Negotiations 1
"Harry Potter," Dumbledore read the fourth piece of parchment that had come out of the Goblet with some surprise.
"Perfect," Snape said sourly. "What else could go wrong?"
The Goblet began to bubble, fire overflowing its confines and forcing Dumbledore to give way as he cast every fire control charm he knew.
Minerva glared at Snape who winced.
Professor Flitwick: the charms master added his efforts to no avail as the flame took on an emerald hue rising to a height of ten feet before vanishing, leaving a one eyed man and a young woman standing in front of the Goblet.
"Mom, Dad?" Hermione exclaimed in shock.
"Still negotiating on that dear," the woman said.
"She has my mother's hair, poor girl," the man said.
"Mr. and Mrs. Granger?" Dumbledore asked, wondering what had just happened.
The young woman, who couldn't have been more than 18 was dressed in khaki, pith helmet and carrying a rifle, frowned. "I always thought you'd take my name."
The young man, who was dressed similarly, but in much more worn clothes and with a few more weapons strapped to him, shrugged. "That would get around the end of line curse, but that's beside the point. What did you do?"
"Got advice from Anya on how to woo the wild Xander," she said with a grin.
"And that involved using the 'w' word?" Xander asked before sighing. "And didn't you promise not to raise the dead anymore?"
"I didn't raise the dead, I tracked her down to Valhalla and went to talk to her."
"Damn… is she happy?" he asked softly
"She's back together with Olaf, who is still a troll by the way, and has started running a book on the eternal battles among other things."
Xander smiled.
"Anyway she pointed out that I was legal now and I should stop taking no for an answer, hence the dart gun, just in case Halie's replacement didn't come through on her promise."
"Aren't your parents muggles?" Ron asked.
"Yes, dentists," Hermione said confused.
"Dentists?" Xander asked Dawn.
"Sounds like something Buffy or Willow would plan," she said.
"Mind wipe and a quote normal life unquote?" she suggested.
"Yep, now come and meet our daughter."
The bushy haired girl examined the two. "You're scarcely older than me," she said as she looked at her mother.
"And American," Xander said amused. "But more than likely not from an America you can find on a local map."
"I… Alternate realities?" she asked.
"She's got your brains," Xander said, a bit of pride leaking into his voice.
"You took how many honors classes with Willow?" Dawn asked bluntly.
"A lot, but I got really low grades," he said smugly.
"You never studied unless forced and spent your nights hunting demons and vampires, the fact that you passed all of them shows how smart you are, love."
"Mr. Potter, I'm sorry but I have to ask," Dumbledore said, trying to ignore the two for the moment and get things back on track, "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?"
"Why are you asking him?" Dawn asked as she looked over at the wizard carefully. "Anyone with half a brain can tell he had nothing to do with whatever you're asking about and your whole demeanor screams that you're only acting like you have doubts."
"Dawn, leave the politician's plan alone," Xander said.
"Politician?"
"Yeah, he's pulling a Wilkins, do great evil to do even greater good," the one eyed man explained.
"Wilkins sacrificed people for over a century!" Dawn exclaimed. "How is there good in the end of that?"
"He was a germaphobe whose daughter, who was the spitting image of Faith by the way, died of smallpox. How many people die each year thanks to bacterial infections and viruses?"
"He went through all that to become powerful enough to eradicate sickness?" the young woman asked in shock before shaking it off. "It doesn't matter, good and evil are not a numbers game. Killing ten to save a thousand is just as evil as killing a thousand to save ten. The path down the Hellmouth is paved with good intentions and evil is evil period!"
Xander had to resist kissing Dawn as she passionately declared the fallacy of doing wrong for the right reasons.
"You want people to think I'm guilty?" the dark haired boy asked the old wizard.
"I just wanted you to state your innocence clearly," Dumbledore tried to dodge the issue.
"Not with the questioning tone you took," Xander snorted. "Politicians are great at twisting the truth. He wanted you to say you were innocent and be disbelieved."
"Is this true?!" the boy demanded as he looked directly into the older wizard's eyes.
"He's the leader of the light, he wouldn't do something like that!" Hermione protested.
"Honey, notice how he didn't immediately deny it and has been standing there thinking?" Dawn asked. "He's guilty as sin and wondering how he's going to wiggle out of things without losing his patsy."
"B-But Dumbledore has a phoenix familiar!" the bushy haired bookworm protested.
