Standing in front of the fireplace I let Dad hug me tightly, tears streaming down his face silently. "I'll be back at Christmas, promise," I tried to pull myself away from him but he was persistent and I was only able to escape when he began to hiccough loudly, his whole body shaking. I hugged Remus quickly, forcing myself not to look into his eyes before I gave Kreacher a quick pat on the head. "Okay." I took the small paintbrush in my hand and it glowed a silvery blue as the familiar sensation behind my naval began, Dad and Remus's faces swimming before me.
I landed quite gracefully in Professor McGonagall's office and she greeted me happily. I whispered thanks to her softly as Fred and George moved to envelope me, as it was Saturday, they weren't in lessons, and they had obviously been waiting for me as they hugged me tightly. "We missed you Lena, don't leave us ever." I laughed into George's chest and felt soft lips in my hair, "How are you feeling?" I smiled up at George and laughed quietly, "Better for seeing you." He smiled down at me, but his smile wasn't as bright as Fred's who seemed to gleam with excitement, but George squeezed my hand tightly and said nothing more on the matter, and as we said our thanks and goodbye to McGonagall, the boys each took one of my arms and swung me happily along the corridor, my bag slapping Fred hard on the back where he carried it. They walked me quietly to the common room, Fred talking heavily about Umbridge and I couldn't help but notice the sheer hatred in his voice, "Who does she think she is anyway, banning our merchandise. We even caught Filch playing with a fanged Frisbee last Saturday, proper happy he was." I smiled weakly and although Fred didn't see it, George obviously did, his face dropping a little as he noticed the absence of emotion in my eyes.
"Fred, go find Angelina, she was taking Ron out for some extra practise before dinner, and I'll take Lena up." Fred looked between George and I and the twins stood motionless but seemed to be communicating somehow as Fred looked over us both before skipping away happily, a smirk on his face. "I'm fine George, seriously," he snorted "that's why you look like you've got a bowtruckle biting your foot then?" The side of my mouth twitched, "you miss nothing do you George." He smiled down at me cheekily and I laughed, taking his arm and leading him, not to the common room but over to the large cathedral-like windows beside Flitwicks classroom and we sat together on the hard wooden bench beneath it. "How's everyone been here?"
He shrugged, "Harry and Ron have been walking around like zombies, but they won't talk about it and the girls have been hit really hard, Ginny and Hermione wouldn't enter a bathroom alone for the first week, and Angelina's just been a bit broken. She's missed you obviously, been proper unfocused though, practise has been awful." "What about you George, and Fred?" he looked up at sadly, "missed you obviously, Fred won't talk about it though so Angelina got proper stroppy with him, wouldn't talk to him, but I wanted to speak about it and Angelina was glad of the company I think," "glad I could push you together," it was meant as a joke but George looked away with a mumble of agreement. "You are alright, aren't you George?" I took his hand and squeezed it tightly, he didn't look at me and I was glad, everything had suddenly become quite uncomfortable, "You looked so broken Lena, I really thought… I really thought we might lose you." I squeezed his hand tightly, "I'm not going anywhere George, promise." He squeezed my hand tightly this time and pressed the softest of kisses to back of my hand which lay in his clasped ones.
"The teachers were a proper mess that day after though, everything sort of slipped a bit you know. Dumbledore told everyone you'd been attacked and most people put two and two together, but it's been quiet you know, even the Slytherins, they haven't said anything, although Malfoy got Fred on his own last week and asked if you were okay. None of them are happy. See what he did, its muggle evil, not even the top death eaters would do that." I smiled weakly at him, a pain in my chest. "So the teachers were weird?" I tried to make my voice as un sly as possible and George carried on, "Mm, McGonagall was bad the first couple of days but she shook herself out of it, hasn't been too nice to the Slytherins though, and Snape, he's been awful, proper moody, barely said a word, can see why though, doesn't look great on him does it, his star student attacked by one of his own. Think he feels guilty personally, see he was the only teacher not to punish Ambrose for what he said or did to you; even Umbridge had him for trying to curse you from the astronomy tower apparently." I looked out of the window to see Angelina and Ron circling the goal posts, a tiny red head trying to catch their attention from down in the stands.
"Lena, its Snape isn't it, your admirer?" I looked at him shocked, "how did you…?" "The way he acted that night and the way he's been since you went, he's been really lost. It all makes sense though, all the crazy magic, the secrecy and the way he looked at you on your birthday, he couldn't take his eyes off you, " his voice was soft and had an edge of sadness to it, "It doesn't matter anyway, we're not together anymore." He squeezed my fingers tightly at the sound of my voice breaking and we sat quietly watching commotion unfold on the Quidditch pitch. Ron had whacked a quaffle pretty hard in Angelina's direction, and now Ron was being hounded by both Angelina and his older brother who stood in the stands making angry gestures at the younger.
