Windy and I would like to thank those of you who continued faithfully reading this fic. We were very happy to see you back. Also we noticed some of you who are nwe, so welcome and we hope you enjoy reading this.

This chapter is a tad long. We hope you like it

34- Pretending that Aragorn is not dead and dealing with the consequences

So I was walking towards Helms Deep with the group from Rohan, and I was nearly shaking, thinking of the warg attack that was supposed to happen sometime now. Legolas kept scouting ahead and I kept waiting for that shrieking sound that would alert me that the time had come. Finally I did hear it and almost fell off my horse. Oh yeah, I was given a horse at Rohan. Ain't that nice of the King? At least he knows how to treat a lady, not that I am much of one anyways. So, as I was saying, Legolas gave the dreaded call and Gimli didn't even gave me the chance to sneak away with the group that was being led by Eowyn to the Keep.

"Come on, lassie! There are heads that need to be chopped off!" he said excitedly as he made his way to his horse.

I groaned in frustration, but followed him. I cannot say I really fought this fight. I kept myself as far away from those beasts as I could and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I did managed to take two wargs and three orcs down, but that was only because they went after me and I had no choice. I still have no memory of how I did it. I think I kind of went into major panic mode and my mind blacked out and I just somehow cut them down, crazy style. That might be why some Rohirim men were reluctant to approach me after that and kept giving me odd glances.

So going back to the reason, the fight was over, I in a corner of the floor, getting over my heart attack, when I heard Legolas call Aragorn, followed by Gimli's call. That's when my heart froze. So much for getting over my heart attack, now my heart was not beating at all! I could not just tell them he was not dead since Lord Elrond and Gandalf had strictly forbidden me to do so unless an event that I was not familiar with should happen. I peeked over to where Legolas was, not far from me, when he grabbed the dying orc by the collar, saying that he had lied. He then picked up Aragorn's necklace from his hand, and with a pained expression, walked over to the cliff. Gimli did the same and for a moment they stared down the cliff. That was when something seemed to snap inside Legolas. He gave a sharp turn and called my name loudly.

"Alexandra! Alexandra where are you!"

I was shocked to see the panic in his eyes. Was he scared for my life?

"I'm here!" I said, getting up with shaky legs.

His eyes widened and he ran towards me, examining me quickly with his eyes. It was a quick examination before he continued to speak.

"Aragorn, he fell," he said, urgently, searching my face for a confirmation as to whether this was supposed to happen or not.

Oh I had to restrain myself and not slap him and hold the urge to groan. And to think I thought he was concerned for my life! Doesn't anyone worry for my sake?! He only wanted me to tell him if I knew this would happen or if it was an event that was out of the ordinary. I think that my frustration from not knowing how to react, plus the pain that caused me to look into sorrowful eyes, plus and overdramatic sigh and a bow of my head, was enough to make me look sad enough for him to understand that I knew this would happen. I even managed to force a few tears out as part of the act. Nice huh? After that I didn't look at him and just walked away, my shoulders shaking because I was holding the urge to laugh since I never thought I would be this good of an actress as to fool an elf, yet it served to look as if I was sobbing. I rode with the rest of the company, avoiding Legolas and Gimli as much as possible, making it seem I didn't want to talk about it anymore and just wanted to be alone in my pain when in fact every time I looked at them, I was torn between laughing, and running towards Legolas to tell him the truth just to get that look of pain off his face as soon as possible.

When we got to the Keep, I started to help with the unpacking and stuff. How noble of me, I know, but I just wanted to stay away from those two until Aragorn got back. I had completely forgotten about Eowyn. I was about to move a box of potatoes when I heard the woman call my name. I had hardly turned around when she crashed against me, arms wrapping around me so tightly around my neck that for a moment I panicked when I saw black dots.

"Eowyn," I said in a strained voice.

"I know, this must all be so hard on you," she said with a sobbing voice and held me tighter.

