Blaine and Kurt continue in their loving haze, because why wouldn't they, when their love is as strong as it is? Kurt is more convinced than ever that proposing to Blaine is the right thing to do, and he surreptitiously measures his finger while he's asleep using a piece of string, and vows to choose the best ring that he can afford.
Of course, because they're Kurt and Blaine, they still bicker and argue almost daily, but it's rarely in anger, and if it is, then one knows how to diffuse the other quickly. More often than not though, it is quiet, calm and steady Blaine, who is needed to calm fiery, feisty and hot headed Kurt, but neither would have the other any different than how they are.
Before either of them know it, it's the day before Kurt's departure to London, and Blaine arrives home from class in the afternoon, takes one look at the suitcase standing in the hallway, and marches right on through to the bedroom, where he falls face first on the bed, still in his shoes.
"Oh, hey now," Kurt calls, following him into the room and pulling his shoes off. "Don't be like that."
"Ugh."
"Blaine."
"Ugh."
"C'mon," he coaxes, placing his shoes neatly in the corner of the room, before he sits on the bed, rubbing a soothing hand over his back. "It's our last night together for three weeks."
"Ugh."
"Blaine," Kurt says again, and this time there is a warning tone to his voice. "Don't do this."
"Don't do what?" he asks, turning his head to the side to look at Kurt, who frowns. "I'm allowed to be sad."
"Sure, but don't be a baby about it. You know I'm going, so let's just make the most of..."
"Don't be a baby?" Blaine cries, sitting up. "You're going to London for three weeks and three days, Kurt. I'm entitled to miss you and to be upset that you're going."
"I know, I know," he soothes, as he thinks to himself that for tonight at least, he'll have to pander to Blaine's petulance and hold his tongue. "Come here. Let me kiss you. You walked right on in here without even saying hello."
"Practicing for when you're not here," Blaine grumbles, but he shuffles forward on the bed and takes the slow kiss Kurt offers.
"Better?" Kurt asks, but Blaine just shrugs and wrinkles his nose.
"Gonna miss you."
"I know," Kurt sighs, pressing himself into Blaine's side, resting his head in the crook of his neck. "And I'm gonna miss you too."
"Not like I'm gonna miss you."
"What? Don't be silly. Of course I will!"
"No you won't," Blaine pouts. "You'll be too busy having fun and doing...fashionable things. Studying models, probably. Drinking champagne and what is it? Networking. Yeah, that's it."
"Blaine, shut up," Kurt snaps. "First of all, we've had this discussion before. We're gay men with a pulse. We're allowed to look, we choose not to touch and that's a hell of a big deal. Second of all, this is a work trip, Blaine, not some fanciful vacation abroad. It's fashion week. Do you need a reminder of how stressful that is? And third, and most damn importantly, I will miss you! Every hour of every day, and I will be waiting to get home to you. Don't belittle my feelings just because you're pissed. Be pissed by all means, but understand that I'm just as sad about me going as you are. Yeah, it's great experience and it'll be amazing, but I'll still be wishing you were there with me. Don't make me feel like I can't call you and say I'm having a good time."
"I didn't!" Blaine cries, as Kurt climbs off the bed. "I didn't, I wasn't, I... I was merely pointing out that you won't miss me as much as I'll miss you, because you'll be in London doing exciting stuff, and I'll just be...well, I'll just be here, won't I? Alone. Going to my classes, studying...the usual."
"Why does it have to be a competition?" Kurt cries despairingly. He's aware his voice is raised, but he's annoyed, and he pushes out into the living room where Blaine follows him.
"It's not a competition, I'm just saying that I'm the one left to do the same old stuff, that's all, so you can't say you're going to miss me like I'll miss you, because that's not true!"
"That's just...ugh!" Throwing his hands up, Kurt shakes his head, grabbing his keys from the coffee table and his coat from the hall closet.
"Don't walk out!" Blaine cries, as Kurt pulls on shoes. "Don't sit there saying it's our last night together and making a big deal about it, and then walk out! That's not fair."
