Horse Stance

Ranma blinked and looked around as his surroundings shifted, not pausing in eating his ramen. It'd take more than being teleported to interrupt his meal.

"Yatta, I did it!" a blond kid cheered, a wide smile on his face, blue eyes shining.

Ranma drained the remaining broth in his bowl before slipping the bowl and chopsticks up his sleeve and examining his surroundings, taking note of the numerous animal masked nin that were taking up positions around the clearing and the three kids in front of him. "What's up?"

"I summoned you," the blond kid said proudly.

A silver haired nin with a metal plate on a headband covering one eye appeared in a swirl of leaves, taking a protective stance between Ranma and the children. "Naruto, what have you done? I felt the chakra spike half way across the village."

"Summoning Jutsu!" the blond kid said proudly, wiping sweat from his forehead, obviously tired.

"Naruto," the silver haired nin said carefully, "unless you have a contract there are no guarantees that what you have summoned is friendly."

"I made one," he replied, showing a tattoo on his forearm of the kanji for wild horse surrounded by a ring of tiny symbols.

Ranma raised an eyebrow, this was new, but still he remained silent not wanting to give away anything until he knew what was going on.

"I mean a contract signed by both sides, an agreement," he explained. "What you've done here is summoned an uncontrolled being of unknown power. How much chakra did you use?"

"Umm, a lot, Kakashi-sensei," he admitted.

Kakashi groaned. "How much is a lot?"

"Enough that it was visible," the dark haired boy said.

"Crap!" Kakashi said.

"What's wrong?" the pink haired girl asked nervously.

"The more chakra used the more powerful the summons," Kakashi replied not taking his eyes off Ranma. "And boss summons don't require the amount of chakra you've described."

"Don't hurt anyone," Naruto ordered.

"If they don't try and hurt me, I won't hurt them," Ranma replied. "Why did you summon me?"

"Cause I need a summons to be a kick ass ninja!" Naruto exclaimed, having recovered his energy.

"I need a bit more than that. Kakashi?" Ranma said, the question plain to see.

"We are ninja and some of the greatest nin have summoning contracts. Summoning contracts are contracts written between two parties where one uses fuinjutsu to summon another in times of need in exchange for chakra," Kakashi explained.

"And how do I return home?" Ranma asked.

"You'll need to learn to dismiss yourself," Kakashi said. "It's not hard."

"I could use a break from the constant battles," Ranma said thoughtfully. "What the hell, it's a deal. You need help, feel free to summon me."

"Only you would summon something that didn't want to fight," the dark haired boy snorted. "He's as useless as you are."

"Does hurting people include spanking?" Ranma asked.

"What are your capabilities?" Kakashi quickly interrupted.

"I'm a martial artist," Ranma replied as if that was all they needed to know.

"Like a painter?" the pink haired girl asked.

"You don't know what a martial artist is?" the pig tailed boy asked in shock.

"An artist of war?" Kakashi guessed.

"Yes," Ranma agreed. "Keep the peace, protect the weak, things like that."

"And you do that with art?" Kakashi asked confused.

"The Art," Ranma said. "Hand to hand combat. Are you saying you've never met a martial artist and know nothing about fighting?"

"We know how to fight!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Show me," Ranma ordered.

Naruto instantly drew a kunai and attacked.

Ranma tapped Naruto's arm and leaned to the side causing Naruto to go sprawling. "I'm not impressed so far."

Naruto growled in frustration and climbed to his feet. This time he didn't rush in, but Ranma still directed him to the ground with nothing more than a tap on the arm.

"Did the person who trained you want you dead?" Ranma asked sarcastically.

Naruto paused. "Huh, I forgot about that."

Ranma growled. "Bring me your teacher."

"He's in jail," Kakashi said. "I'm his teacher now."

"He hasn't taught us crap," Naruto complained.

"I want your teamwork up to par before I start teaching you individual skills," Kakashi said.

"And you don't expect him to get into any fights before that happens?" Ranma asked.

"I'm keeping them in the village, doing low level missions until I feel they're ready," the silver haired Jounin explained.

"OK, new plan," Ranma said. "All three of you line up and get in horse stance."

"Why should I listen to you?" the dark haired boy demanded.

"Same reason you listen to any teacher," the pig tailed martial artist replied. "Fear of consequences."

"What consequences?"

"I can kick your ass, paint you blue and make you walk through the village naked," Ranma replied.

"You're going to teach us Taijutsu?" Sakura asked, trying to draw attention away from Sasuke.

"I'm not familiar with ninja specific language, use descriptive terms," Ranma said.

"Taijutsu is hand to hand combat, Genjutsu is illusions, and Ninjutsu is ninja techniques that require chakra and handseals," Naruto explained.

"Taijutsu and techniques that don't use chakra or seals are what I specialize in," Ranma replied. "From what I can see all three of you need extensive training in Taijutsu and some serious physical conditioning."

"Sauske's in great shape!" Sakura protested.

Ranma looked at the dark haired boy. "How many tons can you carry and for how long?"

"Lift a ton?!" the three kids chorused.

"Excellent, you already sound like a team," Ranma said cheerfully.

"They're only human," Kakashi warned Ranma wondering once more what Naruto had summoned.

"So am I," Ranma replied. "And by their age I could carry five tons for four days before passing out.

"Really?" Naruto asked wide eyed.

"Yep," Ranma said proudly. "I don't expect those kinda results out of you guys for at least a year or two, but by the end of the week I should have you able to run for a quarter of a day carrying twice your body weight."

"It's Friday," Sakura pointed out.

"It was Monday afternoon where you summoned me from," Ranma replied. "By the end of next week then."

"Great," Kakashi groaned. "You've summoned Maito Gai."

"Who?" Ranma asked.

"A jounin who specializes in Taijutsu and is always challenging me to contests," Kakashi replied. "His training regimen is insane."

"I majorly toned it down," Ranma complained. "You heard me say only twice their body weight, right?"

"You're serious," Sasuke said after a few seconds. "You can actually increase our strength and stamina that much?"

"All it takes is the right combination of training, nutrition and of course, pressure points."

"Pressure points?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Gotta make sure the chi-paths aren't kinked up," Ranma replied. "You can't expect to get one hundred percent out of someone who's only running on fumes."

"OK, now I feel obligated to bring Gai just to see what happens when you meet. Plus he'll probably understand you better."

"Is he a martial artist?" Ranma asked.

"He's as close as we come to having one," the silver haired nin promised. "Get Gai," he ordered a beetle masked nin.

"OK, everyone, in horse stance," Ranma ordered. "Why are you wearing a dress?" Ranma asked Sakura. "The only female martial – nin I know wear dresses for the sole purpose of using their feminine wiles to stun opponents."

"I always dress this way," Sakura said.

"Far be it for me to tell someone not to flash everyone," Ranma said, "If it works use it, but at your age it attracts some creepy characters, just so you know."

"Ahh!" Sakura turned red. "I'm wearing shorts underneath!"

"Good, then I won't feel like a perv by making you practice kicks. As a woman you have less upper body strength then a man, so kicks are a girl's best friend."

Typing by: The Last Primarch!