Listening

Xander was still feeling a bit down over being kicked out of the slaying so he bought the largest slurpee they had and some snacks, while wondering what he was going to do with his nights now. His feet led him along one of their usual patrol routes without conscious thought until he heard the sounds of battle and came upon everyone in pitched battle with a large group of vamps.

Xander's first inclination was to jump in, but then he recalled Buffy's harsh words about his fighting skills which everyone had gone along with her about; how he was likely to get someone killed fighting alongside them, so he simply leaned against a tombstone.

One of the vampires on the edge of the fight noticed Xander and turned away from the battle to come at Xander in full game face, fingers curled into claws, and hissing of all things.

Xander simply raised an eyebrow and stared at the approaching vamp till it faltered and cleared its throat, embarrassed at being caught behaving like a fledge.

"So… not here for the fight?" The vampire asked.

"Nah, attracted by the noise. Twizzler?" Xander offered, holding out a piece of licorice.

"Can't eat, vampire," the vamp replied wistfully.

"Have you tested that yourself or are you just going by what you're told? I seem to recall Spike smoking and drinking with no problem."

"You got a point," the vampire admitted and accepted it, took a small bite and slowly chewed it.

"Just remember to chew until it's practically liquid and that should help," Xander suggested.

"This is so good," the vamp moaned after a minute. "I can't tell you how much I missed things like this."

"You could probably grind some up and use it like chewing tobacco so you could enjoy the taste and sugar, if it turns out that eating it straight makes you nauseous," Xander said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, the vampire nodded slowly before carefully spitting out a hunk of heavily masticated licorice. "Whoa I think Bruce has Buffy on the ropes."

"Nah," Xander disagreed. "See how she's being driven back to the wall of the mausoleum?"

"Yeah."

"Watch what happens when she gets close."

Buffy sprang off the wall of the mausoleum, her spin kick snapping Bruce's neck.

"Ouch," the vamp said.

"Yeah, you can tell she's serious because she didn't stake him before rejoining the others. Wanna roll him for cash before someone stakes him?" Xander asked after a minute.

"Sure, I've always wanted his boots anyway."

Xander was a bit surprised by the amount of cash the vamp had on him. "Who carries three grand around on them?"

"Can't use banks and it's not like we have a lot to spend it on."

"Makes sense," Xander agreed, pocketing his half before taking stock of the battle. "You better split, it looks like it's almost over."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the normal folks have managed a defensible line and the two slayers have caught their second wind. They get less playful and more deadly poetry with the fight over and no longer enjoying it."

The vamps' numbers started dropping rapidly at that point.

"I'm thinking LA. Later," the vamp said agreeably before splitting.

Xander sipped his slurpee and watched the battered and bruised group start taking stock.

"Xander? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, shocked.

"Drinking a slurpee."

"How long have you been here?"

"Ten minutes or so."

"And you didn't help?" Giles demanded, holding his side where he'd bruised a couple of ribs or rather a vampire had.

"I helped plenty," Xander replied and took a sip. "Since Buffy said my help in the fight could get one of you killed and none of you disagreed, then staying out of it is the only smart decision. Unless of course that was just a bunch of popularity bullshit and you're all mindless sheep."

"You could have been attacked," Willow quickly pointed out.

"I did have one vamp consider that, but I explained I wasn't here to fight, I was just attracted by the racket."

"And that worked?!" Buffy demanded.

"I also gave him a Twizzler. We bonded over junk food and rolling paralyzed vamps for cash. Sadly he's decided to relocate to LA. Too bad I could use a friend."

"I want you to stay at home at night," Buffy said firmly.

"And I want to win the lottery. It's nice to have dreams, but it's more important to remember the difference between fantasy and reality. Fantasy is me being lucky enough to win the lottery and you having the authority to order me around. Reality is the odds say I'll never win it and that the only influence you have over my actions is that of a friend and that is on really shaky ground at the moment. Well, have a nice night. I think I actually will buy a lottery ticket. After all, I could get lucky."

Faith laughed. "Damn if he doesn't have a pair."

Typing and extra punctuation by Bailey Matutine