Stoppable? Not Hardly!

"I understand," Ron said hanging up the phone. He sighed and rubbed his temples, not only did Kim break up with him for some brainless pretty boy, but he had the worst headache.

His parents were off… where the hell were they anyway? They'd been gone at least a week, but they'd been absent so much this year that he'd lost track. It seemed like every time he turned around they'd vanished again.

Four aspirin and a shot of Nyquil muted the pounding enough for him to sleep-

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

-At least it had until his alarm went off. Ron stumbled downstairs and found Wade on his television. "Ron! I can't get ahold of Kim!"

"She's on a date," Ron said. "She's probably just turned off her Kimmunicator."

"Aren't you two…" Wade trailed off.

"She dumped me about…half an hour ago," Ron said after glancing at the clock.

Wade quickly switched to a more comfortable topic. "Drakken and Shego have stolen a weather dominator and are trying to take over Canada!" Wade exclaimed. "Global Justice has a jet enroute to pick up you and Kim. "

"I'll be ready, remember to send a communicator for me," Ron replied, shutting off the TV and going to use the bathroom. On his way back downstairs he picked up a yo-yo and his bathrobe and fuzzy bunny slippers.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Twenty Minutes Later…

A trio of henchmen surrounded the jet's ejection seat before the parachute could even settle to the ground and captured Ron, dressed in pajamas, bath robe and fuzzy bunny slippers.

They quickly drug the half-awake teen to Dr. Drakken.

The blue skinned scientist looked at Ron in confusion. "Where's Kim Possible and why are you in your jammies?"

"Yeah, where's the princess?" Shego demanded.

"Out on a date," Ron replied with a yawn.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"-on a date," Stoppable said before letting out a huge yawn.

Dr. Director winced. "This is a disaster," she said as she watched the video feed that Drakken was broadcasting to make his demands.

"This is what comes from working with amateurs," Will Du said solemnly.

"Where the hell is Kim?" she demanded.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"So you're here all alone?" Drakken asked with an evil grin.

"Yep, just me, myself and this grenade disguised as a yo-yo," Ron said pulling out a yo-yo and playing with it.

"What?" everyone screeched and stepped away from him.

"Relax, it'll only go off if-" The yo-yo snapped off the end of the string and rolled in a circle. "Uh oh."

"AHH! Grenade!" Everyone took cover but Ron who quickly stepped over the cowering Drakken and hit the self-destruct button.

"Sixty seconds to self-destruct!"

"Crap!" Shego cursed. "Abandon base!"

"What about the grenade?" Drakken demanded.

"Dud," Ron told them. "My yo-yo grenades are still on back order. I should have them by Tuesday."

"Curse you Kim Possible!" Drakken yelled before Shego drug him off.

Ron rolled his eyes and ignored the fleeing villains and their henchmen to use Drakken's coco maker.

"Thirty seconds to self-destruct!"

Hearing the familiar ring of Wade's communicator he pulled it out of his pocket. "Hey Wade, do I look like a Kim to you?"

"You have to get out of there!"

"Five seconds to self-destruct."

Ron reached over and pulled out the self-destruct button.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Send in the agents to secure the property and cut the feed," Dr. Director ordered.

Will Du stared at the screen in shock until she cleared her throat and he quickly jumped to obey her.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"You were saying?" Ron asked before taking a sip of coco.

"Good job Ron," Wade said. "And…I'll have your yo-yo grenades ready on Monday."

"Thanks Wade. You know what? I think I'll claim salvage on this place."

"Actually you can only do that on property that's been partially destroyed or abandoned," the lead agent on the scene said as Global Justice's agents flooded the lair, ready to apprehend any remaining henchmen and remove the weather dominator.

"And since it's abandoned but intact it doesn't qualify?"

"Exactly," the agent agreed.

"Well who am I to argue the fine points of law with a federal agent," Ron said cheerfully setting his coco down on the self-destruct button. "Whoopsie," he deadpanned.

"Four seconds to total annihilation!" the speakers blared.

"Exceptions can be made!" the agent squealed.

Ron pulled out the button with two seconds to spare.

"I'm happy to hear that. Sorry for the attitude, but it's been one of those days. I'm going to grab the comfiest bed here and sleep 'til Monday."

"Yes sir," the agent said deciding to tread lightly around Stoppable until he was in a better mood.

Once Ron was gone a junior agent stepped up. "Sir, are we going to allow him to blackmail us like that?"

The senior agent chuckled. "He took the base with just a yo-yo while in his bathrobe. I'm willing to bet he'd let it blow up around him for the salvage rights. The only reason he stopped it was so we could recover the weather dominator and so he has less to repair himself. Despite what some people think the 'A' in agent doesn't stand for asshole."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"-for asshole."

The feed was finally cut and the director sighed. "Well the FCC will probably fine us, but the publicity did more for our PR than anything we've accomplished in the last three years."

"And Stoppable's actions?" Will asked.

"As an independent agent he has legal authority until formally relieved. Since everything happened before that occurred he's legally in the clear."

Typing by: The Last Primarch!

AN: For some reason a lot of shows with a strong female lead tend to have a male sidekick they like to kick around. Personally, I think it's sexist and makes it look like the only way they can show a women standing tall is by cutting down all the men around her, but that's just me. I like to give the underdog a break which is why I tend to write about those characters.