"No, Blaine, you're not being fair here, not me. Just...I just need some time to cool off, okay? You're being an ass, but I don't want us to end up fighting and me leaving for London on a bad note. Just..." Shaking his head again, Kurt goes, closing the door behind him and leaving Blaine to await his return.
Out on the street, Kurt sighs, cursing the heavy rain that falls. He really doesn't want to go out in this, but he needs to clear his head, if only for five minutes.
"Hey Kurt."
He turns to find Brian in the doorway behind him, grimacing at the rain, before he opens a large black umbrella and steps out.
"Oh, hi Brian. Yeah, umbrella. Wish I'd thought of that."
"Well I'm sure you can run upstairs and get one," Brian chuckles.
"Yeah, no. I just...needed to get out for a moment."
"Oh?"
"Blaine's being..." he stops himself short, amazed that he of all people is holding back from venting his anger, but somehow, calling Blaine a jerk to someone else just seems like a really low thing to do. "God, I am so completely in love with him," he whispers in awe, and Brian smiles.
"I've noticed. So what happened? Did you two have a fight?"
"I guess," Kurt shrugs. "A little bit. I don't know."
"You two don't strike me as a couple that argue much," Brian says, and Kurt snorts.
"We argue all the time, or bicker fondly, maybe. We rarely have full on fights though. We spent the first eighteen months of knowing each other fighting the entire time, so we try and avoid that now. But I'm not an easy person to live with, and he's too easy to live with, you know? Like he's so laid back, he might as well be dead."
"Ha!" Brian takes another look at the weather, then turns back to Kurt. "I'm walking to Loic, to read to him. You wanna walk a little way with me?"
"Sure."
Kurt feels more content as they walk along together under the umbrella. He likes Brian. He likes the friendship that is developing, and he likes that Brian never seems to judge, because he's been there, lived it, and he understands.
"You two sound like Loic and I," Brian remarks, as they walk along. "Gosh, he was always so hot headed. You know what used to get to me though? People would say they didn't know how I could live with someone as fiery as him, but I also know that I wasn't easy either. But, y'know, we wanted to be together, and so it worked."
"Yeah, it works," Kurt confirms. "I love living with him. And mostly it's silly things, you know? Like I'll be getting really frustrated about work, and he'll be lying on the couch watching the damn Disney Channel, and he'll tell me to chill out...and that's all it takes," Kurt laughs. "But then, if he didn't watch the Disney Channel, he wouldn't be my Blaine, and I'd be upset."
"Yeah, I get that," Brian says sadly.
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry."
"No, no, don't be," Brian says with a shake of his head. "Just embrace all that he is. What does he study, anyway? Not that I know him well, but I can imagine Blaine taking something like...I don't know, history, or American Literature."
"Ha! No. Well, here's the thing. Blaine is smart, like stupidly, ridiculously smart," Kurt says proudly. "He's studying physics and mechanical engineering, and he's hoping to work for NASA as a spacecraft engineer."
"And he watches the Disney Channel?"
"And he watches the Disney Channel," Kurt confirms, then laughs. "He needs an outlet, I guess."
"That's quite incredible though, that he wants to work for NASA."
"Yep." Kurt seems to swell with pride as he talks, and it makes Brian smile inside to see and hear him talk about Blaine that way.
"And you? When do you go to London to take the Brits by storm?"
"Tomorrow, actually," Kurt admits. "Though I don't think I'll be taking them by storm, more like hoping and praying I don't make a total ass of myself."
"You know, that confidence and pride you have when you talk about Blaine and his school work? You should use that when talking about yourself, young man."
"Hmm, well, I still don't think I'm all that great, I guess," Kurt mumbles, and Brian switches the umbrella to his other hand and rests an arm around his shoulders.
"Somehow, I don't think Blaine would be with you if you weren't quite spectacular. He looks at you as though you hung the moon and the stars just for him. You're smart, funny, and clearly very good at your job, or they wouldn't be asking you to go, would they?"
