Life is a beach... or maybe death is.

"Sirius, no!" Harry screamed in horror as his godfather fell through the veil, and before anyone could stop him, Harry leapt through after him.

Remus Lupin didn't even have to think twice as he ran for the veil, his intentions plain to see. The five stunners that hit him barely fazed him as he dove through after them.

"Wait for me!" Luna called out cheerfully as hastily cast stunners bounced off her shield. "Whee!" she called out as she attempted a cannonball.

Ron was still out of it and Hermione too injured, so Shacklebolt stunned Ginny and Neville to ensure they didn't leap through the veil.

Tonks looked like she was considering it, so Minerva stunned her.

Everyone stared horrified, unable to think of a thing to do until Dumbledore finally said, "Well, fuck!"

Bellatrix laughed loudly. "So much for your golden b-" she began, only to be converted into a spray of blood and gore by an easy wave of Dumbledore's wand.

Everyone turned to stare at Dumbledore who simply shrugged. "Prophecy's right buggered and I'm taking off the kid gloves."

"What is going on in here?" Fudge demanded as he showed up in his pajamas, making everyone wonder why he was sleeping at the ministry of magic.

Before anyone could respond, the aurors finally showed up and Voldemort apparated in.

Dumbledore quickly activated the anti-apparition ward and waved to the minister. "Fudge, Voldemort. Voldemort, Fudge."

Shields were raised as Voldemort spit a flurry of spells at everyone to cover his escape. Dumbledore didn't bother chasing after him. Everyone turned to the elder wizard to figure out what to do.

"What are you looking at me for?" he asked sarcastically. "It's not like Voldemort's back and the minister's been covering it up and accepting bribe money from Death Eaters, like this group we have tied up here. Hey, Neville, want to be the next Boy-Who-Lived? We have an opening."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Well, here we all are," Sirius said as they looked around at the seemingly endless desert around them. "I expected death to be... different," Sirius admitted.

"Obviously we aren't dead," Luna said, turning a lizard into a parasol to protect her from the sun.

"Where are we?" Harry asked.

"Somewhere hot," Sirius said.

"I always knew following in your footsteps would land me somewhere hot," Remus joked.

"Point me, road," Luna cast, watching her wand spin until it pointed west. "Shall we?" she asked, presenting her arm.

"We shall," Harry said, taking her arm and stepping under her parasol before they both started off. He cast cooling charms on their robes as they started across the dunes.

"Come on, old wolf," Sirius ordered as he turned and followed them.

Screw Voldemort, let's go to the beach!

Number 12 Grimmauld Place

"You should let the adults handle it, dear," Molly said. "You're much too young to be worrying about things like this."

Harry saw the rest of the Order nodding or even voicing their agreement, with Severus of course adding his usual vitriol. Tired of being kept in the dark, while being forced to do all the heavy lifting, he came to a decision. "You know what? You're right." Harry smiled, feeling like a huge weight was off his shoulders. "I am much too young for any of this and I really should just walk away."

A couple of peoples' smiles fell, but Sirius perked up. "Really?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Harry said brightly. "Of course, as long as I'm in England, he'll keep coming after me, but I don't have a lot tying me here. Let's head back to the island in the Caribbean you were on and just hire tutors."

"What about your friends?" Albus quickly burst out, seeing his plans falling apart.

"They can write," Harry waved it off. "Since I won't be at the Dursley's, I'll actually be able to get mail."

"What about Voldemort?" someone burst out.

"Not my concern. You all agreed on that and I'm agreeing with you. It's up to you lot. Do me proud!"

Sirius quickly hurried after him as he left. "Please tell me you were serious, and I don't mean me!"

"I'm serious," Harry told him. "All I really own in the world is packed in a single trunk. We can be out of here and relaxing on a beach as soon as we figure out a way there."

"Wahoo!" Sirius cheered.

"What's he cheering about?" Ron asked, as he and the twins sat in the sitting room playing cards, waiting for the Order meeting to end while Ginny and Hermione worked on something involving three magazines and a number of powders.

"We're moving out of this dreary old place to somewhere a lot more cheerful," Sirius said cheerfully.

"The Order's relocating?" Hermione asked.

"Nah, me and Sirius are moving out of England," Harry replied.

"What about Voldemort?!" Ron exclaimed.

"Dumbledore says he and the Order have it covered," Harry assured them. "Your mum even took the time to assure me of that. Dobby!"

*POP*

"Harry Potter Sir is calling Dobby?" the house elf asked hopefully.

"I was thinking of relocating to a sunny beach, with lots of booze and topless women," Harry replied. "Want to come along?"

"Dobby would love to!" the excitable little house elf exploded in joy.

"How can you-" Hermione exploded only to find herself silenced by Sirius.

"Dobby will be grabbing his surfing board now!"

*POP*

"He has a surf board?" Sirius asked.

"When he found out I couldn't swim, Dobby brought me a bunch of magazines on beaches and we discovered a few things. One, I want a house in the tropics and two, Dobby loves the idea of surfing. Hell, he loves the tropics even more than I do!"

"Screw packing," Sirius decided. "I'll pay the goblins to do it." He took a coral necklace out of his pocket. "Emergency portkey. Grab on."

"Wait for Dobby," Harry said.

*POP*

The little house elf appeared wearing flip flops, a Hawaiian shirt, khaki pants, and holding a surf board. "Dobby is ready to hang nine!"

"I thought it was hang ten," George muttered as the three portkeyed out.

Typing by: Ordieth!

AN: A couple of HP starts that I never figured out where to go with.