Blaine speed-walks down the street, hoping no one notices him, or decides to look at where he's going. Sure, no one would actually know he's going to the hospital for a fertility test, but he's entirely convinced that he might bump into someone he knows, and they might second guess, and in turn, they will tell Kurt.
Kurt.
Blaine doesn't know why he had told Kurt his test was on Friday, when it had been on Wednesday at eleven all along. He had purposely decided not to dwell on it. He didn't want Kurt coming, because that made it all real, and he's not entirely sure he could handle that.
He knows Kurt will freak out when he reveals that he lied, but he also knows that he'd rather take all the yelling, followed by the freeze out, than having Kurt coming with him, and asking a whole load of questions that he's too afraid to find out the answers to.
The trouble is, once he's arrived at the clinic, and been told to take a seat, he really wishes Kurt were there to hold his hand.
"I'm an idiot," he murmurs, and the middle aged man next to him gives a weak smile. "I am."
"Blaine Anderson? This way please."
He follows the nurse down the hallway, pulling off his jacket, and rolling up his sleeves as they go.
"In here," she says, with a kind smile. She hands him a small plastic cup, and he stares at it while she speaks. "You'll find some magazines on the table over there. When you're done, leave your sample on the side here, and push the buzzer. I'll come back and then you can go."
"I have to...I have to pee in the cup?" he whispers, horrified. "There's not a toilet in here."
The nurse stares at him, then rests a hand on his arm. "This is a fertility test," she says kindly. "We need a sperm sample."
"What?" Blaine says, probably too loudly. "A sp...No. No. I thought this was a blood test..." he trails off weakly, as he realizes how foolish he sounds, and suddenly he needs Kurt more than ever, and not to help him over his fear of needles.
"Just take your time," the nurse says. "And buzz when you're done. The magazines will help."
"Oh my god," Blaine moans, utterly distraught, when the door closes and he is left alone. He sinks into the chair next to the small table, and dares to peek at the magazines. "No, no, no," he whispers, then pushes the buzzer.
The nurse returns, giving a knock on the door before looking in. "Okay?"
"Uh, no," Blaine says, his face on fire. "The...the magazines. They're...there's women in them. I can't..It...No. Um...I don't like girls," he finally gets out. Then he panics. "Oh! I mean I like girls. They're beautiful. My best friend is...um...a girl. But I don't like them, like them."
"That's fine," the nurse says, trying to hide her smile. "Let's take a look."
"No, really, let's not," he moans, hiding his eyes when a pair of breasts are flashed in his face.
"Hmm." The nurse carries on, flicking through another magazine now. "I'm sure we had... Oh, here. How about this?"
Blaine peeks. Two guys and a girl are engaged in a variety of sexual positions, that look horribly forced and unnatural. "No, I really don't...women...No."
"Um...Here!" She triumphantly hands him a double page spread, which is basically comprised of a man holding his erection and staring right into the camera. There is nothing remotely arousing about him, or the pictures, and all Blaine can think is "He looks like Kevin Bacon."
"Mmhmm, doesn't he?" the nurse laughs. "There you go. I'll leave you to it."
He pulls his phone from his pocket as soon as the door closes, and ignoring the no cell phone sign, calls Kurt at work.
"You have to help me!" he hisses, the second Kurt picks up.
"Hey, what's up? I've got a meeting in like...five minutes."
"I'm at the clinic for my test."
"Ha! You got the wrong day?"
"No, it's today, I just didn't want you to come."
"What?" Kurt shrieks, then he hurriedly closes the door to his office, and sits back behind his desk. "Blaine Anderson, if you think..."
"Yeah, yeah, listen, no time for that. I'm here, shut in this little room, and they want a...a sperm sample."
"Yeah. And?"
"Well I didn't know that! I wouldn't have come!"
"What did you think, Blaine? They were going to look in your ears?"
"Blood! I thought it was a blood test."
"A blood test? You've been shitting bricks about this for weeks!"
"Because I don't like needles!"
"Did you not wonder why they told you to abstain from sex for forty eight hours?"