"I don't know if I want to go," Kurt admits. "Blaine seems to think I'm gonna be living it up and that...that causes issues between us, because of how I was before...back when we first met. I was...not nice."
"Blaine is probably hurting because he knows how much he's going to miss you," Brian tells him honestly. "And so he's saying things he doesn't really mean. Be honest, you know he knows how hard you work, and you were both joking with me the other week about how you turn into a bear during fashion week. He knows you'll be working, attending shows and writing for nearly the whole time you're there."
"He said I won't miss him as much as he'll miss me."
"Oh he'll miss you tremendously," Brian agrees. "But that doesn't mean you won't miss him also."
"The thing is, I worry he's right, because I am excited, you know? What if I do have a good time, in spite of all the hard work? What if I love every second?"
"I should hope you will, otherwise you've got the wrong job," Brian chuckles. "Listen, Kurt, Blaine wants you to have a good time. He would hate it if you went there and spent every second feeling miserable. Enjoying getting to experience London Fashion Week doesn't make your love for Blaine any less valid. What if he gets sent away for work in the future? You'd want to see him enjoying himself, right?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Even though you couldn't join him. Blaine's just sad, that's all, because he'll be lonely without you, which is perfectly natural, but he will also survive, and you'll come back in next to no time."
"We're dumb to be fighting over this, huh?"
"Dumb? No. Loic and I once spent a week in total silence because he gave one of my sweaters to goodwill without asking me. I didn't even wear it, it had been hanging in the closet for months."
Kurt laughs, and then notices they've stopped walking, and are now standing outside Cedar Oak retirement home. "This is where Loic lives?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, I've just talked at you for the entire walk here."
"Kurt, it was nice to have some company, really. Now you go to your man, and I'll go to mine. Here," he says, offering his umbrella.
"Oh, no, I couldn't. You'll get wet walking home, and..."
"I'll get a cab," Brian says with a smile. "Just take it, and go home to be with Blaine for the evening. Don't waste tonight."
"I won't," Kurt promises. "And Brian? While I'm away, can you..."
"I'll look out for him," Brian smiles. "Of course I will."
Blaine looks up the second he hears Kurt's key in the lock. He offers a wavering, hesitant smile when Kurt closes the door quietly and walks toward him, one which Kurt returns with more certainty.
"Sad puppy," Kurt notes, taking in Blaine's red rimmed, mournful eyes as he looks up at him. He gives a small nod, and continues to keep his eyes trained on Kurt as he kneels in front of the couch between Blaine's legs.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "You're right, it's not a competition, and I do know you'll miss me, of course I know that. I just..."
"I know," Kurt says simply, and he holds his arms open for Blaine to fall into his embrace. "It's okay. We were both being dumb, but let's just forget about it now."
"But I was mean."
"Eh, whatever. I don't want to go to London feeling pissed at you, and I can't bear the thought of you sitting on the couch like this for three weeks. I'll call though," he reassures, rubbing a hand over his back. "And I'll bring you back a ton of gifts. Not just the freebies from the runway shows either."
This makes Blaine laugh, and he pulls back, giving a little sniff and a sad smile. "Will you skype with me?"
"Every day."
"Oh, you don't have to do it every day," Blaine tells him quickly. "I don't want you to feel obligated, or..."
"Blaine. Nothing I do is out of obligation to anyone. That's just not how I work, and you should know that by now. I'll skype you every day because I love you, and I want to see your beautiful face. I'm not doing it because I feel like I should. I mean yes, there's the obligation I feel not to hurt you, but that's more because I don't want to hurt you, than feeling like I shouldn't. Do you know what I mean? All this," he says, waving his hand around, "is my choice. I paid for you to fly to New York just over two years ago, not to please dad, or because I felt like I should give in to you, but because I knew I'd never find any peace until I'd told you the way I felt. I love you Blaine, that's why I'm here, that's why I stay, and that's why, whether you like it or not, I'll skype you every day."