"Eowyn," I said, my hands desperately going for hers, but she seemed to have thought I wanted to hold her so she held me in a vice grip, keeping from being able to even move. Man is that lady strong! Growing up in a castle full of men does that to you I guess. So anyways, I began to go limp in her arms for lack of oxygen.

"Oh you poor thing. You are going faint. Here, sit down," she said, mistaking my limpness for weakness in my 'sorrow'.

I gasped loudly, taking a deep breath and startling Eowyn who jumped back.

"You are almost blue!" she said, looking me over.

I continued to gasp for breath, panting and choking.

"What happened?" she asked, oblivious to my actions.

I had to keep myself from jumping at her neck. The woman almost killed me! But the thought that no one ever bothered to feel concern about me and she was only trying to console me made me keep all bad emotions hidden. I smiled weakly before I heard that voice I had been desperately wanting to hear for the past few hours. Eowyn and I turned our heads to where Aragorn and Legolas were standing, looking at each other. After a while, Aragorn came over and after a quick hello to Eowyn, he gave me a hug. It was odd then, when I heard him whispering into my ear.

"You tested the Shieldmaiden's strength?"

"You saw?" I asked, stunned that he had seen us.

He laughed quietly. "I did."

"And why didn't you stop her. She almost killed me!"

"You didn't tell me I would fall," he replied with a mischievous tone.

"Well no shit!" I said, gripping his clothes tighter to keep from punching him. "I have strict orders to not reveal anything from the wizard that has the power to turn me into a rat! Besides, it was necessary so you would see the host of uruks!"

"True," he said with a soft laugh before letting me go and walking off.

I was then left to explain to a jealous Eowyn that Aragorn and I had no love interest other than brotherly love, and that he had hugged me for long because he .

Finally I was free of the woman and decided to would go take a nap somewhere, when I find myself blocked by an angry looking dwarf.

"You!" he said, pointing a menacing finger at me.

"Me?" I ask.

"Come here you sneaky little liar!" he said as he held up his axe and charged at me.

I screamed and darted away, but man! The dwarf is fast! The only way I could put the slightest distance between us was by choosing paths that had objects blocking the way. Since he could not jump over them as well as I could, I got a slight advantage.

As I ran, I spotted Legolas sitting on a box, fiddling with an arrow.

"Legolas!" I called desperately.

He raised his head and saw me and instead of getting up and coming to my aid, he gave me a far too pleased smile; looked over me to see the crazed, demon dwarf chasing me, and continued to play with his arrow.

"Legolas! Help me you freaking elf!" I screamed as I heard Gimli gaining on me.

"This is what you get for lying to us, Alexandra," he said in a loud voice.

At that moment I was running past him but I had no time to stop and punch him because Gimli was hot on my tail.

"Legolas Thranduilion I will kill you, you fucking asshole, son of a bitch!" I screamed for all the Keep to hear, though I knew they could not understand half of what I said.

And so I spent a good fifteen minutes running from the dwarf until Aragorn found us and stopped him.

To Ghost: Hi, Windy and I are happy to see that you are still reading this fic. We just wanted to try to clarify a few things concerning your review so that you may understand what we didn't clarify. First, the humor has always been super immature, in fact, Alex is the embodiment of immature in this fic. The only chapter she was not this was chapter 33 because it was the only serious chapter in the entire fic, no other has been or will be serious at all since this is a parody and is meant for humor. As for where they are, Alex is telling about how happy she is to have been reunited with Gandalf, and that happens in Fangorn, so "that night" as she mentions it, is happening in the plains of Rohan. And, about Frodo awakening at Rohan, it happens twice in the movies, and this time would be when he awakens in Rivendell for the second time after the ring is destroyed.

About the POV thing, since this has always been a narration from Alex's part and we've never given any of the other character's point of view, we thought it necessary since it would be out of the normal context, though in the future when other similar situations arise, we will use a different tactic to make it better. I hope that clears out a few things. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)