"I just thought that was like...I don't know. So they could get a clear reading, or something."
"Yeah, of your sperm! Jesus Blaine! For someone so smart you are... beautiful," he finishes, stopping himself from hurling the insults.
"I don't know what to do, Kurt."
"Oh God," Kurt moans, thumping his forehead as he realizes just how completely horrified Blaine will be. "So what now, you can't produce?"
"Not a chance in hell. They left me with some magazines, and they all have women in them. There's like one picture of a guy pretending to jerk off."
"So use that."
"He looks like Kevin Bacon."
"Young or old?"
"Young. Footloose."
"Ooh. Nice. I'd definitely do a young Kevin Bacon."
"Well I wouldn't!"
"Hmm." Kurt thinks, and with the door closed, and the blinds into the outer office shut, he leans back in his chair, and puts his feet on the desk. "It's a shame you didn't want me there really, isn't it?"
"Yes," Blaine says meekly. "Sorry Kurt."
"That's okay," he says amiably. "The trouble is, if I was with you right now, I'll bet I could get that sample out of you in no time."
"You know you could," Blaine says, lowering his voice and smiling over the phone. "You're a bit of an expert when it comes to my body."
"Yeah. I like that," Kurt muses. "Being an expert on you. Damn. If you were here right now, I'd sit you on my desk, right in front of me, and I'd look you right in the eye as I rubbed you and made you hard."
"Kurt!" Blaine is shocked, and his voice comes out as a whisper, but he's undeniably turned on by the sultry tone Kurt's voice has taken on.
"It's okay though, Blaine. You're allowed to be hard. Run a hand over yourself. Do it for me."
"I can't," he says quietly, feeling very on edge. "I..."
"Do it, Blaine."
"Oh God."
"Are you doing it?"
"Yes."
"Good. You know what else I'd do if you were here? Sitting here right in front of me? I'd run my hands over your thighs, cause they're goddamn amazing, and then I'd unbutton your fly, and take out your cock."
"Ahhh, fuck," Blaine moans, shoving his pants and underwear to his ankles. He takes his cock in his hand and starts pumping frantically. It's too dry, and too rough, but he doesn't care. He has to do this, and the only way he's going to be able to manage it, is with Kurt providing this little fantasy for him. "Tell me."
"Oh god, your cock is glorious, Blaine," Kurt whispers. He shifts around in his chair, aware he's becoming turned on at work. "I'd suck it. I'd run my tongue around the head, dipping it into your slit to taste you. You taste so good."
"Fuck...yes."
"Take you deep in my throat, Blaine. You like that, don't you?"
"Yes!"
"I'd bring you right to the edge. Right there, until you're gasping and your legs are shaking and then...then I'd make you kneel at my feet and watch while I masturbate for you."
"Oh Jesus. Kurt. Please."
"I'm gonna stroke my cock while you kneel at my feet and watch me."
"Oh fuck...fuck...yes, Kurt. Want that."
"Yeah? You want that? What then? You wanna suck me? You want my aching cock in your mouth?"
"Yes!"
"You want me to come in your mouth? I want that, Blaine. I want you to kneel for me. I wanna come in your mouth."
Blaine makes some kind of whimpering moan, quickly setting his phone on speaker, as he grabs the cup, all shame and embarrassment forgotten.
"I wanna come," Kurt gasps, really wishing that he could do something about his now painful hard-on. "And then I want you back up on the desk, so I can watch you jerk off. You look so beautiful when you come for me, Blaine. And then, when you're done, I'm gonna lick all the come from your hand and cock. Take it all onto my tongue and swallow it down."
"Fuck!" Blaine cries loudly. "Oh fuck...Kurt!"
There's a loud gasp, and Kurt knows he's gotten there. Blaine shudders, somehow managing to spill into the cup, and then he rests it back on the table, while he pulls up his underwear and falls weakly back into the chair. "Young Kevin Bacon has nothing on you," he whispers, exhausted. "I love you."
"Hmm. I love you too," Kurt says with a smile. He really wishes they were together right now, so he could be sated and relieved, curling sleepily into Blaine's embrace, and not about to head to a meeting on florals and print for next season. "I kinda really have to go now."