Blaine doesn't protest, just beams, and tugs Kurt up off his knees and into his lap, where he can look up and seek out his lips, his teeth, his tongue. "Tell me what you want to do then," Blaine says, when their kiss breaks with a gasp. "Tonight is all yours. We can go to the movies, out to dinner? We're still in time to get tickets for a show if you want to?"
"Actually," Kurt says, ducking his head down onto Blaine's shoulder. "I'd kinda just like a normal night in. We can cook together, play cards...have an early night, maybe?"
"Yeah, we can do that," Blaine agrees. "I'm pretty tired, so..."
"I hate you," Kurt says, and his laugh turns into a soft moan of pleasure when one of Blaine's hands finds its way under his t-shirt to the smooth skin of his back, while his lips trail down his neck. "I totally hate you, but if you wouldn't mind stripping me naked and taking me right here and now, I'd really appreciate it."
The next morning arrives all too quickly, and Blaine is grateful that a car is coming to take Kurt to the airport, meaning he doesn't have to say his goodbye in public. They eat breakfast in almost complete silence, with occasional sad glances across the table at one another, until Kurt pushes his pancakes to the side and climbs into Blaine's lap instead.
"Listen. This sucks," he says, letting his fingers curl into his hair. "But way back when, when you lived with dad and I was here, we did the long distance thing, didn't we? We can do this."
"Oh I know," Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and hugging him close. "I know we can do it, I just know that, like you said, it sucks. Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"I'm sad, but I'm also happy that you're going."
"Well thanks."
"No, hear me out. I'm happy because you deserve this, and I want you to own it. I...I love you, I've loved you for years, but...oh Kurt, I just keep falling more and more in love with you all the time. New Years was just...I don't know, one of those moments when it suddenly became clear exactly how much you mean to me, you know?"
"Yes," he breathes softly. "I know."
"And I look at you now, about to fly to London to report on fashion week, and I think yeah, I'll miss you, but this is just amazing for you. And then I think to myself, you know what? This will be us one day in the future, too. You'll be this amazing fashion journalist, the one whose column everyone wants to read...and you'll come home to me. Not anyone else, just me, and that...that thrills me immensely."
Kurt studies Blaine as he speaks, his eyes dancing with happiness and shining with love. His arms are comforting and secure around Kurt's waist, and he realizes that he's never felt more at home than he does in this mans arms. "Blaine?"
Blaine looks up, waiting expectantly. "Yeah?"
"Will you..."
He stops.
Not here, not now.
When he asks, he wants it to be when they can celebrate properly, when they can make squealing phone calls of delight to friends and family, and when they can spend all day kissing if they so choose. "Will you pass me the rest of my pancakes, please?"
"Pig."
"Yep," Kurt grins, as Blaine offers him a fork. "You know it."
Life without Kurt is strange. Blaine spends the entirety of the first day in bed, watching crappy tv, and stuffing his face with all of the six cupcakes Kurt had made him as a farewell gift. It's good to get a skype call that evening from a completely over exuberant Kurt, because it lets him know that he's arrived safely, and it's rather wonderful to see his face shining with excitement. He shows Blaine around his hotel room, and babbles about how it's nearly one in the morning in England, but he's not tired at all.
Yes, it's completely lovely, until Kurt has to go, and then Blaine finds his way to the bottom of a tub of ice cream, and he might, just might, have not even bothered changing his pajama top when he spills some.
By nine that evening, Burt, who has been waiting all day to check on Blaine's welfare, gives in and calls. He knows Blaine is not okay, of course, even though he protests that he is, but he also knows that his call does make him feel at least a little bit brighter.
"So, you wanna fly home next weekend?" Burt asks, and he can practically hear Blaine's eyes roll on the other end of the line.
"I can look after myself you know."
"I know that."
"Did Kurt put you up to this?"
"Like hell," Burt laughs, and he's telling the truth. He'd known all along that Blaine would feel a little ungrounded when Kurt went to London, and he also knows that what Blaine really wants to do is fly home, and sleep in what he still calls 'his room'. He also knows that Blaine, at twenty, and in a serious, committed relationship, won't admit to needing his dad for fear of losing face.