"That just means he has to believe he's doing good," Xander said. "Those birds are very empathic, but as long as he regrets any evil he does they'll read him as good. Remember they aren't human, so their point of view is different than ours."
"And that's all beside the point," Dawn said. "We aren't here to solve whatever problem he's creating, we're here to introduce my future hubby to his daughter. Well that and get him away from overprotective females who would object to my plans."
"I could tell you how you met and fall in love," Hermione offered, a bit distracted by everything going on.
"I was twelve and he had a crush on my older sister," Dawn said. "He didn't speak down to me or treat me like a nuisance and even stood up for me when my sister insulted me. I fell for him so hard I bounced!"
"Yes, but those were implanted memories," Xander reminded her. "You came into existence with a crush on me. You are real, but your feelings for me aren't."
"I got over that crush," Dawn said looking into his eyes. "And I developed a whole new one on you, practically every time things got tough and you showed what you were made of. I didn't fall in love with you completely until after the battle with the First. You have no idea how close I was to using the 'not wanting to die a virgin' line on you before Anya drug you off."
"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, if you'd like we can provide a private room for your family discussion," Dumbledore offered.
"Granger," Dawn said thoughtfully before groaning and burying her face in her hands.
"Mom?" Hermione asked worriedly.
Xander grinned. "Your mom just realized why we chose the last name Granger."
"It's short for Green Ranger," Dawn said with a sigh.
"B-but the Power Rangers didn't come out til I was eight!" Hermione complained, making a connection to the only Green Ranger she knew of.
"Our universe of origin is a couple of decades ahead of here," Dawn admitted.
"Why Green Ranger?" she asked.
"Because your Mom popped up mid-season and green is her power," Xander said.
"Green is you power?" Hermione asked.
"Family secret," Dawn said.
"Brightest day to blackest night," Hermione said looking from one parent to the other.
Xander blushed while Dawn looked confused.
"The Green Lantern's oath?" Dawn asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"The Green Lantern's oath," Hermione said quickly writing that down. "I heard that phrase through your bedroom door when I was ten, but you always refused to tell me what it was."
"And why are you blushing?" Dawn asked Xander.
"I have a tattoo," Xander admitted. "I got drunk after watching the Green Lantern movie."
"Oh? Oh!" Dawn's eyes widened as she put two and two together.
"So… give us a hint?" Hermione asked hopefully.
"Honey," Dawn said gently, "do you really want to know the details of your parents' sex lives?"
"No!"
"I would," somebody muttered.
"Well tough," Dawn said firmly, "because we don't even know all the details yet."
"Harry I need you to join the other champions," Dumbledore said trying to get things to run according to script.
"Why?" Harry asked. "You know I didn't put my name in the cup and have no interest in competing."
"It's just until we get things sorted out," Dumbledore promised.
"Fine," Harry said, clearly unhappy as he stood up.
"I can't believe you!" Ron hissed angrily at him.
"Who's the jealous little shit?" Xander asked clearly unimpressed with Ron's attitude.
"Language!" Hermione blurted out reflexively.
"Keep your racism to yourself," Xander said firmly.
"What?" came the confused response from half a dozen people.
Dawn sighed. "There is no such thing as a dirty word, the words that are considered such are just holdovers from medieval cultural imperialism where the nobles were trying to stamp out a culture and their language to force the locals to conform to their ways."
"Yes, however the majority of the people we interact with won't know this and simply assume we are ill mannered ruffians with low IQ's if we talk that way," Hermione explained.
"Huh?" Ron asked dumbly.
"That shite won't fly," Fred translated.
"So talk decently or expect to get smacked," George finished.
"Bitch!" Xander added cheerfully.
"Dad!"
"End strong honey," Xander said. "Plus the irony is hilarious."
"He's good," Fred and George chorused.
"I'll rephrase that for sensitive ears," Xander promised. "Who's the little worm that makes me smell a rat?"
"Really?" Dawn asked Xander before anyone could comment.
"I see what I see," Xander said. "Instant jealousy, over whatever plot the Gandalf wannabe is targeting the kid with the bed head with and from the hurt looks back this isn't the first time he's turned on them. Plus the way he keeps glancing at the old guy for cues says he's a spy in their camp."
"Did you betray us you little shit?!" Hermione demanded, fire in her eyes causing the boy to shrink back.
Typing by: The Last Primarch!