Ensign America 2

Part 1 - More Fragments chapter 9

"I'll take him," Clint volunteered , waving Phil off.

"So, where the hell am I and what's going on?" Xander asked, once they were safely away from the dangerous redhead.
"You are at a top secret SHIELD installation and everything is classified," Clint told him, stopping to enter a twelve digit code so they could board on elevator.

"OK," Xander said easily. "So, Captain America can survive being frozen?"

"Classified and I sure hope so," Clint said. "We've spent a lot of money for nothing otherwise. Speaking of being frozen, how did you survive?"

"I was on the swim team in high school," Xander told him.

Clint considered that for a moment. "I can tell you are actually being serious, but that answer is miles away from anything I expected."

Xander grinned. "I'll explain in more detail when we get to the doc."

"I was going to guess you were the understudy of one of those magicians who freeze themselves in blocks of ice," Clint admitted.

"That would have been a great joke," Xander said. "I could claim I learned it for the school talent show."

Clint laughed as they exited the elevator. "I would have won my school's talent show, but my blindfolded William Tell act was deemed irresponsible. I still say it's not a show without some danger."

"Our talent show resulted in three fatalities," Xander said thoughtfully as they walked down the corridor. "Of course that's including a ventriloquist dummy."

"What about the handler?" Clint asked.

"He survived, well for a few months anyway. He had cancer, it was completely unrelated," Xander assured him.

"I think I'll avoid ventriloquist dummies anyway," Clint decided as they entered the medical bay, "Just on general principles."

"The dummy did stab someone to death," Xander admitted, "So that's probably a good thing."

"Mr. Harris?" a doctor in a white lab coat asked as he approached.

"That would be me," Xander agreed.

"We should probably get you out of those rags and put that axe somewhere or at least disinfect it," the doctor suggested.

"Do you have anything in my size?" Xander asked handing the axe to Clint and removing the shreds of his shirt.

"Not standard," the doc admitted, "But a bed sheet made into a toga would be more presentable than your current attire."

"I am suffering a wedgie something fierce," Xander admitted reaching down and accidentally ripping apart the remains of his pants leaving him naked.

"Looks like moss," Clint snorted.

Xander looked down, "The important thing is it appears undamaged, I can dye the hair or just date vegetarians."

Clint laughed. "The newest trend to reduce mankind's carbon footprint is called going green."

Xander snickered as the doc lead him over to an exam table that was actually big enough for him. "You guys have this happen before?" Xander asked as he laid down.

"No, however I know of a couple of people your size or larger," the Doctor told him checking his eyes and mouth.

"Now, how does being on the swim team in high school means you can be thawed out like Captain America?" Clint asked.

"Our swim team coach was an insane Russian scientist who dosed us with… I think we just called it fish steroids. Anyway most of the team mutated into mindless, creature from the black lagoon, knock offs. I got a complete blood transfusion and was fine, except for a few side effects. I have a greater lung capacity than I should, heal a bit quicker, and I have an enzyme in my blood that is normally only found in fish that live under the polar ice caps."

The doc hit Xander's knee with a reflex hammer to no effect. He hit it harder, still unnoticed and frowned.

"Was he ever charged?" Clint asked, "Because the authorities tend to frown on that sort of thing."

"Sadly, he fell into a pit filled with his own creations and was eaten alive," Xander said cheerfully.

"Bet you don't see that every day," Clint said shaking his head.

"You'd be surprised," Xander said, thinking about the zookeeper.

The doctor hit Xander in the knee with a carpenter's hammer, but he still didn't notice.

"Do you have the doctor's number so we can get your file? It'll speed up the testing and get all of this done that much sooner," Clint said.

"Not off the top of my head," Xander said. "Just call Sunnydale General and they should direct you to the right doc."

"Sunnydale sank into the ocean," Clint told him.

"What?" Xander stared at him in shock.

"It was a couple of years ago," Clint told him. "The people started leaving and a week later the empty town was swallowed up, first by the earth and then by the sea."

"I always thought it would end in fire myself," Xander said, wondering how he could go and finding out if his friends had made it out.

Xander's right leg kicked and the two turned and looked at the doctor, who wiped sweat from his brow and set down a twenty pound sledge hammer. "Reflex's normal," he said, after catching his breath.

"Want me to run a check on where your family is?" Clint asked.

"No, but I would like to check on some friends," Xander said thoughtfully. "Got dial up?"

"Dial up?" Clint looked at him in shock for a second and laughed. "Technology has advanced far beyond dial up, but there is a whole lot of classified, not able to talk about, stuff we have to go through first."

"How about general surfing of the web to catch up on things?" Xander asked.

The doc sighed as his biggest needle didn't even scratch his skin.

"I'll have to monitor it, but I don't see why not," Clint said.

"The nurse will take your measurements and vitals while I requisition some special equipment," the doctor said.

A dark haired woman dressed in an identical white lab coat and carrying a clipboard smiled at him. "This way please."

A quick check showed Xander was now six foot, ten inches tall, weighted four hundred and twenty three pounds, and had arms too big for their blood pressure cuffs.

"Where does all the extra mass come from?" Xander wondered aloud, just before his stomach growled loud enough to almost make Clint go for a weapon.

"No idea," the nurse replied, "But I think we better feed you before your stomach devours itself."

"Or someone else," Clint added as it growled again, sounding remarkably like an annoyed pit bull.

Typing by: AzureSky123