"I was thinking we need some father son bonding time," Burt rambles, aware of Blaine listening very intently. "I know we both love Kurt beyond all measure, but it hasn't been just you and I for a long time, has it?"
"It hasn't been just you and him, either," Blaine points out.
"Yeah well, maybe one weekend you could take off and see Sam, and I'll visit him then."
"You trying to get rid of me?"
"Yep."
They both laugh, and Blaine is suddenly conscious that he's curled on his side, clutching the phone tight to his ear. He always misses Burt, but he's feeling it more than ever right now.
"Come home," Burt says quietly, and Blaine nods, blinking back tears.
"Yeah."
It's better, being at home with Burt. That's not to say Blaine doesn't still miss Kurt immensely, but just knowing he has three whole days to tinker with cars and spend time with his old man makes Blaine come skipping through arrivals to throw himself into his dad's arms, and let himself get picked up and hugged tightly.
"Ah, that's better," Burt mumbles, still squeezing the life out of Blaine. "So much better."
It suddenly occurs to Blaine how much Burt must miss them both, how his life must be like Blaine's is now, only all the time. He links his arm through his as they walk to the car, and Blaine wonders if maybe that's what grown up life is all about; missing people.
His own dad, Burt...now Kurt...maybe it's just a never ending cycle of wishing you were with someone, and then trying to treasure the moments that you do get together.
"I wish me and Kurt lived here all the time," he declares, as Burt holds Bessie's door open for him and puts the keys in his hand.
"No you don't."
"I do. Then we could see you every day."
"Yeah, and then you could both work dead end jobs, and you could sacrifice your college education and brilliant future, just to look at my ugly mug day after day."
"I miss you though."
"And I miss you too. Both of you. But you know what? I get to watch you two chasing your dreams, making them happen, and that's worth more than anything at all."
"Well that's true," Blaine realizes, as he swings his beloved car out onto the highway. "Like I miss Kurt, but I love hearing about all he's doing, and how he's learning so much, and meeting important fashion people."
"Exactly," Burt says with a nod. "Now let's get home and see if he's ready to Skype with us."
"Are you sure you're okay?" Blaine asks, and Kurt sighs in frustration.
"Yes!"
"You don't look it," Blaine points out. "You look like you're about to go off on me."
"I will if you don't stop being so damn confrontational!"
"I'm not! I'm just... well, I don't know. All week we've skyped just fine, and now today it's weird. Why is it weird?"
"Oh I don't know, Blaine, maybe because we're five hours ahead of you, and it's nearly two in the morning here? I've been working for thirteen hours straight, and then I get in and just want to go to bed, but I have to skype with you!"
"Hey!" Blaine is hurt, and Kurt regrets the words the moment they're out of his mouth.
"No, wait, I didn't..."
"No one's making you!"
"I know, I know. It's just...there you are, tucked up in your pajamas, and I'll bet dad made you hot chocolate, and I wanna be there too, you know? I wanna climb into bed with you at nine, and just lie in your arms and..." he wipes angrily at his stray tears, as Blaine moves closer to the screen. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I have to skype you. I want to, I do. It's like...the best part of my day. I just... I miss you, and then seeing you there with dad, and I'm not, and..."
"I know," Blaine says sadly. "I love you Kurt, and I know this is tough. I also know how hard you're working, but...well, hey, we've done a week already, huh?"
"I guess."
"Turn that frown upside down," he sings brightly, and Kurt looks up, pointing a warning finger at the screen.
"Don't."
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
"I hate you," Kurt grouches, but his eyes are shining again, and Blaine grins.
"I know you do, now gimme a kiss."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"C'mon," he coaxes, leaning in and pouting at the screen. "Kiss your puppy."
And five thousand miles away, alone, tired, and tearful, Kurt finds himself laughing, and leaning close to kiss his computer screen.