"That's okay. I guess I'd better clean up and get out of here. How long was I?" he asks, starting to worry again. "Too long? Or not long enough? I'm always quicker, with you, cause you do things to me. Should I wait in here a while longer?"
"Blaine," Kurt laughs, shaking his head as he gathers his things for his meeting, and prays that his urgent desire will decide to disappear. "You're the cutest, you know that? Just get out of there, go home, go to class, or whatever it is you're gonna do, and I'll see you later."
"Okay. What time are you home?"
"Probably not until seven thirty."
"Boo."
"I know, but we have a new intern starting this afternoon, so I need to show them around, and talk them through some stuff, then I've gotta meet with some designers. I'll bring take out, okay?"
"Can you get Pad Thai from that place on eleventh?"
"For you, yes."
They say their goodbyes, and Blaine cleans up, presses the buzzer, and waits. When the nurse returns, he can't look her in the eye, just mumbles that he's done, and waits for her to say he can leave.
He bolts from the hospital, not stopping until he's found a small coffee shop, where he hides away in a corner with the biggest slice of cake they have, and a strong mug of coffee. It's only then, when he's pretending to read the New York Times, that he lets himself think it all over.
It's done. There is nothing he can do to alter the results in any way. All he can do is deal with them when they come. It's amazing how relaxed he now feels about it, really. Another relief, all of which is helping him on the road to recovery. They start therapy soon, and Blaine wonders if that will be when the nightmares end, because he would really like that.
He had hoped they'd stop after their visit to Baltimore, but they hadn't. Still, as Kurt had pointed out, it was going to take time, and as long as they were taking the necessary steps to move forward from this, then all would be okay.
He admires, and is surprised by, Kurt's optimism. Not so long ago, he would have been the one who looked on the dark side of all of this, the one who would have been convinced that nothing would ever be right again. Now he's here, reminding Blaine that it will get better, that they have their happiness, and that this is just a temporary obstruction. If they can't get over it, they'll go around it, and what is more, they'll do it together.
He also surprised Blaine by not getting mad when he had called him and revealed he was at the clinic. Blaine hadn't been expecting him to help out, he just needed to tell someone the awfulness of the situation, but he was very relieved that Kurt had essentially got him off over the phone.
He grins, unable to stop thinking about it.
Kurt returns from his meeting feeling hungry, and with a raging headache. He settles down in his chair, really not wanting to face his computer screen for a while, so he shuts it down and picks up a notepad and pen instead. He needs food, but the notes from the meeting must take precedence. He has ideas, and he needs to expand on them now, before they all leave his brain entirely.
"Knock, knock."
"Blaine!"
He grins widely at the sight of his fiancé, standing in the doorway, holding a bag from his favorite deli, and the notepad and pen are quickly pushed to one side.
"I thought you could use some food. I had cake," he explains, setting the bag down on an empty chair. "But I needed to thank you for earlier."
"Oh, the pleasure was mine, believe me," he laughs, as Blaine closes the door and hangs his coat on the back of it. "Well, it wasn't, but you get what I'm saying. This is nice," he remarks happily, already feeling more relaxed. "You don't often come in the office."
"Nope." Blaine lowers a blind, then turns to look over his shoulder. "And I should hope that you never do."
"Huh?"
"Come in the office," he repeats, lowering the second blind. Being Blaine, he also makes sure the office door is locked, but then he turns to face Kurt, and he walks slowly toward the desk. "Because making you come is my job."
"Holy shit!" Kurt murmurs, his eyes wide. "Do you mean...? Fuck!"
Coming around the desk, Blaine kneels at his feet, his hands on his thighs. "Yes."
"I have died." Kurt declares, letting his head fall back with a thump. "I have died and this is heaven. I'm surprised I made it, but grateful."
"Shh," Blaine says, trying hard not to laugh. "Just let me take care of you, the way you took care of me." He does laugh then, at the look of utter shock on Kurt's face.
