So, just as a reminder, we are following the movie version, so the characters are all back in Rohan after visiting Isengard, unlike the book. So for those of you who might remember the book more than the movie, don't get lost.

A shout out to Caelia Danan for being reviewer number 400! *Cue fireworks and confetti* And thanks a ton from the bottom of our hearts to all our readers and reviewers for supporting us and giving us your thoughts and opinions. We always enjoy seeing your reactions to the crazy things that go on with Alexandra and the rest of the company.

WARING- I don't really know why we give out warnings so often since this is labeled a parody and for humor, so it is really unnecessary, but just in case, there is major OCC contents here, so just be sure that is all on purpose.

37- Gandalf won't let me pass anywhere Part 2

Well, as I promised, I will tell you about one of the biggest incidents concerning Gandalf's whim of not letting me pass. It was the day that Aragorn and the others returned from Isengard with the hobbits. That night there would be a celebration in memory of those who died at war *cough* drinking party *cough*. Anyways, I was still not completely free of orc blood and other body parts that had gotten attached to me during those nights since the hygiene facilities at Helms Deep are dreadful, especially after a war. So, at the moment the only working "bathrooms" in Rohan were all being used to tend to the wounded men. There was only one bathroom available, but, it was meant only for the men who had returned from war. Well that seemed rather unfair, I had participated in that war just as much as those men, and even more than some since I was down on the wall! So, as the deserving warrior I am, I decided to sneak into the men's bathroom when no one was there. It was supposed to be a quick bath, in and out, but things don't usually go as planned for me, as you all know by now. I waited until evening when no one was around the bathroom and suck in quite easily. It was glorious to jump into the pool and feel the layers of blood and guts peel off my skin. It took me just a little longer than expected to get myself clean. That was when I heard someone open the door to the house bath, so I jumped from the water, wrapped a towel around myself, grabbed my stuff and darted towards the door. I felt my heart freeze when I saw the doorknob being turned, but I literally froze in place when I saw who was on the other side… Gandalf… with only a towel wrapped around his… waist… if you can call that a waist. It was all bony and wrinkly and pale and just old! Not the kind of body that you actually want to see in the bathroom.

Gandalf just stared at me with a quizzical look.

I smiled, reluctantly, and fidgeted nervously. "Hi, Gandalf," I said with a weak smile. "Fancy meeting you here."

The old man gave me a bemused look as he raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Not that kind of fancy you geezer!" I blurted out. "Anyways, I would love to stay around and chat, hut I'm in a bit of a hurry so I'll just be on my way."

I began go around the old man, when suddenly Gandalf swiftly blocked me, opened his hands and yelled:

"You shall not pass!"

I literally squealed and jumped back in surprised.

"Are you kidding me?!" I screamed.

I quickly tried to scurry around him, but the old man moves like lightning! I could not get pass him no matter how much I tried! With all the commotion of me trying to run out and him yelling the same dammed phrase over and over again, neither of us heard the door to the bath house being opened, until three men walked in behind Gandalf. Instantly, I froze. At first the three men had confused expressions as they tried to look over Gandalf who was not moving, but the second their eyes fell on me, they screamed. At that moment I was frozen, but not because I was being seen by men in the bathroom, but because these men, these though, Uruk slaying warriors, had screamed, like banshees! I could not contain myself, it began with a contained chuckle but it evolved into a full on cackle. At the same time, the men began to yell and scold me, though the funny thing about this was the horrified looks in their faces and the slight hints of fear in their eyes and voices.

You'd think that guys who battle Uruk-hais and other horrible creatures would be more composed when they saw a naked woman. And I was not even naked, in fact, I had a towel around where it mattered!

"Why is there a woman naked in the bathroom?!"

"Have you no shame, woman?! Were you never taught to…"

"Good gods, woman! How dare you use this place reserved for men?!"

"This is a place for men you…"

"This is meant only for warriors, not little girls."

It was then that I got fed up and started yelling at the top of my lungs.

"OH SHUT UP YOU FREAKING PANSIES! You call yourselves men when you can't even handle a "little girl" half dressed?! Well guess what? I have just as much right to use this bathroom as you do! You know why? Because this is a bathroom meant for the warriors that returned from war. And guess what? This "little girl" kicked some series Uruk butt! Yeah that's right! I was there when the war began, not like you pansies that got here with on your fancy horses when most of the dirty work was done! So suck it up and man up!"

