Thanks for the follows, favs and reviews.

So there's a bit in here that Martha referred to in the previous chapter, someone asked me to put it in, however, the story would probably make sense without it.

I hoped that I would have seen 7x01 by now but it is still not on UK iTunes, don't know why. I was trying to avoid FF until I'd seen it but I can see now having to wait until next March or whenever it airs on TV here. Anyway here's chapter two.

Chapter 2: Care

Twenty minutes later an out of breath Castle knocked on the door to Beckett's apartment, he heard her approach the door and presumably look through the peep hole. "Kate I know you're there, open the door." Clearly not as light on her feet as she used to be, either that or a floorboard had become creaky, she unlocked and opened the door and to Rick's dismay he saw the tear tracks down her face, tissue in her hand. He now understood his mother's concern and eagerness for him to come over immediately. "I'm sorry."

Silence fell for a moment while Kate took in the sight of him. "What are you doing here, Castle?" He noted the use of his surname rather than his first. Over the course of their relationship Rick had become more frequent than 'Castle' appearing usually only at the precinct or if she was angry with him.

"I want my fiancée back." Part of her wanted to shut the door but she still remained with most of her body hidden behind it.

"Really?"

"I want to be involved in my child's life."

"I'd never keep you from him."

"I want to be there, for him and for you."

"How do I know that you aren't just saying this today and it will be back to normal tomorrow?" Back to the arguments, the ignoring one another and awkwardness; at least in her apartment there wouldn't be any of that here. She'd be on her own.

"Because you have to believe me, I want to be there when you're in labour, give birth, for the feeds at three in the morning; all of it."

"I can't deal with empty promises, Castle. You can shout at me but I'm not bringing our son into an atmosphere like that so until you show me otherwise I'm not going back to the loft."

"Kate, please." Rick begged.

"I'm meant to be on bed rest, Castle. I'll be there for your next appointment." She tries to shut the door but he blocks it with his foot.

"Why didn't you tell me about your kidnapping?"

"Because I didn't want to, you wouldn't listen to me anyway so me telling you about mine and how I recovered would have only added fuel to a fire." Kate said, purposefully not looking at him.

"Tell me now." Rick urged. "I'm listening."

"Fine." Kate opens the door to let him in. She walks slowly over to the sofa, sitting down gradually. He follows shutting the door behind him. "December 2006. Fifteen agonising days. It was two days before someone even noticed I was gone. Tortured, beaten and raped. You name it, they did it. We closed a case, at least we thought we had, but then the gang took me. I spent a week in hospital before contracting MRSA. Six days on life support. Six weeks of gruelling rehabilitation, six months of therapy before I could function like a normal person. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Why didn't you tell me before, I thought we had no secrets." He questioned, while it was not a pleasant conversation it needed to happen.

"It's not exactly something I wanted to bring up, I didn't want you to treat me any differently or look at me as if I was damaged more than you already thought. I still have nightmares about it."

"How did you do it? Get back to normalcy?" He asked, eager to hear how she did it. He'd seen her after her abduction in the undercover case last spring but she seemed to bounce back well.

"Worked hard at getting better, attending every therapy and doctors' appointments and listened to my friends. Became somewhat robot like at times, did what I needed to do to get through the day." She answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I had no idea."

"I didn't want anyone else to know,"

"It shows your strength and determination."

"Yeah well there's only so much of that a person has."

"I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault, you didn't know who I was."

"I also meant for the way I treated you-"

"If you had known that it happened to me too then you would have treated me differently? That being shot having to deal with PTSD that nearly destroyed me then being beaten and drowned by Vulcan Simmons wasn't enough on its own for me to understand what it is like. Gee thanks." She responded sarcastically mistakenly under the illusion that his sympathy and sorrow were only coming from hearing about her first kidnapping. In that moment she hated Martha for telling him.

"No, I'm sorry for all of it. What I've said and done or not done. Right now we should have been married and both looking forward to the arrival of our son, not fighting."

"Well I'm just dealing with it the best way I can."

"You've done an exceptional job; I couldn't have done it if this were the other way around. Never mind having to hold down a job and be a human incubator."

"Well I'm not sure I'm going to have a job much longer so don't be too impressed."