"Oh my God," he moans, reaching out to slide a hand through Blaine's hair. "I'm at work. Jesus Christ! You're gonna blow me at work!"
"Yes I am."
He wastes no time, unfastening Kurt's pants and reaching into his briefs. He is half hard already, Blaine notes, just at the very thought, and the realisation of just how much Kurt wants him, makes Blaine reach up for a deep kiss which leaves them both breathless.
He wishes he had time to undress Kurt slowly, to tease him and make him weak with longing, but he doesn't, so he kneels again and takes him into the warm, wet heat of his mouth.
"Oh crap. Crap. I'm done for. Blaine...fuck. I love you," Kurt rambles, and then he actually giggles, unable to quite comprehend that his Blaine, his shy, sweet, innocent fiancé, is kneeling on the floor of his office giving him the most amazing blow job.
Blaine can't believe it either, and later he would come to realize that had he ever stopped for one second to think about it, he would never in a million years have had the guts to go through with it. But the idea had come to him in the coffee shop, and before he knew it, he was walking swiftly through the streets of Manhattan, with a very determined stride.
Kurt moves forward until he's resting on the edge of the chair, so Blaine can take him deeper, and he moans happily, his hands caressing the back of his neck. "Damn this is so good," he whispers. "So hot. Blaine...you're...oh my god."
Blaine looks up through his lashes, knowing full well it will drive Kurt crazy. He stops, smiles around him, and then pulls back slightly, running his tongue lightly around the head of his cock, and dipping it into the slit.
"Fuck!" Kurt cries, bucking upward, and then Blaine's mouth is around him once more. His tongue feels divine, and Kurt fists his hair, as he comes so hard he's left with white dots behind his eyes.
"Blaine!" he gasps. "I can't believe you just did that!"
"Hmm." Looking very pleased with himself, Blaine fastens Kurt's pants for him, and straightens up, leaning over for a long, drawn out and lazy kiss. "I'll see you at home," he whispers, his hand resting briefly on his cheek. "Love you, tiger."
"I love you too," Kurt says weakly, and then Blaine is gone, out into the large, open plan office. Kurt watches as he saunters away, and then he notices. "Blaine!" He runs through the office, well aware that people are looking, and he quickly steers Blaine out to the elevators. "Your hair," he whispers urgently. "It's crazy." He flattens it as best he can, and kisses his cheek, and then they're both blushing, knowing full well that the whole office now knows. "Aw damn it. You're so beautiful," he whispers, hugging him hard. "I love you so much."
"Hummel?"
He whirls around to see his boss, Kate, coming toward them, interrupting this awkward yet sweet moment, and he drops his arms to his side, and steps away from Blaine, his cheeks red. "Hi, Kate. Sorry. I was just...Blaine just..."
"Hi Blaine," she says with a smile. "Kurt, take the afternoon off."
"Huh? But the intern..."
"I'll have Lucy show her around. You can have the next one, since they'll be working under you anyway."
"I'm getting my own intern?"
"Not until October, but yes. Anyway. Take lover boy home. Go get your stuff."
Kurt bounces on his feet, clearly delighted. He doesn't dare look at Blaine, because he knows he is still dying of embarrassment, but he kisses Kate on the cheek as he passes, running back to grab his food and jacket.
"So Blaine, how are you?" Kate asks warmly.
"Oh! Good. Good. Yes. That's...Hmm. Yes. Good, thank you."
He looks so adorable, with his flushed cheeks and fluffy hair, that Kate sighs happily. "Is there any chance you're available for adoption?"
"Oh! Well actually, my best friend adopted me a while back. She...she calls herself my momma, so..." He trails off, not really sure why he divulged that to a woman he's only spoken with a handful of times. "Parents!" he suddenly remembers. "I have parents. One mom, two dads. Well actually, one dad died. The other one is Kurt's dad, but he's mine as well if you know what I mean?"
"Um...yes?" Kate replies, not having a clue. "Good. So, the wedding. Have you set a date?"
"We have," Blaine says, relieved to have an easier topic of conversation. "May eighteenth."
"A spring wedding. How lovely. Venue?"
"Yes."