"We should get going, don't want to be late for dinner." We walked slowly to the common room and seeing Harry and Ron I ran into their arms, tears sliding down my cheeks as I held tightly to them with all I had left. "Thank you," I whispered it into both their ears and kissed them on the cheeks, as they squeezed me tightly. I tried brushing the back of Harry's hair down but it stood up perversely and I was quickly enveloped into warm, wet hugs from Hermione and Ginny, their tears mixing with mine as we cried.
George dragged us all down to dinner a little later and I walked into the great hall with my head bowed a little, George's arm supportively lay across my shoulders, and none of us could help but notice the hush that fell upon the hall as we took our bench at Gryffindor table. Angelina squeezed me tightly and refused to let go of my hand the whole of dinner and her fingers were like a warm protective cage over my own. I dared a look up at the staff table and my stomach clenched uncomfortably as Severus, being caught watching me, stood and swept from the hall, no emotion on his face. Dumbledore watched and glanced sadly towards me, smiling at me reassuringly as George squeezed my knee tightly. Pain and guilt washed through my veins and I wanted nothing more to follow him and talk and I couldn't keep myself from being one of the first to leave as everyone piled towards the great oak doors. I stole myself down to the dungeons quickly, and the Slytherins, being sat the far side of the hall, were yet to reach the doors, so I went unnoticed. I walked quietly down the vacant corridors and my stomach rolled as I passed by the bathroom, but I didn't look at it and instead kept my gaze steadily towards the door of the dungeon classroom. With no answer on my knock, I opened the door quietly to find it empty. I closed the door silently and paced back up the freezing corridor towards his office.
Light shone out beneath the door and I had to steady myself outside it before I knocked. There was no answer but the pacing footsteps stopped quietly. I pushed the door open and closed it quickly, standing with my back pressed against it. His eyes were cold as they bore into mine and I averted my gaze, looking instead at one of the jarred specimens that lay on the opposing wall. "Out." His voice was cold and my nails bit into my palms as I steadied myself again, my heart doing a steady cha cha against my rib cage. "I said, out!" I flinched as he came to stand over me, his voice bitter and hurt. As he stood almost a head above me, I felt imprisoned stood with my back pressed firmly against the door, "I'm sorry." My hand fell to the cold door knob and I brushed passed him as I made to run from the room. His hand caught my wrist and he pulled me back in tightly, forcefully. I pulled my wrist from his grasp and he looked down to where his nails had bit into the closed wounds that the stone cuffs had made around them. "Sorry, Lena." I looked up at him sadly, and his eyes bore down into mine, not with the hatred and pain as before, but now with guilt and remorse. Fresh tears sprang to my ears and he wiped them away gently but I flinched and stepped back from him.
"You left me Severus. I was totally alone." My voice was bitter but I sobbed, holding my hand to my mouth. "Lena, I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do. You said you were confused so I gave you some space, obviously I know that was wrong now." I shook my head. "It was right, I did need space. And I don't know why I'm angry at you anymore. I fucked up big time Severus, it's me who should be apologising, I broke my promise to you, and I went against everything we'd made," "What do you mean Lena, you haven't done anything wr…" "I kissed Remus," it was out before I could stop myself and this time he stepped back from me, "I knew it, couldn't keep away could you?" He started to walk from me and I sobbed loudly, "please Severus, I just, I was so confused," my voice rattled as if totally empty, "Oh please, you aren't confused, you're a silly selfish little girl."
I stood back from him hurt and the bitterness in his eyes sliced angry scars across my skin. "Well it wasn't as if you were there was it! Where were you hmm? Sat in your precious bloody classroom! Remus was there, he looked after me, wanted to make sure I was okay! Don't you dare act as if you're the victim here! I cheated, so what! I needed you, needed to know that you'd wait, even when I was confused. Did you not think that maybe I'd be confused, after everything! He raped me Severus!" He couldn't look me in the eye and I forced myself in-front of him, although he tried to move from me, "Can't take it can you? Knowing what he did, try being me, I wish I could bloody hide from it, but some of us aren't so lucky!" I spat at him and he flinched angrily.
"I didn't mean to hide from it, I didn't know what to say to you, everybody was around you, I tried that night, but every time I looked at you it was as if it was me who had done that to you!" I flinched guiltily and unfolded my arms from my chest, "Maybe we really do need a break, we're poison." I slid from the room without another word and stumbled towards the staircase where I found George sat silently waiting. I fell into his arms and he held me warmly as he shushed me. "It's okay, I'm here Lena, shh," his fingers stroked my hair slowly and eventually the sobs dried up and we sat silently, his fingers slow in my hair. "Tell someone. A teacher, Sirius, someone." I shook my head, "never. I love him too much George." He sighed and helped me to stand, my legs weak beneath me. We were silent as we walked away from the freezing dungeons and back to the warmth and light of Gryffindor tower.