deep, almost desperate breath, his nose inches from her forehead. "I'm not worth it."

Eir shook her head firmly and twisted upwards until she could press her lips against his. It was a clumsy kiss, but it made something inside him awaken. He groaned, arms moving automatically to embrace her as his legs curled over hers, trapping her in his hold. To say that she didn't mind would be an understatement. She felt flushed and warm, though she couldn't tell if he'd changed back to his usual form or if it was the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She refused to open her eyes as his lips moved frantically against hers. He took control hungrily and she felt utterly relieved.

Loki was back.

His hands sent shivers down her spine. She twisted around, crushing her chest to his without breaking the kiss. His tongue flicked against her lips, but didn't go any further, tasting her as his hands kneaded her flesh.

"Loki," Eir gasped into his mouth, taking advantage of the splinter of time they parted to take a breath. He growled at the sound of his name, jamming their mouths together as if he could taste it on her lips if only he was fast enough.

Abruptly, he pushed her away, cradling her head against his shoulder. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck and planted a kiss on his pulse point, reveling in the drumbeat of his heart.

"Enough," he said huskily, resting his cheek on the top of her head. She couldn't see him, but she was certain he was watching her. "What are you smiling at?"

"You," she answered lazily, allowing her lips to skim against his skin when she spoke. Loki took a deep breath, but didn't comment.

They were silent for a long time. Eir placed her hand over his heart, finding it unbelievably soothing to feel his heartbeat slowing beneath her palm. He still clutched her to him, not even trying to find a reason for his actions this time. He was tired of needing a reason for everything he did. Let it be, at least for a few moments.

"Can't we just… leave?" The question slipped from her lips before she could stop it and she covered her mouth with chagrin. Things had been so calm and… good. Now she'd brought the demons back.

"And go where," he asked shortly, though he didn't pull away, to her great surprise. He sounded sleepy and she felt her lips curling into another smile at the sound.

"I don't know. Away," she whispered, easing back into his arms again, relieved that he wasn't angry. "Just… somewhere we could be together."

"It's not that easy," Loki said slowly, lazily moving his hand through her hair. "A king can't just disappear. We would be forced to free… my father," he stopped and she could feel his jaw tense. Without thinking, she traced his jawline, trying to ease him. The position was awkward, but she didn't mind. Despite all the crying, all the messy emotions, she couldn't remember feeling better than now, with Loki hugging her tightly to his chest.

She felt safe.

Happy.

Maybe even… loved.

"He would chase us," Loki finished almost inaudibly, bending to kiss her head. Eir purred at that, nuzzling closer to him, a ghost of a smile on her lips. A sudden realization hit her and she looked at him with wide eyes.

"But if it were possible…would you?"

Loki took her in, lingering on her wild eyes, still swollen but without any sign of tears. Her lips were a raw red, roughened from kisses and turned up in the most wonderful smile he could imagine. He let himself enjoy the view as she waited patiently for his answer, fairly shining with surprise, hope, happiness.

"Yes." Something loosened in his chest, a tightness he hadn't even been aware of until it was gone.

Eir took a deep breath and smiled wider in delight. He hadn't thought it was possible, but she was even more beautiful than before, her eyes shining with something he hadn't seen in a long time. It… reminded him of Queen Frigga, of his mother. Her features were soft, intoxicating in their beauty.

At that moment, he swore to do whatever necessary to see that smile every day.

Even if it meant lying. Again.

xxx

"I have to go, love," he whispered, kissing the tip of her nose. Eir grumbled, embracing his neck and pulling him down to her level. He smiled, really smiled, and placed another kiss on her cheek. "I will lock the door with a spell; stay here. I'll tell the other servants that I needed you to rewrite some letters for me and clean my chambers during my absence. Make yourself comfortable."

Eir nodded slowly, blinking at him sleepily. They had napped for the last two hours or so and she was deliciously warm and happy. Loki rubbed his nose against her lips, making her smile involuntarily. It was odd. Peculiar. He wanted to be king, to rule. Yet, he felt utterly calm and content while lying with a servant.

Eir, he corrected himself quickly, giving in to the urge to kiss her chin. She squirmed against him with a quiet purr of delight, rubbing her hip against his groin. He had to use all of his willpower to control himself. The knowledge that she'd probably done so accidentally only aroused him even more. With a sharp inhale, he pulled away, all too aware that his pants were much tighter now than they had been moments ago.

"I'll be back late," he said calmly, though his voice was a bit hoarse. Eir propped herself on her elbows, tilting her head slightly as she looked up at him. "Don't wait up for me, love; sleep."

"And if I'm not sleepy?" she asked coyly, a flirtatious grin pulling at her lips, made bold in her happiness. Loki smirked at her, leaning down once again and placing his hands on either side of her.