"Ooh!" Kate claps her hands excitedly. "Where?"
"Oh...uh no, we don't have a venue booked. I was just saying yes, there will be a venue."
"Right." Kate hides her smirk, at this poor young man and his sex-addled brain. "You are so adorable."
"Um...thank you."
"Welcome. Enjoy your afternoon," she says with a wink, and she claps Kurt on the shoulder as she passes. "You've landed the cutest guy that ever there was," she whispers, and Kurt looks over to where Blaine stands, rocking on the balls of his feet.
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Look at him," she sighs. "He looks so innocent, and yet he comes marching in here to get it on with you in your office."
"Huh? No? That's not...we were um... Blaine just brought me lunch," he says, holding up the bag. "That's all."
"Oh I see! That makes sense. Yes. Because of course he would need to lower the blinds and lock the door just to deliver a sandwich to you. Mmhmm. My bad."
Kurt stands, stunned, but Kate just laughs and walks away, calling back over her shoulder. "I'll catch you tomorrow, Kurt."
They are still laughing about the unexpected turn of events by the time evening comes, and they curl up in bed together, watching reruns of Saturday Night Live, though they're really more into each other, teasing with little kisses, and the smoothing of hands over bare expanses of skin.
"Blaine?"
"Hmm?"
"Things are better, aren't they?"
"Definitely. I know there's still a long way to go, but as each day comes, I just feel so much weight lifting from my shoulders, you know?"
"Yes, I agree. I feel freer than I have in a long while, actually."
"Now I just need to tell dad we went to Baltimore," Blaine points out, then pulls a face. "That's gonna be fun."
"Do you need to tell him?"
"Yes I do," Blaine laughs, digging him in the ribs. "I'd feel awful keeping something like that from him."
"He'll probably fly out here to chastise you face to face."
Blaine laughs, kissing along Kurt's side, and then nipping at his ribs. "He's not gonna do that."
Blaine pulls open the door and rolls his eyes. "You did not have to fly out here to chastise me face to face."
Burt grins, and hugs him, followed by his mom, who gives him a kiss and straightens his bow tie.
"I told ya, I need to give you something," Burt says, as he strides into the apartment.
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"This," he says, then smacks Blaine lightly on the back of his head. "You're an idiot."
"Here we go again."
"You could've been killed."
"They weren't gonna kill me," Blaine sighs. He's had this conversation at least ten times with Burt in the past week, and each time it has escalated into one or both of them yelling.
"You should've told me about this little plan when we were on vacation."
"Why?"
"So I could have come with you," Burt says gruffly, while Angie sits resignedly on the couch.
"Well that's new," Blaine says, as he sulks against the wall. "I didn't expect that."
"You're my boys," Burt explains, then he folds him up in his arms. "I didn't want you going into battle alone."
"It wasn't a battle," Blaine says, as patiently as he can. "I told you. I said all I needed to say, and we left. They didn't say a word, really. They were still trying to take it all in; especially all the stuff that Kurt revealed."
"Huh?" Angie suddenly comes to life. "What did Kurt reveal?"
"Dad didn't tell you about their little games?"
"Oh," Burt says quickly, looking truly terrified. "There's no need to..."
"What games?" Angie repeats firmly. "Bertram?"
"It's not..."
"He and Kurt, aided by Santana, seem to think they're a force to rival the Mafia. Somehow, a series of misfortunes have befallen the Lane family, including but not limited to; Simon mysteriously and suddenly losing every job he gets taken on for, Max getting kicked off the college football team, and James flunking his senior year. It appears that these two might have something to do with it."
"Are you kidding me?"
Blaine shakes his head, while Burt stares at the floor.
"Burt? Kindly tell me exactly who the idiot who could've gotten killed is? Blaine? Or you? You giant fool. Honestly."
"Sorry," Burt mumbles. "It's just... I needed to know I had some kind of revenge on them, you know? An eye for an eye and all that."
"If we all followed that mantra, the whole world would be blind and toothless," Angie snaps. "Now go and make yourself useful by fetching me a drink, while we wait for Kurt to come home."
