Negotiations 2

"No!" Ron quickly blurted out… after looking to Dumbledore for directions.

It took everything Dumbledore had not to wince.

Hermione looked heartbroken and her future parents quickly pulled her into a hug.

"Putting people upon pedestals practically predicates-" Xander began before Dawn smacked him in the back of the head. "Oww! Thanks, Dawn."

"It never ends well because people are human and fallible," Dawn said.

"He was supposed to be good, someone to look up to," Hermione complained. "And Ron was supposed to be… a friend."

"As your future father, just let me say it's probably for the best, because my other self would have killed him," Xander said.

"What could a muggle do to me?" Ron snorted. "No offense, but I'm a wizard and you aren't even a squib."

"Ignorant and bigoted," Dawn said rolling her eyes. "Try for someone like Bed Head here," she said pointing at Harry. "He wants to comfort you but doesn't know how and looks offended by Mr. I'm-a-wizard's attitude."

Xander looked over at Harry carefully. "I wouldn't chop off his hands for touching you," he admitted. "Though he really should do something about the soul anchor in that scar."

"Soul anchor?!" Harry exclaimed, while still blushing bright red.

"Yeah," Xander nodded. "You got a bit of dead guy in that."

"Hey!" Ron quickly jumped in to derail things at Dumbledore's signal. "It's not being bigoted when it's true, a muggle is helpless against a wizard. Watch!"

"What?!" Hermione would have interrupted but Dawn pulled her aside at a signal from Xander.

"Just watch," Dawn assured her.

"B-but dad's just a muggle," Hermione complained.

"Did we raise you to be a bigot?" Dawn asked in surprise.

"No, but muggles have no defense against magic!" Hermione protested.

"Sure they do, and what is a muggle?" Dawn asked, as Xander grinned evilly and slowly walked towards Ron.

"A muggle is a person who can't do any magic," Hermione said staring wide eyed as Xander easily side stepped a leg locker, drew a machete and pulled out a whetstone.

The sound of Xander casually running the whetstone along the edge of his blade chased Ron as he backed away casting stronger hexes and jinxes, which Xander easily avoided.

"Then there's no such thing as a muggle," Dawn snorted. "I've never met anyone who couldn't be trained in magic."

"What?" Hermione asked shocked.

Backed into the doors with nowhere to go Ron fumbled and dropped his wand.

*THUNK*

The machete appeared in the door embedded next to Ron's head and he dropped limply to the floor. Xander retrieved his blade and shook his head at the passed out boy. "Clearly I am at his mercy."

One of the older students in a fur lined robe stood up. "He wasn't a proper wizard anyway, just goes to show how weak blood traitors are!"

"Then step up," Xander said with a wave of his machete.

"Dear, you shouldn't pick on school children," Dawn said.

"I'm just making a point to a bigot," Xander defended himself as he started towards the sixth year visiting student.

"Glacis," the student incanted, covering the floor between them in a layer of ice.

Xander walked on untroubled by the ice. "Good thought," he said. "Mobility is life in battle."

"Diffindo!" the student called out loudly, slashing the air with his wand and sending a line of silver energy at Xander figuring he'd dodge and slip on the ice and sending a couple of quick wordless stunners to either side.

"Catch!" Xander said using the flat of his blade to reflect the diffindo back and ignoring the two stunners that impacted the ground on either side of him.

The young wizard froze, not having expected to have his attack reflected back at him and too winded by casting the two quick and silent stunners to cast a shield.

"Shit!" Xander cursed.

Dawn snapped her fingers and a wall of green flames leapt up in front of the frozen student and swallowed the spell right before it could reach him. Xander flinched back from Dawn's glare.

"Alright, alright, no playing with the kiddies," he exclaimed. "You OK?"

"Um, yeah," the student said having just seen his life flash before his eyes and realized not only had he failed to be the next Merlin, but that he really spent a lot of time wanking off. "I thought you'd dodge."

"That would have been a mistake on my part," the one eyed man said. "I generally don't make many mistakes unless women are involved."

"Muggles should be helpless against magic," the boy said numbly.