"Then, by all means… wait for me," he whispered, planting a kiss on her rose-pink lips.

She smiled and fell back into the soft pillows. Emotions at war within him, he tucked her in, pulling the blankets up to her chin.

xxx

"All-Father?"

All the other guests were inside dancing, drinking, and eating. Loki had escaped to the balcony after exchanging polite words, dancing with noblewomen, and indulging in a few drinks. Just a few, though. He could not forget that Eir was in his room, likely anxiously waiting for his return, instead of sleeping. His sweet, innocent Eir.

As much as he loved having sex with her, he enjoyed her innocence even more. He'd been so relieved when she still acted as sweet, charming, and chaste as ever, despite his drunken advances. If she could remain so, he would willingly deprive himself of her. He never got tired of seeing her aroused by such little things—by his kisses and caresses, here and there. He could not forgive himself if that changed when he… sullied her. Again.

"King Surtur," he answered quietly, turning to face his companion in the torch light. It was getting late and the wind was icy, but he didn't mind.

"You are a difficult man to catch alone. I've been seeking a private conversation with you all evening," the king said, clearing his throat slightly. Loki raised his eyebrows in silent anticipation, though he could guess what the other man wanted. "I must know- have you given more thought to our proposition?"

Loki sighed and managed to keep from rolling his eyes.

"I have. And I must decline." He inclined his head in a silent apology. "Perhaps one day; not now."

Surtur sighed heavily before moving to stand at Loki's side, surveying the impressive gardens surrounding the palace. From this distance, it must appear that they were having polite conversation about flowers or similar trivialities. Below, couples meandered down the manicured paths, catching their breath and stealing kisses before rejoining the dance.

"As I thought," the King said, dragging the words out thoughtfully. "Cecilia likes you very much, All-Father."

"She is a fine young lady; she will have little trouble finding someone at her age," Loki mused, clenching his hands into fists behind his back, out of Surtur's view.

"Be reasonable, All-Father. Such a union is only to our advantage," he noted quietly, bowing his head, as if in shame. "My kingdom is not as powerful as it once was. Many suffer from hunger."

They were quiet for a moment, enjoying the fresh air. In such a place of feasting and laughter, it seemed impossible that there was such suffering on this world. But Loki knew all too well that it was true; on the way to the palace, the people's poverty had been plain to see. A union between Asgard and Muspelheim would undoubtedly be beneficial. And yet, all he could see was a pair of adoring green eyes. Would she agree to be a second wife? Could she stand to be his mistress, knowing that he would hold another, hers only in the briefest stolen moments?

He remembered the emptiness in her eyes just that morning, and knew. If he married someone else, she would never be his again.

"I will sign the pact tomorrow morning, and then we shall say our farewells," he mumbled, moving back into the ballroom. He paused at King Surtur's voice.

"Please consider it, All-Father; Cecilia would suit you well. She was raised to become Queen; she has perfect manners and a lovely form. Such a marriage would be a boon to both our kingdoms. I could lend you a great army of demons to patrol your lands, and your supplies would strengthen our markets, reestablish the Lords. Only think of it, King."

Loki did not reply. But walking back to his chambers, Surtur's words still haunted his thoughts.

xxx

Loki stared blankly at the wooden door before shaking himself out of his stupor and pulling it shut behind him. He was back in his rooms; his thoughts could keep another day. He was surprised to find Eir wearing nothing but his undershirt and curled up reading in an armchair. He stifled a groan and tried to ignore the twitch of his lower abdomen.

"Hello," she whispered as she snapped the book shut, making him jump in surprise.

Loki, startled by a book. Surely, Hell had frozen over.

"Hello Eir," he murmured, amazed that he'd managed to keep his voice soft as silk.

"I prepared you a bath." Her smile was sweet and polite, as always. She stood, and Loki swallowed convulsively at the sight. "I kept the water warm."

He found himself unable to form any sort of response, eyes devouring her perfect legs. The undershirt was too big for her, easily reaching mid-thigh, but he'd never seen anything so tempting. The many lovers he'd had, all enamored by the thought of sleeping with a prince of Asgard, paled in comparison to her.

Eir began to feel awkward under his gaze and fisted her hands in the material; the hem hitched upwards and Loki lost his breath.

Was she even aware of what she was doing to him?

"I bathed and washed my dress," she explained meekly, crimson coloring her cheeks. "So I borrowed this. I couldn't get another dress; the spell, it was too powerful for me. I didn't know how to break it."

She stuttered to a stop, still across the room from him and fidgeting uncomfortably. When he didn't respond, she licked her lips nervously, eyes flicking to him in bewilderment and lips slightly parted when he gasped at the gesture.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to annoy you," she said, lowering her gaze as if she thought he was angry. His eyes widened at the realization that that was exactly what she thought. "I should have asked if I could bathe before you left."