"Kate, they can't-"

"Not yet but I'm now on sick leave, I'll soon be on maternity leave which I know I won't be able to afford to take twelve weeks off-"

"Kate, why wouldn't you?"

"I can't keep up the mortgage and pay for food for me as well as everything required for the baby." She'd never ask him for money, not because she was too proud but it wouldn't feel right at the moment or ever. Sometimes he acted as if the child and pregnancy didn't exist. If she had been working properly then money wouldn't have been a problem. Her income had nearly halved due to the lack of hours that she had put in. Damn America and not having Maternity Leave payments.

"Don't be so stupid." He countered; he had money, lots of money.

"I'm not stupid, Castle. I can't be at the loft with our relationship the way it is. What if you get tired or sick of being woken up by him then take it out on him? I'm an adult, I can take the shouting and the insults but what if you hurt him? Or shake him, it isn't hard but if my child died or was hurt because I put him in a risky situation I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"I wouldn't ever..."

"The old Richard Castle wouldn't but this new one I don't know." Kate cut him off before he had time to fully respond.

"I'm still the same person you fell in love with."

"I hoped so but every day when I don't get a hug from you or so much as a thank you for making you your breakfast, lunch and dinner I'm reminded that it isn't. The man who was my fiancée would never shout and bellow at me when he could see the tears falling down my face. He would get up with me at night when the baby keeps me awake and he'd be there at every appointment regardless of whether he was in a relationship with me. He would tell me if he cancelled an appointment so I didn't turn up only to be told by the receptionist.

"The Richard Castle that was my fiancé would tell me that he loves me and can't wait for the baby to arrive. He would have had the nursery and everything ready before the sixth month but the Richard Castle that's in front of me hasn't done ANY of that.

"Most of all he sure as hell wouldn't tell me that bringing a child into our world, where kidnappers like yours were still free, is wrong." Kate was starting to lose it, everything she had listed was making her state of mind worse. She could feel the tears brimming in her eyes once more. She could never hate him, he'd given her so much but right now she didn't need this.

"I'm so sorry; I never intended to make you feel that way. I don't know what I was thinking when I said bringing a baby into our world was wrong, the timing for our first child could have been better but I would never reject a child; PTSD or no PTSD." Rick was beginning to wonder what exactly had he become? His mother and Kate saw this day in day out and managed to put up with it. Until now.

"I'm on bed rest until further notice because of my blood pressure and risk of numerous other things. The doctor said I needed a break to look after me and the baby, so that's what I'm doing." She gasped in pain, quickly putting both hands on her back and pressing down hoping to relieve pressure.

"Kate? What is it? Is it the baby?" Rick asked.

She didn't respond at first, making him more nervous, she waited until it was over to reply.

"Ow, God that hurts." She mumbles to herself.

"I'll call an ambulance." He said as he dug in his pocket to retrieve his phone.

"No, Castle, it's just Braxton Hicks. They're like practice contractions."

"I didn't know you'd been having them."

"Well now you do." How could a man not notice a woman stopping for a minute after gasping in pain? Oh right, an ignorant one.

"What can I do?"

"Go home, go back to the loft." She requested leaving the reason unsaid.

"Only, if you come with me."

"No. I don't want you to...just go home, Castle. I told Martha that I'd ring if I needed anything."

"We go together or I'm staying here." He said making a stance.

"Fine, do as you please. I'm going to bed."

"Let me help you." Rick said as he came to stand in front of her.

"No, I'm fine." She wasn't but didn't want him to know that, she needed to lower her blood pressure and this was only raising it.

"How am I going to get you to believe me if you don't let me do things?"

"Fine, just pull me up." She finally accepted it may have been a while before she got up by herself. She was remembering how hard it was.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"I mean it, Kate. I'm staying; I'm going to be here from now on. "

Kate just nodded until she got to the doorway of the bedroom. "Thank you, Castle. Even if you don't stay; thank you for giving me a little bit of hope to hold on to." She meant it, earlier after his reaction this morning and then how he cancelled his appointment and didn't turn up to hers she was beginning to think all hope was gone and it was over.

Rick looked on as Kate disappeared into her room, he was disappointed that she hadn't come home to the loft with him but could understand her scepticism if what his mother and Kate told him about his behaviour was true.

Thank you for reading :)

There's still angst to come.

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