"Anyone can use magic," Xander said. "Amount and type just vary a lot."

"You are sleeping on the couch," Dawn growled.

"We aren't dating yet," Xander said bluntly.

"You fell in love with your daughter the moment you laid eyes on her," Dawn said smugly.

"Any father would be proud to have her as a daughter," Xander replied with a nod, "but how does that equal us being a couple?"

"Well unless we get together, no daughter," Dawn replied.

"What?!" Hermione and Harry chorused.

"Relax dear," Xander said placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Time doesn't work that way. You exist regardless of what we decide, all we can do is affect whether this version of us becomes your parents."

"Are you sure?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, remember how Willow summoned the vampire version of herself from the timeline Cordelia created?"

"I came into existence later and the monks didn't include anything involving that."

"Oh, well playing with time increases the number of timelines that can be reached from each person's native node and can influence probability, but since eternity and infinity are more than just mathematical constructs you can't actually create or destroy a timeline."

"That makes a lot of sense," a blonde Ravenclaw said in the sudden silence that followed Xander's announcement.

"I think I sprained a lobe," Dawn said. "And why do you know so much about spacetime when you hate math?"

"All science fiction geeks know the practical applications of advanced theoretical physics," Xander said, not wanting to admit he got it from a comic book.

Dumbledore expanded the Gryffindor table and waved for the two to sit with their daughter, trusting in the elves cooking to keep them out of the way for a moment. "Harry, join the champions," Dumbledore ordered, giving up on subtlety for the moment.

Harry left, muttering about switching schools.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" Dawn demanded, as she loaded up her plate.

"Because I take commitments seriously," Xander replied as she passed him the potatoes. "If you wanted to leap into bed you could probably seduce me without too much trouble," he admitted.

"Dad!" Hermione groaned.

"What? Your mother is gorgeous, fun, loving, intelligent and tons of other things I look for in a woman," Xander replied.

"And your dad's a bit of an easy lay," Dawn admitted.

"What?!" Hermione screeched.

"I'm surrounded by the best humanity has to offer, while fighting a war that will eventually claim all our lives," he replied with a shrug. "None of us involved are hard to get into bed, really."

"So why is this so difficult?" Dawn demanded.

"Because you haven't given me a reason we should be together," Xander said.

"I've already explained the how and why of falling in love with you," Dawn said thoughtfully. "I'm also pretty sure you love me."

"True," Xander said, passing her the gravy boat.

"What am I missing?"

"If love alone was enough reason to marry we'd be in a polygamous relationship with enough people to make the Mormons excommunicate us," Xander replied. "Tell me why we should get married.

Dawn ate some ham while considering what to say.

"Love isn't a good enough reason?" Hermione asked.

"Not alone," Xander replied. "A heart can love quite a few people, but even if the love is reciprocated it doesn't mean you're guaranteed a happy ending. Take Romeo and Juliet for instance, if they had truly loved one another they would have let each other go."

"But they were soul mates!" several people, not all of them female, chorused in argument.

"All souls are one," Xander said with a shrug. "The whole idea that only one person is meant for you is a lie invented by someone who wanted sex from someone who needed a good excuse to hop in bed with them. If they had truly loved one another they would have let the other go to find someone else to love that wouldn't require massive amounts of bloodshed to work things out."

"So why marry?" a dark skinned boy asked.

"Because you love someone, want to spend the rest of your life with them, and have a good shot at achieving happiness," Xander said. "You need the last one more than the first two really, because you can fall in love after you've married someone, which is really quite common in places where arranged marriages still take place."

An Indian girl nodded. "Love flourishes much more easily between a compatible couple who have made a commitment than between strangers."

"Xander," Dawn said. "I would like to marry you so I can spend the rest of my life with you, because I love you and enjoy the time we spend together. I think we could make each other very happy if we settle down and raised a family for a couple of decades. When the children are grown we would of course go back to fighting full time."

"I accept," Xander said and the two vanished in a flare of green flames.

Ron had recovered and made it back to the table in time to hear the whole conversation, but all he could do was blink and say, "what just happened?"

Typing by: The Last Primarch!