"No, Eir," he interrupted huskily, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes briefly as he tried to regain his composure, "You did no wrong; I am not angry. I… will bathe now."

He forced a half-smile and hurried towards the bathroom, inhaling deeply when he closed the door behind him. He was known for his self-control and stoicism, yet the very sight of her undid him. He'd hardly been able to stop himself from ripping that damn shirt off her.

With another calming breath, he peeled away the layers of clothing and let them fall to the floor. Her dress, still damp, hung on the back of a chair by the mirror. He harrumphed and stepped into the pool of water, wincing at the temperature.

He needed a cold shower, not a hot bath.

He sank into the tub, resting his head against the edge as his hands dangled over the sides. A vision of Eir wearing his shirt danced behind his eyelids, though he tried to force it away. She couldn't know the effect she had on him, else she'd not torture him so. When her creamy skin was so exposed, it felt like a sin to leave her alone. He was a shadow of a man for not taking the chance to caress her bare skin.

No. You want her to stay pure; innocent.

But the curve of her thigh… He ducked below the water, as if it could cleanse his thoughts as it drenched his hair.

Pure.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the door open and close. A shy whisper jolted his attention back to his surroundings.

"You forgot your night clothes."

Eir clasped his clothes as if they could shield her from his gaze, flushed and biting at her lip. Loki cleared his throat, forcing himself to look away.

"My thanks. Leave them on the chair," he managed through gritted teeth. What was she doing to him, the little temptress…

She did as he asked, hesitantly. Warmth spreading through her belly, and she licked at her lips, moving forward stealthily until she hovered just behind Loki. She bit her lip before skimming her fingers through his hair. She felt him stiffen beneath her touch and recoiled, ashamed.

"I… Can I help you wash your hair and back?" she whispered imploringly. She blushed at her own boldness; she didn't know what had come over her. The last few days she'd felt empty, achingly so. The strange sensation was centered in her groin, and though she'd pushed it aside while thoughts of Loki's engagement tormented her, now it was nearly impossible to ignore.

"Leave me," Loki whispered. His fingers clenched around the tub's edge, teeth gritted so hard he was surprised they didn't break.

"Why?" she asked plaintively, scooting closer until her stomach brushed the back of his head, the white shirt soon soaked with water from his hair.

"Eir, please, I don't want to-" he stopped and winced, agonizing over just what to say. Eir stilled, breath catching in her throat.

"You don't want to touch me?" Oh, how little you know. "Loki, do you think me ugly? Do I disgust you? Is that why you do not wish to touch me?"

Loki winced, his fingertips digging into the edge of the bathtub, though he still would not, could not, meet her eye.

"No, love. I do not think you are disgusting… but you must leave me now."

"But-" He wanted to scream the command again, but the words poured from her mouth. "Loki, please, if you do not find me disgusting then why? Why don't you desire me as I-" She bit her lower lip, breathing ragged. He'd stopped breathing all together. "I don't know what's happening to me. I've never felt like this before, Loki. I… I want you so badly. I want you to do things to me, things like you did that night, but I don't know why. Is it wrong to want that with you?"

By the time the last words left her, she was nearly inaudible, shame striking her mute. Loki hissed.

Such innocence…

His silence condemned her. Eir took a shuddering breath.

"Something happens to my body when you touch me," she confessed and Loki groaned, sending another wave of heat through her. "Is there something wrong with me," she asked breathily.

"No, love, you are perfectly fine," Loki gritted out, nostrils flaring and eyes shut tight. "It is only a reaction of your body, completely natural."

"Then why won't you touch me again? Was I not good enough?"

"Oh, Eir, no. You were wonderful; I loved it," he moaned helplessly, feeling that the battle was all but lost. She was so ready, needing and wanting him, and the vestiges of the alcohol was fuzzing his thinking ever so slightly. It was hard to remember the promise he'd made, much less keep it.

"Then what's wrong," she demanded, "Is it bad, what we did?"

You have no idea, love.

Reluctantly, he pulled her closer to the side of the tub, where he could see her easily. Loki took a deep breath, lingering over every piece of his lover. Her legs were slightly parted, her teeth embedded in her lower lip, her hair messy, and the whole of her fairly gleaming.

And so, the fight is lost.

xxx

Now. About the surprise ;) If you'll check my profile, you'll find a one-shot titled "Glimpse Beyond This Illusion" – I guess the last scene might have suffered a bit because of the T rating ;) If anyone is interested in what happened later – and earlier, feel free to check it. Huge, huge, huge thanks to my dear Liz for doing amazing job with this chapter and the one-shot. Hope you liked it ;)

Alarice