How did I even get here? Haymitch. No, me. No, Snow. Snow called the Victors to the arena. We could have been trapped as mentors instead, living out our fake shiny happiness for years and years, but I remember my hand shaking as I knocked on the door of his house. I didn't expect him to come to the door given he was drowning himself on the best of days. We had a 50/50 shot of being picked but he was no good to us in the arena.

"S'open..." I walked in. He laughed, sarcastic, "Figured it was you. She wouldn't have knocked." I doubt she even knows what's at stake.

I stopped then, looking at him and him looking at me across the room. Doom closing in around us. There might be a chance on either of our names but she was going. There was no one else, "How can I keep her alive?" I asked him.

"This again?" he said.

I walked towards his table and put my hands on it to keep steady, "Of course, this again. I only got out last time because of her..." Last time, though...last time I was terrified. Last time I didn't think I could do anything except maybe help people like her enough to get sponsors and perhaps last a few days in the arena a week at most. There was no way I thought I would be here now.

Haymitch snorted.

"...well, that and whatever else you were doing outside, but no matter that you were not in there with us. No matter what you were doing in the viewing halls someone or something could have still killed me in the arena if it wasn't for her. It doesn't matter how many pretty parachutes you send."

He took a long swig of whatever he was drinking, "Fair enough."

"You are more use to us out here than in there. You have contacts. You have all sorts of people. I have none of that. So, if I get called let it go. If you get called I'll volunteer for you."

"Peeta..."

"What?" I said, "You know that's how it has to go. You know that's what you were going to tell me, isn't it? Katniss has to live. She has to, and you can make that happen from out here. I can't."

"That's true." He said, "and you might be able to help stop the games from up there, and I sure as hell can't. I am not a pretty talker. I do not have a way with words."

"What do you mean?"

"Sit down, boy." He dropped onto the couch, "You're making me nervous."

I sat down in the chair at the table nearest the couch, facing him, right arm resting on the table. "You know how pissed you feel right now? Imagine how pissed the other victors feel. They've been living off the Capitol for years now, some of them have even had it pretty good. They sure as hell don't want to go back into the arena and have to fight to the death." He paused, "Though I can think of a couple who might volunteer for much less noble reasons than you."

"Everything's upset already..." I tell him, "...it's a powder keg out there. It could be instrumental in the destruction of humanity. The tour. Snow..."

"True." He says, "But I guarantee you. No-one else going up for tribute wants these games."

"But-"

He waves me to get up as he gets up himself and guides me towards the door, "They might want to kill other people...but they don't want to die and there are some who'll get drawn who have just as much of a grudge against Snow as we do. Just have to find them." The door opens and he pushes me out into the snow. I slip in the doorway and fall onto the ground in the cold, icy snow.

No, the snow...was gathering snow to put on Gale's back after they whipped him.

That was...the snow is so cold it burns my hands, and soaks through my clothes but I'm being pulled in to it and I can't get out. It's sticky and I'm too heavy as I sink into the ground and the snow caves in over me and smothers me, and then fire and screams.

Flailing against the cuffs, jolts me awake, pain from my wrist that's still sore, despite them doing something that's helping it heal. The arena's fading around me, and hear I am, kicking out against the floor, and restraints banging against the wall. I realize I'm shouting and screaming.

"Doing okay in there, Twelve?" Johanna's voice cuts through the remaining haze.

I must have been yelling for some time as sore as my throat is. Johanna sounded...concerned. Has she been trying for a while?

"I was...I was...there was...burning..."

"Fire and water..." Johanna tuts, "I wonder if someone's getting buried alive somewhere, lucky bastard. Still got all your fing-as many fingers and toes as you came in with?"

I can't help but laugh a little even though it makes my throat ache, "Yes. Still got my hair too."

"Ass." She's quiet for a moment, "They were burning you and they didn't burn your head?"

She's right. It doesn't make any sense. Where was the fire? It was all over my chest and my arms but everything I can see looks fine. Everything I can't there's nothing taut-nothing pulls when I move. I remember burning my arm on the oven and that flesh smell that went through the town along with coal and smoke after...

"I don't..."

"Blondie?"

"Finnick was..."

"Finnick's not here. Finnick's lapping it up in Dis...some place that I have no knowledge of WHATSOEVER!" she snaps, "No idea where he would be. No idea. No idea. Why did you mention him?"

"He had me pinned. Katniss was burning me."

"The hell, Twelve? Was there some wound they closed on you before we met up? Or was there some weird sex thing that happened in the-forget it. You and the Mockingjay are way too into each other to let some-besides he has his Annie and you have each other. I'm just in pent up crazy town right now. Forget it."

"Katniss and I aren't-"

"Aren't what?"

"She doesn't." I counter.

"Doesn't what?" Johanna sounds genuinely confused.

"Love me."

There is a long exasperated noise from the other cell, "Get over here so I can beat the pity party out of you." She makes a sort of scream shout similar to the one she yelled in the arena, "You guys might have play-acted some in 74, and I don't claim to be any kind of love expert but there are feelings she has and they are for you. Maybe she doesn't even understand them but they are there, so stop being an idiot, and don't you dare tell anyone I ever said anything like this."

"Okay."

"Did you say something?"

"I said 'Okay'"

"Good. Now lets talk about something else. I gotta get this sappy taste out of my mouth."