Burt trails meekly out to the kitchen, while Blaine watches, then he goes over to the couch to sit by his mom. "You love him, don't you?"
"I do," she smiles. "Very much, but not in the way you're thinking."
"Like how then?"
"Like... I adore who he is. I love that he's so unintentionally funny. I love that he's caring and sweet, and not afraid to show his emotions, and I love that he's affectionate, you know? You and I, we both like cuddles. I think you know how wonderful it feels to have someone waiting with a warm hug when you get home from work."
"Isn't that all you want though?" Blaine asks, confused. "I know I've always said no to the idea, but if he makes you that happy, if you love him like you say you do... well, I wouldn't stand in your way."
"I need more," Angie explains gently. "It's sweet of you to say all that, but...if I was older, then maybe I'd consider staying with him, because it would be wonderful to have a companion for the rest of my life, but... well, there's something I need to tell you."
"Oh my god, are you pregnant?"
"By Burt?"
"By anyone!"
"I've never even kissed the man!"
"By anyone!" Blaine repeats.
"No!"
"Thank goodness. Because that I couldn't….no."
"I'm thinking of moving away."
"What?"
"My firm has offered me a transfer and promotion, to their branch in Riverside."
"Oh. Where's that?"
"California."
"What?!"
"Shh! Keep your voice down, because I haven't told Burt yet. Listen, Blaine. I love him dearly, I do, but I'm forty three. I'm not dead inside. Your dad and I...we get along great, but there's no spark, sexually, at all."
"So?"
"So we've talked about this at great length, and we both agree that we can carry on as we are, but that it probably wouldn't develop into anything more. Lima is a small town, Blaine. I'm sad for Burt, that he has to spend so long defending his choice to live with me to narrow minded idiots, who should keep their noses out of it. It saddens me to hear him telling Gina in the diner, or Liam's wife, or customers in the garage, that I'm just a friend, and then see the look on their faces which says they think he's lying. I thought I could do it, that it wouldn't matter what other people thought of us, but it's ruling our whole lives."
"So fuck them," Blaine snaps. "It's not their business."
"Don't curse. No it's not, but if I stay in Lima, whether I'm living with him or not, people will always assume we're together, and that's not fair to either one of us. I want the freedom to be able to go out on a date if I choose, and not have to worry about what other people think. I want that for Burt too."
"California though? That's so far away."
"But when we were there I felt like you did. I just loved it. Riverside is about an hour from the ocean, it's a better climate for me, it'd be a fresh start…. You three will always be my family, my darling boy, whatever happens. I will be with you for every holiday, birthday, Fourth of July... I'm never, ever, going to abandon you, or Kurt, or Burt, ever again."
"I don't want you to go," he says miserably, wiping at a few stray tears. "I mean, that's dumb, right? Because you don't live here anyway, but...ah. You know what? I'm just being selfish. You need to do this, I get that."
"I really do," she says softly, taking his hands. "Caring for Carl, being trapped in that awful marriage..." She stops, shaking her head. "I just... I feel like I need to start somewhere completely new. Where the friends I make are my friends, and it's up to me how much or how little I share. Burt has been my rock. I know maybe you don't see it as much, but he's healed me just like Kurt has healed you. I really do love him, Blaine, but I need to be by myself for a while.
Burt is an amazing support just like Kurt is to you and that's great, that's fantastic, but you and Kurt are about to enter into marriage together. That's not the case for us, and I feel like I need to fly the nest a little bit, however much it's gonna hurt."
Blaine hugs her, not trusting his voice not to break, and give way to bittersweet tears. "I love you," he eventually whispers, still shy expressing such sentiment to her. "And I'm really proud of you."
And he is. He never thought, when she first brought Spencer home, that his life would unfold the way it has. What is more, he had often thought that Angie would never be a person in her own right again, under his bullying and oppressive presence. So yes, he's proud that she is branching out on her own, claiming her life back for herself, and making a life of her own choosing. He just wishes it was closer to home, that's all.
Out in the kitchen, leaning against the wall as he brushes back endless tears, Burt Hummel feels exactly the same.