It was then, when I tried to shove Gandalf away, I slipped with the wet floor and reached for anything to hold myself, and guess what I grabbed, yup, his towel. I landed on my butt. I then looked at my hand and for a second I didn't know exactly what I was holding, until I looked up. OH MY GOD! My eyes! You thought Gimli was a bad sight? Obviously you've never seen what a few hundred year old wizard's body looks like! And in the position I was sitting on the floor, I had a bottom up view, just the perfect view of his… wizardly staff. Everyone was silent for a moment, even the men behind Gandalf had shocked expressions on their faces, and as I think about it, I think I saw some pity in their eyes as they looked from Gandalf to me.

Everything after that is all blurry. I don't really remember how I made it to my room or how I got dressed. All I remember was the need to get out of there and never see that never ever, ever, EVER again!

I don't know how long after that it was when someone knocked on my door. I was not really in the position to answer so the person continued to knock until they opened the door. Legolas walked in to find me, crouched against the corner of the wall in fetal position, rocking back and forth. His eyes widened and he scurried towards me, crouching before me and taking one of my hands in his.

"Alex, what is wrong?" he asked with alarm in his voice, but I did not answer. "Alexandra, tell me what has happened!" he asked, dropping my hand and shaking my shoulders, softly. He pressed a hand over my forehead, checking my temperature to find a cold sweat. He gently held my face in one of his hands and searched my eyes with a worried look. His other hand gently swiped some hair off my forehead. His touch was so gentle that for a moment, I was able to leave that trance and focus only on him. His face slowly drew closer to mine until our foreheads touched.

"Alexandra," he whispered, lowly, his hot breath tickling my lips, "Alexandra," he repeated in the same soft tone, and I prepared for what was to come. Then his face suddenly turned grim, and, in the most serious tone I've ever heard him speak, he asked. "Alex, did you eat some of Eowyn's cooking again?"

At that moment I felt all my hopes and dreams shatter, and since the mood was so brutally killed. I gracefully raised my hand up high, held it up for a second, and swift as lightning, made it collide with his flawless cheek *SMACK*

Legolas quickly pulled back, almost losing his balance for a moment, his hand flying to his now stinging cheek.

"What was that for?!" he asked, his eyes completely wide with surprise, confusion and anger.

"You ass!" I yelled. "I actually thought you were going to k-" I stopped dead on my tracks, my eyes widening and my checks heating up with embarrassment.

"Thought I was going to what?" he asked, clearly still utterly confused.

"I… I… never mind!" I yelled, angrily.

"Well what on earth has gotten into you?! You looked like you saw the dead rise just earlier. What happened?"

Just then I felt as all the memories crashed into me again, and I whimpered loudly before jumping to the corner to resume my rocking in my fetal position.

Legolas looked at me with bewilderment. He moved closer to me, yet this time he kept some distance.

"Will you not tell me what happened?"

I tried to answer, but as the thoughts flowed into my mind, it became too much. I jumped from where I was to grab Legolas by the collar of his shirt and proceeded to yell in his face.

"The horror! It was horrendous! So many wrinkles, so much old skin. It was so pale! It cannot be unseen!" I then jumped into his arms and clutched him while sobbing desperately into his chest.

As this was going on, one of the soldiers that had been in the bathroom passed my room, and since the door was still open, he saw the scene. Legolas wasn't really touching me, so he opened his arms in a sign of confusion and looked at the soldier for help. The man, knowing well what I was going through, entered the room and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She has seen horrors that are the stuff of nightmares."

Legolas gave the man a questioning look, so the man bent to whisper at his ear, in consideration for me, so that I may not have to hear the event being recounted. In the lowest possible tone he said:

"Miss Alex has seen Gandalf naked. Please do not ask her more. She has suffered enough." He then pats his shoulder and leaves the room.

Legolas just stayed there, confused and looking after door, still not understanding the whole situation, but knowing it was in his best interest not to ask.

It's funny because this was meant, in my head, to be a very short chapter, but Windy-san got very inspired, and then I decided that a bit of fluff and fan service was perfect in this chapter, though Windy was the one who outdid herself with the scene XD Tell us what you think, yes?

Just wanted to let you guys know that next week's updates might or might not come, depending on how this week ends because this week and the next are exam weeks so we have a ton of tests and work to turn in. I hope to get at least one written for you guys.