So I am standing behind a bullet proof glass, just saying. Sooooooo, yeah, WE'RE SO SORRY! PERDON! GOMENASAI! PARDON! DUI BU QI! We really are! We had finals and then summer came and I lost internet all of July and parts of June. Plus, to be honest, we tried writing while calling each other but we realized that it didn't work that way. Our normal flow of ideas just didn't… flow? Anyways we are so sorry. We will be continuing this story now, though updates won't be as fast as they used to since I have a s*#tty a$$ schedule and I return late while Windy-san has earlier classes so we see each other at night. But rest assured, we are not dead and we promise to keep the ideas and reasons coming. And we are keeping the bullet proof glass up just in case. As always, thank you for reading our story and thank you for not giving up on us just yet. Reviews are extremely welcomed, we always love to read them, and happy start of the semester for those of you who are starting it now ^^

Warning: Major OCC, you've been warned, though this is a parody and a comedy so that is to be expected.

33- Gandalf won't let me pass anywhere.

I never thought I'd ever feel so happy to see Gandalf. Even if I knew that he would eventually come back to life, it was a relief to see the old geezer. Heck, he even saved my tail when the members of the Fellowship tried to question me about not telling them that I knew Gandalf would revive, so yeah, I was very glad to see him. So, that night, after diner, I had to go find a nice bush to do my lady business (yeah, I had pretty much gotten used that whole using leaves to wipe my behind and finding good bushes or pits for, ahem, that business) So as I began to leave the campsite, suddenly Gandalf jumps from his spot and appeared before me, his arm extended and his staff raised and yelled:

"You shall not pass!" and slammed the end of his staff on the ground, loudly. I shrieked and jumped back, startling the others.

"What the hell, Gandalf?!" I screamed. "You nearly gave me a freaking heart attack!" I said, while placing my hand above my heart, feeling it as it hammered against my chest. Not actually waiting for his reply, I tried to go around him, only to find him once more blocking me, his arms extended and staff raised as he yelled once again:

"You shall not pass!" Just because I was happy to see him, I decided to hold my tongue this time and not insult him. So I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and as politely as I could said:

"Could you please move out of the way," it was very obvious in my tone that I was annoyed, but I was doing an effort here.

"You shall not pass!" I felt my eyebrow twitch and the vein in my temple pulse as anger grew inside.

"Really, Gandalf? Really? Just because you stopped a Balrog from passing doesn't give you permission to stop everyone from passing whenever you want." I tried once more to go around him only to find myself blocked once more. I growled and scurried to the side, but so did he. "Damn it Gandalf! I need to pee!" This little dance went on for a little while until I finally managed to get pass him.

This little whim of his continued for a long time after. He blocked me when I was trying to get into the stables at Rohan, he blocked several times when I tried to go to the lady's room, and when trying to go out of them, hell, he once blocked me when I had snuck into the men's bathing room and because of that I was caught by some of the men who were on their way to a bath, wearing only their birthday suits. Let's just say that they did not appreciate a girl using their personal bathroom, much less seeing them naked or them seeing me naked. Geez! Haven't these men ever seen a naked woman before?! Are they all virgins or something? And I wasn't even naked, I had a towel wrapped around me so their reactions were exaggerated, but I'll tell that tale on another time.

This continued for as long as the journey did, until we got to Rivendell. It had been two days since Frodo had awaken but he was still not allowed out of his room, so I wanted to pay him a little visit since he had stuck by me on several occasions in the past (remember when I lost it, Gandalf knocked me out and they were voting to leave me stranded, but Frodo vouched for me?) But once more, it happened. I opened the door, and as soon as I looked into the room, Gandalf jumped from his seat, blocked me and did the whole gig again. I felt as if hell was boiling within me. I looked, or more like glared daggers at him, and spoke with a clenched jaw.

"Gandalf," I said with a low and dangerous tone. "I swear, if you don't move out of the way right now, I will do something I will later regret, and I already regret a lot of things in my life and don't need any more added to my list! So, please, move." I looked at him, expecting him to get the message.

He stared at me for a moment, then raised his staff once more. "You shall not pass!"

That's when I snapped. Legolas just so happened to arrive to visit Frodo as well and was carrying a large flower pot with flowers. I don't really remember how it happened. I only remember feeling a bomb within me explode, seeing red, a trail of curses, a loud scream and the sound of something breaking. Suddenly I am standing before Gandalf who is bent over, covered with dirt and pieces of the flower pot while my hands hovered just above his head. It wasn't sinking in for a moment. My mouth was hanging agape. I turned my face to look at Legolas. The elf had a look that I'm sure no one else in Middle earth had seen him have. His mouth too was hanging agape, his eyes wide and disbelieving and his and his hands still in front of him as if he was still holding the flower pot. Ever so slowly, his face turned to me. His look said everything 'You are screwed' I'm sure he would have said if he used my language. He stared at me and mouthed 'What did you do?' and that was when it sunk into my mind the horrible gravity of the situation. So, I did the only sensible thing you do in a situation where you hurt Gandalf: RUN! I darted down the hall like a bullet.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap, fucking crap!" I repeated as I ran. Not a second later, I heard footsteps on quick pursuit. I turn my head over my shoulder to see what could have been a possessed Mumakil charging at me with flaring red eyes. "Out of the way!" I screamed as I saw someone coming around the corner with a stack of papers. I saw the horror in Erestor's eyes before crashing against him. I lost my footing a bit but the horror of the moment was enough incentive to get me back up and running again. Erestor, after giving a not manly at all shriek, managed to get his footing back without throwing anything, but that didn't last long since Gandalf, being much stronger and larger than me, crashed head on with him, sending the elf to the ground along with the hundreds of paper that had taken him hours to organize.

That afternoon I ran over half of the people in Rivendell, broke a few things, made a few new enemies and rekindled the anger in a few old ones, and made my face an even more infamous one in Rivendell.

Gimli's pov

"Hey lad," Gimli said as he walked over to Legolas. "I was walking down the hall and saw Gandalf chasing Alex with a demonic aura. Do you know what happened this time?" Legolas, who was still looking down the hall where the girl and the wizard had ran off, and smiled.

"She took the flower pot I was bringing to Frodo and smashed it on his head.

"With a look of sorrow, Gimli took off his helmet, placed it over his chest and bowed his head. "Ah, what a pity, I really liked that lass. She shall be missed."

Legolas laughed and entered the room to pay Frodo a visit. Hope this makes up for the three month long absence. Feel free to comment, say what made you laugh, give ideas, criticize if it's constructive or something to let us know how we did ^^