Severus's P.O.V
I couldn't bring myself to owl Lena after her reply, I knew what she meant about being confused and the next few days were beyond unbearable. I couldn't concentrate and even with the students playing up in lessons, I couldn't bring myself to punish them, and many realising this, began to take control shouting and running around the dungeons. There was just something about this whole thing that unsettled me greatly. And I knew that no matter how hard Lena fought against me I would still be here waiting as no one had ever loved me the way she did, especially Lily, and for some reason, Lena called to me no matter who's company I was in. I'd spoken briefly to Albus about it, but not knowing of such things himself I found him highly unhelpful and almost bored of the trials and tribulations of my love life. I could only hope that things righted themselves on Lena's return. But one Albus asked that I pay 12 Grimmauld place to check on Sirius, I found myself wandering down to Hogsmeade and disapparating with a pop.
Lena's P.O.V
I curled myself up in bed, hugging myself warmly. The days I'd been absent from school seemed to pass quickly and surely enough a week and a half had passed before finally there was not an ounce of pain, unless I pressed against my abdomen when I'd almost immediately curl up in agony, and the only problem I had now was the fact the I was struggling to sleep, so much so that I found myself staying awake till Remus came into my room and curled up in the chair, his book laying unread on his lap, while his eyes watched me unmoving, and only then, knowing he was present, could I even attempt sleep.
When I woke on the second Wednesday of my stay at home it was to find Remus's chair occupied, he was still snoozing gently and I watched him peacefully. He woke moments later and left the room without a word but I knew this was my queue to dress and follow him, slowly down the stairs for breakfast. Although the pain had died down I still found myself unable to eat that much and so my presence in the kitchen would have been almost unnecessary had it not been for my favouring of hot coffee in the morning. Walking into the kitchen I saw that Remus had stopped stock still, unmoving, staring at the occupied chair at the table, as sat beside Dad, who looked more than a little irked was Severus.
I sat wordlessly down on the loveseat taking my coffee from Kreacher who came and looked up at Severus lovingly. "Severus has come to check up on us Remus." Dad's voice was bitter and I turned my back on the men, unable to look Severus in the eye. "Albus ordered that I come to ensure everything was okay here, that you hadn't been on any more walkabout's and that you'd actually managed to keep your daughter alive on your own, seeming as no one at the castle has heard from her." I could tell he was looking at me but I couldn't pull myself to look at him and I watched Remus instead who sat opposite Severus, his eyes pinned firmly between Severus's eyes. "We are more than capable of looking after Lena thank you Snivellus." Dad spoke the name with such anger, such bitterness, that it bit at my skin as it always did. Children, the bloody lot of them. "I thinks that's all isn't it Severus?" Remus's voice was quiet but shared the same bitterness that Dad's did.
"I'm going up to shower," and although Dad looked at me questioningly I hurried up the staircase, hoping Severus would catch on. As I reached my little landing I stood and waited quietly, looking out of the window upon Grimmauld place. The streets were grey with filth and I could hardly look upon the place with happiness. "I wondered if you'd talk to me." Severus's voice was cold and it hurt somewhere deep within me. And Severus flicked his wand whispering Muffliato, before speaking, his voice scratchy and pained "What is it Lena? Hmm, why are you confused?" I looked at him only briefly and saw no emotion in his cold dark eyes. "I don't know Severus. I don't know anymore." "You don't know what?" He came to stand beside me quietly, looking just as unwashed as he did the first time I'd met him. "I just don't know anymore. Why didn't you reply?" my voice sounded hurt and I felt a little triumphant, make him no he's hurt you, go on. "Is it because you don't want me now, now that I'm questioning it, everything, us?" He looked down his nose at me and I turned from the anger in his eyes. "You write me Lena, and tell me you're confused, you really expect me to write back as if everything's normal?" "That's it though isn't it; nothing will ever be the same." He shook his head and went to take a hold of my arms but I flinched away and held myself, looking out across the cold September morning. "I told you Severus, I need time, and I thought you'd granted me that," Hurt passed over his face and was replaced quickly with anger.
"Maybe I don't want to give you time! Maybe I thought that if I gave you time, you'd realise you'd make a mistake and end it, or pick the wolf over me!" I looked up into his eyes coldly, "maybe you were right!" I turned from him and walked towards my bedroom, "And you know what Severus, I'm okay, thanks for asking, I just had to kill my own child without any support from you, had to sit there and feel my body rejecting it without even a word of sympathy or kindness from you, all you care about is your precious self." I slammed the door in his face and tumbled to my bed, sobs raking my body. He stood at my door for a while, knocking gently, trying to get me to listen, apologising profusely. Hearing the pain and regret in his voice hurt me a little too much and eventually I flicked my wand, whispering Muffliato myself to block out his incessant pleas. I know that the separation had been my fault, but not even in his first letter had he asked if I needed him. I would have crossed the world for him, run a thousand miles, stand in front of everyone in the great hall and declare my love for him, but he wouldn't even leave his precious classroom for me.
I sat in the window seat of my room, watched as Severus left the house and disappeared with a pop from the front steps. I knew I'd hate myself for pushing him away, but I needed time, needed a break from all the secrets and hiding. That night, I slid the lock across my bedroom door before Remus had chance to enter it, and although I slept dreadfully, I was safe in the knowledge I wouldn't let myself be played by my own greedy, selfish heart.